Quote by Shireen
er you can say what it said
Idiot??
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How To Handle A Man
:lol2:
Sex God
so! are woman realy in control after all? :shock:
Sex God
Quote by Abilene
so! are woman realy in control after all? :shock:
Always and you had better not forget it !!
got your date yet 
Quote by sercher01
so! are woman realy in control after all? :shock:
Always and you had better not forget it !!
got your date yet I have a had a pretty good selection ( and some strange ones :shock: ) of email responses ( and a couple on the ad itself ). Why the rolling eyes thing? You don't think I will find a date for New Years eve do ya?? huh??
Sex God
Quote by Abilene
so! are woman realy in control after all? :shock:
Always and you had better not forget it !!
got your date yet I have a had a pretty good selection ( and some strange ones :shock: ) of email responses ( and a couple on the ad itself ). Why the rolling eyes thing? You don't think I will find a date for New Years eve do ya?? huh??
good for you girl ( so you are in control then)
Sex God
Quote by markz
so! are woman realy in control after all? :shock:
let them believe it
makes life so simple
thats the way i see it too markz (Shhhhhhhh! dont tell them ok ?)
1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.
4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway.
6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.
10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested
in, tell him checkbooks.
14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.
15. Sadly, all men are created equal.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.
4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway.
6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.
10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested
in, tell him checkbooks.
14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.
15. Sadly, all men are created equal.
What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?
Shoot him again.
Why do little boys whine?
Because they are practicing to be men.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1: One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him,
2: three - one to screw in the bulb and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.
What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You're not holding the pillow down hard enough
Why do female black widow spiders kill their mates after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
What is the difference between men and women ... ?
A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
How does a man keep his youth?
By giving her money, furs, and diamonds.
How do you keep your husband from reading your email?
Rename the folder to "Instructions Manual".
Shoot him again.
Why do little boys whine?
Because they are practicing to be men.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1: One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him,
2: three - one to screw in the bulb and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.
What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You're not holding the pillow down hard enough
Why do female black widow spiders kill their mates after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
What is the difference between men and women ... ?
A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
How does a man keep his youth?
By giving her money, furs, and diamonds.
How do you keep your husband from reading your email?
Rename the folder to "Instructions Manual".
WOMAN'S DIARY:
Saturday 29th April 2006.
Saw him in the evening and he was acting really strangely. I went
shopping in the afternoon with the girls and I did turn up a bit late so thought it might be that.
The bar was really crowded and loud so I suggested we go somewhere
quieter to talk. He was still very subdued and distracted so I suggested we go somewhere nice to eat.
All through dinner he just didn't seem himself; he hardly laughed, and didn't seem to be paying any attention to me or to what I was saying. I just knew that something was wrong.
He dropped me back home and I wondered if he was going to come in, he hesitated, but followed. I asked him again if there was something the matter but he just half shook his head and turned the television on.
After about 10 minutes of silence, I said I was going upstairs to bed. I put my arms around him and told him that I loved him deeply. He just gave a sigh, and a sad sort of smile. He didn't follow me up, but later he did, and I was surprised when we made love. He still seemed distant and a bit cold, and I started to think that he was going to leave me, and that he had found someone else...
I cried myself to sleep.
MAN'S DIARY:
Saturday 29th April 2006.
Rooney's probably out of the World Cup, there go our chances then,
gutted!
Got a shag though.
ok, coat's on
Saturday 29th April 2006.
Saw him in the evening and he was acting really strangely. I went
shopping in the afternoon with the girls and I did turn up a bit late so thought it might be that.
The bar was really crowded and loud so I suggested we go somewhere
quieter to talk. He was still very subdued and distracted so I suggested we go somewhere nice to eat.
All through dinner he just didn't seem himself; he hardly laughed, and didn't seem to be paying any attention to me or to what I was saying. I just knew that something was wrong.
He dropped me back home and I wondered if he was going to come in, he hesitated, but followed. I asked him again if there was something the matter but he just half shook his head and turned the television on.
