How did you bring the subject up to your other half?

26 Apr 2006

Hi,
I have been curious and could say eager about the swinging lifestyle for quite some time now.
I have spoke about it with my partner, but never really talked in depth about it.
It has mainly been mentioned either in passing conversation or when there is something in the media about it. She doesn't seem put off, or as some people would be, disgusted by the thoughts of it and has also commented on how she would possibly feel in a situation with both another man and woman. We have not really had a conversation about us attempting to find others to have fun with.
I am just curious as to how others have approached the subject, as obviously you do not want your other half to think your a complete perv who just wants to get his end away or see her going down on a woman.
Look forward to any replys.
P

26 Apr 2006

Well can't speak from personal experience as we met through the 'swinging scene' and had both 'swung' for a long time as singles. wink

As has been said many times elsewhere you should never try and persuade anyone to do anything they don't want to BUT if you really are sure that your partner seems interested then just keep dropping things into conversations, maybe look at the websites of some of the nearest clubs together and just see how much interest you are getting. Hope all goes well for you both..but PLEASE only ever swing if/when you are both 100% sure.

26 Apr 2006

It depends how openly you talk about things as a couple generally. If your sex life isn't something you talk about normally then you may have a problem.
I wouldn't broach the subject while shopping in Tescos, maybe a light hearted conversation about a tv program you've seen, or maybe when she's feeling horny anyway, you never know she may surprise you and phone a friend.
H.x

26 Apr 2006

Both sound like good advice!
I would never try and force it upon her, nor make her feel bad if she saidd she wasnt interested, not that kind of lad!
Although the thought of her calling a friend, like that idea :P
P

26 Apr 2006

I approached it with my ex by being forthright and blunt. I told her about my lifestyle and what it involved, making sure to dispell the myths and common stereotypes. She never went for it though and we split up, although for reasons unrelated to swinging.
There is no real good method to bring it up as something to do together. You could either tread around it, slowing building up to it before mentioning it plainly, or you could go for the jugular and say "I want to try this, what do you think of us doing it together?". Either way there's no guarantee she'd reply as you would expect.
But good luck with it, and respect her wishes whatever they are. smile

Quote by H-x
you never know she may surprise you and phone a friend.
H.x

As long as it's not Chris Tarrant :shock:

26 Apr 2006

Easy
Met him here :twisted:
Didn't have to do any explaining lol

26 Apr 2006

Well done, you got rid of 'Christ Tarrant' before I could type my joke wink

26 Apr 2006

Quote by Sarah
Easy
Met him here :twisted:
Didn't have to do any explaining

Ditto....makes life so much easier doesn't it? wink

26 Apr 2006

me being the quiet shy person i am wink

Rich asked me if id like to try a club and purely for the curiousity, i said yes.
I blame him for corrupting me biggrin

He reckons ya can only corrupt the corruptable.
dee

27 Apr 2006

Me and ex hubby talked about trying an FFM 3some a few times but never got around to doing anything about it so when I became single again, I decided to give it a go. Not sure how I'll broach the subject with any future partner until the time comes ( unless I get together with someone from here that is though unlikely ) rolleyes

27 Apr 2006

Like Flidais, I was very fortunate to have met my better half in a Swinging situation, so the subject never arose. But like many how have posted here have commented, be honest, dont push the subject and always respect the decision that she makes.
Good Luck! :thumbup:

27 Apr 2006

We'd spoken about swinging for a couple of years but it still came as a bit of a shock to Ian when I text him at work
"Just thought I'd let you know I've placed an ad on a swinging site"
Seemed to do all the explaining pretty well though biggrin

27 Apr 2006

There aren't many women who haven't yet already considered various 'adult' alternatives.
So she has probably already asked herself and come to her own conclusions, whether you realise that or not, and she probably already has the reply. But you'll need to ask the question to get it.

27 Apr 2006

I (Mr) had always been turned on by the idea of my partner with another much deliberating (years?) and LOTS of dutch courage one night, I brought up the idea.(not just the fantasy, but the urge to actually do something about it)
She found it cute how I`d bottled it up for so long. We then chose the internet as a place to slowly discover that so many people out there were infact just NORMAL people like us. :shock: :shock: :shock:
By the time we had made contacts and chatted the whole girl/girl thing had disappeared and turned into an urge to meet couples. To both of us, from the beginning, it seemed to be, and still is, a wonderful diversion from the normality of normal life and "normal" rolleyes

people.
foxys x

27 Apr 2006

Quote by Sassy-Seren
... ( unless I get together with someone from here that is though unlikely )

:rascal: & I have me own bucket!

27 Apr 2006

Good idea, following the suggestion of casual conversation, is to ask, even your friends if you want, to find out what fantasies they like, attraction to film stars other people etc,. Sometimes you get a smile and a polite refusal to say but sometimes you are allowed a secret! Maybe that is worth developing?
Also, it is tempting to discuss your wishes to see the others reaction but really you want them to be fulfilled too? Perhaps finding their wishes and allowing them to go there gets you and your wishes? My problem was there was almost no common ground!
Shay

27 Apr 2006

well mr f met mrs f while he was married to someone else and we had a fling we used to go to quiet spots to have some fun which turned out to be dogging sites, so when mr f got a divorce and settled with mrs f we had sort of been dogging lol

so then mr f asked mrs f about swinging and heared there was a club in sheffield, so mr f went into a sex shop and asked the lady behind the counter about it she filled him in and we took it from there :lol: :lol: :lol:

27 Apr 2006

Met my other half on here so no probs ;-)
Tina xxx

27 Apr 2006

I first got introduced the swinging scene through playing cards with a guy I kinda liked when I lived abroad as part of an exchange programme. He told me he used to be a swinger with his previous partner. He told me enough to dangle a curiousity baited carrot infront of my face and I did all the questioning, asking and demanded to be taken to a swingers club after a few months of me saying never !! lol

He left it to me and didn't push at all. The less he told me about it the more I wanted to know! :lol: Then I found this place and erm.... the rest is history so they say! ;) biggrin

Gem. x

27 Apr 2006

hehehe good question!
I played with a female and it evolved from there!
we just simply talk about things quite a bit and if one of us has an idea we just blurt it out!
shaz x

27 Apr 2006

Quote by g_shock_2000_99
Hi,
I have been curious and could say eager about the swinging lifestyle for quite some time now.
I have spoke about it with my partner, but never really talked in depth about it.
It has mainly been mentioned either in passing conversation or when there is something in the media about it. She doesn't seem put off, or as some people would be, disgusted by the thoughts of it and has also commented on how she would possibly feel in a situation with both another man and woman. We have not really had a conversation about us attempting to find others to have fun with.
I am just curious as to how others have approached the subject, as obviously you do not want your other half to think your a complete perv who just wants to get his end away or see her going down on a woman.
Look forward to any replys.
P

You could start by showing her your account on here
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

27 Apr 2006

Quote by blonde
Hi,
I have been curious and could say eager about the swinging lifestyle for quite some time now.
I have spoke about it with my partner, but never really talked in depth about it.
It has mainly been mentioned either in passing conversation or when there is something in the media about it. She doesn't seem put off, or as some people would be, disgusted by the thoughts of it and has also commented on how she would possibly feel in a situation with both another man and woman. We have not really had a conversation about us attempting to find others to have fun with.
I am just curious as to how others have approached the subject, as obviously you do not want your other half to think your a complete perv who just wants to get his end away or see her going down on a woman.
Look forward to any replys.
P

You could start by showing her your account on here
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Don't knock it till you tried it :P :P