I've been trying to catch up recently and the one thing I keep on thinking to myself is the above...
How difficult can it be to not reply to something that you don't agree with.
Surely, if someone posts something that they care about, or express how they are feeling is it not common sense that people who agree or have sympathy for them will reply.
Why the fluck do people feel the need to pull them down further.
I appreciate that people are entitled to their own opinions and the arguement RE: open debates.... but if someone feels strongly about something, or is indeed seeking sympathy without asking and you realise this, why not just let them and allow their friends to respond? Some things just shouldn't be debated, and peoples feelings are one of them.
I keep reading that the people posting should do so via PM..... but flip the coin and look at the other side.... DON"T REPLY.
If it has annoyed you, let it annoy you and quietly move on (even if I am being fairly contradictory by posting this! :doh: ) to a post that does more suit you.
Just a thought guys.
J
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How Difficult Can It Be?
Sex God
If people only want to hear from their sycophants, they can PM them. Posting in an open forum is an invitation for all and sundry to respond. Anyway, if they don't get the responses they want, they can always harass the mods until they lock it. 
J...good points well made.
I for one have noticed a number of threads recently where things have been said which I don't like. I learnt a long time ago in "real life" that it's sometimes best to bite your tongue. Although "in here" I could hide behind a certain amount of annonimity and wade into a flame war, what's the point? It does no good in the long run. Your views will at best be ignored, at worst incite further retaliations.
So, live and let live, and chill dudes!
:cheers:
I for one have noticed a number of threads recently where things have been said which I don't like. I learnt a long time ago in "real life" that it's sometimes best to bite your tongue. Although "in here" I could hide behind a certain amount of annonimity and wade into a flame war, what's the point? It does no good in the long run. Your views will at best be ignored, at worst incite further retaliations.
So, live and let live, and chill dudes!
:cheers:
Sex God
:roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: Just as all the aggro has subsided someone comes along to resurrect it . . . .
Sex God
Quote by Libra-Love
:P I could be wrong but I think what J is saying is, can we not resolve the aggro that has been served up lately with an adult mentality rather than being antagonistic
I could also be wrong, but that's not how I read it. :dunno:
Ice, I understand what you mean but surely you recognise one post to talk to their 50 friends is easier than 50 PM's.
cheers Libra...
your three lines did it better than my 20!!!
must learn to stop going on.
Cu3.... I know. I don't want to start another slanging match... is definitely not my intention.
will stop now!!
J
xx
cheers Libra...
your three lines did it better than my 20!!!
must learn to stop going on.
Cu3.... I know. I don't want to start another slanging match... is definitely not my intention.
will stop now!!
J
xx
Sex God
Quote by J
Ice, I understand what you mean but surely you recognise one post to talk to their 50 friends is easier than 50 PM's.
Fair comment and you're right of course.
I just think when the initial post is aggressive, however it's couched, aggressive responses are fairly inevitable.
I mean, just as a purely hypothetical example, if I were to post a rage against women because a woman upset me, I might be looking for some brotherly support, but I should hardly be surprised if the women leaped in and told me to stop whingeing.
Quote by Ice Pie
Ice, I understand what you mean but surely you recognise one post to talk to their 50 friends is easier than 50 PM's.
Fair comment and you're right of course.
I just think when the initial post is aggressive, however it's couched, aggressive responses are fairly inevitable.
I mean, just as a purely hypothetical example, if I were to post a rage against women because a woman upset me, I might be looking for some brotherly support, but I should hardly be surprised if the women leaped in and told me to stop whingeing.
true.
I guess we could talk about this till the cows come home and still not have an outcome where somebody would not have something else to say.
Bloody freedom of speech. and thought. and car parks.
hang on.... just gonna let Daisy in.
Sex God
Quote by J
Ice, I understand what you mean but surely you recognise one post to talk to their 50 friends is easier than 50 PM's.
Fair comment and you're right of course.
I just think when the initial post is aggressive, however it's couched, aggressive responses are fairly inevitable.
I mean, just as a purely hypothetical example, if I were to post a rage against women because a woman upset me, I might be looking for some brotherly support, but I should hardly be surprised if the women leaped in and told me to stop whingeing.
true.
I guess we could talk about this till the cows come home and still not have an outcome where somebody would not have something else to say.
Bloody freedom of speech. and thought. and car parks.
hang on.... just gonna let Daisy in.
Anyway, it's not all bad. Just because some people can't handle being disagreed with, that's no reason to suggest we should never disagree. I think today's thread on "verification" illustrates the point perfectly: Some opposing views expressed forcefully, but no dummy throwing and no demands for the thread to be locked just because someone said something someone else didn't agree with. I thought it was a cracking debate.
Quote by J
I've been trying to catch up recently and the one thing I keep on thinking to myself is the above...
How difficult can it be to not reply to something that you don't agree with.
Surely, if someone posts something that they care about, or express how they are feeling is it not common sense that people who agree or have sympathy for them will reply.
Why the fluck do people feel the need to pull them down further.
I appreciate that people are entitled to their own opinions and the arguement RE: open debates.... but if someone feels strongly about something, or is indeed seeking sympathy without asking and you realise this, why not just let them and allow their friends to respond? Some things just shouldn't be debated, and peoples feelings are one of them.
I keep reading that the people posting should do so via PM..... but flip the coin and look at the other side.... DON"T REPLY.
If it has annoyed you, let it annoy you and quietly move on (even if I am being fairly contradictory by posting this! :doh: ) to a post that does more suit you.
