Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login

Girlie Free Zone

last reply
42 replies
1.8k views
3 watchers
0 likes
It occurs to me, that us boys need a little corner where we can go and relax and be boys, have a boys chat, a good scratch, and do all that important boys stuff which gets frowned on in mixed company.
So here it is, a girlie free zone where we can relax and be boys.
Perhaps we could talk about the girls on the site, and say all those things we wouldn't dare say when they were looking, swap notes and things.
Go on then, who wants to be first up?? Not scared are you??
Club rules - Only one
Any message which is in the least way hurtful or deliberately insulting to any of the women in this forum will be removed immediately. I love them all dearly, and THIS IS JUST FOR FUN.
Official Opening Times
The GFZ will be open for business from around 1700 each Friday, until midnight on the following Sunday. Extensions will be frequent.
Kat
Links to previous GFZ weekends:
GFZ - Opening Weekend
GFZ - Graduation Weekend
GFZ - England win by 19 points
GFZ - DJohn: "OK Blue, do your worst!"
GFZ - Confessions of a Stag Night
GFZ - That Ralgex Moment
GFZ - 1320, Leather Kilts, and a VERY Shiny Red Helmet
GFZ - The Kate and Mel show
GFZ - Cartoon Fun
GFZ - Anything BUT Girlie Free rolleyes
GFZ - Sgt Bilko Captures the Record
GFZ - Will gets his 10 out, which turns out to be 7 really!
GFZ - Gretchen, Chocolate Sauce, and a VERY loaded Shotgun :eeek:
GFZ - Kate Calls Jag's bluff
GFZ - Sarge, Hughies and Ralphs
GFZ - Bedrock Bedlam
GFZ - Mr FC gives his missus one - and keeps one for himself
GFZ - Sarge Cleans Up
GFZ - Of Nipples, Munches and Two Men Mowing a Meadow
GFZ - Bluexxx hits 3000!
GFZ - The Red Mist Descends
GFZ - Manchester United 0 - Liverpool 1
GFZ - Kit Rules
GFZ - The Lost Boys GFZ.
GFZ - The shortest ever, only because the Lost boys got lost! :roll:
GFZ - Sarge Opens Up
GFZ – Easy gets locked in
:smug:
I can't remember the last time I got to do this!
*Kat sneaks in and spot welds the taps for the jacuzzi*
flipa
Now... where is my list of sexist jokes?
lhk
Kat
Here it is....
** How do you scare men? - Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice
** What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? - The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
** Why is the book "Women Who Love Too Much" a disappointment for men? - No phone numbers.
** Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for a man than a woman? - Because when it's time to go back to childhood, he's already there.
** How many men does it take to pop popcorn? - Three . . . one to hold the pan and two others to show off and shake the stove.
How many men to change a light bulb? Two, one to change the bulb and one to collect the medal.
** How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? - We don't know . . it's never happened.
Q. What do you call a man who's lost 95% of his brain?
A. A widower.
** What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.
** What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
** How are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.
** How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys two cases beer instead of one.
** What's the difference between Big Foot and an intelligent man?
Big Foot's been spotted several times.
** What's the smartest thing a man can say?
"My wife says.."
** What is the quickest way to a man's Heart ???
Through his chest with a sharp knife .......
Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A. Breasts don't have eyes.
** My secret fantasy is to have two men at the same time....
One cooking and one cleaning.
Q: How can you tell when a man is well hung?
A: When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.
Q: How do men define a "50/50" relationship?
A: We cook -- they eat; we clean -- they dirty; we iron -- they wrinkle.
Q: How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male?
A: All he's concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs.
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: ONE .........He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
Q: What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?
A: Any place without a drive-up window.
** How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
Both of them.
** Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time.
** How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
We don't know; it has never happened.
** Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
They all already have boyfriends.
** What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A widow.
** When do you care for a man's company?
When he owns it.
** How are men and parking spots alike?
Good ones are always taken.
Free ones are mostly handicapped or extremely short.
What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called?
- The man.
What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
- His wife is good at picking out clothes.
What do you call a man who expects to have sex on the second date?
- Slow.
What do you call a man with 99% of his brain missing?
- Castrated.
:shock: hang on, has Kit been messing around with my favorites links? :shock:
lhk
Kat
Quote by KitKat
:smug:
I can't remember the last time I got to do this!
*Kat sneaks in and spot welds the taps for the jacuzzi*
:flippa:
Now... where is my list of sexist jokes?
lhk
Kat

You're just soooo not that brave Kate lol :lol: :lol: :lol:
Or are you in need of another waxing? :twisted:
Jas
XXX
Edit: I knew it :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Hello, hello is any one here????????
Quote by KitKat
** Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
They all already have boyfriends.

rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Quality!
Minx x x
ah, evening all,
(settling in with a pipe, me slippers, a glass of single malt, me spaniel lying by my feet in front of a blazing log fire)
Ok chaps let the :bs: begin. :twisted:
:giveup: Its my first time in here, so please be gentle wink
Quote by Pete_sw
Its my first time in here, so please be gentle wink

OOO what a mistaka to maka :P ;)
Minx x x
Quote by Sarah
Hello, hello is any one here????????

