Can anyone help?
I have been toying with the idea of seeing if my girlfriend has any secret desire to participate in swinging/swapping/3somes etc but have not got the foggiest idea as to how to bring it up without her thinking i am being perverted (if she is totally against it).I am not talking about her getting gangbanged by 5 or 6 guys or me shagging loads of different women but we have been together for 9 years and are very in love but the sex side has taken a serious backseat over the last year or so and it needs an injection to spice it up.
Any advice/suggestions from the wise would be greatly appreciated.
Will
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How to bring the subject up with my g/f
Thats a very delicate situation, but do remember you have been together 9years so im presumeing you communicate pretty well, sounds like the first issue you need to talk to her about is your sex life together in genral, and depending on the outcome of that, slowly bring up the idea of swinging!
But i may be wrong as im very young, but i would strongly suggest talking to her about you sex life in genral before bringing up the swinging, tread lightly my freind and you wont go wrong & good luck
But i may be wrong as im very young, but i would strongly suggest talking to her about you sex life in genral before bringing up the swinging, tread lightly my freind and you wont go wrong & good luck
Orgasminator
Only a personal point of view, and probably not a popular one, try to spice up you sex life and light the flame again without the aid of swinging, Just between the two of you. Im sure the ladies on here would be prepaired to give a little verbal advice and ideas.
Then when and if you feel the need to experiment, then so be it...
Then when and if you feel the need to experiment, then so be it...
Yes,
My hubbie and i have talked about it for nearly three years and it takes time
to make a big decision like that.
As the above thread writer states, get your sexlife right together before
introducing others into the equation.
My sexlife is great , I just want to make it better.
lisamarie
and if she doesnt like it there still might be a chance if you dont push it
ideas planted in the mind grow, I should know.
My hubbie and i have talked about it for nearly three years and it takes time
to make a big decision like that.
As the above thread writer states, get your sexlife right together before
introducing others into the equation.
My sexlife is great , I just want to make it better.
lisamarie
and if she doesnt like it there still might be a chance if you dont push it
ideas planted in the mind grow, I should know.
...past the toast please Dear.....Not much in the papers this morning....... Er I was thinking.....Er..Well..... Nothing Dear. Desn't matter.
Yes I think you're right it's got to come up in conversation really hasn't it.... What's a good film?.... all I can think of right here is eyes wide shut and i think that would not have a very positive effect?
Yes I think you're right it's got to come up in conversation really hasn't it.... What's a good film?.... all I can think of right here is eyes wide shut and i think that would not have a very positive effect?
sound advice from wilki, you need to get your relationship back on track before you think about swinging. after all you know your girlfriend better than her your fantasies and see if that floats her boat, you never know.
then take the next step and chill out on s/h and feel the vibe. :thumbup:
sierra x x
then take the next step and chill out on s/h and feel the vibe. :thumbup:
sierra x x
Hang on a minute, am I missing something here......... after 9 years together you should know each other's sexual fantasies already .. I mean you can only shag for so long then you HAVE to talk to each other... and if your sex lives have taken such a down turn then surely there is a more fundamental issue that needs resolving before even thinking about sex with other people.
...... after 9 years together you should know each other's sexual fantasies already ..
True but those fantasies were probably neive 9 years ago. They were only metioned briefly at the very beginning as you're in the enfatuated stage... then things progress comfortably and there's lots of talking but there's never a point at which you say "by the way i think we're going off the boil a bit here what about...." then theres denial (No you can't say it isn't..that's denial!)... Everyone's probably the same . Then there's desperation... ANYTHING is better than nothing. and then it's a long walk back to the point where you can address those issues.
Then theres one of you looking for something... This site....a Liason that opens acircle of friends.
And how. What imagination can you try to bring in without looking like a fumbling teenager?
Is there an arguement to say try something new and if you like it pass it on. At least then you know what you're talking about.
.... Or have i drunk too muck wine tonight?
True but those fantasies were probably neive 9 years ago. They were only metioned briefly at the very beginning as you're in the enfatuated stage... then things progress comfortably and there's lots of talking but there's never a point at which you say "by the way i think we're going off the boil a bit here what about...." then theres denial (No you can't say it isn't..that's denial!)... Everyone's probably the same . Then there's desperation... ANYTHING is better than nothing. and then it's a long walk back to the point where you can address those issues.
Then theres one of you looking for something... This site....a Liason that opens acircle of friends.
And how. What imagination can you try to bring in without looking like a fumbling teenager?
Is there an arguement to say try something new and if you like it pass it on. At least then you know what you're talking about.
.... Or have i drunk too muck wine tonight?
Quote by Happy Cats
I've got the answer here that is just bound to work, just say,
"Look, I fancy you and all that but I want to shag a bird that is slimmer than you with bigger tits that knows how to give a blow job, I hope you understand!"
If she loves you, she'll give it a go!
in the same vein....
can i have a go on your missus, Mr Happy Cats?
Quote by postie
I've got the answer here that is just bound to work, just say,
"Look, I fancy you and all that but I want to shag a bird that is slimmer than you with bigger tits that knows how to give a blow job, I hope you understand!"
If she loves you, she'll give it a go!
in the same vein....
can i have a go on your missus, Mr Happy Cats?
Of course you can!
