I am up for it but she's not.
Can anyone help?
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HOW TO CONVINCE WIFE
Quote by MATEYBOY
Hi there, I'm new to this so I was wondering has anyone got any tips on how to convince my wife to get into Swapping?
I am up for it but she's not.
Can anyone help?
only her can make the decision, if its not her bag, then sorry but hard luck!.. swinging is not everyone thing!.
Jiggle
Sex God
Quote by MATEYBOY
Hi there, I'm new to this so I was wondering has anyone got any tips on how to convince my wife to get into Swapping?
I am up for it but she's not.
Can anyone help?
... not another one ... the lack of common sense is just staggering ... you can't CONVINCE your wife to get into something she may not be interested in ... if the question were how you broach the subject to her without risking a divorce etc, maybe you'd get some useful advice ...Actually, the fact that you say ...
Quote by MATEYBOY
I am up for it but she's not.
... suggests you already had te conversation and she told you 'No' ... in which case, accept her decision.
NB: We need a :rollseyes: emoticon ...
MOD EDIT
- look left and on second bottom row!:roll: :roll:
Sex God
Quote by Rainbows
You can't. End of story.
Erm.... 'Bows.... not exactly true.
I was dead against the idea when it was first mentioned to me by my partner. I hated the thought of shraing my man with anyone else, let alone infront of my face while I was shagging someone else beside them.
I felt a whole mixture of things.... was I good enough? Did he love me? Did he want other blokes or other women? And why? and to what extent...He was honest with me, reasured me of his love and commitment, asked me what I felt and what would be completely unacceptable in my opinion. We discussed things over a few months openly. For that he won my trust and respect.
It took time and patience for him to introduce me to it. He did it by using the old trick of saying a little bit then refusing to talk about it unless I brought it up. I eventually asked more and more questions and wanted to know more about it that we went to a club.
The first few times we just sat outside and then went home. Each time we got closer and closer to going in and he didnt ask to go inside, I was told that I was the one in charge making the decisions, he was there to support me.
About 2/3 months after it was brought up I asked to go in. The main dilema I had was what to wear. So armed with my sexiest most expensive satin slip we went in and had a look around. It was all done very slowly and I was the one controlling the choices because I was the nervous/unsure one.
Trust, respect and communication is what swinging is about when you are a couple. Set your limits for that trip and don't overstep them. There will be plenty more opportunities.
Good luck and I hope you have fun exploring your sexual fantasies within your marriage.
Gem. x
Speaking from my very own experience............I wasn't interested 4 years ago and my husband had talked about it for a while. Eventually, he suggested we went to a club (La Chambre in our case) just to see what it was all about! I said I'd go just to do that, no participation, just watching!
I loved the evening! It was great to see that hubby wasn't a perv afterall and their were loads of lovely like minded couples just having fun!
I even found myslf joining in by the end of the night, and next time we went, it was my idea!
The rest is history !
I loved the evening! It was great to see that hubby wasn't a perv afterall and their were loads of lovely like minded couples just having fun!
I even found myslf joining in by the end of the night, and next time we went, it was my idea!
The rest is history !
Quote by Sexysteph
Stop Shouting for one but welcome to the site
bloody hells staph................ i dident here a thing!. :shock: :shock: :shock: ............... must get me hearing ade fixed
:lol: well babes.................. i just dont no............you will have to put more in about your selfs
i would like to no
have you ever brought in swinging with others in to sex talk with each other?.and both got turn on by the thought!
Sex God
Quote by MATEYBOY
Well the problem is that i really would like to swing,but i dont want an affair so what do
i do?
there you go, lifes a bugger isnt it.......there are a mountain of things that I would have liked to try, that I would have liked to have owned, that I would like to have taken a chance on, but like most folk I can't have everything, so I worked out what would be best for me and mine and shelved the stuff that would have detracted from that...........it aint no big thing, ya just gotta realise that you can't have it all and hey presto lifes sweet.