Nope, just some tumbleweed blowing past and a squeaky sign swinging (aha - on topic!!) in the breeze.
Any chance I can sit beside you with a brandy and lovage and should I bring my pussy or would your dog bark at it biggrin
DD
How many men to change a light bulb? Two, one to change the bulb and one to collect the medal.
:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:
Quote by devondelight
Any chance I can sit beside you with a brandy and lovage and should I bring my pussy or would your dog bark at it biggrin
DD

Feel free, he's very well trained, though he might get a bit excited if your pussy spits at him :shock:
Tsk Tsk ... blatantly sexist in here.... thought it was supposed to be girlie free..... that's no good for a single male swinger..
......and I just watched Peter Kay on the telly....... boy is he fecking crap ..... first time AND the last time I ever watch that plonker...... evil
Snort................... grunt.............eh?................... shuffle about ................. squint.........
MY gawd, its dark outside .............. cough, ermm must have dozed off ..... mumble mumble ........... wheres me feckin pipe, .............. blink ...............:shock: :shock: :shock: and who's nicked me dog???????
devondelight .................. whats your pussy done with me spaniel? mad :x
biggrin
Tsk Tsk ... blatantly sexist in here.... thought it was supposed to be girlie free..... that's no good for a single male swinger..
Dont worry wishmaster I'll help boost the testosterone levels in here
Look, just pull up a chair and engage in the fine old British tradition of "Bullshitting at the Bar ……….. Its not voluntary you know ………….. Its an act of duty to queen and country. …………………… (especially when pished)
ok take this AS A JOKE, but it's still funny......
some bloke has a sex change and gets turned in to (obviously) a girl - he goes into the pub and tells all his mates about it, and they're all incredulous:
one mate says - what hurt the most? having your boobs fitted?
he says no.
the next mate says:
having your dick removed?
he says no.
the next mate says:
was it having your balls removed?
he says no.
so what was it? they say...
the most painful thing was having my brain removed.
biggrin
Disclaimer, just in case:
i dont actually think women have no brains... it's just a piss take. it's funny becuase it's stupid.
seeing as though there seems to be a distinct lack of testosterone in here.. i thought i'd help out.
So, i'm off to see Michael Owen make his debut for Newcastle tomorrow...
does anyone else agree that it's maybe a good move for England to see Owen in a 4-4-2 with Dyer backing him up (when fit)for a repeat of some previous successful English tactics?
...or shall i just get back to talking about Robocop in the dangerous insertions thread?
Quote by fluffer
seeing as though there seems to be a distinct lack of testosterone in here.. i thought i'd help out.
So, i'm off to see Michael Owen make his debut for Newcastle tomorrow...
does anyone else agree that it's maybe a good move for England to see Owen in a 4-4-2 with Dyer backing him up (when fit)for a repeat of some previous successful English tactics?
...or shall i just get back to talking about Robocop in the dangerous insertions thread?

I should make the most of it, before he starts the long crawl back to Liverpool on his hands and knees begging to be re-signed!
Quote by Happy Cats
seeing as though there seems to be a distinct lack of testosterone in here.. i thought i'd help out.
So, i'm off to see Michael Owen make his debut for Newcastle tomorrow...
does anyone else agree that it's maybe a good move for England to see Owen in a 4-4-2 with Dyer backing him up (when fit)for a repeat of some previous successful English tactics?
...or shall i just get back to talking about Robocop in the dangerous insertions thread?

I should make the most of it, before he starts the long crawl back to Liverpool on his hands and knees begging to be re-signed!
yeah right... in a 4-5-1 that has no room for him and with a manager that obviously doesn;t want him!
Quote by fluffer
seeing as though there seems to be a distinct lack of testosterone in here.. i thought i'd help out.
So, i'm off to see Michael Owen make his debut for Newcastle tomorrow...
does anyone else agree that it's maybe a good move for England to see Owen in a 4-4-2 with Dyer backing him up (when fit)for a repeat of some previous successful English tactics?
...or shall i just get back to talking about Robocop in the dangerous insertions thread?