After about 10 minutes of silence, I said I was going upstairs to bed. I put my arms around him and told him that I loved him deeply. He just gave a sigh, and a sad sort of smile. He didn't follow me up, but later he did, and I was surprised when we made love. He still seemed distant and a bit cold, and I started to think that he was going to leave me, and that he had found someone else...
I cried myself to sleep.
MAN'S DIARY:
Saturday 29th April 2006.
Rooney's probably out of the World Cup, there go our chances then,
gutted!
Got a shag though.
ok, coat's on
Quote by Sassy-Seren
WOMAN'S DIARY:
Saturday 29th April 2006.
Saw him in the evening and he was acting really strangely. I went
shopping in the afternoon with the girls and I did turn up a bit late so thought it might be that.
The bar was really crowded and loud so I suggested we go somewhere
quieter to talk. He was still very subdued and distracted so I suggested we go somewhere nice to eat.
All through dinner he just didn't seem himself; he hardly laughed, and didn't seem to be paying any attention to me or to what I was saying. I just knew that something was wrong.
He dropped me back home and I wondered if he was going to come in, he hesitated, but followed. I asked him again if there was something the matter but he just half shook his head and turned the television on.
After about 10 minutes of silence, I said I was going upstairs to bed. I put my arms around him and told him that I loved him deeply. He just gave a sigh, and a sad sort of smile. He didn't follow me up, but later he did, and I was surprised when we made love. He still seemed distant and a bit cold, and I started to think that he was going to leave me, and that he had found someone else...
I cried myself to sleep.
MAN'S DIARY:
Saturday 29th April 2006.
Rooney's (whos rooney :dryprobably out of the World Cup, there go our chances then,
gutted!
Got a shag though.
ok, coat's on
Quote by Sassy-Seren
WOMAN'S DIARY:
Saturday 29th April 2006.
Saw him in the evening and he was acting really strangely. I went
shopping in the afternoon with the girls and I did turn up a bit late so thought it might be that.
The bar was really crowded and loud so I suggested we go somewhere
quieter to talk. He was still very subdued and distracted so I suggested we go somewhere nice to eat.
All through dinner he just didn't seem himself; he hardly laughed, and didn't seem to be paying any attention to me or to what I was saying. I just knew that something was wrong.
He dropped me back home and I wondered if he was going to come in, he hesitated, but followed. I asked him again if there was something the matter but he just half shook his head and turned the television on.
After about 10 minutes of silence, I said I was going upstairs to bed. I put my arms around him and told him that I loved him deeply. He just gave a sigh, and a sad sort of smile. He didn't follow me up, but later he did, and I was surprised when we made love. He still seemed distant and a bit cold, and I started to think that he was going to leave me, and that he had found someone else...
I cried myself to sleep.
MAN'S DIARY:
Saturday 29th April 2006.
Rooney's probably out of the World Cup, there go our chances then,
gutted!
Got a shag though.
ok, coat's on
Can't believe she didn't know about rooney
it was devastating news
Quote by Sassy-Seren
What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?
Shoot him again.
(just like a female missed the first time)
Why do little boys whine?
Because they are practicing to be men.
(little girls scream practicing to be women :D)
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1: One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him,
(all females should know by now that the world revolves around men :D)
2: three - one to screw in the bulb and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.
(only because women like to know how good they were)
What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.
(nope you call him a sub :D)
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You're not holding the pillow down hard enough
(see you cant shoot us right or hold the pillow down hard enough :D)
Why do female black widow spiders kill their mates after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
(nope thats so that other females dont get to know how good he was)
Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
(nope again its the only time we have to ourselves to be happy, thats why we whistle a merry tune)
What is the difference between men and women ... ?
(you mean that you havent found that out yet)
A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. (and since a woman has many needs she has many men to satisfy them) A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.(and since a man only has one need he only needs one woman to satisfy it)
How does a man keep his youth?
