Quote by Robbie the Robot from Lost in Space
hi im bi guy lov 2 meet sexi smooth tv mmmm ure gal can watch us ok me 6ft tanned very muscly smoothe guy married but hve thing 4 sexi tvs mmmmlov 2 meet me lancs 2 need very discreet soz no pics very gen guy cock bout 7 n thick not cut txt me plz we sort out ill call u after txt k no emails plz prom u wont b dissapointed me gen guy very hunky my discreet moby is xxxxxxxxxx we hve great time x need very discreeet k bye x
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Have to share this !!
Jaine... :therethere:
Take a peak at my Tips for Single Guys and you'll know I know how you're feeling...
But take heart! There's some really nice guys - a lot of them in the forum - out there. I've met several from here and had some great times with them.
Now all you need is one of them there 'Tossermeters' that Mark is beta testing right now.
Hxx
Take a peak at my Tips for Single Guys and you'll know I know how you're feeling...
But take heart! There's some really nice guys - a lot of them in the forum - out there. I've met several from here and had some great times with them.
Now all you need is one of them there 'Tossermeters' that Mark is beta testing right now.
Hxx
Sex God
I can't say I've bothered with the ads myself (though I did have a peek at yours, Moist). A hit rate of one in twenty billion must be a bit disheartening, however nice the one might turn out to be.
But you don't need the ads. You've got us! Just imagine - right now, there's dozens of people all around the country thinking "that Moist is a nice girl, isn't she? Grammar isn't the nice old lady she visits on the weekends. She owns her own dictionary. And I bet she types with more than two fingers at once. I'll cancel my holiday and spend the next month hiding under a bridge in Wales, waiting for her to drive across."
But you don't need the ads. You've got us! Just imagine - right now, there's dozens of people all around the country thinking "that Moist is a nice girl, isn't she? Grammar isn't the nice old lady she visits on the weekends. She owns her own dictionary. And I bet she types with more than two fingers at once. I'll cancel my holiday and spend the next month hiding under a bridge in Wales, waiting for her to drive across."
But you don't need the ads. You've got us! Just imagine - right now, there's dozens of people all around the country thinking "that Moist is a nice girl, isn't she? Grammar isn't the nice old lady she visits on the weekends. She owns her own dictionary. And I bet she types with more than two fingers at once. I'll cancel my holiday and spend the next month hiding under a bridge in Wales, waiting for her to drive across."
You are lovely, thank you. But people thinking I am a nice girl aint gonna let me meet "him" whoever he may be...Sometimes think I will end up an old & grey spinster living all alone in her bungalow with only her dogs & cats for company..
Hmmm :cry:
You are lovely, thank you. But people thinking I am a nice girl aint gonna let me meet "him" whoever he may be...Sometimes think I will end up an old & grey spinster living all alone in her bungalow with only her dogs & cats for company..
Hmmm :cry:
But people thinking I am a nice girl aint gonna let me meet "him" whoever he may be...
Jaine, believe me - stranger things have happened. Four months ago I was a 'single fem', now I am a very attached 'fem', thanks to the forum. I don't have a lot of faith in ads so I stuck with the Cafe. I now have the man and the friends too.
Stick with us, kid - you'll do fine. Honest and true.
Sappho xxx
Sex God
Big hugs and snogs for Moist 
assionkiss: :passionkiss:
As Will might say: Get thee to a munch! Why wouldst thou be a breeder of loneliness? I am myself attracted, but yet I could believe me no such thing that it were only myself. You are very wise, witty, sexy; with more qualities at your call than tossers have emails to say them in, imagination to give them appreciation, or grace to deserve them. What should such swingles as us do, crawling between earth and (swinging) heaven? We are hopeful lonelies all; despair for none of us. Go thy ways to a munch. Where's your father?
I'm not sure what your father has to do with it, and I'm not entirely sure what the rest means. And Will probably has too much sense to word it like that. But I hope you get the idea.
(I LIKE starting sentences with 'And' and 'But'. I shall continue doing so, whatever the purists say)
assionkiss: :passionkiss: As Will might say: Get thee to a munch! Why wouldst thou be a breeder of loneliness? I am myself attracted, but yet I could believe me no such thing that it were only myself. You are very wise, witty, sexy; with more qualities at your call than tossers have emails to say them in, imagination to give them appreciation, or grace to deserve them. What should such swingles as us do, crawling between earth and (swinging) heaven? We are hopeful lonelies all; despair for none of us. Go thy ways to a munch. Where's your father?
I'm not sure what your father has to do with it, and I'm not entirely sure what the rest means. And Will probably has too much sense to word it like that. But I hope you get the idea.
(I LIKE starting sentences with 'And' and 'But'. I shall continue doing so, whatever the purists say)
Quote by Sappho
But people thinking I am a nice girl aint gonna let me meet "him" whoever he may be...
Jaine, believe me - stranger things have happened.
.
.
.Sappho xxx
You know what, Jaine - she's right (as ever) !
Friends are merely strangers you've yet to know, and the special "him" or "her" are friends you meet when you least expect it.
