We have come to learn just recently how powerful gossip is. It has without a doubt ruined some peoples careers who are in the public eye. But surely fter all, surely thats all it is when it is all one sided? But why do we enjoy it so much? Why does it have to be done publicly? And what is the meaning behind it?
Is it to make someone else feel better or worse depending on the type of gossip that is going on? or Is it to get attention?
I mean this in all aspects of life, not just on the swinging scene, we read "gossip" in the news papers and magazines all the while. Or you go to work and have some one say to you "have you heard about what joe bloggs did at the weekend" etc etc
Does anyone ever stop and think how this so called gossip can impact on somebodies life? After all 9 times outta 10 the full story is never told. Or at least both sides of it.
For instance, if i saw a friend, be it swinging friend or vanilla friend in the street, and told them what i was going to be doing at the weekend, does that give them the right to tell our mutual friends what i am going to be up to? More to the point why would you need to do so?(this happened to us a cpl of weeks ago and although it wasnt a secret, we struggle to see the reasoning behind why the infomation was passed on to a third party)
Then this afternoon we had a visit from a friend, and was telling us stuff about people that we all know(the 3 of us that is) and even though there was no need for him to sit and tell us, he sat there happily gossiping away about these people who are none the wiser the convosation ever took place.
Surely it should be down to us who we choose to tell about certain aspects of our lifes? And if they do go on and tell other people are they true friends, or people who are just not worth worrying about.
Whats you veiw on gossip? do you try to stay clear? or Do you listen to gossip but tend not to join in? or do you try to avoid it at all costs?
Please note i hope this thread makes some sort of sense, will edit it no doubt if i have caused any confussion.
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Gossip and the power of it
Warming the Bed
I have always held the belief that thoose who hold gossip so dear do so because they lack a fullfilling life of their own..
Yes it does make sense!
Gossip is a tool that can be sometimes used to hurt others intentionally, and sometimes just a means to laugh at someones expense!
Gossip that is NOT true, and just someone elses take on someone elses business is bad at all times!
I have seen someone totally distroyed by other peoples continued gossip, and all untruths as well, as they were never privvy to all the true facts!
I think it is best to stay away from anything verging on malicious gossip, and personally have got to the stage that I will personally ask someone to stop speaking in that way!
Chit-chat is another matter, and a fine line may be drawn between the two!
Some say, if you are not being talked about, you are not interesting!
Lucys post.
Gossip is a tool that can be sometimes used to hurt others intentionally, and sometimes just a means to laugh at someones expense!
Gossip that is NOT true, and just someone elses take on someone elses business is bad at all times!
I have seen someone totally distroyed by other peoples continued gossip, and all untruths as well, as they were never privvy to all the true facts!
I think it is best to stay away from anything verging on malicious gossip, and personally have got to the stage that I will personally ask someone to stop speaking in that way!
Chit-chat is another matter, and a fine line may be drawn between the two!
Some say, if you are not being talked about, you are not interesting!
Lucys post.
Quote by Lucyandmike7
Yes it does make sense!
Gossip is a tool that can be sometimes used to hurt others intentionally, and sometimes just a means to laugh at someones expense!
Gossip that is NOT true, and just someone elses take on someone elses business is bad at all times!
I have seen someone totally distroyed by other peoples continued gossip, and all untruths as well, as they were never privvy to all the true facts!
I think it is best to stay away from anything verging on malicious gossip, and personally have got to the stage that I will personally ask someone to stop speaking in that way!
Chit-chat is another matter, and a fine line may be drawn between the two!
Some say, if you are not being talked about, you are not interesting!
Lucys post.
Great post lucy, and have to say i couldnt agree with you more, i am a true believer that there are 2 sides to every story, its jus a shame at times that not everybody remembers that, or if they do, are jus not interested in the 2nd side of it
I think to a degree all people can gossip (if gossip is talking about others that are not present) If the chat is with malicious intent or general chit chat, to me would be the over riding factor.
