Horny and out of control!

28 Jan 2005

Quote by Reese
How're you typing?

Seems my nipples are more talented than I gave them credit for :shock: :shock: :shock:
venus-
ooh - seems we have something in common, then - some years ago, i discovered that i could type with my penis - used to do it on the webcam, to amuse vix - in fact, i've typed this entire post using nothing but my penis - hmm, perhaps we should get your nipples and my penis together and do something novel ;-]
-reese
Scarily, it's true.

28 Jan 2005

Quote by VenusnMars
/double takes......
Easy! What the fuck are you doing with Dawn`s tits?! :shock:
Venusxxx

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Nothing....... just looking at them. :crazy:
*easy goes back to his dark room carrying Dawns boobs* :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

28 Jan 2005

Ok, not coping, not coping at all! My reply is somewhere ^^^^^^^^ up there! :crazy:
Just confused the shit out of myself! rotflmao

Venusxxx

28 Jan 2005

Reese how do you 'discover' that you can type with your penis?
I mean, it's not like discovering that Steradent removes tea stains in cups is it? lol

Bev
xx

28 Jan 2005

Quote by Reese
How're you typing?

Seems my nipples are more talented than I gave them credit for :shock: :shock: :shock:
venus-
ooh - seems we have something in common, then - some years ago, i discovered that i could type with my penis - used to do it on the webcam, to amuse vix - in fact, i've typed this entire post using nothing but my penis - hmm, perhaps we should get your nipples and my penis together and do something novel ;-]
-reese
:shock: :shock: :shock:
That is some talent!!!!!!!
Gonna get Eager to try later :twisted: :twisted:

28 Jan 2005

Quote by little gem
Gem, I don`t have one It broke! :cry:
nuff of the one liners you buggers! Cheers for that Gem! :huh:
Venusxxx

I managed to break mine too! Blew the batteries up and still havent got around to replacing it yet! redface

Maybe my talented nipples could write you a one liner to keep you amused! ;)
:rascal:
I'm having an Ann Summers party on Tuesday if you don't mind spending most of your money on travelling here instead of just buying online like sensible people lol

28 Jan 2005

ANY REAL SWINGERS ?

28 Jan 2005

Quote by PAUL247
ANY REAL SWINGERS ?

Errrrrrrr????
WTF? dunno

28 Jan 2005

Quote by KcKat
ANY REAL SWINGERS ?

Errrrrrrr????
WTF? dunno

Has anyone seen any round here recently? :dunno:

28 Jan 2005

Quote by MQ
ANY REAL SWINGERS ?

Errrrrrrr????
WTF? dunno

Has anyone seen any round here recently? :dunno:
Just sussed it out MQ.
Check out his profile - he's a Comedian! rolleyes

:roll:

28 Jan 2005

Quote by KcKat
ANY REAL SWINGERS ?

Errrrrrrr????
WTF? dunno

Has anyone seen any round here recently? :dunno:
Just sussed it out MQ.
Check out his profile - he's a Comedian! rolleyes

:roll:
So what's the punchline???? :dunno:

28 Jan 2005

Quote by foxylady 123
Try sitting on top of the washing machine while its on a spin programe and see if you have a coarrot or courgette you can use at the same time!!

:shock: :shock: :shock:
Now that's just irresponsible is that kind of advice Mrs Foxlady!
look, if you MUST use courgettes, cucumbers or marows internally, be sure to use a condom, or at the very least wrap them in clingfilm first. they have a tendency to absorb moisture, and may swell, in which case they'll need to be removed with a melon baller.
hope this helps? :P
neil x x x ;)

28 Jan 2005

Quote by neilinleeds
Try sitting on top of the washing machine while its on a spin programe and see if you have a coarrot or courgette you can use at the same time!!

:shock: :shock: :shock:
Now that's just irresponsible is that kind of advice Mrs Foxlady!
look, if you MUST use courgettes, cucumbers or marows internally, be sure to use a condom, or at the very least wrap them in clingfilm first. they have a tendency to absorb moisture, and may swell, in which case they'll need to be removed with a melon baller.
hope this helps? :P
neil x x x ;)
:shock: :shock: :shock:
really laughing hard - ya bugger smackbottom

28 Jan 2005

Quote by neilinleeds
Try sitting on top of the washing machine while its on a spin programe and see if you have a coarrot or courgette you can use at the same time!!

:shock: :shock: :shock:
Now that's just irresponsible is that kind of advice Mrs Foxlady!
look, if you MUST use courgettes, cucumbers or marows internally, be sure to use a condom, or at the very least wrap them in clingfilm first. they have a tendency to absorb moisture, and may swell, in which case they'll need to be removed with a melon baller.
hope this helps? :P
neil x x x ;)
Voice of experience? :shock:

28 Jan 2005

Quote by neilinleeds
Try sitting on top of the washing machine while its on a spin programe and see if you have a coarrot or courgette you can use at the same time!!