As the incredibly wise SH WI member has already pointed out, it does indeed happen, no matter how unlikely you may think it is.......
Carpathian
Sorry you will all have to excuse my self pitying ramblings today...dont know what the hell is the matter with me...maybe doing nite shift is getting to me...
I shall shut the feck up & only post when I have nice happy sensible things to say
Funny, but when I was younger I used to have a few wishes & these were:
1. To live in a bungalow....(strange but coz I lived in a flat under an alcoholic for 7 years a bungalow was a dream) so when the council finally re-housed me guess what...a bungalow !!
2. To own a fast new car ( after having old bangers that cost max £600 I always dreamed of a heater that worked & a car that started 1st time) & again....thru something I wont go ino here I got my dream car.
3. To have a job that was worthwhile & never boring, that paid well & I made a difference to peoples lives (well got that too last year working for the police)
4. To meet someone who would be my soulmate, my equal, my best friend/lover/companion etc etc. Thought I had met him once but it all went very pete tong so scared me off for a while...
So 3 out of 4 is pretty damn cool & I should be the happiest bunny in the field but...material stuff realy aint worth a toss at the end of the day is it..
Whoops so much for shutting up...(slopes off to her corner & puts duct tape over her mouth)...
I shall shut the feck up & only post when I have nice happy sensible things to say
Funny, but when I was younger I used to have a few wishes & these were:
1. To live in a bungalow....(strange but coz I lived in a flat under an alcoholic for 7 years a bungalow was a dream) so when the council finally re-housed me guess what...a bungalow !!
2. To own a fast new car ( after having old bangers that cost max £600 I always dreamed of a heater that worked & a car that started 1st time) & again....thru something I wont go ino here I got my dream car.
3. To have a job that was worthwhile & never boring, that paid well & I made a difference to peoples lives (well got that too last year working for the police)
4. To meet someone who would be my soulmate, my equal, my best friend/lover/companion etc etc. Thought I had met him once but it all went very pete tong so scared me off for a while...
So 3 out of 4 is pretty damn cool & I should be the happiest bunny in the field but...material stuff realy aint worth a toss at the end of the day is it..
Whoops so much for shutting up...(slopes off to her corner & puts duct tape over her mouth)...
'Z Victor 1 to Control' crackle'Z Victor 1 to Control'. 'Come in Moist'.
'Am in pursuit of an irrelevant post....last seen somewhere above this...apparently someone apologised for posting when they felt a bit down...obviously doesn't know she's broke the SH Law and that is the very time she should post....will apprehend and bring back to station for counselling...will let her off with caution and threat of service in this community of friends...Z Victor 1 over and out....
Blues and Twos wail as Artificer screeches his Ford Zephyr round corner on two wheels to the sound of Z Cars Theme....
'Am in pursuit of an irrelevant post....last seen somewhere above this...apparently someone apologised for posting when they felt a bit down...obviously doesn't know she's broke the SH Law and that is the very time she should post....will apprehend and bring back to station for counselling...will let her off with caution and threat of service in this community of friends...Z Victor 1 over and out....
Blues and Twos wail as Artificer screeches his Ford Zephyr round corner on two wheels to the sound of Z Cars Theme....
Sex God
That was an extremely serious transgression. We'll have to wait for Mark (Mighty Leader and Judge)'s ruling, but in previous cases the punishment has been to be forced to read the forum as many times as day as you can face, interspersed with numerous postings. You have to be cruel to be kind.
Quote by DJohn
That was an extremely serious transgression. We'll have to wait for Mark (Mighty Leader and Judge)'s ruling, but in previous cases the punishment has been to be forced to read the forum as many times as day as you can face, interspersed with numerous postings. You have to be cruel to be kind.
Amen to that - bang your gavel !
Carpathian
Quote by Moist
Oh dear I really broke a law...what will the punishment be?? Please dont stop me posting ever again...I could not bear it as I love you all so much already & come out in hives if I dont get on the forum every few hours...
Your Moist slave :twisted:
By the power invested in me by a pound of shropshire steak and two bottles of Merlot, I declare that you, Moist, are forgiven all trespass, wrongdoing and wicked behaviour. Pray, step down from the dock and continue life in a manner deemed appropriate by this Forum. I appoint Mr Gman as your Parole Officer and Sargeant Ernest Bilko as your guardian angel. Ms Sappho will organise your counselling and Ms Jags will stand buy , just in case a damned good slap should prove in order.
All stand
God save the Queen
Now, report to my chambers and I will sort out the formalities... :twisted: :twisted:
Just reading whats been said here and clearly we've missed your ad. We've had a couples ad for ages, and only recently made real progress! 79% idiots, 10% nice but not for us, and 10% nice and then don't like us, and 1% nice all round!! So its not just F ads that get it.
Please don't give up though!! We don't know anyone on the forum from adam ( :cry: ) - but you are here because you want to be - so enjoy it! And ignore the trash out there.
We'd give you an encouraging hug if we could - but truth be told we're too knackered!
Put photos up and ignore the tw@ts out there. THEY are the ones not worth it.
Good to see the mods & admins kicking ass - job well done!
Anyway - good luck!!! ....back to reading!
