After having a bijou lookette at another thread got me to thinking am I just a little homophobic?
Hypothetically, if I was in a situation where I was goosed/felt up or whatever by a woman given the where when and how etc. Lets take it as a sex club in one of the 'darker' rooms say. I would probably be surprised :lol2: too say the least but I doubt I'd be angry/upset/worried
If. however it was by another man I think my reactions could be different. I don't think I would be angry as in violence or anything like that but I think i would be pissy about it. Maybe later in reflection I might feel slightly flattered I guess.
Does this make me vaguely homophobic? I have played doing mmf's and there has been incidental M/M contact but in all honesty its sort of an oops ahemm grimace carry on moment.
Seems to me to be more a macho and ego sort of thing. It's hardly surprising though given the upbringing us over a certain age have had and the conditioning we've received.
From the psychologist's point of view it's also a knee jerk reaction to the unconscious understanding that we all have innate latent homosexuality, but we've been brought up to be straight and be men's men (if you pardon the pun). There's also the conditioning that we've had not just to ignore it, but to positively deny it by knee jerk reactions like the one you had.
And to those who deny latent homosexuality, I ask to consider they last time they got just as hard watching a big cock fuck a pussy as watching that pussy on its own being wanked.
I think it's hard to control your deep-seated, instinctive responses to things/people/situations. I think though, that once you become aware of them you can start to think about them and moderate them.
I don't think anyone could blame you for being uncomfortable about physical-contact-with-sexual-overtones with anyone you don't feel comfortable about being touched by. Especially if this is done in an intrusive way without your agreement. If this causes you to react instinctively in a more negative manner that makes sense. And as you've described, genuinely accidental brushing gets a much milder negative response out of you.
I think instinctive reactions to situations are a different matter to treating people differently depending on their sexuality/race/gender/disability whatever, or holding prejudiced views. I think as long as, rationally, you know that "the gays" are no different to "the straights"* and are as different from each other as they/we are alike, and you behave accordingly, then you're fine; especially if you're aware of your instinctive responses and try to moderate them.
*= and of course the same goes for the whites, the blacks, the Polish, the Welsh or the Congolese. The Mackems, however, are a funny lot and should be tret with extreme suspicion.
i dont think your homophobic because you dont enjoy the advances of the same sex on you i think the fact that they got far enough to goose you before any one got twatted was a good sign.... if more people were of the attitude of liking the 'person' not the bits between the legs then life would be easier. were too quick to be put in a box labelled and filed away as to what others think is appropriate of us....
not enjoy sexually same sex is an opinion everyone is entitlteld to have, as long as them that dont enjoy it realise that there are them that do enjoy it so each to there own, whatever floats ya boat.. and truly how do you know you dont like something until you have tried it properly... i say gay/lesbian/bi/ straight orgies for everyone !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!get it out ya system and have fun doing it... !
I think i am a bit homophobic..(female talking by the way )
not that I mind who or what anyone does but I find I cant watch . Even snogging makes me want to turn away. I am curious about gay sex between men but if i cant look at the snogging I dont imagine i'd be able to watch the whole act.
I don't mind a laugh and a joke with girl mates and i don't recoil at a girls touch for example if I get a massage ,and I dont mind being naked together but if i honestly thought it would go further sexually I would be uncomfortable. People have often said you don't know unless oyou try it, but if you honestly have no desire to try something how can you do it just for the sake of it?
good thread Lost.
i suppose its a little unusual for us to look at whether we are ourselves sometimes wrong in out outlook and actions. I have been doing a bit of that recently.. but that's another thread!!!!
you ask the question if we consider that one could be Homophobic so I had a look at some definitions to see if i could answer the question truthfully and therefore properly.
HOMOPHOBIA
Homophobia (from Greek homós: one and the same; phóbos: fear, phobia) is a term used to describe irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuals. It can also mean "irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuality or homosexuals". Homophobic is the adjective form of this term used to describe the qualities of these characteristics while homophobe is the noun form given as a title to individuals with homophobic characteristics.
This led me onto looking at whether my, if any ,,"fear" "aversion to" or "discrimination" was irrational.
Irrationality is talking or acting without regard of rationality. Usually pejorative, the term is used to describe thinking and actions which are, or appear to be, less useful or logical than the rational alternatives. There is a clear tendency to view our own thoughts, words, and actions as rational and to see those who disagree as irrational.
personally, i dont think i am homophobic, but im sure that some might see certain things i have "against" homosexuality, if our definition of "rational" differs.
intersting stuff when one applies certain different scenarios, personalities and differing viewpoints.
hard to defend against!!
it seems, by defenition, one might only have to do/think something "against" ie, have an aversion towards, to be deemed homophobic.
I think the cut off point, and the yardstick used to to measure the "offending behaviour" by, is to look at the word " discrimination" and see whether there exists anything that seeks to discriminate.
I must admit to still being a little confused about it all. If I feel a little turned off at the prospect of myself being involved in gay sex then that surely is homophobic. Using DeeCee's dictionary definition I do have an aversion to gay sex happening, but only to me. I can quite happily sit stand or watch to a degree, but have no interest in whats going on if there is gay (man) sex happening. I have no wish to stop people being gay or trying gay stuff thats cool and if that makes the people involved happy in anyway then i would encourage it.
Maybe it is conditioning and the way in which i was brought up, nonetheless it is how I feel and I would be lying if i denied that. I would like to say I'd step back and think about it all but I already have big time, thinking could I possibly accept/enjoy gay sex but i cant get my head round the aversion i stress to myself being involved in homosexual acts. Hey if I could enjoy sex between men and women equally I think that would be great especially as a swinger. But hey I'll go on the way I do it suits me and I hold no beef with others and how they go about their sex lives.
Going on from this i guess i practice hypocrisy also as to watch Mrs Lost involved in lesbian with another woman is a totally satifying horny mind fuck also being involved with a couple having sex with them both :cool:
My sexuality in the past has never bothered me or indeed come into question, that is until I started swinging. Now I seem to find myself telling women that I chat to almost instantly that I am straight as it seems to be taken for granted that a, I am bi and b, If we have a laugh and get on I want to play with them. Only this Saturday while enjoying two men, which meant I was a tad pinned down I had a woman give me a full on snog. As gorgeous as she was, it wasn't something I wanted or agreed to and it all got a bit funny when I politely asked her to stop.
I don't see it as any different to any other type of attraction. If you're not attracted to blondes then you say politely that you are not interested, if you are not attracted to the opposite sex you say the same. It doesn't mean that you treat or think of them any differently as people.
.....if we are talking design. Are those who need IVF to conceive abnormal? (there are load of other examples but that was the first that came to mind as often I have the statement about procreation levelled at me as the reason why homosexuality is wrong)
Are those who are entitled to wear the label 'normal' those who are doing everything that the body was designed for?
whips.. what I was illustrating is that it is normal to be treated like that. I am used to it. THAT is the sad thing.
I have got to the point where it registers more with others than it does with me.
thankyou for your concern but I have learnt how to live with other's ignorance.
I am sure that your sons are a credit to their parenting. It is shame that others will be a credit to theirs.