Sex God
Mateyboy, she might have serious reservations because of this thing with her sisters marriage. Talk about things openly with her, but, whatever you do, don't push the issue as it will drive a wedge between you and she'll resent you possibly. She will bring it up in her own time.
If it is a no and a firm no, she will bring it up in future if she wants to have a go. If not, like davej and the others have said, accept your lot and do other things to spice up your sex life.
Gem. x
If it is a no and a firm no, she will bring it up in future if she wants to have a go. If not, like davej and the others have said, accept your lot and do other things to spice up your sex life.
Gem. x
Quote by little gem
Mateyboy, she might have serious reservations because of this thing with her sisters marriage. Talk about things openly with her, but, whatever you do, don't push the issue as it will drive a wedge between you and she'll resent you possibly. She will bring it up in her own time.
If it is a no and a firm no, she will bring it up in future if she wants to have a go. If not, like davej and the others have said, accept your lot and do other things to spice up your sex life.
Gem. x
thanks what you say above is spot on what i am thinking
Sex God
Quote by MATEYBOY
if i did convince my wife are there any soft swing clubs in south london? :shock:
I think I'd convince her first. This is far too trite to be anything other than trollism.
Master of Sex
Quote by curious_catz
( why is it when I read these sort of threads it's always men trying to persuade their wives to do it and never the wife trying to persuade the husband?? :shock: )
Mrs CC
Because men do as they're told (at first), so the situation doesn't arise ?
I have noticed the odd ad on the couples for men ads along those lines.
Or maybe it's just because women are more persuasive and men more easily led.
More likely it's to do with the 1000 to 1 ratio of males to females on the forum.
Quote by little gem
You can't. End of story.
Erm.... 'Bows.... not exactly true.
I was dead against the idea when it was first mentioned to me by my partner. I hated the thought of shraing my man with anyone else, let alone infront of my face while I was shagging someone else beside them.
I felt a whole mixture of things.... was I good enough? Did he love me? Did he want other blokes or other women? And why? and to what extent...He was honest with me, reasured me of his love and commitment, asked me what I felt and what would be completely unacceptable in my opinion. We discussed things over a few months openly. For that he won my trust and respect.
It took time and patience for him to introduce me to it. He did it by using the old trick of saying a little bit then refusing to talk about it unless I brought it up. I eventually asked more and more questions and wanted to know more about it that we went to a club.
The first few times we just sat outside and then went home. Each time we got closer and closer to going in and he didnt ask to go inside, I was told that I was the one in charge making the decisions, he was there to support me.
About 2/3 months after it was brought up I asked to go in. The main dilema I had was what to wear. So armed with my sexiest most expensive satin slip we went in and had a look around. It was all done very slowly and I was the one controlling the choices because I was the nervous/unsure one.
Trust, respect and communication is what swinging is about when you are a couple. Set your limits for that trip and don't overstep them. There will be plenty more opportunities.
Good luck and I hope you have fun exploring your sexual fantasies within your marriage.Gem. x
Gem, you're very lucky to be married to a guy that understands you and communicates with you so well. I'm sure he could probably get you do to nearly anything quite willingly , given time
But unfortunately, for people who don't understand the way their partner works quite as well, it is usually a case of "if you have to ask..."
Sex God
Quote by JudyTV
or... you could always go fishing .... very relaxing and far less effort. She wont mind you doing that, anyway you can always use it as a opportunity to read your porn in peace :P .
Judy.
Yes, and play with his rod at the same time.
Matey,
You have not made it clear whether you have ever raised your fantasies with your wife.
Have you told her that you want to swing with her, and if so, what did she say?
lhk
Kat
Hang on - there is more. Basically, you have come on the site and asked people who know nothing about you, your wife, your relationship or your background for advice. You have read through the replies, and when you have found one that has said what you wanted to hear, you had decided to pick it up and run with it.
If you are going to base one of the most important decisions you will ever make as a married man on a single piece of advice from someone who is a complete stranger to you and your wife, then it is likely you are going to end up with a complete disaster on you hands.
