Hard limits

5 Jul 2010

I know i'd never be able to accept poo play and man on man sex plus the universals so I guess I'd be in group 2 Kaz. Otherwise if the moment happened then yeah most things i would find acceptable.
One thing is though that there are levels and limits for all people. So, though I might like pain I might like it done in a mild fashion whereas I might balk at something else purely because it has passed my limits. I guess pain being foremost in my mind as I type.
should be an interesting thread with luck mate :thumbup:

5 Jul 2010

Each to their own in my opinion,but depending on what it was they were involved in would probably make me not meet them if i'm totally honest.
It's a little judgemental of me I know but if some people were into poo and pee i'd be imaginming it while I was meeting them, the imagination is a very powerful thing.

5 Jul 2010

You never know these days. People ask me allsorts of strange things and that isn't even in the swinging world.
I just couldn't get away with not imagining stuff in my head if I knew the people were into things that turned me off severely, even if it were not part of our meet. That's just me obviously, I answer only from my own point of veiw.

5 Jul 2010

I know I have changed over time. I like new things, but do not rush head long into them. I let them creep up on me.
I have a no list, but there is less on it now than there was. I have added some, some that I had never considered before.
I have a may be list, that has changed over the years. Some have moved to the yes list and some to the no list.
Then I have the 'yes to please' list. Those are things I do not chase, but why not.
My last list is my list of enjoyment. Things I really like.
Both of the last two list have grown over time. What will be added to them, who know? I do not, but I know something will be.
Travis
I am put off someone because what they like? What they are may put me off. Do they respect others or not.
Do I have 'Hard Limits'? I do, for the moment, I know they will change, but the last limits are; hurt no one and respect all. Those are my last, very last limits, the only ones I know I will hold forever. All the other limits, hard as I think they are now, well who know in a while they may change.

6 Jul 2010

for me i would be placed at 3.......... im forever pushing my boundaries and with it letting others do the same.... another scene that im involved with im classed as hardcore for the things i have tested why because i look beyond my comfort zone..... its funny really thou that i still get as nervous when on a meet as i first started and it was always a rule of mine that if those butterflies ever went i would stop my antics, so far i havent and i think that reason is that i am attracted to people who can bring a new experience my way...........
when i first started o the scene i had a fellow 'swing' friend who i use to get on with soo much and we sat down a list of most do's 95% of them have been ticked off i have yet to find out if he has done any of his smile

a great man in my life is forever telling me never regret.... always think of it as a learning curve, and i always do !

6 Jul 2010

im group one
there are some things id never ever try and some things i believe are very wrong
and i would never want to meet people who are into things i believe are wrong, it would put me off

6 Jul 2010

Quote by Kaznkev
So another thread has made me think,for some there are quite clearly things they would never try,and a belief that some things are just wrong.
There is a second group who would not do something,but dont judge others for doing it.
And there is a third group which i belong to,which finds there limits constantly changing,as i said on facebook today,on your death bed you will regret the moments you said no,not the experiences that led from yes.
So i was wondering what the general view was on kinks that some find acceptable and they do not.?Do you think,fair enough,or does it put you off people.
And do you ever think,well others enjoy that,i might,after all to many in the outside world by being swingers we are kinky .
Of course some limits,children, animals i am assuming are universal in this discussion.

Oh right so people do have some boundaries then?
Because the above do not sit comfortable with you, in many places it is perfectly ok..are they to be demonised?
People will look at the above two limits and think it is disgusting and I certainly agree, but in many places it is perfectly acceptable whatever we may think.
To some boundaries and what is acceptable is of course from person to person.
We as a couple have pushed our boundaries many times over the years...some with just us and certainly since we entered the swinging scene.
Each person has a level that to go over would not be acceptable, but to some like the two above would be.
I would not do anything that could possibly put myself or mrs777 into any possible dangerous situation, like in another thread the strangulation issue.

6 Jul 2010

I am very open minded and will try most things. We push boundaries all the time but there are things that I know for a fact that I wont do no matter how much my boundaries are pushed.
I am happy to talk to people about anything and I love to listen to peoples fantasies and kinks. What people like to do does not disgust me but I know that there are some of them that I wouldnt do. Each to their own.
Would it put me off?? Errrrm, I dont know, I suppose it depends what it is and how respectful they are of us. There are a lot of people out there who like something and feel the need to convince everyone else that its the way ahead. Quite disrespectul I think!

