How many hoops would YOU jump through?

Please no one line E-Mails
I am a horny 44 year old size 12 lady who is looking for a guy or a group of guys to come all the way up here and satisfy my needs.
I do have to tell you that there is a long series of interviews before your chosen.
Some written, some oral, some practical and some athletic.
I also have some important rules.
1 You must be under 30
2. You must be good looking.
3 you must have a good figure.
4 you must not be fat.
5 you must have a good size dick.
6 you must be clean.
7 you must be drug free.
8 you must be healthy.
9 you must have a full head of hair.
10 You must have no beard.
11 You must be str8.
12 You must have MSN Messenger (to chat first)
13 You must have a webcam where we can see if we are compatible.
14 You must send an e-mail with more than just one line telling me all about you..
15 YOU MUST NOT SEND A PHOTO.
16 You must be happy to share me with others.
17 You must like putting me first
18 You must be not at all pushy
19 You must know my partner will also be present and will join in, if you bring a female partner you must know I am str8 and will not allow a female to join in, though she can play with other group members in another room.
20 You must read, understand and follow all the rules.
21 You must like rules
you must include your MSN messenger ID.

male 54 looking for nsa fun with female in blackpool on the above date, drop me a line and lets see if we like the same things.

Quote by Sarah1448
well I think that rules out just about all males on this site :lol:

Quote by mal609
This is an actual ad from Couples seeking Males. I'm all for freedom of choice and being able to pick exactly who you want to shag............. but THIS many rules???????? :shock:
(I have edited some of the content, which, although relevent to the ad, is not relevent to this post)
Please no one line E-Mails
I am a horny 44 year old size 12 lady who is looking for a guy or a group of guys to come all the way up here and satisfy my needs.
I do have to tell you that there is a long series of interviews before your chosen.
Some written, some oral, some practical and some athletic.
I also have some important rules.
1 You must be under 30
2. You must be good looking.
3 you must have a good figure.
4 you must not be fat.
5 you must have a good size dick.
6 you must be clean.
7 you must be drug free.
8 you must be healthy.
9 you must have a full head of hair.
10 You must have no beard.
11 You must be str8.
12 You must have MSN Messenger (to chat first)
13 You must have a webcam where we can see if we are compatible.
14 You must send an e-mail with more than just one line telling me all about you..
15 YOU MUST NOT SEND A PHOTO.
16 You must be happy to share me with others.
17 You must like putting me first
18 You must be not at all pushy
19 You must know my partner will also be present and will join in, if you bring a female partner you must know I am str8 and will not allow a female to join in, though she can play with other group members in another room.
20 You must read, understand and follow all the rules.
21 You must like rules
you must include your MSN messenger ID.

Dear little miss fussy knickers,
I simply love Star trek and would love to be assimalated just like the borg. It has always been my ambition to be part of a collective and take orders like a drone because I can't think for myself at all.
I'd really love you to be more specfic to what you wanted.
You must contact me about my reply within 2.4 seconds of me posting it to you and tell me to do anything you like. When we meet it must be a tuesday that falls on the date of the 26th, full moon and the pink flowers must be open on my white azela bush.
oh, by the way.... fancy a shag? :rascal:

Quote by little gem
Possible reply......

Dear little miss fussy knickers,
I simply love Star trek and would love to be assimalated just like the borg. It has always been my ambition to be part of a collective and take orders like a drone because I can't think for myself at all.
I'd really love you to be more specfic to what you wanted.
You must contact me about my reply within 2.4 seconds of me posting it to you and tell me to do anything you like. When we meet it must be a tuesday that falls on the date of the 26th, full moon and the pink flowers must be open on my white azela bush.
oh, by the way.... fancy a shag? :rascal:

Quote by little gem
....... although the lycra more than made up for her face!

Quote by bluexxx
She had a face? :shock: Shit, I forgot to look that far up

Quote by mal609
This is an actual ad from Couples seeking Males. I'm all for freedom of choice and being able to pick exactly who you want to shag............. but THIS many rules????????
Nah!! Can't be arsed!!

Quote by mal609
an actual MALE advert!
male 54 looking for nsa fun with female in blackpool on the above date, drop me a line and lets see if we like the same things.

I do have to tell you that there is a long series of interviews before your chosen.
Some written, some oral, some practical and some athletic.

Quote by VenusnMars
Would it appeal to some submissive types? I`m wondering if it`s a build up to fulfilling a Dom fantasy.

Quote by Libra-Love
This bit intrigues me....
I do have to tell you that there is a long series of interviews before your chosen.
Some written, some oral, some practical and some athletic.

Quote by hagrid
go on then! tell me where it is and I'll reply with "fancy a shag!"
just for a laugh! (just realise I dont NORMALLY do that, but sometimes you have to have a bit of a laugh!) :rotflmao: :giggle:

Please no one line E-Mails
I am a horny 44 year old size 12 lady who is looking for a guy or a group of guys to come all the way up here and satisfy my needs.
I do have to tell you that there is a long series of interviews before your chosen.
Some written, some oral, some practical and some athletic.
I also have some important rules.
1 You must be under 30
2. You must be good looking.
3 you must have a good figure.
4 you must not be fat.
5 you must have a good size dick.
6 you must be clean.
7 you must be drug free.
8 you must be healthy.
9 you must have a full head of hair.
10 You must have no beard.
11 You must be str8.
12 You must have MSN Messenger (to chat first)
13 You must have a webcam where we can see if we are compatible.
14 You must send an e-mail with more than just one line telling me all about you..
15 YOU MUST NOT SEND A PHOTO.
16 You must be happy to share me with others.
17 You must like putting me first
18 You must be not at all pushy
19 You must know my partner will also be present and will join in, if you bring a female partner you must know I am str8 and will not allow a female to join in, though she can play with other group members in another room.
20 You must read, understand and follow all the rules.
21 You must like rules
you must include your MSN messenger ID.

Quote by little gem
the Borg queen was much nicer than 7 of 9.
I always though 7 looked a bit pouty trout in the face for my liking....... although the lycra more than made up for her face!

18 You must be not at all pushy