Are you always in "swinger mind frame"? Do you ever feel funny/weird/uncomfortable when you come across friends who have/will play with your playmates? I know this what the scene is all about..but is it normal to sometimes feel that way, or is it indication you're not cut out for this?
no.
i have a fight coming up in september and have 3 weeks solid training 7 hours a day so my frame of mind isnt all on sex.
i understand what you say about feeling uncomfortable coming across people youve played with but for me its always good to see them even if its just for a drink or in passing.
i think you have to keep one part of yourself for you.
and the rest for the playing. a sort of different you,that naughty girl inside that youve let loose for a bit.
I don't really socialize much with any swinging group per say, but I've never felt uncomfortable within a group where the details of each's involvement, within the group or otherwise, was fairly common knowledge. I don't feel awkward if I see former partners swopping around, and others will make assumptions based on what they perceive. I do, however believe that common rules of discretion should apply. I might be seen to leave a party with a certain partner, but, if my mate asks how it went, the details will remain confidential. Now I know people like to share details with their closest friend, and that's just human nature, it won't bother me.
I'm the same as skinny really. Doesn't bother me at all. Having sex, socialising or chatting online within the same group will always create a situation where people know intimate details about you. It goes with the territory. In my opinion that's what gives the swinging scene an exciting edge. It's that same wavelength that people can find themselves on, its something that I can connect with and enjoy. Granted there will always be certain things that may be over stepping the mark with 'detail sharing' such as certain details that you know someone else wouldn't want to become common knowledge. But then that's where common sense comes into it. I do however feel that you can enjoy the swinging scene while at the same time find trusting connections.
Granted its something that may not be for everyone.. But part of the experience is that you work out what works for you and what doesn't.
Mag ;)
I think we must be different, our world evolves around the swinging scene and the swinging community, but I don't think there is anything wrong with that.
For the last 13 years or so I have worked in the swinging industry, at Chameleons, Utopia, Papillon des Alpes (swingers hotel in the alps), my own guest house that catered exclusively to swingers visiting chameleons and now the same thing in the Stoke area.
Every friend we have is a swinger and we have met them in the scene some we play with some we don't.
But swinging does not rule my life in the same way that your (anyones) work rules thier lives, true it influences it but not rules.
Almost every Thursday we meet up with friends that we have known for around 5 years, we have played with them on 4 occasions and will probably do so again, but every week we meet up for a social night, we have been on holiday together, to the cinema, bowling and often go out for a meal but mostly we get together for an evening of music, socialising and playing games on the Wii.
On Saturday night a couple we have also known for about 5 years came over from Nottingham to go to atlantisEVOLUTION with us, we have never played with them, one day we might, who cares, we had a great night with them at the club and arranged to get together again next Saturday to visit Xotix Xtreme in Heanor, Derby, we also met up with them a week last Friday to visit atlantis.
There are many other friends we meet socially, some we have played with some we have not.
One of the things that makes the friendships so good is that we can talk freely about almost anything, we don't have to hide our lifestyle and over the years we have found that once you can discuss intimate sex life details, being honest about anything else becomes easier.
We think being so "like minded" in our beliefs enhances friendships.
As for Swinging itself, the history of mankind shows that swingers are normal and polywotsits are the strange ones.
Name me something in your life that you need to do or enjoy doing and where you don't need variety ? work, even the factories realised many years ago that a production line does not produce as much if there is no variety for the workers, in your house do you have the same colour scheme, pictures, ornaments in every room ?
Humans thrive on variety, the same applies to sex, even monogomous couples like to try different positions, locations, outfits etc. You can love one person but love and sex are two different things, I make love to Sasha but I have sex with other women, because I enjoy variety.
I accept that once you are on the scene details of just about everything will be shared. Some people are more gossipy than others, have already been told that details of at least one of our meets has been discussed with others. I think that's always going to happen you cant avoid it. However different from most of those above I distance us from friendships in a way. We go to clubs, we meet random people, we play, we leave feedback and that's how I like it. I don't particularly feel the need to have swinging friends I don't feel the need to discuss swinging. We can fit everything we need from the scene into the nights we go out on. We have friends from here who we met way back when who we meet up with once in a while we never play and never will. When we meet with them its literally just a social, don't think swinging or sex hardly ever gets brought up.
I worked it out quickly after joining that most people (well, the women that are/were here mainly) are pretty discrete about who does what with who.
In person though, theres a lot of chat between them and when there used to be a lot of munchies it was quite obvious who was going off with who.
Theres a big difference between a public forum and chat between mutual friends. I've previously asked people to amend posts which make it obvious we've met up but on the other side i've had several playmates tell me i'd been 'recommended' by a previous meet- and i'd be stupid if i'd not indulged in the resulting fun from that recommendation :twisted: :rascal:
Many people in swingworld value discretion and trust very highly and you'll do yourself no favours if you break that.
(hope that makes sense, too much work and not enough sleep)
Maybe it's something a lot of people don't think about when they join a "virtual" swinging pool..virtual=hundreds of anonymous users out there, so what are the chances! But I guess the number of GENUINE users is not that high in each area, so it becomes inevitable.. 