6 Jul 2010

In Mexico as an example the legal consensual age for sex is 13.
Would we in this country be ok for a man of say 25 to have sex with a 13 year old? I would hope not, but over there it would be perfectly acceptable and more importantly consensual.
Some find it strange and others do not.
Yes of course the " live and let live " analogy is great and I agree that consenting adults that partake in strange sexual practises that are not hurting anyone is perfectly fine, but for me the idea of strangulation as was discussed earlier is a dangerous game to play.
That was my only concern.
If people want to shit on someone, then fine I do not have a problem with that....but nobody is going to do that to me. Pretty disgusting I would have thought.
I did hear a while back about a guy who liked women to puke all over him, once again a strange and pretty disgusting act, but if that is their kink then fine.
For me I am open to most things but the no no's are there all the same for me.
To question ones sexual kinks is not being judgemental as some seem to think it is, it is purely questioning someones ideals as to what is or not acceptable.

6 Jul 2010

Quote by Gurlonloan
for me i would be placed at 3.......... im forever pushing my boundaries and with it letting others do the same.... another scene that im involved with im classed as hardcore for the things i have tested why because i look beyond my comfort zone..... its funny really thou that i still get as nervous when on a meet as i first started and it was always a rule of mine that if those butterflies ever went i would stop my antics, so far i havent and i think that reason is that i am attracted to people who can bring a new experience my way...........
when i first started o the scene i had a fellow 'swing' friend who i use to get on with soo much and we sat down a list of most do's 95% of them have been ticked off i have yet to find out if he has done any of his
a great man in my life is forever telling me never regret.... always think of it as a learning curve, and i always do !

I'm right with you there :-D My boundaries have moved since I first came on here and I'm much more open to trying things than I once was. I have some absolute no's and they haven't changed must be legal and consensual. Never say never just maybe lol, cos you cant really judge without experience. The task ahead is sort new experiences into yes's and no's.
I'm not so perfect that I would judge others for their tastes as long as they can understand mine in return.
Rob

6 Jul 2010

And here was I thinking this was going to be one of those scientific threads about how hard dicks can get.
Plim wink

6 Jul 2010

Quote by kentswingers777
In Mexico as an example the legal consensual age for sex is 13.
Would we in this country be ok for a man of say 25 to have sex with a 13 year old? I would hope not, but over there it would be perfectly acceptable and more importantly consensual.
Some find it strange and others do not.
Yes of course the " live and let live " analogy is great and I agree that consenting adults that partake in strange sexual practises that are not hurting anyone is perfectly fine, but for me the idea of strangulation as was discussed earlier is a dangerous game to play.
That was my only concern.
If people want to shit on someone, then fine I do not have a problem with that....but nobody is going to do that to me. Pretty disgusting I would have thought.
I did hear a while back about a guy who liked women to puke all over him, once again a strange and pretty disgusting act, but if that is their kink then fine.
For me I am open to most things but the no no's are there all the same for me.
To question ones sexual kinks is not being judgemental as some seem to think it is, it is purely questioning someones ideals as to what is or not acceptable.

Also

6 Jul 2010

Interesting Kaz that you ask us to put ourselves into one of three categories yet is is it not you that tells us not to label ourselves?
I have one hard rule and that is not to involve third parties without their consent. This includes sexual acts in public places or wanting the danger of being caught. My reasons for this is simply dont inflict your sexual fantasies on me my kids or anyone else who happens to wander by you or get on the same bus lol

Would we play with someone who has sex in public place? Yes, its a difference of opinion but we wouldn't do it in public with them. Would we play with someone who does poo play? No, nothing against it at all but the idea of it would just put us off.

6 Jul 2010

Quote by tweeky
Interesting Kaz that you ask us to put ourselves into one of three categories yet is is it not you that tells us not to label ourselves?

I have one hard rule and that is not to involve third parties without their consent. This includes sexual acts in public places or wanting the danger of being caught. My reasons for this is simply dont inflict your sexual fantasies on me my kids or anyone else who happens to wander by you or get on the same bus
Would we play with someone who has sex in public place? Yes, its a difference of opinion but we wouldn't do it in public with them. Would we play with someone who does poo play? No, nothing against it at all but the idea of it would just put us off.

:thumbup:

6 Jul 2010

Quote by Kaznkev
than the personal sniping which seems to dominate at the moment

Which you have also partaken in btw. smackbottom

Quote by Kaznkev also
i personally believe th eage of consent is too high in this country,as it is so frequently flouted,however i believe the concept of an age of consent is flawed anyway.

So you would like to see a bad situation get even worse? The highest teenage pregnancy rates in Western Europe. IF kids were allowed to have sex legally at what age would you say, 15..14..or what about 10? Then IF it was lowered even more than it currently is, the rates would increase even higher than they currently are, which are pretty awful.
Sorry for the going off topic, but I just had to point those things out, for debate purposes.

