ideas for verifying members as genuine

8 Jan 2009

Quote by kentswingers777
If a member has two or three of them on their profile, it would convince us that he was more likely to be genuine and TURN UP.

Okay Kenty... sorry to chop up your post but this bit jumped out at me. Bear with me... (and please remember that I don't really care whether they have a verification system here or not as long as it has the opt out choice for those who wish to opt out) wink

So lets for a moment pretend that I'm a single bloke.
I've been on a few meets and I have a few green ticks with some verbal verfications.
1. I arranged a meet with Mr & Mrs Brown. I turned up, I'm genuine. You have personal issues with Mr & Mrs Brown. Would that change your mind about playing with me?
2. I arranged a meet with Mr & Mrs Green. I turned up, I'm genuine. Mr & Mrs Green's profile clearly states that they like to play bareback. There is no mention of whether I insisted on protection or not. Would that change your mind about playing with me?
3. I arranged a meet with Mr & Mrs Purple. I turned up, I'm genuine. Mr & Mrs Purple were later to be overheard discussing their meeting with me in the chatroom one evening. They said I had a very small penis. As it happens I don't have a very small penis, it just so happens that Mrs Purple has a very big fanny. Would that change your mind about playing with me?
4. I arranged a meet with Mr & Mrs Orange. I turned up, I'm genuine. Mr & Mrs Orange didn't hit it off with me. I couldn't get it up, was incredibly rude to Mrs Orange, Mr Orange punched me and we all went home unhappy. They left me bad feedback. I hid it. Would you be any the wiser?
5. I arranged a meet with Mr & Mrs Pink. I didn't turn up. They left me bad feedback. You wouldn't know about that though. I very cleverly hid it!
Yes we all have people who waste time. Yes we all have different opinions. Yes we all have choices. I just think it's so much better to make up your own mind about people rather than listen to gossip or take other people's word for it because what floats your boat might not necessarily float theirs. Verification isn't just about ensuring that you find people who actually turn up... its about all of the examples I've mentioned above.
I'm mostly just thinking aloud as I do but if Admin have a system in place that allows you to report people who are mascarading as a couple when in fact they are a single bloke and then they deal with it as they see fit then there you have a ready made, built in verification system.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it! :wink:
Oh... and I am most definitely a girl! :giggle:

8 Jan 2009

Quote by staffcple
Kent,
I'm going to ask one question.
How can a feedback system identify the 'timewasters' if it only allows positive feedback? That after all is the theory which is being proposed to justify this whole idea.
The obvious conclusion to draw from that system is any member without feedback will be judged as a 'timewaster' because they have no feedback and possibly ignored by those who do.

As we all know Staffs, this is highly unlikely it will happen. But to say that only positive feedback could be left, is wrong. The reason is none of us know IF a verification system will be brought in, and even if it was, who are any of us to say what it will entail?
Your other point I do not know if that would be the the case. IF there were say three guys we were interested in and one had verification to say he turned up, we would more than likely opt to contact him first. Of course saying that, it does not mean he is the MR nice guy we was looking for. It could just as easily be the other two with NO verfifications.
A verfification at the early stage would only lead us to believe he would turn up. That does not say we would still play though, as verification does not take into account chemistry.
IF and it is a big if, SH do decide to go down this route, the logistics of it, may well be too complicated anyway, unless it can only leave positive things.
On the other site we belong too, we have two verifications. We have met others but we all agreed we did not want anything else said, even though we all had a great meet. We felt a couple was enough to establish us as genuine, and we do meet. We would in the early days have avoided people with a whole list of feedbacks, as they were too Hardened for us at that time. So there has to be a happy medium, but only individuals can determine what those mediums are.
I really feel we are all jumping the gun on this anyway. I have said before and I will say again, I do not think this site will ever have a verification/ feedback system on it. I may be wrong though, and that does not happen often. wink

8 Jan 2009

And just as an aside. I have another profile on the site I use which has verification. I've just verified my other profile and left terrible comments.
The outcome:
My other now profile states that it has been verified genuine with a little green tick but you don't get to read the terrible comments! wink

