im new

21 May 2005

Oooo, can I just quote that?!!!

Quote by northwest-cpl
Totally agree with you littlemee.

There, done it.
It's nice to know I'm not talking complete bol***ks sometimes!!!
kiss

Thank you northwest-cpl :kiss:

21 May 2005

Hi Sharrom,
Welcome to this place, newbie too...
do not worry much about the comments, this is a free world, and everybody is free to live his live as they want.
:welcome:

21 May 2005

can i just say something, well i'm going to anyway, i totally agree that what people do is upto them, i have never said this woman or anyone else shouldn't cheat thats totally upto them and also is true to say if u don't like it don't meet them, what i disagree with is swinging is not supposed 2 be about getting a easy shag which is what these people are after, why don't married and cheating use sites for married and cheating people not swingers sites? i just get a bit miffed that people seem to be loosing sight of what swingers are about, and any tom dick and harry after a shag seems to be using them now as swingers sites seem to be labeled easy shag sites now days. :jagsatwork:

21 May 2005

Quote by naughtynymphos1
can i just say something, well i'm going to anyway, i totally agree that what people do is upto them, i have never said this woman or anyone else shouldn't cheat thats totally upto them and also is true to say if u don't like it don't meet them, what i disagree with is swinging is not supposed 2 be about getting a easy shag which is what these people are after, why don't married and cheating use sites for married and cheating people not swingers sites? i just get a bit miffed that people seem to be loosing sight of what swingers are about, and any tom dick and harry after a shag seems to be using them now as swingers sites seem to be labeled easy shag sites now days. :jagsatwork:

From this I'd guess you don't want any single people using this site either?!!!

21 May 2005

single people and people playing away isn't the same thing really is it?
lots of couples like to meet single guys for 3sums and gang bang, and single men play a big part in the club scene, and indeed single fems are always welcome by just about everyone.

21 May 2005

Quote by naughtynymphos1
what i disagree with is swinging is not supposed 2 be about getting a easy shag which is what these people are after............and any tom dick and harry after a shag seems to be using them now as swingers sites seem to be labeled easy shag sites now days.

Aren't some single people after an easy shag?
If they are they shouldn't be using swinging sites seems to be your theory.
Just because swinging couples like these singles being around doesn't defend your theory that the single is after an easy shag.

21 May 2005

just enjoy yourself

21 May 2005

just enjoy yourself wink

21 May 2005

I'm going to have to come in support of SexySteph and Alison to give my tuppnce worth and ask everyone with an opinion " While it is admirable that Sharon has posted here with forthright honesty - isn't the hypocrisy noticible that she can be honest with total strangers, yet has to deceive the one person closest to her - even if it is at the cost of a LTR? "

Quote by anothersharron
hi all im sharron (34) im bi and love sex i do have a partner but hes not in to sex so im here alone without his concent i hope i dont upset anyone on here as im going behind my partners back. im looking for single males or couples for no string fun im from north nottinghamshire area

Personally, my own scruples would not allow me to be a willing party to this - and I hope Sharon takes this opportunity to change her mind - either about the disclosure or the commiting of adultry.

21 May 2005

Quote by Sexysteph
Serious question to any of the guys out there. Imagine you are Sharron's partner. You are not giving her enough sex so she decides to join a swingers site and meet different guys for SEX. Would you be
(a) gutted as she emasculates you by getting satisfied elsewhere
(b) hurt as fuck that she is making a laughing stock of you by going behind your back to screw these other guys and people will notice
(c) Angry that you are being used as a security blanket after all she is being honest with everyone else but not with you.
(d) Angry at the guys she meets (possible retribution?)
(e) Feel like wringing her neck
So examine your feelings well guys.

