I''m lost.

24 Mar 2009

Help. I came in here a while back for something and after stumbling around blindly for a few weeks, I've entirely forgotten what it is.
I think it is something to do with whipped cream, vegetables and the Swedish Beach Volleyball team. But I may be confused.
What am I doing here again?

24 Mar 2009

You just need a raunchy shag...then you will remember!
wink

24 Mar 2009

A raunchy shag? I've heard about those. They are like vivacious cormorants, only with a slightly different thing on the neck or summat... Look I dunno, I'm no Bill Oddie... biggrin

24 Mar 2009

Bill Oddie... Bill Oddie...
Put your hands all over my body.
:grin: bolt

24 Mar 2009

Seeing the title of this, I'm expecting Lost to come in and say "I'm lost" and then the thread to descend into chaos in a "I'm Spartacus" kinda way.

24 Mar 2009

See.......its all about those small furry animals Res!
Stop wanking man!

24 Mar 2009

Quote by Cubes
Bill Oddie... Bill Oddie...
Put your hands all over my body.
:grin:

Ooooh! Bill Oddie Poetry! Now THAT is a thread we need on here!!!!
(Clears throat)...
"When I am alone and sexual,
I sit here naked on my toddy,
I flick on Spring Watch to see some tits
And pull myself off with Bill Oddie."

24 Mar 2009

Quote by essex34m
Seeing the title of this, I'm expecting Lost to come in and say "I'm lost" and then the thread to descend into chaos in a "I'm Spartacus" kinda way.

Surely, "lost" is a universal state that is applicable to all in some kind of metaphysical sense in the very least, as well as a more pragmatic geographic sense.
He's Lost, I'm Lost, We are Lost, They are Lost. We are all Lost. But maybe we will be found if we find each other? (Awww big Group Hug).
And anyway. I'm Spartacus, and so's my wife.

24 Mar 2009

Quote by Lucyandmike7
See.......its all about those small furry animals Res!
Stop wanking man!

I shall remember your wise words whilst I am secretively stalking a vole tomorrow morning...
Did you know Badgers can count, but only using prime numbers? Scientists proved it the other week for a laugh because they were bored. Still, it's good to know those research grants are not being wasted.
Can you tell I am bored tonight?
biggrin

24 Mar 2009

hang on a minute...
I'm Sparticus!
lp

24 Mar 2009

Quote by Resonance
Bill Oddie... Bill Oddie...
Put your hands all over my body.
:grin:

Ooooh! Bill Oddie Poetry! Now THAT is a thread we need on here!!!!
(Clears throat)...
"When I am alone and sexual,
I sit here naked on my toddy,
I flick on Spring Watch to see some tits
And pull myself off with Bill Oddie."
Each to their own... but I was referring to . The bit I was talking about starts at 2 minutes 15 seconds in, but I'm sure you might like the eduacational piece which leads up to it. :twisted:

24 Mar 2009

Welcome Sparticus, friend of Spartacus, brother of Spartucus and former house trained Gerbil of Spartocus.
But I don't like Sportacus. He is Scandinavian, spends all day with pretend children and is far too energetic and happy to be anything less than an insufferable, vain pilchard in real life.
Lazytown on a swing site? That's just wrong isn't it?
I should have added moral corruption to that list.

24 Mar 2009

You forgot the option:
Bringing some light into the forums, talking bilge, making us all laugh, writing blinding adverts for the likes of me and generally just being you, a pleasure for all of us!
:thumbup:
kiss

24 Mar 2009

No I'm Lost rolleyes

Please can we have an "all of the above" option on the poll? lol

24 Mar 2009

Quote by Cubes
Bill Oddie... Bill Oddie...
Put your hands all over my body.
:grin:

Ooooh! Bill Oddie Poetry! Now THAT is a thread we need on here!!!!
(Clears throat)...
"When I am alone and sexual,
I sit here naked on my toddy,
I flick on Spring Watch to see some tits
And pull myself off with Bill Oddie."
Each to their own... but I was referring to . The bit I was talking about starts at 2 minutes 15 seconds in, but I'm sure you might like the eduacational piece which leads up to it. :twisted:
And you call me weird? Grandmothers in latex while being attacked by the mysteron display team... :shock:
Cubes... Working on here is getting to you I feel... You're turning to the dark side...

24 Mar 2009

I want an advert now....stamps foot!!!!!