Quote by equinox
...... after 9 years together you should know each other's sexual fantasies already ..
True but those fantasies were probably neive 9 years ago. They were only metioned briefly at the very beginning as you're in the enfatuated stage... then things progress comfortably and there's lots of talking but there's never a point at which you say "by the way i think we're going off the boil a bit here what about...." then theres denial (No you can't say it isn't..that's denial!)... Everyone's probably the same . Then there's desperation... ANYTHING is better than nothing. and then it's a long walk back to the point where you can address those issues.
Then theres one of you looking for something... This site....a Liason that opens acircle of friends.
And how. What imagination can you try to bring in without looking like a fumbling teenager?
Is there an arguement to say try something new and if you like it pass it on. At least then you know what you're talking about.
.... Or have i drunk too muck wine tonight?
Ur pissed!
:drinkies: :drinkies: :drinkies: :drinkies: :drinkies: :drinkies: :drinkies: 
Sex God
Quote by Happy Cats
I've got the answer here that is just bound to work, just say,
"Look, I fancy you and all that but I want to shag a bird that is slimmer than you with bigger tits that knows how to give a blow job, I hope you understand!"
If she loves you, she'll give it a go!
in the same vein....
can i have a go on your missus, Mr Happy Cats?
Of course you can!
Naughty cat
Thanks guys, some good advice there (and some not so - Happy Cats!!). I think i would get a very cold shoulder, not to mention a kick in the groin if i were to use that line! :-)
I think i am going to take a bit of time out from work and take the two of us off on holiday somewhere to spend a bit of time together and rekindle things. At least then we will know if we can still plese each other and maybe we will be on SH looking for playmates!!??
Thanks
I think i am going to take a bit of time out from work and take the two of us off on holiday somewhere to spend a bit of time together and rekindle things. At least then we will know if we can still plese each other and maybe we will be on SH looking for playmates!!??
Thanks
Quote by Wishmaster
Hang on a minute, am I missing something here......... after 9 years together you should know each other's sexual fantasies already .. I mean you can only shag for so long then you HAVE to talk to each other... and if your sex lives have taken such a down turn then surely there is a more fundamental issue that needs resolving before even thinking about sex with other people.
come on wishmaster you know how sensitive us fems can be, she might be shy.
then again who am i kidding
sierra
Well i find the straight forwards approch best.
When i was thinking of doing this i sat dawn and wondered how to bring it up with my hubby, i know most guy on here would think a women wanting to swinging is a dream come true, but not all guys are into this kinda thing and it is difficult to bring it up, i must warn you that if and when u approch your g/f she is of course going to think that she is no longer good enough for you, its a natural reaction, when i bought the subject up with my hubby the first thing he said was....why am i not longer good enough for you, u just have to point out its a as well of not a instead of, i think the subject wasn't mentioned again for about a week and i left it alone waiting for him to bring it up again, if he hadn't of i would have just left it alone, i think one of the worse things guys in ur situation can do is pester there partners because the chances are they will say yes just to shut u up and then regreat it after, but he did decide to give it ago and we have never looked back
When i was thinking of doing this i sat dawn and wondered how to bring it up with my hubby, i know most guy on here would think a women wanting to swinging is a dream come true, but not all guys are into this kinda thing and it is difficult to bring it up, i must warn you that if and when u approch your g/f she is of course going to think that she is no longer good enough for you, its a natural reaction, when i bought the subject up with my hubby the first thing he said was....why am i not longer good enough for you, u just have to point out its a as well of not a instead of, i think the subject wasn't mentioned again for about a week and i left it alone waiting for him to bring it up again, if he hadn't of i would have just left it alone, i think one of the worse things guys in ur situation can do is pester there partners because the chances are they will say yes just to shut u up and then regreat it after, but he did decide to give it ago and we have never looked back
Hey,'m only new hear and usually just keep in the background, but not all couples share their fantasies that readily - even after 9 years. We've bin together for13 and she still doesn'nt part with them easily!! One good way is to just bring up the subject as a conversation - ours happened by a friend of ours letting slip that they'd bin to a swinging club. When discussing this then we - or i - kept the conversation going and asked her thoughts on the issue - what she thought, if she dare etc!
I get my decri nici next week - ONLY JOKING!!
I get my decri nici next week - ONLY JOKING!!
Quote by Will_London
Thanks guys, some good advice there (and some not so - Happy Cats!!). I think i would get a very cold shoulder, not to mention a kick in the groin if i were to use that line! :-)
I think i am going to take a bit of time out from work and take the two of us off on holiday somewhere to spend a bit of time together and rekindle things. At least then we will know if we can still plese each other and maybe we will be on SH looking for playmates!!??
Thanks
That is much how Kit and I did it, we managed to have a great sex life for 17 years without even the slightest mention for fantasies. Then, we went on a holiday for just the two of us for just about the first time since our honeymoon - and we decided we were going to spend the time having LOTS of sex. Starting to talk about fantasies was just part of that. - That is about 5 years ago now, and it was a bit more complicated than it sounds, lots of two steps forward and one back stuff, but we have both decided that we enjoy the reality of swinging more than the fantasy.Talking about fantasies is still not a big part of sex for us - it is something that we tend to do when we tend to do when we are apart, when we are together we stick with doing!
lhk
Kat
