Warming the Bed
So being completely new to this me and Katy want to find the right couple before we take the plunge. Just Wondered How other couples went about finding the right couple for their first time and how long it took to find them?
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How long?
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The first thing to remember is that it is not a race, your first experience could be wonderfull or a disaster, that is up to you.
Take your time, discuss what you want to do, remember the basics for discussion, do you want to kiss the people you decide to play with, do you want to swap partners or just have the same room fun with your own partners and lots of other aspects. Decide on them first, you will probably with time expand your meeting criteria but it is good to have a basis to start with that you will both feel comfortable with.
It could take a very long time to find a couple you want to meet, you will probably get a lot of offers but consider what could go wrong before you consider how much fun it will be, knowing the downside will make the upside so much easier to find.
Personally I would advise getting yourselves out to a pub social, no play tends to take place at them but you can make some new friends and chat 1 to 1 about what to expect.
Better still would be to get to a club Like the Attic in Bristol or Chameleons in Newport, there you can see what happens without any pressure to join in until your comfortable to do so
Take your time, discuss what you want to do, remember the basics for discussion, do you want to kiss the people you decide to play with, do you want to swap partners or just have the same room fun with your own partners and lots of other aspects. Decide on them first, you will probably with time expand your meeting criteria but it is good to have a basis to start with that you will both feel comfortable with.
It could take a very long time to find a couple you want to meet, you will probably get a lot of offers but consider what could go wrong before you consider how much fun it will be, knowing the downside will make the upside so much easier to find.
Personally I would advise getting yourselves out to a pub social, no play tends to take place at them but you can make some new friends and chat 1 to 1 about what to expect.
Better still would be to get to a club Like the Attic in Bristol or Chameleons in Newport, there you can see what happens without any pressure to join in until your comfortable to do so
Sex God
We were swinging long before we joined any sites and I'm so glad we were! I think that if you are looking for possible candidates for your first experience on a website, there is a lot of pressure on both parties to get it right and too many reasons to put it off. If you think back to your first ever shag, would you have made arrangements to loose your virginity with someone you had never met?
We were going to swinging clubs long before we were on here. There was the right atmosphere, we'd not arranged to meet anyone there but chatted to people in the bar prior to playing, knew we fancied them and so there was no worries of 'how do we get out of it if we dont like them?'
I really feel that this is the way to go, or a social event if you want to meet people without playing.
Totally agree with MidsCouple though, in that you need to know exactly what you're looking for out of playing, what your boundaries are, etc. We even had a safe word so that if we were playing and one of didnt like it, we could use the word and the other would know that play had to stop without the awkwardness of someone saying "STOP!" It's best to be safe and know exactly what you are both 'allowed' to do. Remember, you cant take anything back.
Good luck in your search x
We were going to swinging clubs long before we were on here. There was the right atmosphere, we'd not arranged to meet anyone there but chatted to people in the bar prior to playing, knew we fancied them and so there was no worries of 'how do we get out of it if we dont like them?'
I really feel that this is the way to go, or a social event if you want to meet people without playing.
Totally agree with MidsCouple though, in that you need to know exactly what you're looking for out of playing, what your boundaries are, etc. We even had a safe word so that if we were playing and one of didnt like it, we could use the word and the other would know that play had to stop without the awkwardness of someone saying "STOP!" It's best to be safe and know exactly what you are both 'allowed' to do. Remember, you cant take anything back.
Good luck in your search x
Sex God
Will all depend on your own personal circumstances it moves at various speeds for everyone and some never find anyone. We are probably a bad example have been here since 2005 but didnt play until about 8 months ago. Hows that for a wait 
Life stuff and other stuff got in the way. We had hosted 3 socials and a munch net result couple of kiss's that was all. Things changed we tried new stuff and it all took off. Now we are not sure if we like all of what we have been doing 
??: so are taking it easy for a while. Its one of my fave sayings but
Horses for course's
Sure you will find your level.
Life stuff and other stuff got in the way. We had hosted 3 socials and a munch net result couple of kiss's that was all. Things changed we tried new stuff and it all took off. Now we are not sure if we like all of what we have been doing ??: so are taking it easy for a while. Its one of my fave sayings butHorses for course's
Sure you will find your level.
Sex God
Quote by tweeky
Will all depend on your own personal circumstances it moves at various speeds for everyone and some never find anyone. We are probably a bad example have been here since 2005 but didnt play until about 8 months ago. Hows that for a wait
Horses for course's
Sure you will find your level.
:eeek::eeek::eeek::eeek::eeek::eeek::eeek::eeek: Gosh Tweeky!
All good advise above. I think the best advise is speed, or lack of it, take things slowly and meet the couple before hand on neutral ground with no intentions of swinging that time.
