HOW TO CONVINCE WIFE

18 Apr 2005

I think KitKat's advice is sound.
Honesty will always reap it's own reward in good time so you might consider telling her you sought advice and print off the pages of this thread to show her or log into the site and let her have a browse for herself.
HOWEVER, only you can judge the best way to approach telling her what you have done in her absence. I don't know how much honesty there is in you're relationship but if there has been little before then this may be a start in earning some respect from her for your integrity She may not like what you have done but it should give her food for thought. I'd suggest though that you make it quite clear to her that you respect her feelings about it and endeavour to impress on her that your loyalty and committment is to her, and her alone and that nothing is more important than your relationship.
If she walks out on you then this is just the straw that broke the camel's back and sooner or later things would have gone tits up anyway.
It really is so very hard to know what you should do because no-one here has the slightest knowledge of, and insight into, your relationship.
Just my thoughts but you have asked.
Hope this helps. Good luck!
ES

18 Apr 2005

Interesting advice,and all is welcome.
Like many couples my partner,and i have disscussed the subject of swinging / dogging,and her initial opinion was that she didn't want to share me with anyone, but the thought of being watched by someone in a carpark area away from where we live is a turn on for both of us, (does that sound familiar). I would like to develop this further however it is clear that the local dogging spots would more than likely be a bit over the top for her at this stage.
So i will proceed with softly-softly tactics,and see how it goes.
All good things come to those who wait,eh?
:thumbup: cool

18 Apr 2005

Half and half here...... (am i going to vote lib dem then?)
You can bring it up and discuss it,, your wife may do right to listen to what you have to say. She may take on board it's something you want to explore... but then again, if you love her, you respect her decision not to discuss it or go further... then you wont. It's about 2 people listening to what the other wants....and being happy.
(speaking from some kind of weird experience ...that ended up totally pear-shaped)

18 Apr 2005

Quote by curious_catz
I agree... if she's not interested there's nothing you can do!!
( why is it when I read these sort of threads it's always men trying to persuade their wives to do it and never the wife trying to persuade the husband?? :shock: )
Mrs CC

Maybe it is just life, I have seen a number of females out there on the prowl as hubby doesn't satisfy comment. End of the day people are often right for each other in so many ways and just one doesn't line up. Yes you can leave, or cheat, or try and persuade through sharing, but sometimes it is not going to work. Then as Judy said it pain all the way... If you chose to cheat and get found out it going to hurt, if you cheat and don't get found out it will still hurt, if you chose to split to find someone more compatible it will hurt...
Swinging is about open sharing, so really if your partner in the long run is not up for it then you can't swing and stay with them. However if you chose your relationship and a swingers life (some would say this is impossible, but there are a lot who try to do both) I for one could not condemn you, although others certainly will.
IMHO sexuality is one of the biggest drives, and it is not fair to expect someone male or female to suppress a part of themselves for life. The consequences of your choices are likely to be huge, so think carefully but it is your life and you will have to take the decisions, and live with the results. BE open with your partner and yourself, think long and hard about what you want to do and why. Then take things slow and see if your relationship is going to move that way...
You can't make someone swing, you can show them the door, you can describe the good things you think that will come from going through it, but they have to step through.