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How to turn partner on gain

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have wandered over last 6 months because partner has gone completely off sex. catholic upbringing does not admit to fantasies or being turned on by blue movies although she is at times. so girls waht is best way to turn back on tried all the obvious methods wining dining cruises etc. She is 51 and had hysterectomy in 1987. Any constyructive ideas would be welcome.
LOL
RotT
Time and patience and a lot of love and understanding mate, also Relate may be able to help, they dont just help marriges that are in trouble, may be worth a phonecall, christ must be worth a phonecall.
Good luck
Quote by rotundman
have wandered over last 6 months because partner has gone completely off sex. catholic upbringing does not admit to fantasies or being turned on by blue movies although she is at times. so girls waht is best way to turn back on tried all the obvious methods wining dining cruises etc. She is 51 and had hysterectomy in 1987. Any constyructive ideas would be welcome.

I'm catholic too, and as Robbie Williams so nicely put it "I have my catholic shame" but I don't think it has anything to do with going off sex. Many of my non-catholic friends go off sex too.
She may be stressed or tired. I know I go off sex when I'm under a lot of work pressures.
Try pampering her in little things around the house maybe, the washing up, ironing, cooking... I don't know.... or a small treat like hire a video she likes and order pizza in... whatever is a cosy thing for you to do together. Not big things like hols, just little things like holding hands and curling up together. Make her feel warm inside and sexy and attractive.
Most importantly talk to her gently and see why she is feeling a bit off lately. Be patient. She may know you have been elsewhere and feel so unattractive and unwomanly, esp with the op or menopause on the cards.... Communication with loved ones is the key to kissing and making up.
Good luck.
I can empathise completely with this scenario. I love my wife to bits, but she has been off sex for years. I am told that this is really quite common and probably has a biological trigger linked to the end of child bearing.
Rather than end up bitter and twisted, I have a long-term girlfriend (see pic!) whom I see regularly but discreetly. I would be fairly surprised if my wife does not have some inkling of this relationship, and for sure I would be out on my ear if I was foolish or inconsiderate enough to bring it to her notice. However, I suspect that, as so often, what the eye does not see, the heart does not grieve.
Quote by crosspatch
Rather than end up bitter and twisted, I have a long-term girlfriend (see pic!) whom I see regularly but discreetly. I would be fairly surprised if my wife does not have some inkling of this relationship, and for sure I would be out on my ear if I was foolish or inconsiderate enough to bring it to her notice. However, I suspect that, as so often, what the eye does not see, the heart does not grieve.

dont mean to sound flippant.. but do you think it is wise to have a photo of yourself with your mistress on a website? if someone you know was to visit the site.. it could lead to a lot of bother that i am sure you would rather avoid.
Try talking to her and making sure she's knows that she is loved and wanted and needed.....
Like someone else said, do some little things like going out for a romantic stroll or stay in cuddled up on the Sofa watching a Video....
If shes proper Catholic , cant go wrong with some BDSM
Busty Babe ..... Though I take your point, if someone wants to find out about another, it really isn't that difficult. You are right that I could remove the pic from the forum site, but the advert is a different matter.
Personally, I would not answer an advert without a picture, and I would certainly want to know what the person or couple look like. Just blanking the face is only a slight disguise.
Of course, I could remain as a totally anonymous member, but that for me would rather take away the purpose of being a member at all.
Lest you think, I have taken offense at your (good) advice, I assuredly have not!
Busty Babe ..... I note that your own advert actually asks enquirers to send a facial shot ..... Though I accept this one step removed from having ones face on site, it is only one step.
G is hearing the collective strings of the Cliche Philharmonic Orchestra (mostly the violin section) wafting through this thread .
I could reply , but those that are with me know exactly what I would say .
Peace
Quote by Silk and Big G
If shes proper Catholic , cant go wrong with some BDSM

Do you know me? :shock: lol :lol: :lol:
Quote by crosspatch
Rather than end up bitter and twisted, I have a long-term girlfriend (see pic!) whom I see regularly but discreetly. I would be fairly surprised if my wife does not have some inkling of this relationship, and for sure I would be out on my ear if I was foolish or inconsiderate enough to bring it to her notice. However, I suspect that, as so often, what the eye does not see, the heart does not grieve.

I'm a little dissapointed that you feel you have to "cheat" on your wife. I personally don't consider this swinging, rather shagging around behind a loved one's back. You really think your wife doesn't know? You wonder why your wife won't have sex with you?
<end rant>
You might want to give dressing up a go.............I tried it for mrs davej once, dressed up as a well known telivision personallity....didn't work (probably picked the wrong celebrity), she just giggled, but still worth a try.
Quote by crosspatch
Busty Babe ..... Though I take your point, if someone wants to find out about another, it really isn't that difficult. You are right that I could remove the pic from the forum site, but the advert is a different matter.
Personally, I would not answer an advert without a picture, and I would certainly want to know what the person or couple look like. Just blanking the face is only a slight disguise.
Of course, I could remain as a totally anonymous member, but that for me would rather take away the purpose of being a member at all.
Lest you think, I have taken offense at your (good) advice, I assuredly have not!

Quote by crosspatch
Busty Babe ..... I note that your own advert actually asks enquirers to send a facial shot ..... Though I accept this one step removed from having ones face on site, it is only one step.

i think that perhaps there is a bit of a miss-understanding here.
i don’t have an issue with people being open and honest in what they do.. in fact i applaud the people who wish to show themselves on here.. i think they have a very open and relaxed attitude about their sexuality and what they do with their lives.
i was making a specific point about YOU showing both the faces of yourself and your girlfriend on here, the fact is that you have a wife... who you have admitted you have not told about this... i think that having your photo for public display in your case IS a risky move.. i also to be honest think that it a bit disrespectful. Not only are you having an affair (which i am not going to moralise about... my advert makes my thoughts on that clear).. but you are openly flaunting it on a public medium.
the fact that MY advert asks for a face picture is irrelevant to the discussion as my advert states that married men cheating on their partners are not welcome…. So the people sending photos to me have not got anything to hide anyway.
Quote by davej
You might want to give dressing up a go.............I tried it for mrs davej once, dressed up as a well known telivision personallity....didn't work (probably picked the wrong celebrity), she just giggled, but still worth a try.

PLEASE - PLEASE - PLEASE... which well known TV personality was it?
Mr cuddly jumper Noel Edmonds? Affable Terry Wogan? Acerbic Jerry Paxman? Suave Angus Dayton? Hunky Donal MacIntyre? Debonair Micheal Aspel?
Or was it a woman? lol
Quote by WibblyWobbly
You might want to give dressing up a go.............I tried it for mrs davej once, dressed up as a well known telivision personallity....didn't work (probably picked the wrong celebrity), she just giggled, but still worth a try.

PLEASE - PLEASE - PLEASE... which well known TV personality was it?
Mr cuddly jumper Noel Edmonds? Affable Terry Wogan? Acerbic Jerry Paxman? Suave Angus Dayton? Hunky Donal MacIntyre? Debonair Micheal Aspel?
Or was it a woman? lol
Trevor Mcdonald.
Quote by davej
You might want to give dressing up a go.............I tried it for mrs davej once, dressed up as a well known telivision personallity....didn't work (probably picked the wrong celebrity), she just giggled, but still worth a try.

PLEASE - PLEASE - PLEASE... which well known TV personality was it?
Mr cuddly jumper Noel Edmonds? Affable Terry Wogan? Acerbic Jerry Paxman? Suave Angus Dayton? Hunky Donal MacIntyre? Debonair Micheal Aspel?
Or was it a woman? lol
Trevor Mcdonald.
bloody 'ell davej. thought you was gonna say Rumpole of the bleeding Bailey again! not sure the Trev look is a good one for ya tho mate, to be brutally frank!
neil x x x x ;-)
Quote by neilinleeds
bloody 'ell davej. thought you was gonna say Rumpole of the bleeding Bailey again! not sure the Trev look is a good one for ya tho mate, to be brutally frank!
neil x x x x ;-)

Frank Butcher?
Frankenstein?
Didn't know you were into dressing up with davej. wink lol :gin:
Quote by neilinleeds
bloody 'ell davej. thought you was gonna say Rumpole of the bleeding Bailey again! not sure the Trev look is a good one for ya tho mate, to be brutally frank!
neil x x x x ;-)

well now you bloody tell me....
I was thinking that a change of image might just do the trick .
I figured that she might just get off on the quite, educated and smartly dressed image, against the real me, thats why I went for Trevor and o.k. it didn't exactly work but I'm not put off, I'm already making plans to stun her by dressing up as Timmy Mallet.........
Quote by davej
I'm already making plans to stun her by dressing up as Timmy Mallet.........

And where were you thinking of putting the mallet???????????? :shock:
STUN :shock: is the right word there Davej!
:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:
rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
thread hijackers everywhere beware . . . . you might get more than you bargained for . . . .
shite that would include me wouldn't it??? FFS!!! redface bolt back on topic . . . you were saying????
n x x x :P
..wipes tears from her eyes .... davej you are such a star ... i was trying to guess and when you said TM I just dissolved into a fit of the giggles! It's a crap rainy day here with two small children who are like coiled springs :shock: that laugh has been such great medicine kiss
back on topic .... I too class being married and having a secret mistress as an affair or cheating, not swinging. I don't wish to offend anyone but if only they dedicated as much time and attention to the marriage and making it work, instead of time and attention lying and deceiving sad makes me very sad.
Quote by rotundman
have wandered over last 6 months because partner has gone completely off sex. catholic upbringing does not admit to fantasies or being turned on by blue movies although she is at times. so girls waht is best way to turn back on tried all the obvious methods wining dining cruises etc. She is 51 and had hysterectomy in 1987. Any constyructive ideas would be welcome.
LOL
RotT

Get her on some Testosterone, (a male hormone) an implant every 6 months and you`ll wonder whats hit you. This happened to me after my hysterectomy and Ive been on it now for 5 years and Ive never felt as horny, only trouble is you get hairs growing in funny places redface lol
Prove it moonowls - giz a look at the hairs lol
lol
Awwwwww go on - just you n me - we'll hide somewhere quiet.
I'll show you mine if you show me yours biggrin :D :D
Thanks everyone l my first choice was Rumpole but I would like to know more about testosterone. if you nplease
ROT