being part of a couple and having just had our first wonderful amazing encounter with a single guy and feeling the thril, excitment of the night of passion i am now wondering - do we see him again.
is that about having more wonderful sex or about finding more out about him and getting into a relationship?
its left me with questions
- can i have sex without a relstionship?
- can relationships like this work?
- whats the costs and benefits??
aarrgghh, loads of unanswered questions, so anyone got an opinion, thought or an experience to share please do
confused :confused2:
curvy xx
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how often?
I think Rob is right, you can sometimes over analyse something. BUT of course it is your first time and the first is very impressionable. It is a difficult one, we have only had one meet with a single guy and he is lovely, we still chat but haven't had a chance to meet up again. It's also about what they want as well, has he indicated whether he would like to see you both again?
I think you have to remember your first priority is your hubby and talk it through with him. Swinging is mostly about sex without the pressure of a relationship but it can of course bring relationships.
You are clearly confused. I would let the dust settle for a few days and enjoy the aftermath with your hubby.. :grin:
I think you have to remember your first priority is your hubby and talk it through with him. Swinging is mostly about sex without the pressure of a relationship but it can of course bring relationships.
You are clearly confused. I would let the dust settle for a few days and enjoy the aftermath with your hubby.. :grin:
Sex God
I am of course biased, very biased and this really is just my opinion.
dont do it :shock:
I'm sure there are many triangular relationships out there that work just fine, but i would put money on it that there are many more that end in disaster.
my advice, be very very careful.
imho
dont do it :shock:
I'm sure there are many triangular relationships out there that work just fine, but i would put money on it that there are many more that end in disaster.
my advice, be very very careful.
imho
Sex God
I agree with Rob, Jaymar and Pete - be very careful and talk everything over with your husband (I don't like the word "hubby", sorry!). Then you've got the single guy to chat with and see how he feels, even about meeting up again to start with.
To my mind there's already a warning sign there, that you are calling "one night of passion" something which might "lead into a relationship". I would not go so fast.
If you really do think this might possibly lead to a three-way relationship, google "polyamory" - there's useful stuff to be found there.
Mike.
To my mind there's already a warning sign there, that you are calling "one night of passion" something which might "lead into a relationship". I would not go so fast.
If you really do think this might possibly lead to a three-way relationship, google "polyamory" - there's useful stuff to be found there.
Mike.
Quote by jaymar
I think Rob is right, you can sometimes over analyse something. BUT of course it is your first time and the first is very impressionable. It is a difficult one, we have only had one meet with a single guy and he is lovely, we still chat but haven't had a chance to meet up again. It's also about what they want as well, has he indicated whether he would like to see you both again?
I think you have to remember your first priority is your hubby and talk it through with him. Swinging is mostly about sex without the pressure of a relationship but it can of course bring relationships.
You are clearly confused. I would let the dust settle for a few days and enjoy the aftermath with your hubby.. :grin:
thanks jaymar,
it IS easy for me to overanalyse, i'm good at that!!
yeah horny and i have talked bout it lots and we are certainly enjoying the aftermath :grin
just wanted to hear experiences of others who have met more than once and what that has led to - good or bad or indifferent
cheers,
curvy xx
this is horny here as well now,
don't worry peeps, all of this has been discussed with me, we are both totally open with each other about swinging, wouldn't work otherwise. All feelings have been talked over and over and over and over and over, the fucking fantastic feelings and the scary feelings (and there are many more fucking fantastic than scary :P)
we have re-read our original post and both agree that the term relationship is the wrong one to use and people have taken it in the wrong sense.
We're not looking at a polyamorous triangular relationship, no no no, god no, just fun. If you're reading this, you-know-who-you-are, you don't have to move house
That's not what curvy meant. What curvy meant by that was getting to know him a bit, rather than just treating him as just a handy appendage to have fun with or as a single fuck. It was fun, we got on really well we think, we'd all like to do it again.
there's no danger of anything serious developing, just a question of how much more fun to have, but by having those other meets, does it become a bit of a friendship and how to handle that.
thanks for the concern shown, but be reassured that the worries shown in the earlier posts are not justified, just the high from that first meet being a bit overwhelming, sure people can remember those.
anyway, thanks for your replies, we're OK really, not as bad as it seems, just a bit of overanalysing
, won't do it again, promise.
tc
c & h
don't worry peeps, all of this has been discussed with me, we are both totally open with each other about swinging, wouldn't work otherwise. All feelings have been talked over and over and over and over and over, the fucking fantastic feelings and the scary feelings (and there are many more fucking fantastic than scary :P)
we have re-read our original post and both agree that the term relationship is the wrong one to use and people have taken it in the wrong sense.