I think you've forgotten (f) which could be something like
'do something about it before she has to go elsewhere'
which may be to go your separate ways, compromise on what she wants & what you can give her or maybe let her go and get what she needs.
If Sharron has been banging her head against a brick wall for years and still this situation continues then why should she not do what she thinks is best?
Obviously it would be nice if everyone was happy & everyone knew what eveyone else was doing but sometimes relationships aren't like that and some individuals like to exert control over others in a variety of different ways. That control is fought against in an equally diverse amount of ways.
I just don't think people should be judging others from a 4 or 5 line intro.

21 May 2005

All I have to say is, and this is not directed to anyone, sometimes it is much easier to be what you want to be with a stranger than to actually bare your soul to those who you live your life with. Sometimes in relationships, people get really bad at connecting emotionally - which is understandable I suppose when life isn't all about fucking, but also has to involve mundane things like doing the grocery at Waitrose on a busy saturday and washing your partner's manky socks - it sort of takes the magic away, doesn't it? Now, strangers, with them you can recreate yourself anew and they will only know parts of you that you let them know - that way they can never hurt you.

21 May 2005

Quote by Sexysteph
Sharron, if she has had this happening for so long has always had the option to end the relationship so why hasn't she if it is that unfulfilling?

Perhaps because there is more to her life & relationship than just sex!
In all other aspects things may be just perfect.
Relationships never are quite as cut & dried as you seem to portray Steph, unfortunately.

Quote by Sexysteph
How would you feel if your partner was cheating on you and you found out.
Would you really just think to yourself "ohhh its my fault I should have shagged her more"? Somehow I do not think so.

Once again you are judging people without knowing them.
What is my situation? Why are my wife & I separated at the moment?
What self analysis am I going through to look at myself & try to make the marriage work?
What communication are we having to resolve our issues?
She wasn't cheating on me but the scenario of my life is almost how you describe and 'Yes', I have thought "Ohhh it's my fault" I should have done something more (but not shagging in our case).
All I've asked is that people are less judgemental of others and expect everyone to lead their lives as they do. People seem to have jumped on Sharron after her intro & without knowing the full details. For all I know she might be a right devious, horrible, cheating cow but no one knows that yet so why not give her time in the Cafe, get to know her & then start criticising her life choices when we know why she has made them.
Shock, horror she might even turn out to be a lovely lady just doing the best she can!!!

21 May 2005

Quote by Sexysteph

I applaud new steph's honesty on here and am sad that she doesn't feel able to be honest with her partner.

I was not gonna come back on this thread but feel I have to now...
h256 what partner? Do you know sommut about me that I don't? confused

I am a SINGLE FEMbabes. I'm still looking for that special guy who can put up with all the crap I have in my life lol

but until then I will continue to swing within the SWINGING COMMUNITY. Yes I do play with hubbys but with their WIVE's permission. Single Guys = Yummy.

Ooops redface

Sorry steph, this was a mistake - for steph please read sharron! I wasn't meaning to refer too you. Doh!
Mark x
PS I gave you some hugs as pennance!
PPS Is "somewhere" anywhere near London? wink

:rose:

21 May 2005

i bloody hope single men can be swingers cause i'm packing up now if they can't :giggle:
think the terms swingles isn't it? lol

21 May 2005

This is a wind-up right?
Too clever to be a bloke, though.
This has to be done by a woman, pretending to be a bloke, pretending to be a woman.
rolleyes

21 May 2005

Quote by Vix
This is a wind-up right?
Too clever to be a bloke, though.
This has to be done by a woman, pretending to be a bloke, pretending to be a woman.

ermmm, come again, Vix? confused

21 May 2005

Quote by Maia
ermmm, come again, Vix?

She can never get asked that question enough !

21 May 2005

Quote by Silk and Big G

ermmm, come again, Vix?

She can never get asked that question enough !
We've never met, have we?
Who you been talking to, then?

21 May 2005

Quote by Happy Cats
Ash, stick to glory holes, dont try to get all intellectual!