Sex God
You will become aware, as you use the sight, that not all members are who they claim to be. An example might be that a so called couple is in fact a guy on his own. You can see how taking time to verify, the girls speaking together beforehand for instance, is well worthwhile. Lots of genuine members on site are no doubt able to give further important advice, and of course the site has it's own safety guidelines.
Sexpert
It took me 3yrs to find the chatrooms after I joined; before that I mailed a few people with absolutely no reply (I did get the occasional bi man mail me)
For me chat was fun and an opportunity to get my personality across (and really get the measure of other people too). I was there for a couple of months when I found someone I liked the idea of meeting.
We had a 3hr conversation, which got very deep, in the end and we both decided we wanted to meet...20hrs later we did.
In my opinion you don't have to spend lots of time getting to know people; after all you meet new people every day in your normal life and are quite capable getting on with them.
To qualify that I would say that you need to "screen hard" for what you want and to make sure they are worthy. So get right into their heads, find out how they tick etc.
Good luck with it.
For me chat was fun and an opportunity to get my personality across (and really get the measure of other people too). I was there for a couple of months when I found someone I liked the idea of meeting.
We had a 3hr conversation, which got very deep, in the end and we both decided we wanted to meet...20hrs later we did.
In my opinion you don't have to spend lots of time getting to know people; after all you meet new people every day in your normal life and are quite capable getting on with them.
To qualify that I would say that you need to "screen hard" for what you want and to make sure they are worthy. So get right into their heads, find out how they tick etc.
Good luck with it.
Sexpert
Quote by Dave__Notts
So get right into their heads, find out how they tick etc.
The last person to do that with me was sectioned :silly:
Dave_Notts
If you can't handle the heat....
Quote by Derek_kelp
It took me 3yrs to find the chatrooms after I joined; before that I mailed a few people with absolutely no reply (I did get the occasional bi man mail me)
For me chat was fun and an opportunity to get my personality across (and really get the measure of other people too). I was there for a couple of months when I found someone I liked the idea of meeting.
We had a 3hr conversation, which got very deep, in the end and we both decided we wanted to meet...20hrs later we did.
In my opinion you don't have to spend lots of time getting to know people; after all you meet new people every day in your normal life and are quite capable getting on with them.
To qualify that I would say that you need to "screen hard" for what you want and to make sure they are worthy. So get right into their heads, find out how they tick etc.
Good luck with it.
I agree with parts of the above, but the truth is we are all right in how we approach the scene, and we are all wrong.
For us, our profile is our shop window, we try to give everyone not only the information they need to decide if we are what they are looking for but also a small insight into our personalities, we try to convey our sense of humour and what we are looking for whilst at the same time showing through pictures and text what we have to offer.
The problem is that not everyone reads profiles, not everyone uses the forums, not everyone uses the chatrooms, and even those that do, do so for different reasons, some simply use profiles to view pictures, some don't like to read long profiles, some don't like short ones, in chat some people are only there to view cams, very few have in depth conversations though some do. So, in using the site the way we like to, we often put people off, others using the site the way they want to put us off.
We view one line profiles as "can't be bothered making any effort", no pictures as more hardened, swinging with anyone with no regards for physical attraction, or perhaps even having something to hide, we know that this is not always the case but it does save a lot of time spent asking for pics and information, we just like to read a profile, see a few pictures (of both partners in the case of a couple) and take it from there. That is us, you have to do what your happy and comfortable with.
I suppose what I am saying is that the only real way to get to know people is in person, the sites are good for initial contact but we have found our best successes in going to socials and clubs or meeting people quickly after the initial contact. We always meet on a "no strings" basis meaning that we meet in the hope that we will all be compatible and want to take things further but don't mind if it doesn't lead to more, we always find that we have a good social time, we always have a laugh and always make some new friends, once in a while, chemistry clicks in and we have a lot of fun.
But it has to be each to thier own in how they use sites, go to socials, clubs or parties or not, write thier profile, use the chatrooms and everything else, what suits one person will not suit the next.
Just find your own comfort levels with the way you approach the scene and the people in it.
Warming the Bed
thanks for all the replies guys, really appreciate you all taking time out to advise us. We're thinking of maybe going to a munch, that way theres no pressure and we can hopefully get to meet a few of you!
Sex God
Quote by joe_katy
thanks for all the replies guys, really appreciate you all taking time out to advise us. We're thinking of maybe going to a munch, that way theres no pressure and we can hopefully get to meet a few of you!
Excellent idea...most certainly the way forward.
Quote by skinny
thanks for all the replies guys, really appreciate you all taking time out to advise us. We're thinking of maybe going to a munch, that way theres no pressure and we can hopefully get to meet a few of you!
Excellent idea...most certainly the way forward.
Ditto! And where you guys are is one of the best places to be for great munches!
Warming the Bed
well we say this, and then Katy decides to put out an advert for a female interested in a threesome. Xmas present apparantly