The result:
Utterly pointless!
:wink:

8 Jan 2009

Kent,
It's a double edged sword.
Nothing allowed but good feedback, which realistically includes any system where people control which feedback they decide to show.
Timewasters will not be identified because no one is any the wiser, simply because of the feedback they might not be showing.
The only people that potentially lose are new members until they get verified and those who don't wish to have a 'I shagged them' list on their profile.
If both types of feedback allowed and if feedback is given it must be shown, good or bad, you'll have a bloody free for all. Someone gives negative feedback for a genuine reason I absolutely guarantee they will get it back, probably in spades.
Timewasters are not identified because no one will give bad feedback for fear of having their reputations ruined by people who will say anything to take the heat off themselves.
The people that lose out are those who give negative feedback for genuine reasons.
If you need any proof of how likely negative feedback is to be shown, have a look round the other site you mentioned, I will wager you won't find an awful lot of negative (there in pink btw) feedbacks and any you do find will be stupid ones about an abusive message or directing in the chatroom.
Are you seeing where I'm going here?
I'm pretty sure a system will be coming, as others have said, the "never's" have changed to "if's"

8 Jan 2009

Quote by Dirtygirlie

If a member has two or three of them on their profile, it would convince us that he was more likely to be genuine and TURN UP.

Okay Kenty... sorry to chop up your post but this bit jumped out at me. Bear with me... (and please remember that I don't really care whether they have a verification system here or not as long as it has the opt out choice for those who wish to opt out) wink

So lets for a moment pretend that I'm a single bloke.
I've been on a few meets and I have a few green ticks with some verbal verfications.
1. I arranged a meet with Mr & Mrs Brown. I turned up, I'm genuine. You have personal issues with Mr & Mrs Brown. Would that change your mind about playing with me?
2. I arranged a meet with Mr & Mrs Green. I turned up, I'm genuine. Mr & Mrs Green's profile clearly states that they like to play bareback. There is no mention of whether I insisted on protection or not. Would that change your mind about playing with me?
3. I arranged a meet with Mr & Mrs Purple. I turned up, I'm genuine. Mr & Mrs Purple were later to be overheard discussing their meeting with me in the chatroom one evening. They said I had a very small penis. As it happens I don't have a very small penis, it just so happens that Mrs Purple has a very big fanny. Would that change your mind about playing with me?
4. I arranged a meet with Mr & Mrs Orange. I turned up, I'm genuine. Mr & Mrs Orange didn't hit it off with me. I couldn't get it up, was incredibly rude to Mrs Orange, Mr Orange punched me and we all went home unhappy. They left me bad feedback. I hid it. Would you be any the wiser?
5. I arranged a meet with Mr & Mrs Pink. I didn't turn up. They left me bad feedback. You wouldn't know about that though. I very clerverly hid it!
Yes we all have people who waste time. Yes we all have different opinions. Yes we all have choices. I just think it's so much better to make up your own mind about people rather than listen to gossip or take other people's word for it because what floats your boat might not necessarily float theirs. Verification isn't just about ensuring that you find people who actually turn up... its about all of the examples I've mentioned above.
I'm mostly just thinking aloud as I do but if Admin have a system in place that allows you to report people who are mascarading as a couple when in fact they are a single bloke and then they deal with it as they see fit then there you have a ready made, built in verification system.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it! :wink:
Oh... and I am most definitely a girl! :giggle:its a pity then that admin. dont deal with it they dont even reply when you submit dodgy profiles money is more important

8 Jan 2009

Quote by Dirtygirlie
Loads of stuff . . .

And of course DG, after all that, it turns out that your genuine single male, who's done everything right, and is a thoroughly nice guy, and has been verified as a really, really genuine single male by half a dozen different people turns out to be . . well . . . married! ;) The verification is absolutely worthless, beyond the fact that he actually turns up for meets, cos despite the verification he's still not what he says he is, and the system designed to stamp out deceit has actually enabled the lie.
N x x x ;)

8 Jan 2009

Quote by neilinleeds
Loads of stuff . . .