Swinging as a couple does require a level of openess and honesty. You will have to live by that right from the start. That means, when your wife comes home from Australia, you will need to say to her:
"Darling, while you were in Australia, I chatted to some strangers on a sex site about you. Their advice was..."
You have not made it clear whether you have ever raised your fantasies with your wife.
Have you told her that you want to swing with her, and if so, what did she say?
lhk
Kat
Hang on - there is more. Basically, you have come on the site and asked people who know nothing about you, your wife, your relationship or your background for advice. You have read through the replies, and when you have found one that has said what you wanted to hear, you had decided to pick it up and run with it.
If you are going to base one of the most important decisions you will ever make as a married man on a single piece of advice from someone who is a complete stranger to you and your wife, then it is likely you are going to end up with a complete disaster on you hands.
Swinging as a couple does require a level of openess and honesty. You will have to live by that right from the start. That means, when your wife comes home from Australia, you will need to say to her:
"Darling, while you were in Australia, I chatted to some strangers on a sex site about you. Their advice was..."
I have been through the same thing quite recently.
We have both reached the age where we became less bothered about what people thought and more interested in what do we really want in life.
I broached the subject of swinging in my normal way of asking, which means mentioning it every 5 mins and getting annoyed when she said no. I then decided on a new tack, when I originally mentioned the idea of swinging my wife asked for some time to think about it. So I thought I would give this new approach a go.
I didn’t mention swinging, or ask her if she had made her mind up, I just left the subject in her mind and made sure I acted like the loving husband and not the spoilt child who hadn’t got their way.
Well as you can probably tell by me being here, things are going well. My wife is still a little unsure, and we haven’t yet swung, but she is willing to give it a try. So fingers crossed it will all work out, but if not I have accepted that a no is a no, our relationship is more important than swinging
(Wow this must be my most serious post to date )
We have both reached the age where we became less bothered about what people thought and more interested in what do we really want in life.
I broached the subject of swinging in my normal way of asking, which means mentioning it every 5 mins and getting annoyed when she said no. I then decided on a new tack, when I originally mentioned the idea of swinging my wife asked for some time to think about it. So I thought I would give this new approach a go.
I didn’t mention swinging, or ask her if she had made her mind up, I just left the subject in her mind and made sure I acted like the loving husband and not the spoilt child who hadn’t got their way.
Well as you can probably tell by me being here, things are going well. My wife is still a little unsure, and we haven’t yet swung, but she is willing to give it a try. So fingers crossed it will all work out, but if not I have accepted that a no is a no, our relationship is more important than swinging
(Wow this must be my most serious post to date
) Quote by curious_catz
I agree... if she's not interested there's nothing you can do!!
( why is it when I read these sort of threads it's always men trying to persuade their wives to do it and never the wife trying to persuade the husband?? :shock: )
Mrs CC
How many men have you seen who haven't thought it's a great idea that they can shag any woman they want?
That is until they realise their wifes can do the same thing
You don't have to " swing " to go to a swingers club. You just have to be a liberated adult who is tolerant of others and their lifestyles. You have freedom of choice whether to join in, watch or indulge each other any way you prefer. The main thing is no-one is pressured into anything. Perhaps if you withdrew the term " swapping " and discussed adult clubs it might be e gentler approach. Good luck.
:love: xxx
:love: xxx
Be honest and open with her...and I mean the real reason why you think she should try it..whats in it for her?
Try going along to one of the munches..get her to chat or use the forum..but basically if she aint for it..she aint for it!!
I convinced my god lady to try and look what happened it made things worse..hence separation!!!
So be warned..don't force the issue..don't go behind her back..you either accept or leave!!
Try going along to one of the munches..get her to chat or use the forum..but basically if she aint for it..she aint for it!!
I convinced my god lady to try and look what happened it made things worse..hence separation!!!
So be warned..don't force the issue..don't go behind her back..you either accept or leave!!