I should make the most of it, before he starts the long crawl back to Liverpool on his hands and knees begging to be re-signed!
yeah right... in a 4-5-1 that has no room for him and with a manager that obviously doesn;t want him!
Wont stop him crawling back and begging! And we shall say "Oi No! We admire your scoring record and youre devotion to us, but we've got Peter Crouch!"
Quote by fluffer
seeing as though there seems to be a distinct lack of testosterone in here.. i thought i'd help out.
So, i'm off to see Michael Owen make his debut for Newcastle tomorrow...
does anyone else agree that it's maybe a good move for England to see Owen in a 4-4-2 with Dyer backing him up (when fit)for a repeat of some previous successful English tactics?
...or shall i just get back to talking about Robocop in the dangerous insertions thread?

shouldn't that be spelt D-I-R-E dunno
won't he be too busy handbagging with Lee 'Pretty Boy' Bowyer
Quote by Happy Cats
seeing as though there seems to be a distinct lack of testosterone in here.. i thought i'd help out.
So, i'm off to see Michael Owen make his debut for Newcastle tomorrow...
does anyone else agree that it's maybe a good move for England to see Owen in a 4-4-2 with Dyer backing him up (when fit)for a repeat of some previous successful English tactics?
...or shall i just get back to talking about Robocop in the dangerous insertions thread?

I should make the most of it, before he starts the long crawl back to Liverpool on his hands and knees begging to be re-signed!
yeah right... in a 4-5-1 that has no room for him and with a manager that obviously doesn;t want him!
Wont stop him crawling back and begging! And we shall say "Oi No! We admire your scoring record and youre devotion to us, but we've got Peter Crouch!"
Crouch, yes. £7m. Hope that works out for you. So far so good eh?... we'll at least in the same vein as recent Liverpool strikers to set the field alight anyway....
Crouch still just doesn't look right in a LFC shirt! I don't know why.
ah yes... mr. bowyer. hands up to that one. what a calamity that was eh? but at least i can always give him 10 out of 10 for effort on the pitch... as i can say for Dyer too. Dyer, when played on the right wing has been outstanding, leaving defenders for dead.. but im really looking forward to seeing him play a central midfield pushing through with his pace and providing the exact kind of ball that Owen feeds off.
well, that is when his hamstring ever gets better... it seems to be the curse of NUFC for the last few seasons.
Quote by fluffer
ah yes... mr. bowyer. hands up to that one. what a calamity that was eh? but at least i can always give him 10 out of 10 for effort on the pitch... as i can say for Dyer too. Dyer, when played on the right wing has been outstanding, leaving defenders for dead.. but im really looking forward to seeing him play a central midfield pushing through with his pace and providing the exact kind of ball that Owen feeds off.
well, that is when his hamstring ever gets better... it seems to be the curse of NUFC for the last few seasons.

That and crap managers, a crap board and a crap team!
wink
Quote by fluffer
ah yes... mr. bowyer. hands up to that one. what a calamity that was eh? but at least i can always give him 10 out of 10 for effort on the pitch... as i can say for Dyer too. Dyer, when played on the right wing has been outstanding, leaving defenders for dead.. but im really looking forward to seeing him play a central midfield pushing through with his pace and providing the exact kind of ball that Owen feeds off.
well, that is when his hamstring ever gets better... it seems to be the curse of NUFC for the last few seasons.

bloody hell fluff, we've set you off on one now :doh:
i guess you have a season ticket dunno
Quote by fluffer
ah yes... mr. bowyer. hands up to that one. what a calamity that was eh? but at least i can always give him 10 out of 10 for effort on the pitch... as i can say for Dyer too. Dyer, when played on the right wing has been outstanding, leaving defenders for dead.. but im really looking forward to seeing him play a central midfield pushing through with his pace and providing the exact kind of ball that Owen feeds off.
well, that is when his hamstring ever gets better... it seems to be the curse of NUFC for the last few seasons.

A woman that CAN talk football... blimey...... get yer coat!!!
Mornin all (yawn)
Whats for breckie? ................... :scared: look at the time, and I'm on here again......
I so need to get a life rolleyes
Anyone know how the cricket is going? ........... (who's used all the milk again)
Quote by Happy Cats
ah yes... mr. bowyer. hands up to that one. what a calamity that was eh? but at least i can always give him 10 out of 10 for effort on the pitch... as i can say for Dyer too. Dyer, when played on the right wing has been outstanding, leaving defenders for dead.. but im really looking forward to seeing him play a central midfield pushing through with his pace and providing the exact kind of ball that Owen feeds off.
well, that is when his hamstring ever gets better... it seems to be the curse of NUFC for the last few seasons.

That and crap managers, a crap board and a crap team!
wink
Crap managers...yes, crap board... yes, crap team?
Great looking midfield now, attack not looking too dodgy either... defence...mmm like a leaky sieve!
You can't be a Newcastle supporter and be accused of being a glory hunter can you!
Mind you... summer signings of Parker, Emre, Luque, Owen and Solano are looking pretty good.
Newcastle upon Tyne 4 - Liverpool 0
(snatched Parker and Emre from Everton's grasp, and Owen and Solano from Liverpool's)
so remind me...who did you sign over Summer again? ah yes, Crouch.
:wink:
(am i doing this blokey thing right? How long before I get kicked out of here?)
So fluff, how did he do.... Owen I mean.... didn't score did he, and 1-1 at home to Fulham, well I guess it's a start isn't it :thumbup:
hope she doesn't remember who I support