ideas for verifying members as genuine

do you think the site should have a verification system

6 Jan 2009

If verification comes in then I guess that will be another nail in the coffin for us on SH, It just seems that the site is getting more and more complicated and less and less easy to use. The basis that this site is about swingers and the people interested in swingers is becoming secondary to it being another piece of internet faff.
Look at the groups thing ffs 300 odd groups and most of them total bollox. Each one with its own sort of forum effect in it - taking away people from the general forums we already have yet fragmenting the site into itsy bitsy pieces, dross in some cases.
Can you imagine how many are going to dredge up the facy in chatrooms etc if a couple or single are not verified and shout the odds.
I feel after reading this thread that we have been subtly informed that verification is on its way.
Makes a mockery of the endless times representatives of the site have said "this site will never have a verification system" It just makes them all a bunch of liars doesn't it?
This site is losing its ease of use uniqueness and becoming one and the same as a myriad of similar swinging sites some totally free. Do SH feel as if they need to justify their wages/money by tweaking this and that? Nah I don't think so. A cool site it is still but the words skin and teeth come to mind.
Oh yah boo bollox :-(

6 Jan 2009

Quote by blonde

Computer says NO!!! :giggle:
Sam x

*cough*

6 Jan 2009

Quote by Kff30
it would be no diffrent to having the option to put photos on your profile or not it would just be another aid for members to use if they CHOOSE too

So, I ask again. If I CHOOSE not to use a verification system, would that then mean that you CHOOSE not to meet me (or anyone else who chooses not to use the system) because I'm not verified and therefore likely to be a non-genuine member? dunno

6 Jan 2009

Ok,
You wish to have a system that flags up 'time wasters'
Define a 'time waster'
Then think about all of the possible, plausible and perfectly valid reasons why people do not show up when arrangements have been made.
Then think about the ways it can be abused.
Then remember this is a pay site, people have paid to use these facilities in whatever way they see fit, within the AUP.
No verification system is foolproof, no verification system is better than your intuition and feeling.

6 Jan 2009

Quote by Kff30
this thread was started by me to get suggestions on what sort of system ppl think would work most of the posts have been a rant for or against
what would be so wrong with having a system where a member can have on there profile "this member has been verified as genuine" we could choose to show comments from other members we could choose to show names of members leaving comments we could choose to display the information we wanted if it was set up so every time we got a negative report it showed this some how it could be as simple as something saying "this member has 1 negative report"
if this was a opt in or out option then members can choose to do want they want i beilive this system would help ppl
if a system like this was in place we would use it for sure it would be our choice and that would be the point if its down to each member to choose for them self then why should it be a problem to any other member who is not in favour of varification
it would be no diffrent to having the option to put photos on your profile or not it would just be another aid for members to use if they CHOOSE too

With respect the poll asks the question about whether or not we'd like a verification system. The rest of the thread bar the odd small hijack is discussing that with both for and against. The rant parts are there because it is how people feel about the ideam both ways.

6 Jan 2009

Quote by Kff30
this thread was started by me to get suggestions on what sort of system ppl think would work most of the posts have been a rant for or against

I don't see any "rants" at all. You posted, asked for comments, and members here have taken the trouble to give you their carefully considered opinions. Believe me, this doesn't always happen in the cafe! I can't see that you have any reason to complain so far.

6 Jan 2009

Quote by fem_4_taboo
its a adult site, act safe and suss them out for yourself.

I couldnt agree more, if adults want to meet other adults for adult fun, them surely they are adult enough to take some action to find out if the person is genuine rather than just rely on a tick on a profile.
But it seems we can always opt out of a verification system and along with newer members, who have not had the chance to 'physically prove' they are genuine, we can leave the 'instant shaggers' to their verification system while we take the old fashioned route of getting to know someone before we jump into their knickers wink

And all of the above is said purely with my tongue firmly stuck in the side of my cheek, and no offence to anyone who prefers an instant shag, bloody good luck to you, wish I had the guts to do it :wink:

6 Jan 2009

but whats genuine??
i have found in the last year the site has changed massivesly.
yes membership has rissen, but in single ( i use the word single losely) males i think,
it was a easy to use site, respected privacy and stuckby its origional reasons and standards.
it was a swinging site, not a sex site. a community.
thats what bought people here,thats what made people stay.
ive seen many friends hit that cancel membership seen people not justifying the cost to stay.
there are free sites out there that are offering what this site origionally offered.
one massive plus point to this site is the mods and ops and the free fantastic job they do. but howlong will that remain? i worry the personal touch and judgements made by people in the lifestyle who help run the site will eventually be lost to.
it was like a co-op before.
the two things i remember when i joined 4 and half years ago were this...
it is free totally and will always remain that way.
it will never have verification.
this site was so populer cuse it was DIFFERENT to the rest.
the groups i think will die out, this site is not so big in true reguler logg in members to handle being spread so thin.
that might work for the world wide american based sites, but not here.
small, compact and easy is what i liked.
sorry rambled.
xx fem xx