We're not looking at a polyamorous triangular relationship, no no no, god no, just fun. If you're reading this, you-know-who-you-are, you don't have to move house
That's not what curvy meant. What curvy meant by that was getting to know him a bit, rather than just treating him as just a handy appendage to have fun with or as a single fuck. It was fun, we got on really well we think, we'd all like to do it again.
there's no danger of anything serious developing, just a question of how much more fun to have, but by having those other meets, does it become a bit of a friendship and how to handle that.
thanks for the concern shown, but be reassured that the worries shown in the earlier posts are not justified, just the high from that first meet being a bit overwhelming, sure people can remember those.
anyway, thanks for your replies, we're OK really, not as bad as it seems, just a bit of overanalysing
, won't do it again, promise.tc
c & h
Warming the Bed
my first mmf was passionate and the guy was wonderfull, we knew straight away it would be dangerous to see him again.
we saw a few other guys but I got fed up with shagging strangers allthough i know for some it is their thing.
We found a really nice guy, he is funny, good looking and I fancy him like mad but could never fall in love with him. he happily discussed what we all wanted to do and what my hubby wanted to see. he is ok with film and pics. so we see him about 5 times a year.
it works for us
jay x
we saw a few other guys but I got fed up with shagging strangers allthough i know for some it is their thing.
We found a really nice guy, he is funny, good looking and I fancy him like mad but could never fall in love with him. he happily discussed what we all wanted to do and what my hubby wanted to see. he is ok with film and pics. so we see him about 5 times a year.
it works for us
jay x
Sex God
speaking to a couple at a club one night ,they told us there pref if meeting a single guy was one shag then move,never really thought about it till i read this can understand where they were coming from.
Sex God
Sorry to sneak in here but I thought I'd stick my 2 pence worth in from the other side. I had a "thing" (for want of a better word) with a couple in my mid 20's. I don't think I'd call it a polyamorous relationship as such but I spent a lot of time with them doing vanilla things as well as sexual things. We had a great time, it ended naturally and there was no upset or bad feeling from either side. Almost 10 years later we're still good friends although our "thing" only went on for about 8 months. So yes, it worked for us and it is possible. 
I understand the need to not get too attached to one person but I think you'd have to judge the individual rather than the situation generally. I'm not interested in getting in between a couple and I'm therefore very careful about who I get involved with. I want to know that their relationship is 100% rock solid before I even think about it.
I think you have to decide what you're both comfortable with. Personally I like having a friendship with the people I'm involved with, that doesn't work for everyone of course and sometimes one time things are best for some people but it just isn't for me. I want to push boundaries and have experiences with people I trust and who I'm comfortable with. That's not how everyone works though so it's not always easy to find but maybe having a chat with the guy in question to see what he thinks/wants would help you decide. :smile:
I understand the need to not get too attached to one person but I think you'd have to judge the individual rather than the situation generally. I'm not interested in getting in between a couple and I'm therefore very careful about who I get involved with. I want to know that their relationship is 100% rock solid before I even think about it.
I think you have to decide what you're both comfortable with. Personally I like having a friendship with the people I'm involved with, that doesn't work for everyone of course and sometimes one time things are best for some people but it just isn't for me. I want to push boundaries and have experiences with people I trust and who I'm comfortable with. That's not how everyone works though so it's not always easy to find but maybe having a chat with the guy in question to see what he thinks/wants would help you decide. :smile:
Sex God
Hi Horny and Curvy
Firstly, it's great to hear you had such a great first experience - savour it!
Personally most of the people we have played with we have had a "friendship" with (term used very loosely), such as getting to know each other a little, by email/msn and texting a bit. Not to the extent of doing vanilla things together (we have enough friends for that and it's sex we're in this for!) but we don't find the stranger bit sits quite as well with us. Attractiveness comes through knowing a little about someone.
Talk to each other and to your single guy. In the early days perhaps go with the flow and don't over anaylse or get too intense. Then perhaps after you've played a few times, maybe work out if a regular arrangement would suit you all.
I think after meeting a few times you can get a feel for the guy (and others in general) and if he may pose a potential threat to your relationship. There are lots of good, well behaved and considerate single males here, it's just a case of sorting them.
I have feelings for someone we have played with, he is sexy (obviously) funny, considerate and a good friend to us both. BUT he is also respectful and very aware of overstepping the mark. If any one of us had doubts or feelings they couldn't handle we'd walk away. End of. In fact we all sat down and analysed whether a threesome would be a good idea or not! (Luckily we all said yes )
Remember why you're here in the first place. To experience sex with others. And being fully aware of developing feelings and whether they are beyond your comfort level is in my book a good thing. It's better to over anyase than not think about the repurcussions at all. Just a middle ground is a good base to start with.
