Since I was requested to start such a zone.... after a mild rant in chat...
Let me first get a few things off my chest:
1) Do NOT put "Genuine Couple" on your profile.
The notion of saying you're genuine doesn't mean you are. So don't bother.
2) Why put "No Time Wasters" on a profile?
I can hear the huge sigh of disappointment amongst the time wasting community as they whisper "dammit, that rules us out then"
3) Do not say "Attractive couple"
That is for OTHERS to decide you big heads!
4) Do not come on cam with the cam pointing at your tits and you playfully keep most of the buttons undone... and then complain when men say "nice tits"
5) Don't whinge about how you're going to 'leave' the site.
If you're gonna do it, do it, but don't tell an entire chatroom in the hope folks will notice your attempt to gain some attention
Right, that's my little rant over with. I will be back shortly!
Please feel free to add rants of your own (without prejudice) !
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Grumpy Old Men (and women) Zone
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Oh, and another thing...
Don't come in chat giving the entire world a rerun of your personal meet with someone else....
It starts to look like you're treating the others as a trophy and that you need everybody to notice that you met up.
It's the sort of thing a teenage boy does smelling his finger in front of his mates.
Don't come in chat giving the entire world a rerun of your personal meet with someone else....
It starts to look like you're treating the others as a trophy and that you need everybody to notice that you met up.
It's the sort of thing a teenage boy does smelling his finger in front of his mates.
People without pics or text on profile...all they have is list of activities which doesnt ness say what one is looking for!!! An adding to that, ppl who put "would love to meet up" on said profile.....ffs, get a life!!!
and my main one is Cock-Cams...I mean wtf?? Unless one has an unusually size member then whats the point???
Thats mine for now.....no doubt i shall return!!
and my main one is Cock-Cams...I mean wtf?? Unless one has an unusually size member then whats the point???
Thats mine for now.....no doubt i shall return!!
Orgasminator
lol, i've almost wet myself with laughter!
do continue...
do continue...
oh and men...
We get the fact that you're tall, or that you drive a beamer, or that you've paid for a posh holiday, or are on a business trip.
You don't have to grab every chat opportunity to make a show of it.
Nicelady: Hello Mr Show Off, are you well?
Mr Show Off: Hi Nicelady, you look stunning, love your profile pics, I'm well thank, just so tired having just parked my BMW outside the executive lounge of my intercontinental trip to New York on important business, where I had to pay for first class to get seats to accommodate my 6'7 manly frame.
Rest Of Room whispers: Wanker
We get the fact that you're tall, or that you drive a beamer, or that you've paid for a posh holiday, or are on a business trip.
You don't have to grab every chat opportunity to make a show of it.
Nicelady: Hello Mr Show Off, are you well?
Mr Show Off: Hi Nicelady, you look stunning, love your profile pics, I'm well thank, just so tired having just parked my BMW outside the executive lounge of my intercontinental trip to New York on important business, where I had to pay for first class to get seats to accommodate my 6'7 manly frame.
Rest Of Room whispers: Wanker
And men pretending to be women/couples...
PLEASE try to be convincing at least.
Some tips for you:
Don't forget to keep using the term "Us" when you're chatting a woman up... only it seems as soon as you get hard, you keep saying "I".
Don't call yourself "Lez". How many lesbians do you know who actually use that term? And how many of your MALE mates use it? Use your brain dickhead.
Try not to tell whoever you're chatting up that "You're wet" within 3 minutes of chatting to them.
I have never met a woman in my life who blurted that out shortly after pestering you with umpteen uninvited whispers.
If you are going to steal some images, don't friggin use video caps with the damn scan lines showing on the image. And don't nick ones that look like they've come from a California porn set. How many Bi Fems from Grimsby do you know who drape themselves over a Ferrari overlooking Santa Monica beach?
PLEASE try to be convincing at least.
Some tips for you:
Don't forget to keep using the term "Us" when you're chatting a woman up... only it seems as soon as you get hard, you keep saying "I".
Don't call yourself "Lez". How many lesbians do you know who actually use that term? And how many of your MALE mates use it? Use your brain dickhead.
Try not to tell whoever you're chatting up that "You're wet" within 3 minutes of chatting to them.
I have never met a woman in my life who blurted that out shortly after pestering you with umpteen uninvited whispers.
If you are going to steal some images, don't friggin use video caps with the damn scan lines showing on the image. And don't nick ones that look like they've come from a California porn set. How many Bi Fems from Grimsby do you know who drape themselves over a Ferrari overlooking Santa Monica beach?
And cock shot males...
We are all grown up now, we've all had a look at other men's willies and measured etc...
Please don't try shoving your balls so far down that you're clearly in pain in order to make your penis look longer. It just looks like you're shoving your balls so far down you're in pain to make your willy look longer.
