Have got a plan!
I would like to collect and share any humorous swinging stories. For example on one weekend I went on, the lady snored so loudly, the management of the hotel pulled me aside in the morning and asked me to try and snore more quietly, of course being the perfect gent I didn't want to blame it on her, my swinging partner. It got that bad they actually moved us to the far end of the building and in fact got a better room - overlooking the sea, though her snoring rattled the window frames,ok it was an old hotel. Then there was the time I went with a substantially dimensioned BBW who got stuck in the bath, or the time I was at the home of an errant wife, whose husband had recently returned to work after a long illness. However he came home early, feeling ill, and caught us, his ticker went again and I had to go i the ambulance with him as the lady had to go and collect the kids from school.
All just typical swinging events for me, some of my better failures!
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Has anyone got any humorous swinging stories
Sex God
Quote by funlovin
Have got a plan!
I would like to collect and share any humorous swinging stories. For example on one weekend I went on, the lady snored so loudly, the management of the hotel pulled me aside in the morning and asked me to try and snore more quietly, of course being the perfect gent I didn't want to blame it on her, my swinging partner. It got that bad they actually moved us to the far end of the building and in fact got a better room - overlooking the sea, though her snoring rattled the window frames,ok it was an old hotel. Then there was the time I went with a substantially dimensioned BBW who got stuck in the bath, or the time I was at the home of an errant wife, whose husband had recently returned to work after a long illness. However he came home early, feeling ill, and caught us, his ticker went again and I had to go i the ambulance with him as the lady had to go and collect the kids from school.
All just typical swinging events for me, some of my better failures!
What are you going to do with all these stories you have collected?
Quote by Sarah
Have got a plan!
I would like to collect and share any humorous swinging stories. For example on one weekend I went on, the lady snored so loudly, the management of the hotel pulled me aside in the morning and asked me to try and snore more quietly, of course being the perfect gent I didn't want to blame it on her, my swinging partner. It got that bad they actually moved us to the far end of the building and in fact got a better room - overlooking the sea, though her snoring rattled the window frames,ok it was an old hotel. Then there was the time I went with a substantially dimensioned BBW who got stuck in the bath, or the time I was at the home of an errant wife, whose husband had recently returned to work after a long illness. However he came home early, feeling ill, and caught us, his ticker went again and I had to go i the ambulance with him as the lady had to go and collect the kids from school.
All just typical swinging events for me, some of my better failures!
What are you going to do with all these stories you have collected?
Read 'em, what else! Wanna see if anyone else has such bad luck as I do, a disaster looking for somewhere to happen!
BTW when I press Reply, a new forum topic comes up?
Sex God
Not really swinging but here goes anyway. I was much younger and was at the time riding a motorcycle much more frequently than I find time to know. I started to see a young lady who also rode a motorcycle.
There is a large local motorcycle event that takes place on Poole Quay every Tuesday evening during the summer.
We decided one Sunny evening we would pop on down. We arrived at the Quay and was directed to park between two bollards, I rode through and parked as I did I heard a little shriek and a crash of a bike falling, I turned back to see the young lady in question on the floor, I rushed back lifted the bike of of her and began to push it next to mine, just in time for dozens of burly bikers to appear and say, "You alright mate", what could I say, I hung my head and nodded yes, I would be fine....
There is a large local motorcycle event that takes place on Poole Quay every Tuesday evening during the summer.
We decided one Sunny evening we would pop on down. We arrived at the Quay and was directed to park between two bollards, I rode through and parked as I did I heard a little shriek and a crash of a bike falling, I turned back to see the young lady in question on the floor, I rushed back lifted the bike of of her and began to push it next to mine, just in time for dozens of burly bikers to appear and say, "You alright mate", what could I say, I hung my head and nodded yes, I would be fine....
Sex God
Quote by funlovin
Have got a plan!
I would like to collect and share any humorous swinging stories. For example on one weekend I went on, the lady snored so loudly, the management of the hotel pulled me aside in the morning and asked me to try and snore more quietly, of course being the perfect gent I didn't want to blame it on her, my swinging partner. It got that bad they actually moved us to the far end of the building and in fact got a better room - overlooking the sea, though her snoring rattled the window frames,ok it was an old hotel. Then there was the time I went with a substantially dimensioned BBW who got stuck in the bath, or the time I was at the home of an errant wife, whose husband had recently returned to work after a long illness. However he came home early, feeling ill, and caught us, his ticker went again and I had to go i the ambulance with him as the lady had to go and collect the kids from school.
All just typical swinging events for me, some of my better failures!
This is funny
The only funny things that have happened to us have pretty much happened at munchs or socials so I wouldn't comment on them as some of the other people involved may still be members.
The only one I can think of with someone I dont know happened at a Wigan munch. I was in the loo trying to have a pee it was quite busy and my willy was doing the stage fright thing, dont you just hate that :twisted: Anyway eventually got it going and then I felt arms around me :shock: Seems a friendly lady had decided to enter the mens toilet and give us all a hug and some naughty words too. Needless to say my flow dried up again
and I had to spend more time struggling to get it going. 
Sex God
There was that time with the panda suit and the pressure washer - but the young man involved begged me never to mention it once he inherited the family title. So I'll not go into it.
But, ahhhh, the memories.
:D:D:D:D:D
But, ahhhh, the memories.
:D:D:D:D:D The only one that springs to mind is going to a party, being very merry with alcohol and giving oral to the host for god knows how long, before she pushed me off unable to take anymore and I woke up in the morning wondering why my jaw ached like fuck and my tounge hurt. All why other people at the party where playing on SH chat room at the time on the computer next to the bed!
Quote by tweeky
or the time I was at the home of an errant wife, whose husband had recently returned to work after a long illness. However he came home early, feeling ill, and caught us, his ticker went again and I had to go i the ambulance with him as the lady had to go and collect the kids from school.
This is funny
Well according to this page...
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/terminology/swinging.html
Quote by some wise old sage
1. To move back and forth suspended or as if suspended from above.
2. Recreational sex between consenting adults.
Ah, now that is convenient, as it saves us a great deal of time of explaining what we feel swinging really is. Yes, you've guessed it, we're going with definition 2. Swinging isn't simply 'Wife Swapping', nor is it quite as simple as 'Recreational sex between consenting adults' - even though we prefer the latter definition. No, it's more a state of mind. It's about being honest, open-minded, and expressing yourself freely. It's about enjoying sex with other people while not endangering pre-existing relationships.
it isn't swinging