24 Mar 2009

Quote by Dirtygirly
You forgot the option:
Bringing some light into the forums, talking bilge, making us all laugh, writing blinding adverts for the likes of me and generally just being you, a pleasure for all of us!
:thumbup:

Awww thanks... Mum. redface

(Â£20 on it's way hun)

24 Mar 2009

Sportacus? have you been watching too much Lazy Town.... cool

24 Mar 2009

Quote by buckingfabe
No I'm Lost Please can we have an "all of the above" option on the poll?

I can only manage that on a Thursday, when I have had my spinach and my wife has unlocked the handcuffs long enough for the circulation to return to my extremities...
I would edit the poll, but to do so would render the poll pointless and all human endeavour entirely futile. I can't live with that on my soul, besides I'd have to stop eating Jaffa cakes to do it.

24 Mar 2009

Quote by Resonance
You forgot the option:
Bringing some light into the forums, talking bilge, making us all laugh, writing blinding adverts for the likes of me and generally just being you, a pleasure for all of us!
:thumbup:

Awww thanks... Mum. redface

(Â£20 on it's way hun)
Mum? :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

24 Mar 2009

Quote by Bonedigger
I want an advert now....stamps foot!!!!!

You want an Ad Mrs B? Consider it done...
Well... I mean consider I WILL do it... I don't mean it will be done NOW, this instant... But it will be done... on Earth as it is in Heav... hang on sorry, got confused there.
I'll do one for you Mrs B. DG and NWC have suffered under the wayward penmanship previously and it is only fair that afflict you in the same way. You never know, if you are really lucky, you may get a response or two from someone who can actually read it!
Don't hold your breath though... ;-)
Besides, you got me anyway, any other fella would pale into insignificance and seem somewhat anticlimactic.

24 Mar 2009

Quote by Resonance
I want an advert now....stamps foot!!!!!

You want an Ad Mrs B? Consider it done...
Well... I mean consider I WILL do it... I don't mean it will be done NOW, this instant... But it will be done... on Earth as it is in Heav... hang on sorry, got confused there.
I'll do one for you Mrs B. DG and NWC have suffered under the wayward penmanship previously and it is only fair that afflict you in the same way. You never know, if you are really lucky, you may get a response or two from someone who can actually read it!
Don't hold your breath though... ;-)
Besides, you got me anyway, any other fella would pale into insignificance and seem somewhat anticlimactic.
well.....yes of course....that goes without saying lol

:lol:

24 Mar 2009

Quote by Misskitty_2008
Sportacus? have you been watching too much Lazy Town....

It ranks up there alongside Playaway (with the almost perfectly named Brian Cant. Oh for the application of an errant 'u') as being the wonkiest kids programme ever. "Run around like feck to save the inhabitants of lazy town!" NO ! Feck em! If they can't be arsed to save themselves, let them eat Pizza and move on...
I don't do twee. Even supposedly educational twee. The merest mention of the Wiggles makes me foam at the mouth and start to chew furniture.

24 Mar 2009

Quote by Dirtygirly
You forgot the option:
Bringing some light into the forums, talking bilge, making us all laugh, writing blinding adverts for the likes of me and generally just being you, a pleasure for all of us!
:thumbup:

Awww thanks... Mum. redface

(Â£20 on it's way hun)
Mum? :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
You mean you were being nice to me even though you don't have to?
Get away with ya woman!
What do you know eh? Has someone told you about me and the Donkey on Blackpool Sea Front? I can assure you I was simply holding an Ice Cream and got confused by evil seagulls attacking me... I thought it was the reigns I'd grabbed hold of... :shock: surprised

ops:

24 Mar 2009

Res, the reason you can't remember is simple. You were transported here by WWWoden, the stuttering God of the internet.
He saw a floundering forum, and sent one of his best viruses down the cable from the Bill Gates of heaven in a Trojan Worm to revitalise it.
That virus was you. In order for it to work, he had to erase your memory and invent a life for you. The knowledge that in reality, you only exist in Binary Code would have traumatised you & rendered you unable to revitalise the forum.
But now you know. There is now a risk that you will dissapear up your own cache. However, if you are prepared to remain a mortal, trapped here forever, you can. Be warned, once you complete this process you will be unable to get back through the Firewall to the Pearly Bill Gates.
In order to remain human, complete the following process:
Reach into your trousers. Located centrally, in the pelvic region, you will find a protrusion. This is called your Google. Grasp your Google firmly with your right hand. You need to crank- or Toggle your Google back & forth repeatedly whilst repeating the phrase "I do believe in Splendid, I do, I do!" aloud.
After a few minutes, you will eject a substance which is Wiki in consistency. At this point, you will call upon the attention of your maker by shouting "Oh, God!" When examined under a microscope, you can see that the substance consists of a random pattern of "0's" and "1's". You should aim the substance through your Windows, which will indicate to your maker that you wish to remain in human form.
You will log onto SH, and find the message "Error 401" This is your confirmation that the process is complete.
After all, to err is human.
wink