:shock: :shock: :shock:
Now that's just irresponsible is that kind of advice Mrs Foxlady!
look, if you MUST use courgettes, cucumbers or marows internally, be sure to use a condom, or at the very least wrap them in clingfilm first. they have a tendency to absorb moisture, and may swell, in which case they'll need to be removed with a melon baller.
hope this helps? :P
neil x x x ;)
Yes Neil, do share....in a responsible and technical manner you understand...... :twisted:
Venusxxx

28 Jan 2005

damn you're all soooooooo naive! rolleyes

it's common knowledge? dunno

right, my ex-girlfriends mum's sister's best mate, had this friend right, who heard about this woman who had to have one surgically removed, so it must be true? course in the grand scheme of things it's not nearly so embarrassing as having a lightbulb removed from your arse, but it's still summat to be avoided eh?
neil x x x ;)

28 Jan 2005

Quote by neilinleeds
damn you're all soooooooo naive! it's common knowledge?
right, my ex-girlfriends mum's sister's best mate, had this friend right, who heard about this woman who had to have one surgically removed, so it must be true? course in the grand scheme of things it's not nearly so embarrassing as having a lightbulb removed from your arse, but it's still summat to be avoided eh?
neil x x x ;)

Ah, I see, kinda reminds me of the time my best mate`s brothers, mother in law`s, boss`s, sister, ended up at the doctor`s because she forgot about the pesticides that the banana she used might have been sprayed with innocent

Venusxxx

28 Jan 2005

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

28 Jan 2005

Quote by easy

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

Suddenly I am not horny anymore.......... :shock: confused

:? :?

Venusxxx

28 Jan 2005

Quote by easy

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

see! told you didn't i! :smug:
numerous cases of fruit and root vegetable abuse there. quite how you fit an angle grinder in is something i'd prefer not to think about. me eyes were watering when they progressed to bloody turnips FFS! :shock: :shock: :shock:

Quote by Venus
Suddenly I am not horny anymore..........

well don't look at me. if you think i'm answering that crass one liner i got earlier you got another thing coming! :P
neil x x x ;)

28 Jan 2005

My sis in law is a nurse. Late one night, a neighbour came and knocked at her door asking for help. He was naked and very white. Sis in law invited him in and told him to sit down. He couldn't because he had a broom handle shoved up his bum :shock: And you lot are worried about carrots and courgettes ffs
Bev
xx

28 Jan 2005

Quote by freckledbird
My sis in law is a nurse. Late one night, a neighbour came and knocked at her door asking for help. He was naked and very white. Sis in law invited him in and told him to sit down. He couldn't because he had a broom handle shoved up his bum :shock: And you lot are worried about carrots and courgettes ffs
Bev
xx

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Was it the wife who put it there? :shock: :lol2:

28 Jan 2005

No. His boyfriend, who had caught him cheating. :shock:

28 Jan 2005

Quote by freckledbird
No. His boyfriend, who had caught him cheating. :shock:

Wish you buggers would stop making me giggle......It's hurting me belly button
smackbottom

28 Jan 2005

Quote by KcKat
No. His boyfriend, who had caught him cheating. :shock:

Wish you buggers would stop making me giggle......It's hurting me bottom
smackbottom

:shock: :shock: :shock:
You got something you wanna tell us?
:giggle:

28 Jan 2005

Quote by Libra-Love
No. His boyfriend, who had caught him cheating. :shock:

Wish you buggers would stop making me giggle......It's hurting me bottom

:shock: :shock: :shock:
You got something you wanna tell us?
:giggle:
Oi.......Where's Sarge when you need him???
Look what Libra's done to me flippin post!
:giggle: :giggle: :giggle:
have this Libra :smackbottom:

28 Jan 2005

Quote by neilinleeds
well don't look at me. if you think i'm answering that crass one liner i got earlier you got another thing coming! :P
neil x x x ;)

I wouldn`t expect you to. You are a single guy aren`t you? Therefore not a REAL swinger, therefore you are a TIMEWASTER!
I hope you appreciate the time and effort that went into that PM!! evil

Venusxxx

28 Jan 2005

Quote by KcKat
OOOOOOoooh!!! Foxy!:twisted: :twisted: I've never even thought of trying that.........
/off to look in the fridge to see if theres any courgettes left!!!!

I have a courgette, do you wanna see it?
By the way, courgettes are quite prickly too!
Chris

28 Jan 2005

Quote by marmalaid
I have a courgette, do you wanna see it?
Chris

I`d like to see your courgette...........turn around :twisted:
Venusxxx

28 Jan 2005

Quote by marmalaid
I have a courgette, do you wanna see it?
By the way, courgettes are quite prickly too!
Chris

Oooooooooh Marms, yes please :rascal: :rascal:
How big is it???