And of course DG, after all that, it turns out that your genuine single male, who's done everything right, and is a thoroughly nice guy, and has been verified as a really, really genuine single male by half a dozen different people turns out to be . . well . . . married! ;) The verification is absolutely worthless, beyond the fact that he actually turns up for meets, cos despite the verification he's still not what he says he is, and the system designed to stamp out deceit has actually enabled the lie.
N x x x ;)
Nail and head! :thumbup:
Smart and a peachy arse! passionkiss

8 Jan 2009

Verification is obviously a kind of feedback, and not just for turning up to meets etc, it would also be used for general attitude/behaviour.
And in conversations in chatrooms, at munches and with friends, I have heard a number of examples of this:
Single bloke: "Fancy a shag?"
Woman: "No thank you"
Single Bloke "You are fat and ugly, I was only offering it to do you a favour"
But as long as he has turned on the charm enough to get his ticks, he has done enough, and I know a number of people believe in "if you don't have anything nice to say, then say nothing at all" so that guy might 'escape' anything negative being put on his profile, or being reported to mods/admin, because "he ain't worth it" so therefore, because he has shown up, because he has got good feedback previously, all looks good.
I am a single guy, and yes, they are ten a penny, and therefore, quite a few slip the net, after all, take the forum, there are some people who are more vocal in the forum, with a large number on the periphery, so surely, it is possible the quiet ones are the ones that won't be giving negative feedback?

8 Jan 2009

Quote by neilinleeds
Loads of stuff . . .

And of course DG, after all that, it turns out that your genuine single male, who's done everything right, and is a thoroughly nice guy, and has been verified as a really, really genuine single male by half a dozen different people turns out to be . . well . . . married! ;) The verification is absolutely worthless, beyond the fact that he actually turns up for meets, cos despite the verification he's still not what he says he is, and the system designed to stamp out deceit has actually enabled the lie.
N x x x ;)
Yes that is a factor, but we still believe a validation system has more pro's than cons.

8 Jan 2009

Quote by Cossie
Loads of stuff . . .

And of course DG, after all that, it turns out that your genuine single male, who's done everything right, and is a thoroughly nice guy, and has been verified as a really, really genuine single male by half a dozen different people turns out to be . . well . . . married! ;) The verification is absolutely worthless, beyond the fact that he actually turns up for meets, cos despite the verification he's still not what he says he is, and the system designed to stamp out deceit has actually enabled the lie.
N x x x ;)
Yes that is a factor, but we still believe a validation system has more pro's than cons.
While I sit here on the fence... do you think you could you do a list of what the pros and cons are? dunno

It might make more sense to me if there's a list of goods and bads in black and white from someone who is pro verification.
Cause at the moment, I just see it as a big con for all concerned. lol

8 Jan 2009

I cannot give you a list, but the validation system will only work if the only people who can validate are payed up members and the monthly amounts should be quite high. This will reduce the people making other accounts and validating them selfs.
I know if a couple splits this could cause problems, but on SDC it does not. If a couple has had good validations they are real swingers or all what happens is the profile is changed by the user saying now single. The validations will still help the single person as we all know they are real and go to meets.
The pro's
We know the couple have played before, we know they are real. Thats 90% what we need.
its better than, spending days being chatted up some bloke wanking him self silly at thought of wasting our time or trying his best to get pictures out of us.
Then there is the real couples who like the idea of swinging but so not have the balls to do it, so once again we waste our much valued time and even though they are real and a couple nothing is going to come of it.
so for us there is the pros
The cons
yes the married man thing, but for us we cannot think of anything which effects us using the other site.
Sorry about the ramble, I had people comming into my office at work and have lost the thread a little

8 Jan 2009

Quote by Cossie
But the validation system will only work if the only people who can validate are payed up members and the monthly amounts should be quite high.

How high would you like them? £20? £30? £40?
I despair, really I do. Not only do you want a verification system that will not serve the purpose you and others want it to (rooting out and removing timewasters from the site) Your now actually advocating what? A raise in the monthly subs? Paying more to be able to validate?
Yeah, you sold me on it alright...... :giveup:

8 Jan 2009

I am not trying to sell it, I must be truthfull I am happy on SDC. All I am pointing out is why we went to SDC. We will always have a soft spot for this site, even then for our first meet, it was a small house party just to be sure.