You can have conversations whereby no names need to be passed on but information shared could help others then I can not see it being a problem.
If names are named with malicious undertones, that would make me very weary of the person talking, I would wonder what they have said about me behind my back.
In these situations I tend to keep my ears and eyes open but my mouth shut and keep whatever I have heard to myself, I wouldn’t encourage such a conversation and feel very uncomfortable when others have lead one.
You can have conversations whereby no names need to be passed on but information shared could help others then I can not see it being a problem.
If names are named with malicious undertones, that would make me very weary of the person talking, I would wonder what they have said about me behind my back.
In these situations I tend to keep my ears and eyes open but my mouth shut and keep whatever I have heard to myself, I wouldn’t encourage such a conversation and feel very uncomfortable when others have lead one.
"gossip"is just the way information is passed,We all do it but only consider it "gossip" when its about ourselves. TBH its not somthing i worry about,i always hope sufficient people know me well enough,to judge the facts fairly and if they need to,come ask me if its true or not.
if one person thinks somone is bad,its just their opinion,if a lot of people think the same,then their may be some truth in it.
We take what we know and listen to people we trust.
Then form our opinions.
if one person thinks somone is bad,its just their opinion,if a lot of people think the same,then their may be some truth in it.
We take what we know and listen to people we trust.
Then form our opinions.
Sex God
Quote by Sandybeach1
there is a saying that goes
"if they are talking behind your back it means you are 10 paces ahead"
I like that one! My thoughts? If they're talking about me, they're leaving some other bugger alone who cares what they might be saying.
Sex God
Quote by Freckledbird
there is a saying that goes
"if they are talking behind your back it means you are 10 paces ahead"
I like that one! My thoughts? If they're talking about me, they're leaving some other bugger alone who cares what they might be saying.
I like that too
Personally I have enough going on in my life that I don't really have time for gossip etc.
People who feel the need to gossip about me are welcome to do so, but I do feel slightly sorry for them if they have so little in their lives that they have to discuss my business with others.
Sex God
While I agree that thoughtlessly shared gossip can be very damaging - if I didn't want others to know something I had told someone, I would either tell them so or not tell them at all.
There are some subjects which most people would agree are private without having to be told, and some details would always be held back unless the teller said it was ok - like actual cause of death of a close relative for instance. But apart from that most of our lives are pretty public anyway.
There is such a worry about 'privacy' in the world right now that there seems to be an assumption that information should be secret unless we expressly release it for public knowledge. I feel it is actually the other way round.
If I pass on a funny happening from work onto here (rarely the other way round for some reason LOL) I never give enough personal info for anyone to have a hope of identifying the people involved.
Maybe that's the difference - an anecdote is passed on without identifying anyone, gossip allows you to know who is involved.
We each have our own limits, and I really feel that so long as we make our limits of exposure known, they should be respected.
There are some subjects which most people would agree are private without having to be told, and some details would always be held back unless the teller said it was ok - like actual cause of death of a close relative for instance. But apart from that most of our lives are pretty public anyway.
There is such a worry about 'privacy' in the world right now that there seems to be an assumption that information should be secret unless we expressly release it for public knowledge. I feel it is actually the other way round.
If I pass on a funny happening from work onto here (rarely the other way round for some reason LOL) I never give enough personal info for anyone to have a hope of identifying the people involved.
Maybe that's the difference - an anecdote is passed on without identifying anyone, gossip allows you to know who is involved.
We each have our own limits, and I really feel that so long as we make our limits of exposure known, they should be respected.
Sexpert
In the vanila world a person I know adds lies into her gossip. I think she gossips to make herself feel better than the other people that she knows, its sad that she needs to do it. I take everything she says with a pinch of salt and try not to see her very often.
I know she will be talking behined my back just the same way she talks about others. Its not a nice feeling.
I know she will be talking behined my back just the same way she talks about others. Its not a nice feeling.
