Ok, ok, ok. I will come clean about this one since I have seen a couple of digs about my cleaning abilities.
But everyone keep this under their hat.......Alex doesn't know about it yet.
Well anyhow, I was looking around the house feeling bored and wondering what I could do to keep me out of trouble. I noticed that the UPVC window frames on the inside of the house were a wee bit dirty. This memory stuck in my mind then about a week later, while visiting my dear old mam, I was reading a copy of "Chat", the womans magazine. I read a bit about toptips for housework......one of these was how to clean your light rose. The tip was to use a bit of cotton wool and nail varnish remover. Rub it on and the plastic comes up a treat.
"Ding" goes the little light bulb in my head. I have plastic that needs cleaning. So off I totter to Asda and buy a mega bottle of pink nail varnish remover and a family bag of cotton wool balls. I then set to cleaning my window frames.
Within a couple of hours the frames are sparkling like new.
Alex came home, took one look and said to me "You've done something right for once". I was like a dog with two dicks........I was smiling from ear to ear, I had been praised at last.
Well about two weeks later I am stood near the patio door and talking on the phone. I looked up and noticed that there was a gap between the window frame and the slats that are put in. I started looking around and noticed that this is at every window.
The silicon that holds the frame to the slats has only fecking melted. Now every one of my windows is holey around the edges!!!!
I now have to get this fixed before either:
a) Alex finds out and cuts my bollocks off or
b) The windows fall out and Alex cuts my bollocks off
I am now looking for a choir to sing at.
And this is me trying to stay out of trouble :shock:
Dave_Notts
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How not to clean your windows
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Sex God
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:Did you use the full bottle??
It takes 1 drop to get through nail varnish dave :twisted:
Sex God
Quote by earthchild
face it, your disolved meat lol
:twisted:
Sex God
Dave... next time you wanna clean something PVC, use Jif. It works a treat, the window frames come up sparkly (provided you don't use it on the glass!) and you just need some elbow grease. 
How many people have phoned Alex so far? :giggle:
How many people have phoned Alex so far? :giggle:
Sex God
Sex God
So the silicone has melted eh Dave???
Give it another couple of weeks and the upvc frames will have gone as well and how would you explain that??
RUN DAVE, RUN WHILE YOU CAN!!!
John
Give it another couple of weeks and the upvc frames will have gone as well and how would you explain that??
RUN DAVE, RUN WHILE YOU CAN!!!
John
Forum Virgin
Dave i suggest you use a UPVC Cleaner in future! available form window suppliers and the like.
As for the gaps get you self a mastic gun whist at said UPVC suppliers along with some white silicone and get on with filling the gaps
Old Silicone does look unsightly sometimes so as a back up say you have removed it in order to replace it, back in the good books.
All tho in the building trade i accept no liability for loss or damage to your balls or other property, should any off the above fail.
HH
As for the gaps get you self a mastic gun whist at said UPVC suppliers along with some white silicone and get on with filling the gaps
Old Silicone does look unsightly sometimes so as a back up say you have removed it in order to replace it, back in the good books.
All tho in the building trade i accept no liability for loss or damage to your balls or other property, should any off the above fail.
HH
Quote by Hardhubby
Dave i suggest you use a UPVC Cleaner in future! available form window suppliers and the like.
As for the gaps get you self a mastic gun whist at said UPVC suppliers along with some white silicone and get on with filling the gaps
Old Silicone does look unsightly sometimes so as a back up say you have removed it in order to replace it, back in the good books.
All tho in the building trade i accept no liability for loss or damage to your balls or other property, should any off the above fail.
HH
Nice first post :thumbup:
I would have used something like Cif though :lol2:
Forum Virgin
Thank You Dawnie been lurking for a while waiting for me chance to impress lol.
Had to loose the posting cherry some time
HH
Had to loose the posting cherry some time
HH
Quote by Dawnie
Dave i suggest you use a UPVC Cleaner in future! available form window suppliers and the like.
As for the gaps get you self a mastic gun whist at said UPVC suppliers along with some white silicone and get on with filling the gaps
Old Silicone does look unsightly sometimes so as a back up say you have removed it in order to replace it, back in the good books.
All tho in the building trade i accept no liability for loss or damage to your balls or other property, should any off the above fail.
HH
Nice first post :thumbup:
I would have used something like Cif though :lol2:
Nice first post? Bloody life saver if you ask me.
Thank you HH, all the rest here just take the piss when something that may scar me emotionally happens
.......see they are nasty pasty people :lol: Dave_Notts
Sex God
Its good advice, but he hasnt got enough time. If I were you mate I would get the mastic gun ........and shoot yerself. Make it quicker.
Sex God
Doubleglaztituition ?
Sex God
wouldn't I love to be a bookie right now....
if you put this up against Ian and the "carpet" incident, I would love to have seen who killed their man first....
speaking of which... haven't seen ian in a while!! he's not under a patio is he?
and I think the moral of the story is that men should never do any housework at all..... :thumbup:
well thats my excuse and i am sticking to it
if you put this up against Ian and the "carpet" incident, I would love to have seen who killed their man first....
speaking of which... haven't seen ian in a while!! he's not under a patio is he?
and I think the moral of the story is that men should never do any housework at all..... :thumbup:
well thats my excuse and i am sticking to it
Sex God
Dave
Knowing your DIY skills, I suggest you get a glazing company in to fix the problem!
Knowing your DIY skills, I suggest you get a glazing company in to fix the problem!
Sex God
Quote by Dave__Notts
Thank you HH, all the rest here just take the piss when something that may scar me emotionally happens
Dave_Notts
Awwwwww Dave :therethere:
Tell us who`s been taking the piss and we`ll get `em for ya :lol:
I wonder
Dave_Notts
Sex God
Watch out Alex is about :twisted:
:giggle:
:giggle:
Orgasminator
My Dave is in the building trade, cleans upvc perfectly, does all the housework and has tea waiting for me when I get home 
Sorry couldnt resist bragging
Dave, if you need to hide, Ill look after you whilst Dave cleans up after us :D
Jane xx
Sorry couldnt resist bragging
Dave, if you need to hide, Ill look after you whilst Dave cleans up after us :D
Jane xx
Sex God
Theres obviously something else wrong with him
Sex God
I dont think she will notice em anyway Dave
Mod
I can cook.........was a chef in a past life 
Sex God
Quote by woohoo
I can cook.........was a chef in a past life
I take it you worked for 'little' chef then!!
:lol: 