8 Jan 2009

Quote by dorkandwindy

If a member has two or three of them on their profile, it would convince us that he was more likely to be genuine and TURN UP.

Okay Kenty... sorry to chop up your post but this bit jumped out at me. Bear with me... (and please remember that I don't really care whether they have a verification system here or not as long as it has the opt out choice for those who wish to opt out) wink

So lets for a moment pretend that I'm a single bloke.
I've been on a few meets and I have a few green ticks with some verbal verfications.
1. I arranged a meet with Mr & Mrs Brown. I turned up, I'm genuine. You have personal issues with Mr & Mrs Brown. Would that change your mind about playing with me?
2. I arranged a meet with Mr & Mrs Green. I turned up, I'm genuine. Mr & Mrs Green's profile clearly states that they like to play bareback. There is no mention of whether I insisted on protection or not. Would that change your mind about playing with me?
3. I arranged a meet with Mr & Mrs Purple. I turned up, I'm genuine. Mr & Mrs Purple were later to be overheard discussing their meeting with me in the chatroom one evening. They said I had a very small penis. As it happens I don't have a very small penis, it just so happens that Mrs Purple has a very big fanny. Would that change your mind about playing with me?
4. I arranged a meet with Mr & Mrs Orange. I turned up, I'm genuine. Mr & Mrs Orange didn't hit it off with me. I couldn't get it up, was incredibly rude to Mrs Orange, Mr Orange punched me and we all went home unhappy. They left me bad feedback. I hid it. Would you be any the wiser?
5. I arranged a meet with Mr & Mrs Pink. I didn't turn up. They left me bad feedback. You wouldn't know about that though. I very clerverly hid it!
Yes we all have people who waste time. Yes we all have different opinions. Yes we all have choices. I just think it's so much better to make up your own mind about people rather than listen to gossip or take other people's word for it because what floats your boat might not necessarily float theirs. Verification isn't just about ensuring that you find people who actually turn up... its about all of the examples I've mentioned above.
I'm mostly just thinking aloud as I do but if Admin have a system in place that allows you to report people who are mascarading as a couple when in fact they are a single bloke and then they deal with it as they see fit then there you have a ready made, built in verification system.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it! :wink:
Oh... and I am most definitely a girl! :giggle:its a pity then that admin. dont deal with it they dont even reply when you submit dodgy profiles money is more important
I disagree - all reports are looked into.

8 Jan 2009

Quote by Dirtygirlie
And just as an aside. I have another profile on the site I use which has verification. I've just verified my other profile and left terrible comments.
The outcome:
My other now profile states that it has been verified genuine with a little green tick but you don't get to read the terrible comments!
The result:
Utterly pointless!
:wink:

Not pointless it just proves some people can be dishonest, but we all already know that, and if a site offering verifications took them seriously, then IP’s would be logged when leaving any and the use of proxies would be prohibited.
That’s like saying it’s pointless having police as crime still happens.
Someone asked to put forward the pro’s and cons, however this is impossible unless anyone knows the system that would be used, however lets forget the feedback issues, being verified as being a couple, yes a real couple or single female/male would certainly have more pro’s than cons, no it won’t stop you from being let down, verifications will never do this, and we doubt anyone will meet anyone just because they have a tick, It certainly would help a couple for example searching for a female, knowing they had been verified via admin as being a female, and with a system like this everyone would have a tick, even new members, if they didn’t then you’d have to ask yourself why.
This only verifies that you are what you say you are, a lot of people keep mentioning timewasters, well for us, nothing will ever stop timewasters and if this is your reason for wanting verifications then it’s a poor reason, as the only thing verifications will do is give you an indication that the person/people you contact are what you think they are, yes it can be abused etc, but if it halves the number of people pretending to be something they are not is that not a good thing in itself?
At the end of the day it would depend on any system in place, all we are doing here is finding flaws in other sites systems as that’s all we can do, we couldn’t care less if they bring a system in here if being honest, been here long enough without it to start worrying now, however through experience it can and does help on other sites, the only argument is that its not foolproof, we agree but nothing is foolproof.
Excellent discussion by the way :thumbup:

8 Jan 2009

Quote by anais

If a member has two or three of them on their profile, it would convince us that he was more likely to be genuine and TURN UP.