6 Jan 2009

EWGHHHH i dont wanna know who youve shagged, end of.
its tacky, it proves nothing,it just proves youve had a shag before, i can show my kids birth certificates if thats the case. confused

again i say verification, genuine, timewasters,testimonials....can someone plese define each word??? hard ehh ,now mod it.
xx fem xx

6 Jan 2009

Quote by Kff30
do you choose not to meet guys that dont have any photos on their profile ???

Umm... No. If I get chatting to someone and get on well with them then I'll find a way of working around it if they have no picture. I fail to see how that's relevant though.
And you still haven't answered my question ;)
So. I have photos on my profile. There is a verification system, but I don't agree with it and have chosen to opt out. Am I automatically consigned to the "timewaster" pile because I'm not verified?
Someone said earlier that we would end up with a two-tier system, and I agree. Verified people will end up only meeting other verified people. And those of us that choose not to use the verification will be ignored because we're all fakes and timewasters ;)

6 Jan 2009

Quote by Kff30
no i wouldnt clas them as a time waster if i dont know them it takes time to find out and get a feeling about members and even with the varification system it would still take as long before arranging a meet we would just feel more secure if we knew that the member was verified and not going to waste our time when meeting

So basically it wouldn't save you any time anyway. But you'd have a list of who they'd met before, or whether they were a good shag, or some other such nonsense about them.
Again, what is the point of verification? Because I still fail to see it myself confused

6 Jan 2009

By the way, feelings do run quite high around this subject on this site. This 52 page thread might give you an idea of why.
For info, I was verified without my consent in the original "chatroom verification" and was not happy about it at all. I wouldn't be happy about it now either. If people can't be bothered to get to know me themselves then it's no loss to me if they decide against meeting me. I just think it will/would be a very sad day for the site as a whole if we do end up with it. The two-tier system is bound to happen, and split and splinter the site members yet again.

6 Jan 2009

Quote by fem_4_taboo
EWGHHHH i dont wanna know who youve shagged, end of.
its tacky, it proves nothing,it just proves youve had a shag before, i can show my kids birth certificates if thats the case.
again i say
verification, posting/receiving a post that you are a real person
genuine, posting/receiving a post stating that you shag?
timewasters, posting/receiving a post stating that you don't shag everything with a pulse
testimonials something to do with the bible? :dunno:
....can someone plese define each word??? see above
xx fem xx

Computer still says NO! :giggle:
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

6 Jan 2009

Quote by Lost
If verification comes in then I guess that will be another nail in the coffin for us on SH, It just seems that the site is getting more and more complicated and less and less easy to use. The basis that this site is about swingers and the people interested in swingers is becoming secondary to it being another piece of internet faff.
Look at the groups thing ffs 300 odd groups and most of them total bollox. Each one with its own sort of forum effect in it - taking away people from the general forums we already have yet fragmenting the site into itsy bitsy pieces, dross in some cases.
Can you imagine how many are going to dredge up the facy in chatrooms etc if a couple or single are not verified and shout the odds.
I feel after reading this thread that we have been subtly informed that verification is on its way.
Makes a mockery of the endless times representatives of the site have said "this site will never have a verification system" It just makes them all a bunch of liars doesn't it?
This site is losing its ease of use uniqueness and becoming one and the same as a myriad of similar swinging sites some totally free. Do SH feel as if they need to justify their wages/money by tweaking this and that? Nah I don't think so. A cool site it is still but the words skin and teeth come to mind.
Oh yah boo bollox :-(

Lost
I to am also of that oppinion after reading some of the comments.
I get the impression that this subject has been discussed behind closed doors and it will come sooner than later.
medic_1

6 Jan 2009

Quote by Angel Chat
For info, I was verified without my consent in the original "chatroom verification" and was not happy about it at all.

