im new

22 May 2005

Quote by foxylady 123
:D :D :D

Over here we call that gloating, not a particularly endearing characteristic, in my opinion!!
Not gloating at all, just glad that Sharon acknowledged the people who have supported her - but of course, you're very welcome to your opinion.

22 May 2005

If thats not gloating, its a damned good impersination!!

22 May 2005

Quote by foxylady 123
If thats not gloating, its a damned good impersination!!

Whatever. Like I said, you're entitled to your opinion.
Impersonation, by the way

22 May 2005

Quote by freckledbird
If thats not gloating, its a damned good impersination!!

Whatever. Like I said, you're entitled to your opinion.
Impersonation, by the way
Pedantry is not particularly endearing either but it's good to see that teachers are prepared to be on duty in their own time.

22 May 2005

Quote by northwest-cpl
If thats not gloating, its a damned good impersination!!

Whatever. Like I said, you're entitled to your opinion.
Impersonation, by the way
Pedantry is not particularly endearing either but it's good to see that teachers are prepared to be on duty in their own time.
You took your time. rolleyes

22 May 2005

Quote by freckledbird
You took your time.

Better late than never. wink

22 May 2005

Quote by northwest-cpl

You took your time.

Better late than never. wink

Oh I dunno confused

I think I could make an exception, just for you.

22 May 2005

Last week it was someone deemed too young to swing (http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/43596.html). This week, itâ€™s someoneâ€™s personal circumstances that are the problem.
I always thought that some core elements of swinging were the ideas of being open- minded and also non-judgmental. These are always more regularly stated in swinging definitions than personal circumstances.
So many times on these forums this just doesnâ€™t happen. Itâ€™s one of the most judgmental forums I know, and some of the people are just not very nice when it comes to treatment of (in particular) new members.
If you donâ€™t like what somebody is doing or is searching for then just leave alone and let them get on with it, with no judging. It may not agree with your beliefs but their life is very much their own business.
In this particular instance, sheâ€™s gone far further than she ever has to in openly stating her circumstances (something sheâ€™ll no doubt think twice about in future) and then even providing a link (I had no problems viewing if you play about with it just a little) to what are clearly her personal pictures (i.e. not swinging related) just to try and prove her story which was being questioned. Thereâ€™s absolutely never any justification for anybody, as a new member, to ever feel pressured into giving out personal things just to be welcomed onto the site and the fact it has happened pains me.
Every time I read through some of the adverts (or forum adverts) on the site, I come across something I donâ€™t necessarily really agree with but I just move on and live and let live.
A big problem of mine is the guys who post about wanting to get their wives into swinging and especially the ones who literally want to arrange a meet with somebody for them to chat up the wife who will then suddenly get the taste for swinging and everything will be great etc. Itâ€™s totally wrong and should never happen but Iâ€™ve never gone to the trouble of writing to them to say what I think. Each of their lives probably has a different story to tell and who am I to pass comment on it? It would only be my opinion after all!

22 May 2005

Brad I think people are always going to express their opinions, particularly when a post leaves itself open to comment. It's a forum, people give opinions. We may not agree with everyone but we are all entitled to our own opinions.
I agree, she was very honest in her post, in that she's here with the intention of cheating. That doesn't mean everyone has to like it though. She has also had some positive feedback from those people for whom cheating/not cheating is not an issue.
We wouldn't consider playing with someone who cheats because of the potential comebacks (for us and the person being cheated on), but there are many people on here who will. I don't think that's being judgemental, it's expressing a preference for whom we'd play with.

