glad i'm an atheist or i'd think that god must hate me!

27 Oct 2004

brace yourselves guys, this is a very, very, very, sad story, if ever there was one!
picture the scene if you will . . . .
what passes for autumn sunlight streams in through neilinleeds window, tits and finches crowd the apple tree below neilinleeds window, and give full voice to their morning chorus, the central heating that neilinleeds played no small part in installing last week is merrily pumping away, and so neilinleeds awakens, slowly opens his eyes, stretches, yawns, has a bit of a scratch, and briefly thinks about going back to sleep . . . . that last dream was rather good. maybe he can drift back into it and pick up where he left off . . . .
it's only 3 more sleeps to the munch! remembers neilinleeds, and suddenly all thoughts of sleep are replaced by a mounting excitement, so neilinleeds rouses himself from his slumbers, and toddles off to make a nice cup of tea . . . .
neilinleeds comes back to his bed, still warm and inviting, and slides back under the quilt while he logs in and reads a couple of threads while he has his morning fag with his cuppa . . . . and coughs a bit for a while. rolleyes

it's still early. there's not much been added to SH since the early hours of the previous night, so fully refreshed, neilinleeds takes himself off for his morning shower. splish splash, splish splash merrily in the shower, shampoo, soapy stuff, washing bits and bobs, having a little dance in the shower to some new U2 song, quite good it is too . . . . all is well with the world! biggrin

out of the shower, briskly towels off, singing some new song by somebody or other, he didn't catch who it's by, brushes teeth, finds razor, discards razor and finds one his sister hasn't left blunted and coated with god knows what, finds the menthol king of shaves stuff, lathers up, turns towards the mirror . . . . . .
oooo that's a bit tender thinks neilinleeds. stings a bit today. what's going on 'ere then? dunno

best have a look thinks neil.
:shock:
WTF is that!
:eeek:
. . . . . . .
neil . . . it's a . . .
STFU!
no but neil . . .
you feckin' feckin' bleedin' bastard WTF is that . . . .
i'm trying to tell you neil it's . . . . .
aaarrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! :mad:
you absolute feckin' bastardin' bollockin' bastard bastard bastard! :mad: :mad: :mad:
that's a cold sore neil!
yes neil i know it's a bleedin' coldsore! :mad:
but neil it's 3 days to the munch!
yes neil i know it's 3 days to the munch why do you think i was bloody dancing in the shower? :mad:
but that means you can't . . .
neil if you don't feckin' shurrup up right now, i'm gonna lose me temper!
but neil . . . . .
ggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!
neilinleeds is very angry for a bit. :mad:
then he gets a bit sad. sad

:(
then he has a little *sniff*
and breaks down into uncontrollable weeping and sobbing about the snogs he's not allowed anymore . . . . . :cry: :cry: :cry:
see, i told you it was a sad story didn't i?
*sobs*
n x x x x x x ;)

27 Oct 2004

awwwwwwwww Neil sad

Natural remedy posted a few days ago on the Insomnia thread otherwise get yourself to the chemist for zovirax mate ....
:cry: saddest story I ever heard (christ that sounded like an eeyore)

27 Oct 2004

SHIT!!
BTW, you have tits in your tree and you know all the words to new songs? I think your life is exciting enough without snogging loads of SH-ers!

27 Oct 2004

AWW but it doesn't stop u from :wanker: hump

..now does it.... dunno

..u don't use your mouth for those things wink

27 Oct 2004

oooooooooooo Neil.......sorry babes to here that............you want to do what i am................and ware a mask! rolleyes

27 Oct 2004

and to make it worse, its not just snogging you cant do, seeing as cold sores and herpes come hand in hand.
Unlucky dude, thought i'd push the knife in deeper.
Anyone got any salt for the wound..........

27 Oct 2004

awww Neil... you poor thing... and you were first on my list!!! passionkiss

Sorry is that rubbing it in a bit?
Think of it this way..... at least no-ones gonna nick your drink!!!!! lol

27 Oct 2004

Awwwwwwwwwww Neil :therethere: :therethere: :therethere:
Here stick one of these plasters on it

Now don't go off on one, I'm thinking about you here!!! rolleyes

Just think how handsome you will look against the ugly bug plaster - you'll be bluddy gorgeous I can tell ya :hunk:
Not to mention looking dead tuff cos you can tell people it's a tattoo on yer face :hunk:

27 Oct 2004

Quote by londonsnglmale
and to make it worse, its not just snogging you cant do, seeing as cold sores and herpes come hand in hand.
Unlucky dude, thought i'd push the knife in deeper.
Anyone got any salt for the wound..........