Just a thought guys.
J
My quick response would be - opinions can be debated - because we all have different ones. So if you post an opinion - you can expect it to be debated.
If someone expresses how they are feeling, you cannot debate whether or not they really feel that way - only whether or not they should be posting it.
BTW - stealing Ice's example - saying "I feel all women are :fuckinghell: " would not be a feeling, but an opinion.
I just think when the initial post is aggressive, however it's couched, aggressive responses are fairly inevitable.Unfortunately, very true. Behaviour Breeds Behaviour. If we respond to an aggresive post, we tend to post in the same way. When we reply to a thoughtful post, we tend to respond in the same way.
The contradiction is, we all like to think of ourselves as individuals, not controlled by the actions of others. Yet here we are, letting our behaviour be controlled by someone else.
lhk
Sex God
Pies right of course as bloody usual . But J has it right too .
Truth is debate is only really worth it if anyone involved in the debate is taking something from it .
I openly admit ( like I had to tell you ) that I can be a tad forthright with my opinion , to the point of terminal pedantry , but as soon as I realise that people are taking nothing from it then it becomes pointless . Arguament just to hurt or embarass people is never pleasurable and its frankly uneccessary on a site where there are so many worthy and intelligent people to bounce your ideas off of.
Often the trouble with net forums is the chinese whisper style of communication , where someone new to a thread reads the last two or three posts and then replies just on the basis of that -often completely missing the point .Then of course in such a liberal environment as SH you will also get quite a few who strive to agree with absolutely everyone and lend equal weight to absolutely every point of view , as if having a point of view is what mattered and the subject matter was irrelevant .
Either way its inevitable on here as it is in life that now and then you'll bump into someone who either doesnt have the will or the desire to listen to your point of view , and of course there will be those who simply want support and shun any form of discussion in favour of plain old sycophancy. Whatever the motives are if it just becomes a slanging match it dull and unproductive , and I for one would simply step away and let it dry up .
I hope I always have the strength to do that , after all its just an internet forum ..........isnt it ?
G
Truth is debate is only really worth it if anyone involved in the debate is taking something from it .
I openly admit ( like I had to tell you ) that I can be a tad forthright with my opinion , to the point of terminal pedantry , but as soon as I realise that people are taking nothing from it then it becomes pointless . Arguament just to hurt or embarass people is never pleasurable and its frankly uneccessary on a site where there are so many worthy and intelligent people to bounce your ideas off of.
Often the trouble with net forums is the chinese whisper style of communication , where someone new to a thread reads the last two or three posts and then replies just on the basis of that -often completely missing the point .Then of course in such a liberal environment as SH you will also get quite a few who strive to agree with absolutely everyone and lend equal weight to absolutely every point of view , as if having a point of view is what mattered and the subject matter was irrelevant .
Either way its inevitable on here as it is in life that now and then you'll bump into someone who either doesnt have the will or the desire to listen to your point of view , and of course there will be those who simply want support and shun any form of discussion in favour of plain old sycophancy. Whatever the motives are if it just becomes a slanging match it dull and unproductive , and I for one would simply step away and let it dry up .
I hope I always have the strength to do that , after all its just an internet forum ..........isnt it ?
G
Now THIS is more like it! I`ve been itching to discuss such stances, but thought `maybe not at the moment`......... :uhoh:
If things have settled enough for this thread to carry on in this vein I`d be more than happy to contribute. (After a good nights sleep!)
If not, then apologies for bumping it!
Venusxxx
If things have settled enough for this thread to carry on in this vein I`d be more than happy to contribute. (After a good nights sleep!)
If not, then apologies for bumping it!
Venusxxx
I could hide behind a certain amount of annonimity and wade into a flame war, what's the point?
There's a fairly unique(*) property in this forum that doesn't really exist in most others.
This forum is largely about people getting together in person, face to face, at muches and parties and the like. It's much harder to remain anonymous if you are on here and intending to meet, or have met, the people behind the posts. Treat others as you would if you were meeting them in person. A point I've put across recently elsewhere though for slightly different reasons maybe.
(*) Yup, a total misuse of the word 'unique', but then I am an illiterate muppet
Quote by zootle
I could hide behind a certain amount of annonimity and wade into a flame war, what's the point?
There's a fairly unique(*) property in this forum that doesn't really exist in most others.
This forum is largely about people getting together in person, face to face, at muches and parties and the like. It's much harder to remain anonymous if you are on here and intending to meet, or have met, the people behind the posts. Treat others as you would if you were meeting them in person. A point I've put across recently elsewhere though for slightly different reasons maybe.
(*) Yup, a total misuse of the word 'unique', but then I am an illiterate muppet
That is so true and well said! Those of you who think this forum in nothing "more than a website" are quite wrong. As I have said elsewhere this site is about "interpersonal relationships". The people behind the posts are real. Many of us have met and bonded in various ways, some physically, others intellectually and/or humorously and often in my experience on all three levels at once. The quality of the people on this site is unique, unlike anything I have encountered elsewhere. Maybe it's to do with the fact that they are experimental, that they are adventurous, that they are openminded and liberal, that they are able to negotiate complex emotional issues, that they realise they are equal to others and not superior to them and that we all share similar needs and desires, hopes and fears. Maybe it is all of these things that make this forum unique and special and the reason why others want to join it. What we have here is more than a typical website as is promotes real life encounters beyond the limitations of cyberspace.
LC