24 Mar 2009

Playaway, good lord, that brings back some frightening memories.... as for twee, bagpuss... what more can I say? cool

Quote by Resonance
Sportacus? have you been watching too much Lazy Town.... 8-)

It ranks up there alongside Playaway (with the almost perfectly named Brian Cant. Oh for the application of an errant 'u') as being the wonkiest kids programme ever. "Run around like feck to save the inhabitants of lazy town!" NO ! Feck em! If they can't be arsed to save themselves, let them eat Pizza and move on...
I don't do twee. Even supposedly educational twee. The merest mention of the Wiggles makes me foam at the mouth and start to chew furniture.

24 Mar 2009

Quote by Witchy
Res, the reason you can't remember is simple. You were transported here by WWWoden, the stuttering God of the internet.
He saw a floundering forum, and sent one of his best viruses down the cable from the Bill Gates of heaven in a Trojan Worm to revitalise it.
That virus was you. In order for it to work, he had to erase your memory and invent a life for you. The knowledge that in reality, you only exist in Binary Code would have traumatised you & rendered you unable to revitalise the forum.
But now you know. There is now a risk that you will dissapear up your own cache. However, if you are prepared to remain a mortal, trapped here forever, you can. Be warned, once you complete this process you will be unable to get back through the Firewall to the Pearly Bill Gates.
In order to remain human, complete the following process:
Reach into your trousers. Located centrally, in the pelvic region, you will find a protrusion. This is called your Google. Grasp your Google firmly with your right hand. You need to crank- or Toggle your Google back & forth repeatedly whilst repeating the phrase "I do believe in Splendid, I do, I do!" aloud.
After a few minutes, you will eject a substance which is Wiki in consistency. At this point, you will call upon the attention of your maker by shouting "Oh, God!" When examined under a microscope, you can see that the substance consists of a random pattern of "0's" and "1's". You should aim the substance through your Windows, which will indicate to your maker that you wish to remain in human form.
You will log onto SH, and find the message "Error 401" This is your confirmation that the process is complete.
After all, to err is human.

O Wise Witchy...
I grasped my google in my right hand and ululated my adoration of the Splendid one, but sadly my google seems to have a checksum error. Someone hasn't checked it works properly, as my frantic toggling only saw me end up with a case of wankers cramp.
This minor error saw me perform a full system reset, during which I worshipped at the altar of the Artexed one, this seemed to solve the problem and as I giggled jiggling my google, Wiki was achieved.
However my attempts to remain mortal were foiled when my windows closed down automatically and wouldn't let me try again unless I was in safe mode and wearing a strange plastic sheathing on my google.
I fear I am to remain entirely digital.

24 Mar 2009

Bagpuss...
I did like Professor Yaffle... Though I must admit those mice used to drive me mad..."We will fix it..." Grrrr! Made me long for a large mallet when they came on...
The furry ones are not faring so well this evening are they?

Quote by Misskitty_2008
Playaway, good lord, that brings back some frightening memories.... as for twee, bagpuss... what more can I say?
Sportacus? have you been watching too much Lazy Town.... 8-)

It ranks up there alongside Playaway (with the almost perfectly named Brian Cant. Oh for the application of an errant 'u') as being the wonkiest kids programme ever. "Run around like feck to save the inhabitants of lazy town!" NO ! Feck em! If they can't be arsed to save themselves, let them eat Pizza and move on...
I don't do twee. Even supposedly educational twee. The merest mention of the Wiggles makes me foam at the mouth and start to chew furniture.

24 Mar 2009

Oh dear.
You experienced the "Blue Screen of Sheath"
I am so sorry. :cry:

24 Mar 2009

Quote by Witchy
Oh dear.
You experienced the "Blue Screen of Sheath"
I am so sorry. :cry:

Tis ok... I shall recover, it may be fun... I'm off to Rome to frighten the Pope with it.

What am I doing here?