Quote by DeeCee
is there an emoticon for throwin up?????????
I tell ya it hurt like hell but on the plus side before posting PK asked for a quick inspection and I got an ickle kiss better :rascal: albeit 6 years after the incident
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Injured in the line of duty
Sex God
Mr FB sustained some bruising on the end of his tail this morning when I gave him a blow job in the conservatory. 
Sex God
Quote by LondonPlaything
conservatory?
Yep, on the back of the house - blinds were closed though
Sex God
Quote by Medic_1
PTV (post traumatic vulva) is not uncommon in cases like this.
Treatment and prevention is simple :-
PEOPLE make sure you cut your fingernails first.
(that was a SH Health message from the Treatment Room of SH Towers)
Absolutely ...
Saw something I though was weird the other day - couple on the train, noticed the male had long pointy fingernails on one hand - the other hand was taimmed nice and neat ... well, to me that was odd ...
Sex God
Quote by jaymar
Bloody 'ell Polo.. last week your bruised neck, this week yer bruised f@*ny!!
Erm, it wasn't last week - it's an old thread!
A few accidents here to..
I was on top of Shaz just the normal missionary position, when i came i headbutted Shaz in the nose
We was having a fag once after sex and the end fell of mine straight on to Sharons nipple.. and it stuck!
Once in fun i went to rip a pair of cheap thongs ( brought for this purpose ) of with my teeth, only the thin bit slid between 2 of my teeth forcing them apart and cutting my gum.. dam thing took nearly 3 hours to stop bleeding.
We was having sex on the stairs near the top landing.. again missionary and i lost my foot hold and slipped down a couple a few steps.. on my front, Nude! :shock:
Sex can be real dangerous and should come with a health warning!
Tony
I was on top of Shaz just the normal missionary position, when i came i headbutted Shaz in the nose
We was having a fag once after sex and the end fell of mine straight on to Sharons nipple.. and it stuck!
Once in fun i went to rip a pair of cheap thongs ( brought for this purpose ) of with my teeth, only the thin bit slid between 2 of my teeth forcing them apart and cutting my gum.. dam thing took nearly 3 hours to stop bleeding.
We was having sex on the stairs near the top landing.. again missionary and i lost my foot hold and slipped down a couple a few steps.. on my front, Nude! :shock:
Sex can be real dangerous and should come with a health warning!
Tony
Quote by PoloLady
Injured in the line of duty
Last night I suffered an injury in the line of duty. Whilst deep in the midst of foreplay, under heavy finger fire, a stray live finger ricocheted along the vulva and I suffered a nail induced flesh-wound. Not being one to abandon my post, I continued valiantly in the thick of things.
Later, upon reaching the make-shift M.A.S.H. tent in my bathroom, a small, thin sliver of skin was removed without the need for anaesthetic or pain relief. Thinking the wound was minor and that I would be fit to return to duty today, I awoke ready to get back to the action. I was horrified to feel the sting of a thousand bees, the burning of a hundred blow-touches and the throbbing of something very, very, very throbby when I went for a pee this morning. :shock: I guess I will be out of action for a couple of days
Whilst I do not believe this particular injury deserves a medal – I am sure there are some brave swinging-soldiers out there who have been seriously injured in the line of duty. Maybe there should be a virtual SH medal for those who have suffered in the name of sex?
If you have a tale of bravery and suffering – tell it here!
After I have finished laughing at your suffering, the most tragic/horrifying tales of injury will be entered into a poll to determine who deserves the 'Swinging Heaven Medal of Honour' for injury suffered in the course of duty.
Well I remember if ever injured I found the oldest remedy always worked best, a quick and tender kiss on the damaged part always makes it better... it does, it does!!
Quote by Kiss
Saw something I though was weird the other day - couple on the train, noticed the male had long pointy fingernails on one hand - the other hand was taimmed nice and neat ... well, to me that was odd ...
Sounds to me like he plays classical guitar.
thats what I was thinking.... the perv!
Quote by mdr2000
Injured in the line of duty
Last night I suffered an injury in the line of duty. Whilst deep in the midst of foreplay, under heavy finger fire, a stray live finger ricocheted along the vulva and I suffered a nail induced flesh-wound. Not being one to abandon my post, I continued valiantly in the thick of things.
Later, upon reaching the make-shift M.A.S.H. tent in my bathroom, a small, thin sliver of skin was removed without the need for anaesthetic or pain relief. Thinking the wound was minor and that I would be fit to return to duty today, I awoke ready to get back to the action. I was horrified to feel the sting of a thousand bees, the burning of a hundred blow-touches and the throbbing of something very, very, very throbby when I went for a pee this morning. :shock: I guess I will be out of action for a couple of days
Whilst I do not believe this particular injury deserves a medal – I am sure there are some brave swinging-soldiers out there who have been seriously injured in the line of duty. Maybe there should be a virtual SH medal for those who have suffered in the name of sex?
If you have a tale of bravery and suffering – tell it here!
After I have finished laughing at your suffering, the most tragic/horrifying tales of injury will be entered into a poll to determine who deserves the 'Swinging Heaven Medal of Honour' for injury suffered in the course of duty.
Well I remember if ever injured I found the oldest remedy always worked best, a quick and tender kiss on the damaged part always makes it better... it does, it does!!
just give us a shout next time your injured mdr :thumbup: :thumbup: always willing to dole out a healing
or two 
assionkiss: :passionkiss: or more :giggle: :giggle: :giggle: Quote by mdr2000
Injured in the line of duty
Last night I suffered an injury in the line of duty. Whilst deep in the midst of foreplay, under heavy finger fire, a stray live finger ricocheted along the vulva and I suffered a nail induced flesh-wound. Not being one to abandon my post, I continued valiantly in the thick of things.
Later, upon reaching the make-shift M.A.S.H. tent in my bathroom, a small, thin sliver of skin was removed without the need for anaesthetic or pain relief. Thinking the wound was minor and that I would be fit to return to duty today, I awoke ready to get back to the action. I was horrified to feel the sting of a thousand bees, the burning of a hundred blow-touches and the throbbing of something very, very, very throbby when I went for a pee this morning. :shock: I guess I will be out of action for a couple of days
Whilst I do not believe this particular injury deserves a medal – I am sure there are some brave swinging-soldiers out there who have been seriously injured in the line of duty. Maybe there should be a virtual SH medal for those who have suffered in the name of sex?
If you have a tale of bravery and suffering – tell it here!
After I have finished laughing at your suffering, the most tragic/horrifying tales of injury will be entered into a poll to determine who deserves the 'Swinging Heaven Medal of Honour' for injury suffered in the course of duty.
Well I remember if ever injured I found the oldest remedy always worked best, a quick and tender kiss on the damaged part always makes it better... it does, it does!!
It has no therapeutic value what so every.........but it sounds nice.
The woman I was seeing had started to get fed up with me and we were in the final stages of quitting. I was desperate for a quick shag and she was decent enough to let me. However she just wasn't turned on by me anymore.
So offering as quick a shag as she wanted to, she took off her skirt and knickers and stood up and turned her back to me spreading her cheeks with her hands and bending forward said, 'go on, quickly'.
Everything was lined up nicely and I almost took a running jump, poking into her as hard as I could ,when 'yikes'. Agony.
She was bone dry inside and I ripped my foreskin and top end of my cock in a very painful way, which lasted for several days.
We did try again a few more times but she was always dry. We called an end to our affair. She wanted me to go anyway, so she was happy enough.
So offering as quick a shag as she wanted to, she took off her skirt and knickers and stood up and turned her back to me spreading her cheeks with her hands and bending forward said, 'go on, quickly'.
Everything was lined up nicely and I almost took a running jump, poking into her as hard as I could ,when 'yikes'. Agony.
She was bone dry inside and I ripped my foreskin and top end of my cock in a very painful way, which lasted for several days.
We did try again a few more times but she was always dry. We called an end to our affair. She wanted me to go anyway, so she was happy enough.
Sex God
Quote by jaymar
Bloody 'ell Polo.. last week your bruised neck, this week yer bruised f@*ny!!
Erm, it wasn't last week - it's an old thread!
Ooooh sorry freckle.. guess I got it wrong again!...
Hehe we've all done that :lol:
Quote by Shaz_n_Tony
A few accidents here to..
I was on top of Shaz just the normal missionary position, when i came i headbutted Shaz in the nose
We was having a fag once after sex and the end fell of mine straight on to Sharons nipple.. and it stuck!
Once in fun i went to rip a pair of cheap thongs ( brought for this purpose ) of with my teeth, only the thin bit slid between 2 of my teeth forcing them apart and cutting my gum.. dam thing took nearly 3 hours to stop bleeding.
We was having sex on the stairs near the top landing.. again missionary and i lost my foot hold and slipped down a couple a few steps.. on my front, Nude! :shock:
Sex can be real dangerous and should come with a health warning!
Tony
Do they know in A&E how you came to have carpet burns, singed nips, ripped gums and concussion?
Arise, the Mr Bean of SH :giggle: 