I had a embarrasing moment . it was during my stay at a hotel. i was going down in the lift when another person whom i havent met until then started talking to asked 'How are you?" and I answered "Fine" surprised at it. He then asked me "What else are you up to" and i replied "nothing". Finally he turned to me and said "Do You Mind I Am On The Phone"!!.It was then that i realized he was talking on his Mobile
well, i hoped you liked that, hope to read some of the members stories on here
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have you any embarrasing stories
Ohhh i have loads most involve either swinging or the kids lol
Worse one was we was in the bus stop a while a go and stood next to this rather large lady and my then 3 year old daygher was eyeing up this lady who was stood right in front of her and bum to eye level, anyway after a few mins of eyeing up this ladies rather over sized bottom my daughter shouted out "mum look at that ladies fat bum" turning bright red i tried to shut her up and told her not to be so rude, only the more i told her to be quiet the louder she got shouting "but she had mum look at her big bum" fanaily the bus come and i though thank god to that, got on the over crouded bus and sat down, only due to the lack of seats the same lady stood right in front of us with her back to us and my daughter shouted "look mum its the lady with the big bum again"
i didn't know where to put my face
Worse one was we was in the bus stop a while a go and stood next to this rather large lady and my then 3 year old daygher was eyeing up this lady who was stood right in front of her and bum to eye level, anyway after a few mins of eyeing up this ladies rather over sized bottom my daughter shouted out "mum look at that ladies fat bum" turning bright red i tried to shut her up and told her not to be so rude, only the more i told her to be quiet the louder she got shouting "but she had mum look at her big bum" fanaily the bus come and i though thank god to that, got on the over crouded bus and sat down, only due to the lack of seats the same lady stood right in front of us with her back to us and my daughter shouted "look mum its the lady with the big bum again"
i didn't know where to put my face When we first moved over here we were travelling over on the ferry with our then3 year nephew, as he needed the loo the only male in the party was my other half so off he dutifully trotted. The next thing my sister and I heard was my nephew running the length of the ship saying at at the top of his voice "mummy, uncle ***** weed in the sink!"
Bless his heart he had never seen urinals before! My man followed him bk to his seats bright red to find my sister and I rolling aound laughing
Bless his heart he had never seen urinals before! My man followed him bk to his seats bright red to find my sister and I rolling aound laughing
Not something thats happened to me personally,
something i read which i thought was pretty funny
So there I was in this club desperately trying to pull and she walks in. A goddess! What the hell she saw in me I don't know!! Any way one thing led to the next and she was asking me back to her place. Problem was I really needed to take a dump but asking her to wait while I went to the bogs didn't seem the right thing to do at the time. So.... I sucked it up and we jumped in a taxi back to hers.
20 mins later, we're getting off with each other in her flat and I just can't hold it any more so I ask her if I can borrow her toilet for a second. She says fine but tells me that she wants to take a shower first so why don't I wait for her in the bedroom! You see my predicament! There I am with this sex kitten but I need a shite! Well, I couldn't stop her from taking a shower so trying not to shake too much I head into her room.
I turn down the lights to make it nice and moody and sit there on the bed imagining the joys that were sure to follow. By this time however, I really need to go so. I'm dying and am trying to think of what I can do!!! Then it hits me!! The greatest idea since HP sauce!! I take off a sock, pull down my jeans and kegs and proceed to do the business in the sock. Unbelievably, I don't spill a drop and by tying it up, I can use the top to wipe my arse too. After finishing up, the only problem I have to deal with is disposing with the dirty sock. I look around the room but am unable to find suitable places for the offending garment to be hidden. Then I spy the window.
Looking out I see that after a small back yard, there is a wall and beyond that a park. So I'm thinking to myself that if I make it over the wall I'm safe. No problem. I start swinging the sock around my head. Once! Twice! and then i let FLY! The sock sails over the wall and well into the park. I feel as if I've scored the winning goal in the World Cup!!
Feeling relieved and horny, I sit on the bed, take the rest of my gear off and wait for the angel to exit the shower. I hear her finish and she enters the room! She looks hot in the towel and as she lowers it to the ground and turns on the light, her face turns from one of lust to one of horror!!! and I see WHY!
Splattered on all 4 walls is shit which must have leaked out through the sock while I was spinning it round my head!
I think i would die
something i read which i thought was pretty funny
So there I was in this club desperately trying to pull and she walks in. A goddess! What the hell she saw in me I don't know!! Any way one thing led to the next and she was asking me back to her place. Problem was I really needed to take a dump but asking her to wait while I went to the bogs didn't seem the right thing to do at the time. So.... I sucked it up and we jumped in a taxi back to hers.
20 mins later, we're getting off with each other in her flat and I just can't hold it any more so I ask her if I can borrow her toilet for a second. She says fine but tells me that she wants to take a shower first so why don't I wait for her in the bedroom! You see my predicament! There I am with this sex kitten but I need a shite! Well, I couldn't stop her from taking a shower so trying not to shake too much I head into her room.
