Hi
I hope I have the right forum area to say hello
Strangely enough I'm not interested in meeting up or anything physical!
I'm just curious about the lifestyle and how people get along, as this seems much more important and if real friendships are possible. I've always thought this would be the most appealing thing personally because the ordinary barriers are dispensed with and people can be as they are. I mean anyone can go clubbing and have a one-nighter or go to an escort if they want to but swinging seems so much more and that's the appeal to me.
I think I'd be happy just being around swingers and enjoying the atmosphere without taking so much as my shoes off. Maybe that's 30-odd years talking but I'm seeing things differently these days. The sexual side is there as strong as ever but I'm wanting more of wanting to know people which I think holds me and my girlfriend back from just diving straight in to an unknown scene.
Are there different types of swinger gatherings and how do they relate to each other?
Any of your views would be really appreciated and helpful,
I've always had this knowledge that this is me, and a wanting to find my place
Martin
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Hello one and all! A question on friendship
Sex God
welll... go to socials then......
they only get in trouble there... if they forget it`s a vanilla place n start dancing on the tables...
socials are just that.. often just held in a pub...
just dont sit in a corner all night being shy.. way more fun if u chat n get to know peeps...
n we have friends on here from ages ago.. they`ll text n say they passing by... put the kettle on....
( I take no responsibily 4 this post if u go to the next social n dance on the table)) lol
they only get in trouble there... if they forget it`s a vanilla place n start dancing on the tables...
socials are just that.. often just held in a pub...
just dont sit in a corner all night being shy.. way more fun if u chat n get to know peeps...
n we have friends on here from ages ago.. they`ll text n say they passing by... put the kettle on....
( I take no responsibily 4 this post if u go to the next social n dance on the table)) lol
Casanova
Hello Martin :welcome:
Your post strikes more than a chord with me, rather a whole song! Rest assured, there are rich friendships to be had here. If you look into this closer, many - if not most - of lifestyle swingers are also into the social side of things, and yes there are LOADS of people that are drawn to the scene just for the openess/permissiveness and freedom of expression. It really is a playground with very few rules, and if you are clear about what you want, with a bit of luck you will find it.
Having said that... if you are craving romantic/emotional intimacy you will be in the minority here. While such relationships sometimes do flourish, for the most part emotional involvement is frowned upon (mostly because of people trying to protect existing relationships). So from a purist point of view, any encounters - even between regular playmates - must remain casual affairs. If you are interested more in the multiple/parallel relationship aspect of things, also look into polyamory (if you haven't already).
Personally I have been tiptoing the line between casual and involved... for a good few months now and I still don't know where I fit in on the swinging spectrum (or if I do). The problem is, of course, that these relationships are outside the norm and do not come with a rule book. For those of us that swinging is only about attraction and sex things may be straight-forward enough... but when walking into the territory of regular meets, fuckbuddies/friends-with-benefits, it can be hard to distinguish where "naughty fun" finishes and "proper relationship" starts.
As per twos' post, socials is exactly what you are describing! Fear not - real swingers are so oversexed they won't rush over to jump you Also a lot of people on here are fairly open about meeting socially (coffee/drink or similar), at least to begin with - so this is definitely not outside the normal range of activities. Further than that... it's up to the individuals.
Lastly, on swinging and friendship - have a look at this thread:
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/402325.html
I hope I have made some sense, it's a little late :sleeping: I wish you all the best in your search.
Your post strikes more than a chord with me, rather a whole song! Rest assured, there are rich friendships to be had here. If you look into this closer, many - if not most - of lifestyle swingers are also into the social side of things, and yes there are LOADS of people that are drawn to the scene just for the openess/permissiveness and freedom of expression. It really is a playground with very few rules, and if you are clear about what you want, with a bit of luck you will find it.
Having said that... if you are craving romantic/emotional intimacy you will be in the minority here. While such relationships sometimes do flourish, for the most part emotional involvement is frowned upon (mostly because of people trying to protect existing relationships). So from a purist point of view, any encounters - even between regular playmates - must remain casual affairs. If you are interested more in the multiple/parallel relationship aspect of things, also look into polyamory (if you haven't already).
Personally I have been tiptoing the line between casual and involved... for a good few months now and I still don't know where I fit in on the swinging spectrum (or if I do). The problem is, of course, that these relationships are outside the norm and do not come with a rule book. For those of us that swinging is only about attraction and sex things may be straight-forward enough... but when walking into the territory of regular meets, fuckbuddies/friends-with-benefits, it can be hard to distinguish where "naughty fun" finishes and "proper relationship" starts.
Quote by sabalo
I think I'd be happy just being around swingers and enjoying the atmosphere without taking so much as my shoes off.
As per twos' post, socials is exactly what you are describing! Fear not - real swingers are so oversexed they won't rush over to jump you
Also a lot of people on here are fairly open about meeting socially (coffee/drink or similar), at least to begin with - so this is definitely not outside the normal range of activities. Further than that... it's up to the individuals.Lastly, on swinging and friendship - have a look at this thread:
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/402325.html
I hope I have made some sense, it's a little late :sleeping: I wish you all the best in your search.
Dunno about everyone else, swinging is like every other aspect of life, full of individuals and full of people who share the same thoughts and opinions on things.
For me swinging without socialising has no appeal whatsoever. On Saturday we stayed with friends when visiting a club with them, we have played with them in the past but we didn't this weekend because we had such good social time.
Last night our regular friends came over, I say regular because they come over every Thursday for a social night and have done for years, we have played with them too but not of a long time, we started as social friends, eventually played together and have always remained more social with them than play.
There is another couple who come to see us at least once a month, they are swingers but we have never played with them.
Another couple we have never played with are staying with us this weekend, we will not play but are really looking forward to spending some quality time with them.
In fact we have more social friends in the scene the we have play friends, when we meet new people we don't care which way it goes play or social providing the end result is more friends
For me swinging without socialising has no appeal whatsoever. On Saturday we stayed with friends when visiting a club with them, we have played with them in the past but we didn't this weekend because we had such good social time.
Last night our regular friends came over, I say regular because they come over every Thursday for a social night and have done for years, we have played with them too but not of a long time, we started as social friends, eventually played together and have always remained more social with them than play.
There is another couple who come to see us at least once a month, they are swingers but we have never played with them.
Another couple we have never played with are staying with us this weekend, we will not play but are really looking forward to spending some quality time with them.
In fact we have more social friends in the scene the we have play friends, when we meet new people we don't care which way it goes play or social providing the end result is more friends