And don't hold a beer bottle next to it either. We can see you're holding the bottle in a funny way to start with, and it just looks fucking pathetic that you'd try to compare it that way
And Mr 9 Inch.... I don't care if you ARE on cam. It's still not 9 inches you bloody moron. You're the worst of the worst trying to double bluff your way into having folks really believe it is. And you can stop that crappy holding technique to make it look thicker than it is too.
We are all grown up now, we've all had a look at other men's willies and measured etc...
Please don't try shoving your balls so far down that you're clearly in pain in order to make your penis look longer. It just looks like you're shoving your balls so far down you're in pain to make your willy look longer.
And don't hold a beer bottle next to it either. We can see you're holding the bottle in a funny way to start with, and it just looks fucking pathetic that you'd try to compare it that way
And Mr 9 Inch.... I don't care if you ARE on cam. It's still not 9 inches you bloody moron. You're the worst of the worst trying to double bluff your way into having folks really believe it is. And you can stop that crappy holding technique to make it look thicker than it is too.
Orgasminator
Quote by TheAnalogKid
And men pretending to be
Don't call yourself "Lez". How many lesbians do you know who actually use that term? And how many of your MALE mates use it? Use your brain dickhead.
Amen!
Now ladies, some of you are no better...
Please try to remember not to be a bunny boiler on MSN.
I recently took a THREE minute toilet break in the middle of an MSN chat, and this is what I returned to:
AK: BRB, just need the loo
Varca: OK babe, hb
Varca: Are you back yet?
Varca: I know you're there
Varca: Are you chatting to somebody else, only I can go if you want me to.
Varca: Why are you ignoring me?
Varca: Look, I get the picture, you just need to tell me where I stand.
Varca: You really are a bastard you know
Varca: I know you're reading this.
Varca: Fine, I'm going to delete and block you
Varca: This is your last chance
Varca: Very last chance
AK: Back
Varca: Ignore what I've typed I was just upset
Please try to remember not to be a bunny boiler on MSN.
I recently took a THREE minute toilet break in the middle of an MSN chat, and this is what I returned to:
AK: BRB, just need the loo
Varca: OK babe, hb
Varca: Are you back yet?
Varca: I know you're there
Varca: Are you chatting to somebody else, only I can go if you want me to.
Varca: Why are you ignoring me?
Varca: Look, I get the picture, you just need to tell me where I stand.
Varca: You really are a bastard you know
Varca: I know you're reading this.
Varca: Fine, I'm going to delete and block you
Varca: This is your last chance
Varca: Very last chance
AK: Back
Varca: Ignore what I've typed I was just upset
Quote by TheAnalogKid
Now ladies, some of you are no better...
Please try to remember not to be a bunny boiler on MSN.
I recently took a THREE minute toilet break in the middle of an MSN chat, and this is what I returned to:
AK: BRB, just need the loo
Varca: OK babe, hb
Varca: Are you back yet?
Varca: I know you're there
Varca: Are you chatting to somebody else, only I can go if you want me to.
Varca: Why are you ignoring me?
Varca: Look, I get the picture, you just need to tell me where I stand.
Varca: You really are a bastard you know
Varca: I know you're reading this.
Varca: Fine, I'm going to delete and block you
Varca: This is your last chance
Varca: Very last chance
AK: Back
Varca: Ignore what I've typed I was just upset
You said you'd never tell anyone!! PAh!!!
in chat and just as bad it seems in here. 
Sex God
Quote by TheAnalogKid
I recently took a THREE minute toilet break in the middle of an MSN chat, and this is what I returned to:
AK: BRB, just need the loo
Varca: OK babe, hb
Varca: Are you back yet?
Varca: I know you're there
Varca: Are you chatting to somebody else, only I can go if you want me to.
Varca: Why are you ignoring me?
Varca: Look, I get the picture, you just need to tell me where I stand.
Varca: You really are a bastard you know
Varca: I know you're reading this.
Varca: Fine, I'm going to delete and block you
Varca: This is your last chance
Varca: Very last chance
AK: Back
Varca: Ignore what I've typed I was just upset
Shurrup whinging, at least she managed to log on and speak to you more than once per year, not that i'm upset but..... she doesn't call, she doesn't write, she hasn't sent me any really, really disgustingly pervy naked photos of herself (for a while) and to be fair, if you were only 3 minutes that wasn't really that much chatting for Varca, 3 minutes is generally enough for a full life history, the complete programme listings from the radio times and an extra long bedtime story.....unless she's in a chatty mood.