I turn down the lights to make it nice and moody and sit there on the bed imagining the joys that were sure to follow. By this time however, I really need to go so. I'm dying and am trying to think of what I can do!!! Then it hits me!! The greatest idea since HP sauce!! I take off a sock, pull down my jeans and kegs and proceed to do the business in the sock. Unbelievably, I don't spill a drop and by tying it up, I can use the top to wipe my arse too. After finishing up, the only problem I have to deal with is disposing with the dirty sock. I look around the room but am unable to find suitable places for the offending garment to be hidden. Then I spy the window.
Looking out I see that after a small back yard, there is a wall and beyond that a park. So I'm thinking to myself that if I make it over the wall I'm safe. No problem. I start swinging the sock around my head. Once! Twice! and then i let FLY! The sock sails over the wall and well into the park. I feel as if I've scored the winning goal in the World Cup!!
Feeling relieved and horny, I sit on the bed, take the rest of my gear off and wait for the angel to exit the shower. I hear her finish and she enters the room! She looks hot in the towel and as she lowers it to the ground and turns on the light, her face turns from one of lust to one of horror!!! and I see WHY!
Splattered on all 4 walls is shit which must have leaked out through the sock while I was spinning it round my head!
I think i would die
Another one of mine that involves the kids which anyone who knows me will have already heard as my hubbie takes great pleasure in telling everyone 
Many years ago when my eldest was only about 4ish we nipped over to the hubbies parents house cause Paul had to do a jon for his dad, anyway a small job turned into a big job as it does with you men and daughters number 1 started moaning she was hungry so Pauls mum offers to do her some beans on toast to see her till we get home, so off they go to kitchen, my nipper in tow to help and as her Nana put the food on the plate our Cheyenne pulls on her skirt saying "Nana you havn't done that right, u have to scrape the toast in the sink first"
no secarets with kids is there
Many years ago when my eldest was only about 4ish we nipped over to the hubbies parents house cause Paul had to do a jon for his dad, anyway a small job turned into a big job as it does with you men and daughters number 1 started moaning she was hungry so Pauls mum offers to do her some beans on toast to see her till we get home, so off they go to kitchen, my nipper in tow to help and as her Nana put the food on the plate our Cheyenne pulls on her skirt saying "Nana you havn't done that right, u have to scrape the toast in the sink first"
no secarets with kids is there
Sex God
Quote by naughtynymphos1
Another one of mine that involves the kids which anyone who knows me will have already heard as my hubbie takes great pleasure in telling everyone
Many years ago when my eldest was only about 4ish we nipped over to the hubbies parents house cause Paul had to do a jon for his dad, anyway a small job turned into a big job as it does with you men and daughters number 1 started moaning she was hungry so Pauls mum offers to do her some beans on toast to see her till we get home, so off they go to kitchen, my nipper in tow to help and as her Nana put the food on the plate our Cheyenne pulls on her skirt saying "Nana you havn't done that right, u have to scrape the toast in the sink first"
no secarets with kids is there
:lol: :lol:
It sounds like your toasting skills are about on a par with Bluexxx's cake making ones. :twisted:
Quote by rogerthedragon
Another one of mine that involves the kids which anyone who knows me will have already heard as my hubbie takes great pleasure in telling everyone
Many years ago when my eldest was only about 4ish we nipped over to the hubbies parents house cause Paul had to do a jon for his dad, anyway a small job turned into a big job as it does with you men and daughters number 1 started moaning she was hungry so Pauls mum offers to do her some beans on toast to see her till we get home, so off they go to kitchen, my nipper in tow to help and as her Nana put the food on the plate our Cheyenne pulls on her skirt saying "Nana you havn't done that right, u have to scrape the toast in the sink first"
no secarets with kids is there
:lol: :lol:
It sounds like your toasting skills are about on a par with Bluexxx's cake making ones. :twisted:
Its bad tho when ur kids actually think scraping it is part of cooking toast lol
I was in asda once and gave my then 6 year old daughter a tie I was going to buy to hold for me. we continued on with the shopping and I forgot she had it as she put it in her pocket. as we left and the alarms went off and a security guard asked if we had anything we had forgot to pay for. Of course I said no and my daughter said what about this tie you told me to look after :shock:
I was in a very well known London store with my son. He was drooling over the cake counter, and next to him was a quite gaudily made-up woman, wearing clothes that were 20 years too young for her, showing all she had to anyone who had an interest in looking.
Espying a wondrous piece of the patisseriere's art, he shouted across the food hall to where I was standing:
"Dad, come and have a look at this tart!"
Espying a wondrous piece of the patisseriere's art, he shouted across the food hall to where I was standing:
"Dad, come and have a look at this tart!"