:laughabove:
I think this is exactly what he was worried about!
Follow Calista's sound advice Neil ASAP and all may not be lost! If it is then you get to have Missy tend to you with some rather cool plasters. Things could be much worse! lol

27 Oct 2004

Neilinleeds that's just so sad, I nearly cried.
(well I did cry, but it was with lsughter)

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

27 Oct 2004

Neil run to the shop and but some blistex,its bloody fantastic,just slap loads of it on and it'll be gone by saturday i promise,(i think)
Sorry but

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

27 Oct 2004

so you've got a face thats starting to look like a half empty bowl of soggy cornflakes, sounds as though your out of action for ohhh...a fortnight or more. These things can spread you know first the corner of your mouth next thing all over your body ....it's true I'm telling ya....munch anxiety has brought the damn thing on.......garuantee if your due to go out then a bloody big spot or sore is bound to appear....seem to remember misschief started to cultivate another nose before the last munch..

27 Oct 2004

Awwwwwwwww neil hunny so sad sad

Just one thing who have ya been kissing? lmao

27 Oct 2004

Neil me old tentpeg I am so sorry mate :cry:
but its like this yer flucked confused

27 Oct 2004

But Neil, look at it this way....you can still receive :spit: but you just cant give!!
Problem solved, you will just have to give them an IOU.
xxx

27 Oct 2004

This seems as if it will be a classic example of murphys law.
And just incase i got it wrong and people can correct me, or incase you dont know they are thus;
Murphys 1st Law:
If it can happen it will happen
Murphys 2nd Law:
The first law always applies
a.k.a. Sods Law

27 Oct 2004

Oh Neil my heart goes out to you,it honestly does...............................well actually it doesnt

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
If you'd like to pass on to me your list of females to snog on Saturday i'll gladly fill your shoes :twisted: lol

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

27 Oct 2004

first on the list thanks! ;)

27 Oct 2004

oi you lot! :mad:
glad to see soooooooo bloody much sympathy i can tell yer! i mean i'd be really upset if any of you started takin' the bleedin' piss wouldn't i!
*humph*
you carry on, don't mind me. not bothered anyways! i'll just sit in me corner hiding me face and sighing all night. didn't even want any snogs of yers, so there! :P
neilinleeds sad

27 Oct 2004

Quote by fem_manc-cpl
first on the list thanks! ;)

You'll have to get there early then wink

:twisted:
BTW should i describe to you after each individual one

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:

27 Oct 2004

:therethere:
That is such a shame for all those lovely ladies that would have been in a queue to snog you.
All is not lost neil.
The girls won't be too disappointed as you have many male friends that are willing to step in for you lol

You can stop beating yourself up about it now wink

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Hugs and..........er hugs to you smile

Gill x

27 Oct 2004

Quote by neilinleeds
oi you lot! :mad:
glad to see soooooooo bloody much sympathy i can tell yer! i mean i'd be really upset if any of you started takin' the bleedin' piss wouldn't i!
*humph*
you carry on, don't mind me. not bothered anyways! i'll just sit in me corner hiding me face and sighing all night. didn't even want any snogs of yers, so there! :P
neilinleeds

awww there there poor lamb........ :therethere:
Right, seen as neil can't play and now no longer wants to play, who is going to keep me warm that night? :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
lol

27 Oct 2004

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW........neil kiss

my son suffers from them all the time and I find Boots dual action cold sore lotion really works for him and it's not as expensive as other brands..........
I also found that whenever my ex-hubby had them and I kissed him I never caught them ...of course thats when we were young and in love and I'd kiss him whatever as we got older and near divorce it was any excuse not to kiss him...so I may not be immune to them anymore :shock: :shock:
lol

:lol: :lol: :lol:

27 Oct 2004

i know i shouldn't but
:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:
just had to do that biggrin

27 Oct 2004

oi neil, is it looking like this yet?eeeeewwwww
On the upside neil, at least it should be cleared up by the time we meet again :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: hope i have managed to cheer you up hunni
Gill x

27 Oct 2004

Wait a minute - wait a minute...
People who already play host to the monster virus can still snog you, can't they? Just ask around.....
Jezzay

27 Oct 2004

Quote by fem-manc
Right, seen as neil can't play and now no longer wants to play, who is going to keep me warm that night?

We'd be more than happy to oblige hun....... purely out of the goodness of our hearts and not for any sordid perverted reasons.... honest!!! :twisted: :twisted:

27 Oct 2004

Quote by jezzay
Wait a minute - wait a minute...
People who already play host to the monster virus can still snog you, can't they? Just ask around.....
Jezzay

This is in fact true (host here) ..... but no matter how much I love Neil to bits I still don't think he's worth the agony of a coldsore :shock:
Sorry Neil .... lol

27 Oct 2004

Any bloody excuse lol

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Jas
XXX

27 Oct 2004

Quote by xxdevil69
Right, seen as neil can't play and now no longer wants to play, who is going to keep me warm that night?

We'd be more than happy to oblige hun....... purely out of the goodness of our hearts and not for any sordid perverted reasons.... honest!!! :twisted: :twisted:
Oooo, now he will be soooo sorry he has a coldsore!