Immutable Truisms of Life.
Strange but valid observations – see how many of them are true for you.
Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
Triangular sandwiches always taste better than square ones.
If you rummage in an overgrown garden you will always find a ball.
Reading when drunk is horrible.
The most embarrassing thing you can do as a schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.
Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
Everyone remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
Old ladies eat more than you think.
You can’t respect a man who carries a dog.
No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
People who don’t drive slam car doors too hard.
The most painful household incident is accidentally standing on an upturned plug while barefoot.
In every bag of chips there is a bad chip.
You’ve turned into your dad when you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal your nose.
You’re never quite sure whether it’s okay to eat green crisps.
Mike.
lol brilliant Mike! So many in there that are true. Can't say I remember a dog running into our school, but I winced in pain at the memory of standing on an upturned plug YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAWWWWWCH!!!!!
Glad you like them folks. I've had this list for a couple of years, and was reminded of them today when someone at the next table to me in Morrison's cafe did the "stealing your nose" trick on their young grandson.
Mike.
I have three from working at the Ministry of Agriculture (like DEFRA):
Sheep are not as stupid as you think.
Politicians are as stupid as you think
Never stand behind a cow when it coughs
One last Immutable Truism from me:
"An immutable Truism is only immutable and true until such time as it is put down in writing. At that point, it becomes a Sods Law, which states that from henceforth all attempts by the party of the first part to invoke said Immutable Truism will result in actions totally opposite of the aforementioned Immutable Truism. Please note that if the party of the first part attempts to invoke the Sods Law Immutable Truism in order to cancel the Sods Law effect upon their own Immutable Truism they shall immediately disappear up their own arsehole. This also being an Immutable Truism, if the Sods Law has been invoked, then their arsehole shall disappear and they will be full of shit until a reciprocating Sods Law Immutable Truism can be invoked, at which time their arsehole will reappear and they will disappear up it."
lhk
Kat
:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
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