Yep me too and to say I wasn't a happy bunny is an understatement!!! :giggle:
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

6 Jan 2009

i dunno im warming to the idea,,, after all there seems to be a high percantage of single females who are saying they will refuse to opt into the verification system. think of all those time wasters who will now leave us alone,,, oh sorry silly me corse they wont be timewasters cuse they are verified members lol
now a big issue for me is single guys who aint single, how easy is it for them to be verified as being male and single?? piece of piss. it wont mean they are genuinely single.
I will NOT meet any one if they have testimonials.
if we go down the road i will opt out and make it clear on my profile that i will not meet those who have opted in.
no big deal for me, im a single bi fem, dont think ill have a problem getting a shag,and be wary those who state they will only talk to people who are verified, as people like me,and lots of other single bi fems will be rulled out.
if its used as as selling point to get members in what woudlthe figures look like.....
660,000 members... 660,000 verified as single males, no verified single bi fems lol
xx fem xx

6 Jan 2009

Quote by medic_1
If verification comes in then I guess that will be another nail in the coffin for us on SH, It just seems that the site is getting more and more complicated and less and less easy to use. The basis that this site is about swingers and the people interested in swingers is becoming secondary to it being another piece of internet faff.
Look at the groups thing ffs 300 odd groups and most of them total bollox. Each one with its own sort of forum effect in it - taking away people from the general forums we already have yet fragmenting the site into itsy bitsy pieces, dross in some cases.
Can you imagine how many are going to dredge up the facy in chatrooms etc if a couple or single are not verified and shout the odds.
I feel after reading this thread that we have been subtly informed that verification is on its way.
Makes a mockery of the endless times representatives of the site have said "this site will never have a verification system" It just makes them all a bunch of liars doesn't it?
This site is losing its ease of use uniqueness and becoming one and the same as a myriad of similar swinging sites some totally free. Do SH feel as if they need to justify their wages/money by tweaking this and that? Nah I don't think so. A cool site it is still but the words skin and teeth come to mind.
Oh yah boo bollox :-(

Lost
I to am also of that oppinion after reading some of the comments.
I get the impression that this subject has been discussed behind closed doors and it will come sooner than later.
medic_1
I think it would be nice if one member one vote system was put in place if this were the case.
I dont agree with it, but if the high majority of people wanted it, then I guess SH would have no option than to apply it.

6 Jan 2009

verification should be seen as a aid to swinging with genuine members there is many things ppl can do on here to prove they are genuine
you can pay for member ship .......................
but no one does ever meet non paid members do they
because we all think if they havnt paid they aint genuine
:giggle:
I havent paid for my membership because I have been here for a while ......... now I find out I am not genuine and no-one will ever meet me?????
Thanks for the best giggle I've had all day
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

6 Jan 2009

Quote by Kff30
the question keeps getting asked would we not meet non verified members

I think it keeps being asked because you still haven't answered that question as far as I can see :lol2:

Quote by Kff30
it would create a two tier system
well we have that now how many of you reading this dont meet non paid up members who wink you ??
just because they havnt paid doesnt mean they might not be genuine

I don't get winks. They get an automatic reply from me saying I'd rather have a proper message ;)

Quote by Kff30
but no one does ever meet non paid members do they
because we all think if they havnt paid they aint genuine

Not strictly true. I haven't paid, but I'm genuine. And I still don't want verification :giggle:

Quote by Kff30
every body looks for differnt things when making their mind up about another member if we had a varification system on here it would be another aid in helping us make our minds up

Yes, you're right. But if there was a verification system in place where people had a choice as to whether to use it or not, would you meet people who chose not to use it? :lol2:

6 Jan 2009

Quote by Angel Chat
By the way, feelings do run quite high around this subject on this site. This 52 page thread might give you an idea of why.

Oh no!

ops: :oops:
Funny, that famous/notorious thread some bloke started used to have 53 pages. I wonder which posts went missing. confused

6 Jan 2009

Quote by MikeNorth
Funny, that famous/notorious thread some bloke started used to have 53 pages. I wonder which posts went missing.

I thought it did!! Then I decided I must have remembered wrong because it was so long ago lol

And on that note, I'm going taking down my Christmas tree. Someone told me today I should have done that yesterday... another thing for me to spend time wondering about ;)

6 Jan 2009

How do you know who is a paid memember and who isn't?
Doesn't show on my profile that information.

6 Jan 2009

Quote by Dave__Notts
My suggestion would be to pick your playing partners better.
Choosing an advert and arranging a meet without a cam confirmation, phone confirmation or a social meet first would probably end in a no show.
Accept that it is you that is letting yourself down and stop blaming the site as it doesn't have a verification system.
KENTY, you are right. This country does blame everything else bar themselves. Oh hang on.......you are in favour of the verification system
Dave_Notts

I usually am Davey. wink

You do make me laugh........as in with you and not at you
Dave_Notts
Am sure some do Davey.
:shock:

6 Jan 2009

Quote by kentswingers777
My suggestion would be to pick your playing partners better.
Choosing an advert and arranging a meet without a cam confirmation, phone confirmation or a social meet first would probably end in a no show.
Accept that it is you that is letting yourself down and stop blaming the site as it doesn't have a verification system.
KENTY, you are right. This country does blame everything else bar themselves. Oh hang on.......you are in favour of the verification system
Dave_Notts

I usually am Davey. wink

You do make me laugh........as in with you and not at you
Dave_Notts
Am sure some do Davey.
:shock:
I do! :lol:
:bolt:

6 Jan 2009

Quote by flower411
I think it would be nice if one member one vote system was put in place if this were the case.
I dont agree with it, but if the high majority of people wanted it, then I guess SH would have no option than to apply it.