Okay Kenty... sorry to chop up your post but this bit jumped out at me. Bear with me... (and please remember that I don't really care whether they have a verification system here or not as long as it has the opt out choice for those who wish to opt out) wink

So lets for a moment pretend that I'm a single bloke.
I've been on a few meets and I have a few green ticks with some verbal verfications.
1. I arranged a meet with Mr & Mrs Brown. I turned up, I'm genuine. You have personal issues with Mr & Mrs Brown. Would that change your mind about playing with me?
2. I arranged a meet with Mr & Mrs Green. I turned up, I'm genuine. Mr & Mrs Green's profile clearly states that they like to play bareback. There is no mention of whether I insisted on protection or not. Would that change your mind about playing with me?
3. I arranged a meet with Mr & Mrs Purple. I turned up, I'm genuine. Mr & Mrs Purple were later to be overheard discussing their meeting with me in the chatroom one evening. They said I had a very small penis. As it happens I don't have a very small penis, it just so happens that Mrs Purple has a very big fanny. Would that change your mind about playing with me?
4. I arranged a meet with Mr & Mrs Orange. I turned up, I'm genuine. Mr & Mrs Orange didn't hit it off with me. I couldn't get it up, was incredibly rude to Mrs Orange, Mr Orange punched me and we all went home unhappy. They left me bad feedback. I hid it. Would you be any the wiser?
5. I arranged a meet with Mr & Mrs Pink. I didn't turn up. They left me bad feedback. You wouldn't know about that though. I very clerverly hid it!
Yes we all have people who waste time. Yes we all have different opinions. Yes we all have choices. I just think it's so much better to make up your own mind about people rather than listen to gossip or take other people's word for it because what floats your boat might not necessarily float theirs. Verification isn't just about ensuring that you find people who actually turn up... its about all of the examples I've mentioned above.
I'm mostly just thinking aloud as I do but if Admin have a system in place that allows you to report people who are mascarading as a couple when in fact they are a single bloke and then they deal with it as they see fit then there you have a ready made, built in verification system.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it! :wink:
Oh... and I am most definitely a girl! :giggle:its a pity then that admin. dont deal with it they dont even reply when you submit dodgy profiles money is more important
I disagree - all reports are looked really have sent in two support tickets and never had reply anyway not really interested in you comments thx

8 Jan 2009

Quote by dorkandwindy
oh really have sent in two support tickets and never had reply anyway not really interested in you comments thx

Deleted to keep things moving.

8 Jan 2009

Quote by Deviants
Excellent discussion by the way :thumbup:

Isn't it! :thumbup:
I'll come back to the rest later but thought perhaps now would be a good time to point out that fourteen pages of discussion without any nastiness on a topic that has been insteresting with varied opinions is a breath of fresh air! wink

EDIT: fifteen! :mrgreen:

8 Jan 2009

I don't want to be verified, if you don't get to know that I am genuine by talking to me, then you ain't getting in my knickers. Pretty simple really.
However, if anyone knows someone that can tile, wallpaper or build me a drive, step this way, I'll verify you all for 30 minutes of your time :thumbup:
What dunno

8 Jan 2009

Quote by Dawnie
I don't want to be verified, if you don't get to know that I am genuine by talking to me, then you ain't getting in my knickers. Pretty simple really.
However, if anyone knows someone that can tile, wallpaper or build me a drive, step this way, I'll verify you all for 30 minutes of your time :thumbup:
Dawnie...Get Real, you cant lay a drive in 30minutes lol
What

8 Jan 2009

why not demo validations for say 3 months then after a vote

8 Jan 2009

Quote by Cossie
why not demo validations for say 3 months then after a vote

Is that before or after they charge huge fees for a monthly subscription?! :giggle:

8 Jan 2009

oi lol
that's buggered that idea then lol

8 Jan 2009

:x :x :x :x :x
Will I never learn?? Just typed an almost essay and hadn't noticed my connection had dropped banghead

so I lost the lot!!!
To give everyone what they want, why not make any validation/verification system an Opt-in system???
It gives members the opportunity to choose for themselves whether they want to take part, protects the reputations of anyone no longer active on the site (but still with membership).
You wouldn't know if people just hadn't activated the option or if they were making a conscious decision not to take part.
In any lifestyle choice involving sex the prominent words are always INFORMED CHOICE!
Give people the choice to opt-in and you are less likely to get conflict, no-one feels that their choice has been removed or made for them and it means that both sides of the argument have their needs met.
Each time new features are added there is uproar with people not liking it, but with the potential here to cause upset and possibly destroy reputations I really think that Admin need to make this a two way conversation, listen and not enforce a system on the members but instead enable a system that meets the needs of those wanting, whilst not alienating those that don't want!

8 Jan 2009

It is nice to see the site owners are sending us a survey to fill in, and seeking our opinions on things!
Even though this thred topic is not one of the questions! smile

(in edit..... please can i fill out my own survey, mike did ours , and his opinions are different to mine. I am more active on this site than he is. Please send me another... if anyone in the higher place sees this post!)

8 Jan 2009

well Calista,
we think you are spot on, we think it covers most area's.
I think one of the best things about SH is the forum, we have joined loads of Swinging sites and we think SH's forum is very busy, but what you will find a high percentage use it as a social meeting place, who do not play anymore, which we think makes this place stand out from the crowd, which is a good thing. so how do you remove the time wasters and still keep the People who make SH what it is.
I wish I could come up with a good idea how to sort it.
As I see it, on this site you have 30% of people who are real swingers. 50% who just there for what ever reason confused

and 20% who are alomst ex swingers but like the social side. How can the admins cover all the bases ?

8 Jan 2009

No system would be forced on anyone, completely upto users if they want it turned on.
Really after help thinking of the best way for it to work for those who do want it. wink

8 Jan 2009

Quote by Martin_M
No system would be forced on anyone, completely upto users if they want it turned on.
Really after help thinking of the best way for it to work for those who do want it.

Is it going to be introduced as automatically on ... or you have to turn it on? There will be a huge difference in reaction between the two.
If it's introduced as a "opt in" then all the naysayers will be satisfied (hopefully) .... leaving those wanting the system to discuss how the best way to work it.

8 Jan 2009

Quote by Martin_M
No system would be forced on anyone, completely upto users if they want it turned on.
Really after help thinking of the best way for it to work for those who do want it.

The way it works on other sites that I belong to.
Verification can be simply a 'tick' to say that you are 'verified' by someone else that has already been verified in their turn.
That gives people the option of asking the people who verified you what their thoughts are.
The full verification can be the whole comments and detail which must be approved by the recipient before it is added to on their profile. Again this gives the readers the option of contacting the people that have commented for detail.
I for one wouldn't welcome being commented on. And wouldn't ask for it... but it would certainly help give me an indication if someone is more likely to meet and has met before. (I can't tell you the number of times that people have got cold feet because they haven't 'swung' before)
As long as stuff can be approved by the recipient then it is all good in my book.
To me it would work in a similar way to the quickie thing that we have now. Which we can delete or not... Ummm I think that is it from me.
It is simple in my opinion. Opting in or out as the person wishes. Everyone is happy. ( yeah I know rolleyes

)

8 Jan 2009

Quote by Calista
No system would be forced on anyone, completely upto users if they want it turned on.
Really after help thinking of the best way for it to work for those who do want it.

Is it going to be introduced as automatically on ... or you have to turn it on? There will be a huge difference in reaction between the two.
If it's introduced as a "opt in" then all the naysayers will be satisfied (hopefully) .... leaving those wanting the system to discuss how the best way to work it.
:thumbup: I completely agree
I don't want to be forced to opt out.
It should be an "OPT IN" option if it HAS to be introduced!
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

do you think the site should have a verification system