Good luck guys, sounds like you have your heads well and truly on the right way!
pink x
Firstly, it's great to hear you had such a great first experience - savour it!
Personally most of the people we have played with we have had a "friendship" with (term used very loosely), such as getting to know each other a little, by email/msn and texting a bit. Not to the extent of doing vanilla things together (we have enough friends for that and it's sex we're in this for!) but we don't find the stranger bit sits quite as well with us. Attractiveness comes through knowing a little about someone.
Talk to each other and to your single guy. In the early days perhaps go with the flow and don't over anaylse or get too intense. Then perhaps after you've played a few times, maybe work out if a regular arrangement would suit you all.
I think after meeting a few times you can get a feel for the guy (and others in general) and if he may pose a potential threat to your relationship. There are lots of good, well behaved and considerate single males here, it's just a case of sorting them.
I have feelings for someone we have played with, he is sexy (obviously) funny, considerate and a good friend to us both. BUT he is also respectful and very aware of overstepping the mark. If any one of us had doubts or feelings they couldn't handle we'd walk away. End of. In fact we all sat down and analysed whether a threesome would be a good idea or not! (Luckily we all said yes
)Remember why you're here in the first place. To experience sex with others. And being fully aware of developing feelings and whether they are beyond your comfort level is in my book a good thing. It's better to over anyase than not think about the repurcussions at all. Just a middle ground is a good base to start with.
Good luck guys, sounds like you have your heads well and truly on the right way!
pink x
Quote by MikeNorth
I agree with Rob, Jaymar and Pete - be very careful and talk everything over with your husband (I don't like the word "hubby", sorry!). Then you've got the single guy to chat with and see how he feels, even about meeting up again to start with.
To my mind there's already a warning sign there, that you are calling "one night of passion" something which might "lead into a relationship". I would not go so fast.
If you really do think this might possibly lead to a three-way relationship, google "polyamory" - there's useful stuff to be found there.
Mike.
aaaw it's ok, I'll forgive you.. this once!
Sex God
Curvy/horny - horny/curvy 
Enjoyed and empathised with you mrs Lost sitting here going "been there, thought that. Still do".
We have enjoyed the company of a single man and though we would never think of him as just a one off shag. We also really enjoyed his company. Turned on in both mind and body if you will.
We did discuss the facts of what we we're all about to amd with him and that he was a nice addition to our life as S and as J not parents or neighbours or people known locally in the pubs and shops etc. This was our other life the i suppose 'swinging' one.
Though the temptation to see this guy more and again (if he was willing) is great. That would possibly be just a little lazy and thoughtless o our behalf. He deserves to know he is and was special for a time but things move on.
You seem clued up guys glad you enjoyed you experience thats what its all about isn't it.
Maybe i feel a lttle for the single guys who want repeats and relationships etc and we would not want them to think of themselves as 'just' a shag though that maybe all they get. The fact they got a shag makes them special. And their time is important to us and appreciated.
Enough said curvy/horny horny/curvy we gonna see ya in wales so get a chance to bore ya to tears there guys see ya in the chatroom
lurve n stuff
both Losts this morning
Enjoyed and empathised with you mrs Lost sitting here going "been there, thought that. Still do".
We have enjoyed the company of a single man and though we would never think of him as just a one off shag. We also really enjoyed his company. Turned on in both mind and body if you will.
We did discuss the facts of what we we're all about to amd with him and that he was a nice addition to our life as S and as J not parents or neighbours or people known locally in the pubs and shops etc. This was our other life the i suppose 'swinging' one.
Though the temptation to see this guy more and again (if he was willing) is great. That would possibly be just a little lazy and thoughtless o our behalf. He deserves to know he is and was special for a time but things move on.
You seem clued up guys glad you enjoyed you experience thats what its all about isn't it.
Maybe i feel a lttle for the single guys who want repeats and relationships etc and we would not want them to think of themselves as 'just' a shag though that maybe all they get. The fact they got a shag makes them special. And their time is important to us and appreciated.
Enough said curvy/horny horny/curvy we gonna see ya in wales so get a chance to bore ya to tears there guys see ya in the chatroom
lurve n stuff
both Losts this morning
C&H, it sounds like a win-win situation.
You've found someone who you like but poses no threat to your primary relationship and I'm sure he too has no wish to rock any boat in that way.
With that clarified you can further enjoy each others company and share more good times together - excellent!
You've found someone who you like but poses no threat to your primary relationship and I'm sure he too has no wish to rock any boat in that way.
With that clarified you can further enjoy each others company and share more good times together - excellent!