22 May 2005

Wow! A newbie and 105 replies! In the short time that I have been on this site I have noticed that threads covering "cheating" always, without exception and reliably, involve a heated discussion.
I am not convinced that 'another sharron' in not a wind-up from (probably) an existing member or a deliberate reaction-tester but, if not, then she has been open and honest - maybe too open and honest in an open forum - to which a potential swinger can use to make a decision.
Without the full facts, the decision to tell a partner may have many other ramifications that we can ony guess at. A mis-match in sexual appetite is a bad thing; so is, say, breaking up an otherwise stable partnership where, maybe, kids are involved.
So, welcome anothersharron but I suggest that you (if real - if not let us all know!) you have a look through some recent threads, learn something about regular posters from their comments and pm those for whom you feel a connection - and show your personal situation then, in confidence.
Also note that SH is an open community that even non-members can read; for the unwary this could carry significant risks. For the sensible and cautious, significant pleasure!

22 May 2005

Quote by northwest-cpl
If thats not gloating, its a damned good impersination!!

Whatever. Like I said, you're entitled to your opinion.
Impersonation, by the way
Pedantry is not particularly endearing either but it's good to see that teachers are prepared to be on duty in their own time.
:lol2: :thumbup:
freckle, if people seem to be constantly misunderstanding you when you comment in these kinds of threads, maybe it's cos the language you use gives that impression, whatever your intent. as a teacher i know you're more than well aware that the written word in itself is open to a number of interpretations depending on context. no surprise people take some of your comments personally, cos i read them as personal myself, and they don't even concern me?

I think when this has run its course I for one would love to know what ALL members think about this in some sort of poll ??? i.e Should we condone this or should we if it were to be prooved 100% that they were married and cheating, encourage them to look elsewhere ?

you're kidding? rolleyes

who is anyone to judge anyone else? if you don't like swinging with married "cheaters" the simple solution is not to swing with them? what's the problem? doesn't affect you does it, and you don't have to deal with the potential fall out and live with the consequences of their choices? they're neither asking for your attention or your approval, are they? confused

neil x x x ;)

22 May 2005

Quote by Mac69
I am not convinced that 'another sharron' in not a wind-up from (probably) an existing member or a deliberate reaction-tester

Ooooh... that's what I said! :P

Quote by Vix
This is a wind-up right?
Too clever to be a bloke, though.
This has to be done by a woman, pretending to be a bloke, pretending to be a woman.

22 May 2005

Quote by BiFemHants
As far as I can see most people think that married and cheating, male or female, is not and should not be connected in any way with swinging.
Like it has been pointed out on more than one occasions that "swingers" are not often welcome on their sites, so why welcome them on swinging sites ?
Like I have said before and will say again if this had been a man ( and I still have my doupts) he would have been blown away within a few minites let alone 4 pages.
Strange don't you think that its mostly the "guys" that are condoning this ( married methinks)
I think when this has run its course I for one would love to know what ALL members think about this in some sort of poll ??? i.e Should we condone this or should we if it were to be prooved 100% that they were married and cheating, encourage them to look elsewhere ?

Now that's more like it - wondered when the SH witchfinder general would show up :twisted:
Hang em high :shock:

22 May 2005

Quote by Vix
I am not convinced that 'another sharron' in not a wind-up from (probably) an existing member or a deliberate reaction-tester

Ooooh... that's what I said! :P

Quote by Vix
This is a wind-up right?
Too clever to be a bloke, though.
This has to be done by a woman, pretending to be a bloke, pretending to be a woman.

occurred to me too vix, in which case, the usual suspects walked right into that one didn't they? :roll: ;)
*sighs*
neil x x x ;)

22 May 2005

Quote by Vix
I am not convinced that 'another sharron' in not a wind-up from (probably) an existing member or a deliberate reaction-tester

Ooooh... that's what I said! :P

Quote by Vix
This is a wind-up right?
Too clever to be a bloke, though.
This has to be done by a woman, pretending to be a bloke, pretending to be a woman.

Hi Vix - I did see your comments and came to the same conclusion. Or was it concussion? (I can't remember)
Maybe if it is a wind-up the guilty person can reveal themselves? (Especially if female but, hey, who cares!)

23 May 2005

Well good to see old fashioned Brit prudery still exists even on a sex site, come on fellow countrymen and women loosen up, give Sharron a break here, please. And why are genitals banned from Avatars? Is Mary Whitehouse and her cohorts members or what??? Sharron do your thing, hon and don't let the bullies win.