Orgasminator
I remember being in Asda when I was about 4 or 5.
I was really desperate for a wee but was told I had to wait.
We were in the queue for absolutely ages so unfortunately I wet myself there and then.
Some other kids started laughing and pointing so I thought I'd run away out of the doors and wait for my Auntie there.
Only trouble was, the doors were alarmed so as soon as I pushed them the whole shop was ringing with alarm bells and everyone stopped and stared at me.
I got a right telling off when we got home....we never went in there again.
I was really desperate for a wee but was told I had to wait.
We were in the queue for absolutely ages so unfortunately I wet myself there and then.
Some other kids started laughing and pointing so I thought I'd run away out of the doors and wait for my Auntie there.
Only trouble was, the doors were alarmed so as soon as I pushed them the whole shop was ringing with alarm bells and everyone stopped and stared at me.
I got a right telling off when we got home....we never went in there again.
another one which involved me but can't say as i was the embarresed one
Living very, very close to Chameleons you do get to bump into other locals who go out side the club from time to time, anyway on evening while in the darlaston asda i was walking round and spotted a 'single' guy i know from the club and who i had played with many times, anyway not to be rude i decided to go over and say hi only as he spotted me he started to walk away, odd i thought as we had always go on quite well so i decided to follow him round the corner where he had teamed up with a woman took her by the arm and was walking off with her at a almost running pace
well don't think it take's much working out who she was :lol:
Another one that also happened in the darlaston asda (makes note not to shop in that asda if you go to chams :lol: ) i had just nipped in for a bottle of wine on my way to chameleons as it happens when a guy started chatting to me and the convo started "hi Alison how are you?" hummm so he obviously knew me even tho i didn't have a clue who he was, "yeah i'm ok ta how u keeping" came my reply :? this went on for a few mins in hope that he would say something so i could pick up on who he was, anyway after a few mins i said "sorry but i just can't place your face?" "my names Dave" he replys "i fucked u in the couples room in chams last night" 
ops:
Living very, very close to Chameleons you do get to bump into other locals who go out side the club from time to time, anyway on evening while in the darlaston asda i was walking round and spotted a 'single' guy i know from the club and who i had played with many times, anyway not to be rude i decided to go over and say hi only as he spotted me he started to walk away, odd i thought as we had always go on quite well so i decided to follow him round the corner where he had teamed up with a woman took her by the arm and was walking off with her at a almost running pace
well don't think it take's much working out who she was :lol: Another one that also happened in the darlaston asda (makes note not to shop in that asda if you go to chams :lol: ) i had just nipped in for a bottle of wine on my way to chameleons as it happens when a guy started chatting to me and the convo started "hi Alison how are you?" hummm so he obviously knew me even tho i didn't have a clue who he was, "yeah i'm ok ta how u keeping" came my reply :? this went on for a few mins in hope that he would say something so i could pick up on who he was, anyway after a few mins i said "sorry but i just can't place your face?" "my names Dave" he replys "i fucked u in the couples room in chams last night"
ops: Going back to the lift story. I get in a hotel lift and there is a small rather scruffy man already in there. I am sure I know him
ME: Oh! Hello!
MAN: Oh, hiya! (shakes hands)
ME: How's it going, Matey? (trying desperately to remember who he is)
MAN: Oh, y'know, still strumming the guitar (points to case on floor)
ME: Got any good gigs lined up? Making any dosh?
MAN: Oh not doing too badly
ME: Are you playing in the bar?
MAN: Er, no, I don't think so.....
ME: Oh fuck, you're Cliff Richard (bangs face against lift doors)
ME: Oh! Hello!
MAN: Oh, hiya! (shakes hands)
ME: How's it going, Matey? (trying desperately to remember who he is)
MAN: Oh, y'know, still strumming the guitar (points to case on floor)
ME: Got any good gigs lined up? Making any dosh?
MAN: Oh not doing too badly
ME: Are you playing in the bar?
MAN: Er, no, I don't think so.....
ME: Oh fuck, you're Cliff Richard (bangs face against lift doors)
Quote by stephen1980
I had a embarrasing moment . it was during my stay at a hotel. i was going down in the lift when another person whom i havent met until then started talking to asked 'How are you?" and I answered "Fine" surprised at it. He then asked me "What else are you up to" and i replied "nothing". Finally he turned to me and said "Do You Mind I Am On The Phone"!!.It was then that i realized he was talking on his Mobile
well, i hoped you liked that, hope to read some of the members stories on here
One transport job I had was delivering milk from the dairy to a retailers at a farm, my workmate was tormenting me as we worked on the lorry unloading, not knowing the farmers wife was stood behing me, I turned round and said : now F**k off C**T and I don't care if the farmers wife is listening, everything went quiet and I heard a voice say : oh, don't you........it was the farmers wife!!! I had a red face for the rest of the day.
ops: :oops: :shock: :shock: :shock: :silly: 