Sharron, you look lovely in red. But your relationship needs work.
Good luck xxxx

21 May 2005

Quote by naughtynymphos1
what i disagree with is swinging is not supposed 2 be about getting a easy shag which is what these people are after, why don't married and cheating use sites for married and cheating people not swingers sites? i just get a bit miffed that people seem to be loosing sight of what swingers are about, and any tom dick and harry after a shag seems to be using them now as swingers sites seem to be labeled easy shag sites now days. :jagsatwork:

Surely there aren't any rules about swinging. Why isn't swinging about an easy shag? That's what we are in it for. We have made many, many very good friends from the scene but we haven't lost sight of the fact that we are swinging for sex. We never interrogate people we play with about their marital status ... we don't want to know.
Swinging sites are surely for people who swing, and that is not defined by marital status. Someone may cheat on a partner while they are swinging, but they are swinging none the less. In the end, live and let live.

21 May 2005

Quote by Sexysteph
LittleMee you miss the point yet again
Single guys/fems can like to have multiple partners - they are NOT hurting anyone and therefore not cheating on anyone. They have MADE NO COMMITMENT to another . Therefore if they are consenting then they are classed as swingers.
Many swingers actually take time to get to know each other before dropping their pants and shagging - there is a social side to swinging as well as the shagging. Thats where Naughtynymphos was coming from - I believe. Yes there are couples on here that go to Swinging clubs where they sometimes play with single guys not necessarily in the same room BUT they do it with CONSENT of the respective Partners. That is because THEY are SWINGERS (Notice a theme here about consent)
There are a lot of newer members on here that seem to believe that the site is a quick shag site - Many a time they have had regular members post helpful links to assist them to settle down and see the site for the community it has become. I still have many pms from newbies who I have posted to even tho they are hundreds of miles from me. Some of them I have actually met at different gatherings - some of them I call friends.
In Sharron's situation she was brave enough to say to a bunch of strangers that she was attached and that she was on the site without his consent and that he would be Mad if he found out. I still maintain that he WILL find out - what happens then?
I was not being judgemental of anyone just asking people to put themselves in the position of Sharrons partner and how he might be feeling when he does find out. I am sorry that you took the hypothetical to mean it was about YOU it was not. It was purely a hypothetical to make one think based on a real time revelation.
h256 I guessed that babes and about 98 miles north of London along the M1
Steph :wink:

Steph, I don't think I am missing the point and I think it's pretty condescending of you to say that.
Some singles might be just looking for a quick shag.
Some may find it some may not.
It doesn't mean all are and no-one should be castigated.
Likewise our reasons for doing things.
I was just pointing out Sharron might have her reasons but she is being criticised before they are known.
Finally, I didn't take your hypothetical to mean me, I was merely using myself as an example to point out the inadequacies in your hypothetical case.
Sometimes I think I'm not the only one that keeps missing the point but I wouldn't accuse people of that because there are a multiplicity of views and understanding others is what it is about. Whether you agree with them or not.

21 May 2005

well everybody else has had their say so its my turn!!!! biggrin

right here goes:
1- if your not happy why are you with him?
2- if you break trust in a relationship, for your benefit i think its selfish, and i think its wrong
however may i add - people are intitiled to make mistakes i.e. a drunken kiss !!!! ONCE!!
3- i think its wrong that people go out of their way to seek sex on the side whilst in a relationship
4- if you feel sexually deprived then get a toy till you do get it on!!!!!!
5- most people go through sexual fluctuations - if you went off sex (which i know a few women do ie. when going through the change etc..)and he went behind your back how would that make you feel.???
and i totally agree that this is a swinging site!!! not a "married and flirting" site.
i think its good that your honest and fair play for being up front but if you can be up front with us people u have never met before(when i say met i mean spoken to) then surely you can to your fella??
lou xxxx
:shock:

22 May 2005

i am happy with my relasionship i do love him more than the world its self we have a desabled boy together we are very happy the thing is he only likes sex once in a blue moon the other times he wanks on the computer i asked he why vhe dose this and he says its what he likes ok. we talk and talk about this we even went to chams a few times but this wasent for him either iv asked him if i can swing and for him to watch but he dont like that idea either iv tryed everything with him but nothing seems to work for him and all the time hes wanking im missing out i dont think thats fair, i dont want to break up with my partner and from me getting sex on here iv stop moaning at him for sex and the arguments have stopped he says hes addicted to wanking i dont understand this at all. liike i said we have talked till im blue in the face hes not happy if i get sex some where else but its ok for him to wank. anyway i didnt really want to go in to all this about my life but seem iv had no chose now you no why im here if iv upset people im sorry if you dont want to swing with me thats fine 2 everyone has there own rules in swinging and everyone is here for different resons but as i see it were all here for the sex.
i dont want to fall out with any of you i wanted to be friends with you all
thank you for your time of telling me what you think
i hope we all can be friends
PS sorry about the spelling

22 May 2005

Quote by Vix
This is a wind-up right?
Too clever to be a bloke, though.
This has to be done by a woman, pretending to be a bloke, pretending to be a woman.

My thoughts excactly, thats why, though tempted, i have not contributed to this thread.

22 May 2005

Quote by anothersharron
the thing is he only likes sex once in a blue moon the other times he wanks on the computer i asked he why vhe dose this and he says its what he likes ok. we talk and talk about this we even went to chams a few times but this wasent for him either iv asked him if i can swing and for him to watch but he dont like that idea either iv tryed everything with him but nothing seems to work for him and all the time hes wanking im missing out i dont think thats fair, i dont want to break up with my partner and from me getting sex on here iv stop moaning at him for sex and the arguments have stopped he says hes addicted to wanking i dont understand this at all.

Arrgghh I lived with someone like that once. I feel for you. Not going to say much more - i think we are all very passionate people on here and everyone has their own opinions and you have been respectful of other people's opinions and hopefully you will find that others have been of yours - it is in fact your life and your body - ultimately you have the final say on what is best.
Bythe way, LOVE the babydoll negligee... where did you get it?
:P

22 May 2005

Quote by katie_sw_uk
This is a wind-up right?
Too clever to be a bloke, though.
This has to be done by a woman, pretending to be a bloke, pretending to be a woman.

My thoughts excactly, thats why, though tempted, i have not contributed to this thread.
Go on. Live dangerously. Tke the chance of being wound up. You never know you might like it and then ... wink

Mark xx

22 May 2005

I'm sad that there is so much judgement going on in this thread and hope that sharron isn't feeling got at.
Sharron you've said you didn't want to go into as much as you have so make sure you look after yourself on here. You don't have to justify what you are doing unless you want to. There is a lot of disapproval on this thread and people are entitled to have their opinions, but I think bob dylan put it nicely "withhold your judgement for yourself". (That's from a great track by the way - the harmonica is just lush wink

Can anyone name it??? :P ).
Personally I think (judgement coming here - oops) that Sharron has behaved very respectfully and sensitively in this discussion.
On what you have just shared, I'd like to say that you are in a very difficult position. Clearly your partner is aware of the issue and how his behaviour is affecting you. It seems that he expects you to get by without sex, which is expecting a hell of a lot, and suggests to me that there are underlying difficulties for him that you are not aware of, and that he is probably not aware of or is unwilling to share with you.
Perhaps you fear that if you are honest with him you will lose your relationship with him and the father of your child. This is a very difficult situation which only you can take responsibility for, so I hope people realise this and will stop advising you on what to do. I wonder if counselling would help you both to unpick this without it being too risky. Have you discussed that?
Anyway, good luck on here and in life.
Mark xx

22 May 2005

no wind up im for real

22 May 2005

our golden rule ,, do what you want with who ever you want but cause no harm to anyone , no matter who they are , adultry causes harm,,,,,,, in our humble opinion !!! Welcome to s/h by the way biggrin

22 May 2005

well all i can say is if her hubbies having a wank on the computer hes obviously not totally gone off sex and still has urges, makes u wonder if maybe hes on here looking for a bit on the side as well :giggle:
hey u never know u could end up meeting each other in a smokey pub one night wink