23 May 2005

Firstly i do not consider voicing an opinion being a bully, sorry forgive me but i thought thats what the cafe was for, for voicing an opinion on whats been posted, she put the add up so we are just doing what this forum is for and replying to her, dear me some people eh if u don't agree your being a bully ffs.
Secondly i think theres a difference in being a prud and not wanting to take part in something that could totally shatter someones life, if your mrs was shagging behind ur back and u find out would u say to her..... good 4 you love at least your not a prud? or would u be upset? think about it and then call us pruds for wanting to do right by people wink

At the end of the day not everyone agrees with everything but we all have the rights to say what we think, some people may think swinging is wrong to watch your wife with another man is wrong, but thats what freedon of speach is, i don't agree with what shes doing but have never said i think she shouldn't. thats upto her, same as i wont stop swinging just cause my mum nearly had a nervous break down when she found out what i did lol, i don't think anyones being prudish or being a bully we are just using this forum for what its intended for!!

23 May 2005

Quote by kievindot
And why are genitals banned from Avatars?

I think it's something like this:
1: Avatars can be seen by anyone who happens upon the site, whether registered or not. Not everyone wants to see kebab and sausage the min they click on a link.
2: That's the rules - live with it.
3: Er....
4: That's it.

23 May 2005

Quote by freckledbird
I don't think that's being judgemental, it's expressing a preference for whom we'd play with.

There was talk of having a poll to get general opinion!!!! What would be the point of that unless it was to judge (through general opinion) the actions of somebody?
You may argue that a poll would just see whether people thought it was wrong or not but that is judging at the end of the day. Judging that somebody is doing something deemed as wrong by a majority of people
If I went on a single bi males advert thread and started expressing my preference that I didn't wish to play with a bi man, what do you think would happen? Questions would be asked of why I was even there and I'd probably get some abuse. I wouldn't even bother

23 May 2005

Quote by anothersharron
hi all im sharron (34) im bi and love sex i do have a partner but hes not in to sex so im here alone without his concent i hope i dont upset anyone on here as im going behind my partners back. im looking for single males or couples for no string fun im from north nottinghamshire area

Now lets go right bacvk to the begining, where in sharons first post does she say she is asking for anyones opinion?
She merely seeks to introduce herself!!
So why are so many, so egar to tell her what they think? Because this is a swingers site does that give us a right to tell others our opinions about their personal cirumstances?
In real life I cant abide smoking, however if im introduced to someone who smokes I dont immediatley launch an attack on their vile habbit. Only if they light up in my vacinity will i politely ask them to move their poision out of my air space. Why cant people behave like that on here? Saying hi to someone dosnt necessarily mean you condon what they are doing, but if they arent hurting you why subject them to your opinions?
Bullying is abhorant , regardless of its cyber or real life and only serves to make those that are doing it look small minded and repulsive.
As for the debate about Sharon being real or someones creation, who cares? The result is the same.
Please not this post is not ddirected at any one person in particular

23 May 2005

Quote by anothersharron
hi all im sharron (34) im bi and love sex i do have a partner but hes not in to sex so im here alone without his concent i hope i dont upset anyone on here as im going behind my partners back. im looking for single males or couples for no string fun im from north nottinghamshire area

Hi Sharron,
Welcome to S.H. we all do things that in the eyes of some people is wrong, we make our own decisions and if anything goes pear shaped, then we have to take the consequences ( if there are any. ) Welcome and good luck. 69position

23 May 2005

I have to say I am utterly appalled by the attitudes expressed by some people here. The judgemental nature of so many posters on this thread is almost enough to make me wish I had never found SH but the fact that I have seen how supportive other people on this forum can be makes me less eager to run away screaming. Where, on this site or anywhere else for that matter (or is there an 'Official Swingers Handbook' that I have somehow missed?), does it lay out the rules of what is and what is not swinging? Who gives anyone the authority to state whether cheating is either acceptable or even if it is swinging or not? What authority does anyone have to take someone to task over what they state in their introduction? As foxylady points out there are many people with many different habits or preferences that many of us here would not be interested in so why do certain people feel it is necessary to give one poor woman (and I don't agree with the conspiracy theories flying around) a hard time about her private decisions? The only acceptable comment from anybody should have been 'Hello and welcome!'!! mad