6 Jul 2010

Quote by Kaznkev
Interesting Kaz that you ask us to put ourselves into one of three categories yet is is it not you that tells us not to label ourselves?
I have one hard rule and that is not to involve third parties without their consent. This includes sexual acts in public places or wanting the danger of being caught. My reasons for this is simply dont inflict your sexual fantasies on me my kids or anyone else who happens to wander by you or get on the same bus
Would we play with someone who has sex in public place? Yes, its a difference of opinion but we wouldn't do it in public with them. Would we play with someone who does poo play? No, nothing against it at all but the idea of it would just put us off.

Categories are not labels, for the purposes of stimulating debate it seemed that broadly speaking most people behave in certain ways,by defining these ways i hoped people would feel more able to respond.
i thought it might be interesting to have a debate about limits and how we view those with different limits to us,more interesting than the personal sniping which seems to dominate at the seems i was wrong,some people prefer the sniping.
i included the reference to children and animals in the hope of setting agreed parameters and avoiding derailment.
i personally believe th eage of consent is too high in this country,as it is so frequently flouted,however i believe the concept of an age of consent is flawed anyway.
The part in bold is just being nit picky. I certainly wouldn't label or categorize myself into any of the three groups however I did give a proper answer to the thread biggrin

6 Jul 2010

My main hard limit is that I wont have any silly farm, town, fish etc games on facebook... biggrin

There are several things that were on my list originally, but over the last few years I have tried most things once... I wont say what or I shall end up all unecessary redface

the usual no no's do apply though.....

6 Jul 2010

Provided its legal and all percipience are consenting then I am in the live and let live camp
For me, I have a few hard rules, no poo and no sex with men, not so much rules, just don't turn me on so not interested. Beyond that, the Sky's the limit. (MR)

6 Jul 2010

Our limits are constantly changing - and fast! The constant's we have and I think we always will are no scat, watersports or real pain.
We're just enjoying pushing our boundaries right now wink

*Her*

6 Jul 2010

Quote by Kaznkev
im group one
there are some things id never ever try and some things i believe are very wrong
and i would never want to meet people who are into things i believe are wrong, it would put me off

A further question then,if you found out that someone you already knew and liked was into something you believed was wrong,would it change your friendship?
Thank you all for answering,and for your honesty.
if i found out someone we met was into something i consider wrong then i wouldnt meet them again because knowing that would put me off them ... however normally i check them out first smile

i dont have friendships here (or anywhere) so that part doesnt apply :)

6 Jul 2010

Quote by Kaznkev
we would all react the same.

Depends on someones interpretation of what they thought wrong was?
If you thought someone was doing something that you considered wrong,does that mean that the next person would think along your lines, or would you then categorise them?
What is wrong for one person it seems is perfectly acceptable for another person.

6 Jul 2010

Confused.
Still not to worry eh?

6 Jul 2010

i dont think i could risk the life of the one i love for the sake of a sexual high
many years we have spent in the bdsm circles some underground mean we have seen far more than most and respect other`s limits as well as knowing our own passionkiss

6 Jul 2010

Quote by Kaznkev
Confused.
Still not to worry eh?

yes i think you are,you seem to think you are funny too.The difference between a moral sysyem and an ethical system are not that hard to understand,google it
I have me moments mrs777 tells me.
Can't be arsed with the Google thing to be fair, will leave that up to others.
Also it has been a very busy day today, and whilst I am a bit tired understand the comment perfectly, as I am a very clever smart arse. lol

Also a good looking fucker as well. wink

6 Jul 2010

Firstly, teenage pregnancy statistics also include those aged 16 - 19 years of age, secondly, 25% of young people have sex under the age of 16 which happens to be the age of consent in the UK currently, so to say that the law is being flouted just adds fuel to the misleading fire of 'everyone's at it' mythology which perpetuates . confused

It's not quite a sufficient enough daily mail headline to report the average age for loss of virginity is 16 or that 75% wait until 16 or over to have sex for the first time. :? rolleyes

Ok, now I've got that off my chest (and what a chest it is is, if I may say so myself! :rascal: ) I shall answer the question...
I have certain things that are absolute no way in a million years things that I will NOT do or have any part of. The list of these items are not negotiable under any circumstances.
The 'yellow card' (yes or maybe situation) activities are more flexible and would depend on the person, the act and situation at the time.
I would rather be on my last legs having said "no thanks" with no regrets than said "yes, go on then" and relived the whole sordid uncomfortableness over and over in my mind's eye for years. I've got past that stage and would not under any circumstances go back there. I wouldn't put things on the line for a kick.
I wouldn't want to judge others for wanting to do new things, however, I would not expect to be made to comment, join in, condone or condemn either.
kiss

LG. x

7 Jul 2010

Quote by Kaznkev
So another thread has made me think,for some there are quite clearly things they would never try,and a belief that some things are just wrong.
There is a second group who would not do something,but dont judge others for doing it.
And there is a third group which i belong to,which finds there limits constantly changing,as i said on facebook today,on your death bed you will regret the moments you said no,not the experiences that led from yes.
So i was wondering what the general view was on kinks that some find acceptable and they do not.?Do you think,fair enough,or does it put you off people.
And do you ever think,well others enjoy that,i might,after all to many in the outside world by being swingers we are kinky .
Of course some limits,children, animals i am assuming are universal in this discussion.