I'll shut up now in case she reads this
Sex God
Quote by varca
You forgot that I can recite war and peace in that timeframe too silly
:giggle:
3 minutes seems to be a common occurance for you this week
Sex God
Quote by varca
You forgot that I can recite war and peace in that timeframe too silly
:giggle:
3 minutes seems to be a common occurance for you this week
Gawd and I only just sent you my latest nekkid pic :roll: :lol2:
I have told you before Mr Pleaseu that you really need to see a doc about that premature ejaculation problem :lol2: Hmmm I think there's a thread somewhere around here that might help :grin:
Urrrgh, that was you? Naked? :scared: I thought you'd sent me a picture of an accident in a sausage factory :rude:
and whats wrong with the timeframe of my ejaculations? i've worked for many hours :wanker: to get it down to 3 minutes, i'm hoping to break the barrier by late August.
Do you fancy giving me a hand with that? :rascal:
Sex God
Quote by varca
Welll seeing as it's you and for a good cause I will consider it. Just don't forget to credit me when you are listed in the Guiness Book of Records k? :lol2:
Are you sure it's only a hand you need? :rascal: I think they measure such things 3 times daily, may have to vary the vehicle *cough* :rascal:
well, you seem more of a expert on the subject than me
(filthy trollop!
)
Sex God
u forgot the cpl looking for a bi fem no men one
for wife no single men bi fem only ,,,,
oh n hubby wants to shag u as well,,,,,,,,,,,,,
wtf..................
for wife no single men bi fem only ,,,,
oh n hubby wants to shag u as well,,,,,,,,,,,,,
wtf..................
I'm in a far better mood this morning, but that shouldn't stop me mentioning this....
Guys, STOP using that bloody phrase "Maybe we could meet up sometime" after 3 minutes of chatting and discovering someone is within traveling distance.
Have you any idea how often a woman (she only really has to be breathing to get offers, and even then, that's optional for some men) gets asked to meet up?
Wouldn't it be nice for a change if you just chatted and left her feeling impressed but never pressurised, or pestered?
Sometimes it's what you don't do that has more effect that what you do do.
Guys, STOP using that bloody phrase "Maybe we could meet up sometime" after 3 minutes of chatting and discovering someone is within traveling distance.
Have you any idea how often a woman (she only really has to be breathing to get offers, and even then, that's optional for some men) gets asked to meet up?
Wouldn't it be nice for a change if you just chatted and left her feeling impressed but never pressurised, or pestered?
Sometimes it's what you don't do that has more effect that what you do do.
Far be it from me to criticise...
but I will anyway.
Who the bloody hell wants to meet some total random stranger from the net 'tonight' without any hint of who / what they are, or where they've been?
I personally would worry about someone SO desperate for a shag that they needed 'anybody' tonight, or would drive miles and miles to meet up with such a person.
I suppose, both sides of the party deserve each other, but let's be honest here...
If you're willing to have sex with someone that easily, then you're also likely to attract someone of the same ilk.
Who did you sleep with the night before? and who will it be the night after?
You really are gambling with your health... your chances of catching something aren't just increased a little bit...it's massively increased. Clearly swingers tend to have a few partners, but the kind of folks willing to shag at the drop of a hat will have had PLENTY, and the kinds of folks willing to meet those people will have PLENTY also.
Perhaps it's horny to think of shagging a stranger, I can see that... but I'm gonna stick to my guns and claim it's lunacy too.
Oh, and couples... if you are online at 2am in the morning begging for someone to join you, 'm sorry but there's something wrong in your relationship. If you can't make do with each other, what's that telling you?
*pre bacon sarnie rant over*
but I will anyway.
Who the bloody hell wants to meet some total random stranger from the net 'tonight' without any hint of who / what they are, or where they've been?
I personally would worry about someone SO desperate for a shag that they needed 'anybody' tonight, or would drive miles and miles to meet up with such a person.
I suppose, both sides of the party deserve each other, but let's be honest here...
If you're willing to have sex with someone that easily, then you're also likely to attract someone of the same ilk.
Who did you sleep with the night before? and who will it be the night after?
You really are gambling with your health... your chances of catching something aren't just increased a little bit...it's massively increased. Clearly swingers tend to have a few partners, but the kind of folks willing to shag at the drop of a hat will have had PLENTY, and the kinds of folks willing to meet those people will have PLENTY also.
Perhaps it's horny to think of shagging a stranger, I can see that... but I'm gonna stick to my guns and claim it's lunacy too.
Oh, and couples... if you are online at 2am in the morning begging for someone to join you, 'm sorry but there's something wrong in your relationship. If you can't make do with each other, what's that telling you?
*pre bacon sarnie rant over*
Master of Sex
"Build: Athletic"
FFS, yes shot-putters are technically athletes, but sweet jesus I don't think that's what they mean on here. Having seen what some guys describe as medium build on here I should change my profile to slim.
FFS, yes shot-putters are technically athletes, but sweet jesus I don't think that's what they mean on here. Having seen what some guys describe as medium build on here I should change my profile to slim.