By giving her money, furs, and diamonds.
(just like a female they are expensive to keep)
How do you keep your husband from reading your email?
Rename the folder to "Instructions Manual"(even when a woman has read the instruction manual she never understands it and needs a males help).
sits back an waits for the onslaught :D :D :D
Quote by rogerndi
What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?
Shoot him again.
(just like a female missed the first time
I didnt miss, I just wanted to watch him squirm for a bit
Why do little boys whine?
Because they are practicing to be men.
(little girls scream practicing to be women :D)
We have to start at an early age to practice soothing a mans ego, "OMG YOUR GOOD!"
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1: One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him,
(all females should know by now that the world revolves around men :D) Isnt that because vibrators cant mow the lawn?
2: three - one to screw in the bulb and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.
(only because women like to know how good they were) We have to get you to do some minor jobs around the house so that you feel all manly
What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.
(nope you call him a sub :D)
In his place :D
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You're not holding the pillow down hard enough
(see you cant shoot us right or hold the pillow down hard enough :D)
We like to see a man suffer for a while first otherwise there aint no fun in it :wink:
Why do female black widow spiders kill their mates after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
(nope thats so that other females dont get to know how good he was)
To save other females from suffering a bad performance
Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
(nope again its the only time we have to ourselves to be happy, thats why we whistle a merry tune)
Only because you cant remember more tham one line to a song
What is the difference between men and women ... ?
(you mean that you havent found that out yet)
A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. (and since a woman has many needs she has many men to satisfy them) A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.(and since a man only has one need he only needs one woman to satisfy it) :gagged:
How does a man keep his youth?
By giving her money, furs, and diamonds.
(just like a female they are expensive to keep)
Quality - you get what you pay for :P
How do you keep your husband from reading your email?
Rename the folder to "Instructions Manual"(even when a woman has read the instruction manual she never understands it and needs a males help).
Again feeding his ego, if he feels materful & useful we can get him to do all the mundane shit we cant be bothered to do, giving us more time to shop :thrilled:
sits back an waits for the onslaught :D :D :D
Quote by lilacgem
What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?
Shoot him again.
(just like a female missed the first time
I didnt miss, I just wanted to watch him squirm for a bit
Why do little boys whine?
Because they are practicing to be men.
(little girls scream practicing to be women :D)
We have to start at an early age to practice soothing a mans ego, "OMG YOUR GOOD!"
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1: One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him,
(all females should know by now that the world revolves around men :D) Isnt that because vibrators cant mow the lawn?
2: three - one to screw in the bulb and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.
(only because women like to know how good they were) We have to get you to do some minor jobs around the house so that you feel all manly
What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.
(nope you call him a sub :D)
In his place :D
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You're not holding the pillow down hard enough
(see you cant shoot us right or hold the pillow down hard enough :D)
We like to see a man suffer for a while first otherwise there aint no fun in it :wink:
Why do female black widow spiders kill their mates after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
(nope thats so that other females dont get to know how good he was)
To save other females from suffering a bad performance
Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
(nope again its the only time we have to ourselves to be happy, thats why we whistle a merry tune)
Only because you cant remember more tham one line to a song
What is the difference between men and women ... ?
(you mean that you havent found that out yet)
A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. (and since a woman has many needs she has many men to satisfy them) A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.(and since a man only has one need he only needs one woman to satisfy it) :gagged:
How does a man keep his youth?
By giving her money, furs, and diamonds.
(just like a female they are expensive to keep)
Quality - you get what you pay for :P
How do you keep your husband from reading your email?
Rename the folder to "Instructions Manual"(even when a woman has read the instruction manual she never understands it and needs a males help).
Again feeding his ego, if he feels materful & useful we can get him to do all the mundane shit we cant be bothered to do, giving us more time to shop :thrilled:
sits back an waits for the onslaught :D :D :D
Just like a woman we end up doin everything for you cos everything you do is mundane :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