Put me down for group two please - There is a lot I will not do but don't judge others for doing it, but there again there is a lot I will not do and I do judge people for doing it - I assume we are refering the main to sexual acts - you mentioned the Paedophiles, yes I judge them. Watersports, Hardsports, Humiliation, nah not for me but lot's of people find it harmless fun and between consenting adults - go for it.
Does what other people do put me off - damn right it does, I live in the real world and the thought of playing with a woman who likes to do bareback puts me right off and I am not ashamed to say it, condoms can break and I will not put myself at risk with such a woman (same applies to letting a guy near my partner if he does bareback with others)
There are other things that put me off, it would be nice to be totally "live and let live" but the reality of that just would not work.

7 Jul 2010

Quote by Kaznkev
So another thread has made me think,for some there are quite clearly things they would never try,and a belief that some things are just wrong.
There is a second group who would not do something,but dont judge others for doing it.
And there is a third group which i belong to,which finds there limits constantly changing,as i said on facebook today,on your death bed you will regret the moments you said no,not the experiences that led from yes.
So i was wondering what the general view was on kinks that some find acceptable and they do not.?Do you think,fair enough,or does it put you off people.
And do you ever think,well others enjoy that,i might,after all to many in the outside world by being swingers we are kinky .
Of course some limits,children, animals i am assuming are universal in this discussion.

Put me down for group two please - There is a lot I will not do but don't judge others for doing it, but there again there is a lot I will not do and I do judge people for doing it - I assume we are refering the main to sexual acts - you mentioned the Paedophiles, yes I judge them. Watersports, Hardsports, Humiliation, nah not for me but lot's of people find it harmless fun and between consenting adults - go for it.
Does what other people do put me off - damn right it does, I live in the real world and the thought of playing with a woman who likes to do bareback puts me right off and I am not ashamed to say it, condoms can break and I will not put myself at risk with such a woman (same applies to letting a guy near my partner if he does bareback with others)
There are other things that put me off, it would be nice to be totally "live and let live" but the reality of that just would not work.
Thanks for replying,i was not thinking of bareback as a kink,but of course for many it is,especially the whole pregnancy risk if i could wave a magic wand and eliminate all stds i would,i think sex is much better without condoms,but as you say they are a necessity to protect yourself and your partner.
Kaz, would you lock yourself on an island with 20/50 people and get tests for a year. Then no condoms for those who pass? Is that your idea of heaven?

7 Jul 2010

Quote by Kaznkev
So another thread has made me think,for some there are quite clearly things they would never try,and a belief that some things are just wrong.
There is a second group who would not do something,but dont judge others for doing it.
And there is a third group which i belong to,which finds there limits constantly changing,as i said on facebook today,on your death bed you will regret the moments you said no,not the experiences that led from yes.
So i was wondering what the general view was on kinks that some find acceptable and they do not.?Do you think,fair enough,or does it put you off people.
And do you ever think,well others enjoy that,i might,after all to many in the outside world by being swingers we are kinky .
Of course some limits,children, animals i am assuming are universal in this discussion.

Put me down for group two please - There is a lot I will not do but don't judge others for doing it, but there again there is a lot I will not do and I do judge people for doing it - I assume we are refering the main to sexual acts - you mentioned the Paedophiles, yes I judge them. Watersports, Hardsports, Humiliation, nah not for me but lot's of people find it harmless fun and between consenting adults - go for it.
Does what other people do put me off - damn right it does, I live in the real world and the thought of playing with a woman who likes to do bareback puts me right off and I am not ashamed to say it, condoms can break and I will not put myself at risk with such a woman (same applies to letting a guy near my partner if he does bareback with others)
There are other things that put me off, it would be nice to be totally "live and let live" but the reality of that just would not work.
Thanks for replying,i was not thinking of bareback as a kink,but of course for many it is,especially the whole pregnancy risk if i could wave a magic wand and eliminate all stds i would,i think sex is much better without condoms,but as you say they are a necessity to protect yourself and your partner.
Kaz, would you lock yourself on an island with 20/50 people and get tests for a year. Then no condoms for those who pass? Is that your idea of heaven?

7 Jul 2010

You can choose, does that mean the a hard limit has been breached?

7 Jul 2010

Quote by Kaznkev
only if i could choose the people

Staggs...Benny....away.....grab ya coats. lol