There is a time and place to debate the ethics of cheating (in fact there was a thread on that very subject last week) but not in someone's introduction unless they had asked for people's opinions. Ok, Sharron made a mistake and should have posted in the LMU section but that doesn't give anyone licence to offer their opinion of her or her actions. Some people need to take a long hard look at themselves! :x
That off my chest all I would like to add is:
"Hello Sharron! Welcome to SH. I hope you enjoy your stay and are not put off by the negativity already expressed. Some of us are actually nice people, believe it or not. I hope you find the fun you are looking for and wish you well."
H

23 May 2005

god this is gonna run and run
wheres our mate FABIO threakiller ?
yes ..avatars need to be decent ( ish ) its part of the seen face of the site and therefore vix is spot on

23 May 2005

Quote by donsidelovers
I have to say I am utterly appalled by the attitudes expressed by some people here. The judgemental nature of so many posters on this thread is almost enough to make me wish I had never found SH but the fact that I have seen how supportive other people on this forum can be makes me less eager to run away screaming. Where, on this site or anywhere else for that matter (or is there an 'Official Swingers Handbook' that I have somehow missed?), does it lay out the rules of what is and what is not swinging? Who gives anyone the authority to state whether cheating is either acceptable or even if it is swinging or not? What authority does anyone have to take someone to task over what they state in their introduction? As foxylady points out there are many people with many different habits or preferences that many of us here would not be interested in so why do certain people feel it is necessary to give one poor woman (and I don't agree with the conspiracy theories flying around) a hard time about her private decisions? The only acceptable comment from anybody should have been 'Hello and welcome!'!!
There is a time and place to debate the ethics of cheating (in fact there was a thread on that very subject last week) but not in someone's introduction unless they had asked for people's opinions. Ok, Sharron made a mistake and should have posted in the LMU section but that doesn't give anyone licence to offer their opinion of her or her actions. Some people need to take a long hard look at themselves! :x
That off my chest all I would like to add is:
"Hello Sharron! Welcome to SH. I hope you enjoy your stay and are not put off by the negativity already expressed. Some of us are actually nice people, believe it or not. I hope you find the fun you are looking for and wish you well."
H

Couldn't have put it better myself.
There are those who have expressed their opinions here so forcefully that the only inference that can be taken is that any other view is wrong. It is therefore unreasonable to then claim that you are merely expressing your opinion.
Anothersharron expressed her intention from the outset. There is some merit in that but it was also risky (she is new FFS). It does sound as though she is in some turmoil and I think some compassion might have been a more mature response. Credit to those that did show some , I say.

23 May 2005

:giveup: :giveup: :giveup: :giveup: :giveup: :giveup: :giveup: :giveup: :giveup: :giveup:

23 May 2005

Quote by anothersharron
:giveup: :giveup: :giveup: :giveup: :giveup: :giveup: :giveup: :giveup: :giveup: :giveup:

Ah well , ive lost that one.................................................................................i h ad mmoney on you never coming back here!!! sad

:( :( :(
Cheers Sharon!!

23 May 2005

Way to many posts for me to read em all , so havent really got an opinion on it , just felt i couldnt let such a bitter controversial thread go by without being a part of it all .
Peace

23 May 2005

hahahaha sorry if i new you had money on me i could of stayed away and we could of shared the money
kiss

23 May 2005

Quote by anothersharron
hahahaha sorry if i new you had money on me i could of stayed away and we could of shared the money

What makes you think the bet was for money?

23 May 2005

sorry if you bet for something else im sure the people involved will still pay you
smackbottom

:rose: :angel: