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I am in a vile, vile mood today...
Two blokes on a hiking trip were struggling over bleak Yorkshire hills in a winter snowstorm. When, after becoming hopelessly lost at night they stumbled accross a hill top farm house. Banging on the door they were relieved to see a single light come on, and
the opening door revealed a sillouetted woman dressed in her widows men were directed towards a barn for shelter from the storm as the good woman felt it inappropriate that strangers should stay in the house where her recently deceased husband had shared his life with her, and being gentlemen, they had retired to the barn, respectfully leaving the widow to her heralded an abatement in the storm ,and they quietly went on their way leaving the widow some money for her kindness.
Ten month's later, one of the men received a letter from the widows solicitor,and straight away went round to his,'mates house' to confront him with this correspondence!
"Right" said the, 'addressee' "Did you go,and comfort the widow in the night when we sheltered from the storm"?
"Errrm, yes mate, i did" said his friend furtively
"and did you just happen to give her my name, and address as well"?
!Errrm, yes mate i did" said the increasingly nervous friend.
"Well i've just received a formal letter from her solicitor, and all i can say to you is that you have set me right up. THANK YOU VERY MUCH "!
His friend who is now visibly shaking enquires if it is a Boy, 0r a Girl?To which he is told,
"Oh no mate, nothing like that". She died,and left ME the FARM !!!
cc_7up
hope that one cheered you up.
the opening door revealed a sillouetted woman dressed in her widows men were directed towards a barn for shelter from the storm as the good woman felt it inappropriate that strangers should stay in the house where her recently deceased husband had shared his life with her, and being gentlemen, they had retired to the barn, respectfully leaving the widow to her heralded an abatement in the storm ,and they quietly went on their way leaving the widow some money for her kindness.
Ten month's later, one of the men received a letter from the widows solicitor,and straight away went round to his,'mates house' to confront him with this correspondence!
"Right" said the, 'addressee' "Did you go,and comfort the widow in the night when we sheltered from the storm"?
"Errrm, yes mate, i did" said his friend furtively
"and did you just happen to give her my name, and address as well"?
!Errrm, yes mate i did" said the increasingly nervous friend.
"Well i've just received a formal letter from her solicitor, and all i can say to you is that you have set me right up. THANK YOU VERY MUCH "!
His friend who is now visibly shaking enquires if it is a Boy, 0r a Girl?To which he is told,
"Oh no mate, nothing like that". She died,and left ME the FARM !!!
cc_7up
hope that one cheered you up.
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close
>> to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the
>> inevitable,
>>
>> when all of a sudden...
>>
>> "Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I is sure of eet".
>>
>> "Si, Luis, eet smells like bacon to meee".
>>
>> So, with renewed strength, they struggle off up the next sand dune,
>> and there, in the distance, is a tree, just loaded with bacon.
>>
>> There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there's fried bacon, back
>> bacon, double smoked bacon...every imaginable kind of cured pig meat
>> you can imagine!!
>>
>> "Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Eees a bacon tree".
>>
>> "Luis, are sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the desert, don'
>> forget".
>>
>> "Pepe, when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smeell of
>> bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree".
>>
>> And with that...Luis races towards the tree. He gets to within 5
>> metres,
>>
>> Pepe following closely behind, when all of a sudden, a machine
>>
>> gun opens up, and Luis is cut down in his tracks. It is clear he is
>> mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepe
>> with his dying breath.
>>
>> "Pepe...go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree"
>>
>> "Luis, Luis mi amigo...what ees eet?"
>>
>> "Pepe...ees not a bacon tree....
>>
>> Ees.....
>>
>>
>> Ees.....
>>
>>
>> Ees.....
>>
>> .
>>
>>
>> .
>>
>>
>> .
>>
>>
>> .
>>
>>
>> .
>>
>>
>> .
>>
>>
>> .
>>
>>
>> .
>>
>>
>> .
>>
>>
>> .
>>
>>
>>
>> Ees, a Ham Bush"
>>
>>
>> to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the
>> inevitable,
>>
>> when all of a sudden...
>>
>> "Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I is sure of eet".
>>
>> "Si, Luis, eet smells like bacon to meee".
>>
>> So, with renewed strength, they struggle off up the next sand dune,
>> and there, in the distance, is a tree, just loaded with bacon.
>>
>> There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there's fried bacon, back
>> bacon, double smoked bacon...every imaginable kind of cured pig meat
>> you can imagine!!
>>
>> "Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Eees a bacon tree".
>>
>> "Luis, are sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the desert, don'
>> forget".
>>
>> "Pepe, when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smeell of
>> bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree".
>>
>> And with that...Luis races towards the tree. He gets to within 5
>> metres,
>>
>> Pepe following closely behind, when all of a sudden, a machine
>>
>> gun opens up, and Luis is cut down in his tracks. It is clear he is
>> mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepe
>> with his dying breath.
>>
>> "Pepe...go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree"
>>
>> "Luis, Luis mi amigo...what ees eet?"
>>
>> "Pepe...ees not a bacon tree....
>>
>> Ees.....
>>
>>
>> Ees.....
>>
>>
>> Ees.....
>>
>> .
>>
>>
>> .
>>
>>
>> .
>>
>>
>> .
>>
>>
>> .
>>
>>
>> .
>>
>>
>> .
>>
>>
>> .
>>
>>
>> .
>>
>>
>> .
>>
>>
>>
>> Ees, a Ham Bush"
>>
>>
Andy........come over here in me corner!..come on come stop there! :twisted: :twisted: :doh: no bloody corners i see! HUH!! 
:banghead: ..never mind cum!!!!! this way ................................we are nearly there!... :wink: .............now take ya coat off .............. oowwww thats a good boy!.......... now your trousers!. :scared: bloody hell what are those underpants like you are waring :do: ............its mind them!................. now slip the undies off nice and slowly!........... NOT YA BRA!! :doh:
Right thats better good boy!!. :rascal: :rascal: ....................... now stroke it for me nice and slowly!............ no Andy!!!. ..your cock!!!!!! not the bloody cat! :banghead:
Now thats nice mmmmmmmmmm cum and lay over my Knee!..cum on will not bite :twisted:
OOO Andy i am here!!!
. .........do i look like a bloody chair! :doh:
Ok Andy are you ready for me :twisted: :twisted: don't be shy oooooooooooo thats nice!!................... can see all of you now! :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Right now i have you :twisted: here goes!
:smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom:
that for being pissed off !!....Debs does not like it when you are down!
assionkiss: :passionkiss:
:banghead: ..never mind cum!!!!! this way ................................we are nearly there!... :wink: .............now take ya coat off .............. oowwww thats a good boy!.......... now your trousers!. :scared: bloody hell what are those underpants like you are waring :do: ............its mind them!................. now slip the undies off nice and slowly!........... NOT YA BRA!! :doh: Right thats better good boy!!. :rascal: :rascal: ....................... now stroke it for me nice and slowly!............ no Andy!!!. ..your cock!!!!!! not the bloody cat! :banghead:
Now thats nice mmmmmmmmmm cum and lay over my Knee!..cum on will not bite :twisted:
OOO Andy i am here!!!
. .........do i look like a bloody chair! :doh:Ok Andy are you ready for me :twisted: :twisted: don't be shy oooooooooooo thats nice!!................... can see all of you now! :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Right now i have you :twisted: here goes!
:smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: that for being pissed off !!....Debs does not like it when you are down!
assionkiss: :passionkiss: Quote by Debbiewebs
Andy........come over here in me corner!..come on come stop there! :twisted: :twisted: :doh: no bloody corners i see! HUH!!
Right thats better good boy!!. :rascal: :rascal: ....................... now stroke it for me nice and slowly!............ no Andy!!!. ..your cock!!!!!! not the bloody cat! :banghead:
Now thats nice mmmmmmmmmm cum and lay over my Knee!..cum on will not bite :twisted:
OOO Andy i am here!!!
Ok Andy are you ready for me :twisted: :twisted: don't be shy oooooooooooo thats nice!!................... can see all of you now! :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Right now i have you :twisted: here goes!
that for being pissed off !!....Debs does not like it when you are down!
Cheers Debs
getting the cam soon :wink: so expect a PM waiting for you in the near future!! - back to normal(ish) now - going for a few pints with me brother, should do the trick fully, so will be on top of the world if i log back on tonight or more than likley tomorrow.Have a great night everyone!!
p.s a couple of good joke there!!
