Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login

How do I encourage him?

last reply
10 replies
1.0k views
2 watchers
0 likes
Hi people!
biggrin
My partner of 2 and a half years have just invited his mate to join us in a threesome.
Hi mate, Matt, is fit and gorgeous and I am desparate to have him!
My partner wants it too! Upon asking Matt and texting dirty messages to him, he has agreed and wants it too.
Matt's marriage isn't going too well at the moment and he wants the experience with us.
I was just wondering if anyone had any advice on what I could do to encourage Matt and make him comfortable and really excited about doing it? I know all three of us want it but I just want to ensure that it happens and keep up the excitement and anticipation about it!
I want to get Matt so excited that he is absolutely bursting to come round! wink
If you are a man what would work for you and if you've been in this situation some help and advice would be greatly appreciated!! smile
My advice is FFS don't do it!
If this guy's marriage is in trouble, a bonkathon with two couple eager to get their mits on him will only make things WORSE! And then, where would you all be?
A perfect recipe for the divorce court if you ask me...
Hxx
Got to agreee with Heather. If his marriage is in trouble then this wont help at all...
Give this one a miss
Paul
Keep talking to him and wait for his divorce to finalise before you actually do anything.
How do you encourage him? In two words - you don't.
This guy really has to get his head together and concentrate on his marriage, whatever the result - conciliation or divorce. Only then can he be in an informed position about whether to join you for a threesome. If his marriage is reconciled, you may find he really doesn't want to join you after all.
I totally agree with my esteemed colleagues. You need to take some responsibility here and back off until the times are more appropriate.
Sappho
im sorry, but im glad you are not my friend.. how could you even consider this.
IMHO, i would say the experience would be much more fun and enhanced if Matt's marriage was in a better state of repair. Then maybe he wouldnt be using you to ignore his problems. his wife might even be able to join in. Encouraging him to have an affair is most definitly NOT the way to go, now matter how much you both want it. And what happens if half way through you decide you dont want it after all, or your partner decides he doesnt? youve put him and yourselves in a bad position then! I know thats a risk you take with swinging, but i seriously think you need to put this one on the back burner till Matt knows what he wasnts from life and his marriage.
Sorry for all the negative responses, but I reckon you should do it, and try and treat it as just a one off. Go out for a drink (or two or three) and then when it's all over blame it on the booze. It worked for me a long time ago and nobody suffered as we were all sensible adults.
Quote by Gazer
Sorry for all the negative responses, but I reckon you should do it, and try and treat it as just a one off. Go out for a drink (or two or three) and then when it's all over blame it on the booze. It worked for me a long time ago and nobody suffered as we were all sensible adults.

Why apologise for other people's responses? In this case the negative ones are the right ones. Relying on people being sensible adults just because it happened once is dodgy in the extreme. My advice would be - Don' do it.
I have to say i agree with the general feeling on this one,if my marraige was is a poor state then the last thing id want steve to go and do would be to go and have a 3some his marraige was stable and his wife consented then it would be a completely different choice,but in this instance then you should definately leave him to sort out his life.
yummymummy i am curious as to whether you expected the replies you have got from this,and has it changed your mind at all. confused