Isn`t that how all the mutual building societies became banks ??
Bloody democracy !! rolleyes

What do you suggest if there is a chance of it coming anyway?

6 Jan 2009

Quote by Theladyisaminx
My suggestion would be to pick your playing partners better.
Choosing an advert and arranging a meet without a cam confirmation, phone confirmation or a social meet first would probably end in a no show.
Accept that it is you that is letting yourself down and stop blaming the site as it doesn't have a verification system.
KENTY, you are right. This country does blame everything else bar themselves. Oh hang on.......you are in favour of the verification system
Dave_Notts

I usually am Davey. wink

You do make me laugh........as in with you and not at you
Dave_Notts
Am sure some do Davey.
:shock:
I do! :lol:
:bolt:
Minxy....... I never listen to what you say anyways. :lol:
Your all waffle!! :wink:

6 Jan 2009

KFF.
Look on page one I think the third reply down. It was from me. lol

Now read it again, and that has now proved to be the case. This has been talked about for ages, and it seems most do not want it.
We would be quite happy to verify we are genuine, but then again we have pics up and a filled out profile.
A lot on here have no pics, or even a profile filled out. What chance have you of getting those people to get verified?
I cannot understand why people have no pics, and am not talking about facial ones. Or why some lazy buggers do not even fill out their profiles.
A lot say about discretion, I say bollocks to that. If we can do it, then why can't others?
You are wasting your time even discussing the verification thingy, as it ain't gonna happen m8. wink

6 Jan 2009

Quote by varca
I think it would be nice if one member one vote system was put in place if this were the case.
I dont agree with it, but if the high majority of people wanted it, then I guess SH would have no option than to apply it.

Isn`t that how all the mutual building societies became banks ??
Bloody democracy !! rolleyes

I don't think one vote per member would be fair, that would guarantee to give us the system many do not want. Why? A question with a Yes/No tick box on everyone's Home Page that just says, 'Would you like this site to have a Verification System?" would give lots more Yes votes than Nos because you can guarantee that most will not think it through and come up with all the reasoned arguments as to why it will not work.
I would be interested in knowing what percentage of members only use the Ad system, how many use Chat only, how many use only the Forum, how many use a combination of all three. My guess is that the majority only use the Ads and I would lay money on them giving a different response to that question than those who use the other site vehicles too as we are seeing here in this Poll.
If there is to be a Poll it should be done here in the Forum, where all members are pointed to a thread such as this to read the whys and wherefores/pros and cons and then and only then can they click a voting button.
Fair points.
I would only know what you meant by it by reading the forums so I could make a more informed choice, so good points raised.
I agree if it is coming then an opting out button would give everyone a fairer choice I guess.

6 Jan 2009

Quote by Theladyisaminx
My suggestion would be to pick your playing partners better.
Choosing an advert and arranging a meet without a cam confirmation, phone confirmation or a social meet first would probably end in a no show.
Accept that it is you that is letting yourself down and stop blaming the site as it doesn't have a verification system.
KENTY, you are right. This country does blame everything else bar themselves. Oh hang on.......you are in favour of the verification system
Dave_Notts

I usually am Davey. wink

You do make me laugh........as in with you and not at you
Dave_Notts
Am sure some do Davey.
:shock:
I do! :lol:
:bolt:
Kenty, Kenty look what she said!!!!!
Dave_Notts

6 Jan 2009

Quote by fem_4_taboo
now a big issue for me is single guys who aint single, how easy is it for them to be verified as being male and single?? piece of piss. it wont mean they are genuinely single.

In that case may I refer you to the latest version of the site AUP
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/main/aup.html

Quote by AUP
Your account shall be terminated immediately .....
Non Acceptable Behaviour.
* Holding an account type that is deceitful to others.

Now I'm not giving any secrets away, it's there in black and white for all to see and read should they choose.
As for verification. If a system is created I will opt out. I will also never verify anybody that I've met because I believe in discretion.
I agree there are benefits and there are pitfalls. My own feeling is that it could be open to abuse.
By opting out, does that make me a dodgy, shady character? I truly don't care. My profile is blank as I don't want to appear on random searches. I have no public photos. But after five years and six months I'm still here, and loving every minute
biggrin