Quote by hell1970
<snip>
Does anyone ever stop and think how this so called gossip can impact on somebodies life? After all 9 times outta 10 the full story is never told. Or at least both sides of it.<snip>
After being on the receiving end of it and seeing a good friendship ruined as a result, I couldn't agree more. Sadly people will always take sides despite hearing all the facts. That's when you discover their true nature and not the public persona that most others see
Sex God
i do love to know the gossip but first hand not second or third thats just tittle tattle and u don't get the facts and i never pass on the gossip i think i'm just nosey n like to know everyones buisness so not sure now if that is gossip does it only become gossip if i was to pass it on?
i just love bein the one that knows
love it even more if someone then asks if i know anything about it and i can say no not got a clue whilst smuggly knowing i know the facts
although do find it hard to keep trap shut when i'm being told bout someone else and i know they have all the facts wrong but still don't spill i prefer to say no that doesn't sound right might b best you check the facts before you tell anyone else
have been known to talk about situations not mentioning names and only when i am sure i could not be giving identities away but only if i think it will hepl other parties with a dilema they are having, does that count as gossiping??
i just love bein the one that knows
love it even more if someone then asks if i know anything about it and i can say no not got a clue whilst smuggly knowing i know the factsalthough do find it hard to keep trap shut when i'm being told bout someone else and i know they have all the facts wrong but still don't spill i prefer to say no that doesn't sound right might b best you check the facts before you tell anyone else
have been known to talk about situations not mentioning names and only when i am sure i could not be giving identities away but only if i think it will hepl other parties with a dilema they are having, does that count as gossiping??
Quote by hell1970
We have come to learn just recently how powerful gossip is. It has without a doubt ruined some peoples careers who are in the public eye. But surely fter all, surely thats all it is when it is all one sided? But why do we enjoy it so much? Why does it have to be done publicly? And what is the meaning behind it?
Is it to make someone else feel better or worse depending on the type of gossip that is going on? or Is it to get attention?
I mean this in all aspects of life, not just on the swinging scene, we read "gossip" in the news papers and magazines all the while. Or you go to work and have some one say to you "have you heard about what joe bloggs did at the weekend" etc etc
Does anyone ever stop and think how this so called gossip can impact on somebodies life? After all 9 times outta 10 the full story is never told. Or at least both sides of it.
For instance, if i saw a friend, be it swinging friend or vanilla friend in the street, and told them what i was going to be doing at the weekend, does that give them the right to tell our mutual friends what i am going to be up to? More to the point why would you need to do so?(this happened to us a cpl of weeks ago and although it wasnt a secret, we struggle to see the reasoning behind why the infomation was passed on to a third party)
Then this afternoon we had a visit from a friend, and was telling us stuff about people that we all know(the 3 of us that is) and even though there was no need for him to sit and tell us, he sat there happily gossiping away about these people who are none the wiser the convosation ever took place.
Surely it should be down to us who we choose to tell about certain aspects of our lifes? And if they do go on and tell other people are they true friends, or people who are just not worth worrying about.
Whats you veiw on gossip? do you try to stay clear? or Do you listen to gossip but tend not to join in? or do you try to avoid it at all costs?
Please note i hope this thread makes some sort of sense, will edit it no doubt if i have caused any confussion.
gossip and crass comments on here ??????? never
??
Quote by Sassy-Seren
<snip>
Does anyone ever stop and think how this so called gossip can impact on somebodies life? After all 9 times outta 10 the full story is never told. Or at least both sides of it.<snip>
After being on the receiving end of it and seeing a good friendship ruined as a result, I couldn't agree more. Sadly people will always take sides despite hearing all the facts. That's when you discover their true nature and not the public persona that most others see
With ya on that one!!
Gossip can be extremely destructive and have quite an impact on peoples lives. Some thrive on listening to it, others thrive on passing it on!
Mind you - I do like a good ole chinwag me self!
:? 