Involving my better half - where / how to begin

1 May 2006

Quote by flidais-media
Just commenting...funny how you aren't saying the same to Darkfire..she made a similar point about the women being left at home when the guy swung.
Maybe it's me but I do wonder why others can make all sorts of comments about people and I constantly get picked out?

My comment wasnt a dig at the fact he's 'playing away' - it was to point out to Ezyflyer that it is his wife who's actually enabling him to do what he does anyway, albeit unconciously, and thats probably the first thing she'll think when / if he tells her. ( but having read the thread since I realise he has no intention of telling her confused

)
I'm not sure, but I'm presuming that I personally didnt get any comments back from that because most people who know me are aware that I have a vanilla partner who does just that: enables me to be part of this lifestyle while he often stays home and looks after our daughter/ goes to work etc, so I'm looking at it from the other side of the coin?? The difference being that HE knows about SH and any part I play in it , and I recognise that I am incredibly fortunate in what I have. dunno

It was a dig however,which you picked up on:

Yep, this bit got me too...so you know she hasn't had time for a 'bit on the side' because you havn't allowed it...though you've allowed yourself time to?

...meaning that while Ezyflyer's out on the pull, his wife is stuck at home unaware, and that really is having your cake and eating it.
I wouldnt want to be in his shoes IF she ever does find out that him suggesting they start swinging together has been born from his solo activities here and not an attempt to perhaps attend to her needs out of love, affection or forgive me for saying it, gratitude.

1 May 2006

Quote by Darkfire

Just commenting...funny how you aren't saying the same to Darkfire..she made a similar point about the women being left at home when the guy swung.
Maybe it's me but I do wonder why others can make all sorts of comments about people and I constantly get picked out?

My comment wasnt a dig at the fact he's 'playing away' - it was to point out to Ezyflyer that it is his wife who's actually enabling him to do what he does anyway, albeit unconciously, and thats probably the first thing she'll think when / if he tells her. ( but having read the thread since I realise he has no intention of telling her confused

)
I'm not sure, but I'm presuming that I personally didnt get any comments back from that because most people who know me are aware that I have a vanilla partner who does just that: enables me to be part of this lifestyle while he often stays home and looks after our daughter/ goes to work etc, so I'm looking at it from the other side of the coin?? The difference being that HE knows about SH and any part I play in it , and I recognise that I am incredibly fortunate in what I have. dunno

It was a dig however,which you picked up on:

Yep, this bit got me too...so you know she hasn't had time for a 'bit on the side' because you havn't allowed it...though you've allowed yourself time to?

...meaning that while Ezyflyer's out on the pull, his wife is stuck at home unaware, and that really is having your cake and eating it.
I wouldnt want to be in his shoes IF she ever does find out that him suggesting they start swinging together has been born from his solo activities here and not an attempt to perhaps attend to her needs out of love, affection or forgive me for saying it, gratitude.
Yes, I agree, it's his concern if he plays away, like you though (I think) I was just commenting on the fact that he is, as you so succintly put it, 'having his cake and eating it', which seemed, to me, a tad unfair on his wife, left at home with work and the kids.
Of course your situation, where your partner knows, is totally different to his as you and your partner obviously have an understanding that you are all comfortable with, which is brilliant biggrin

2 May 2006

Quote by flidais-media

Just commenting...funny how you aren't saying the same to Darkfire..she made a similar point about the women being left at home when the guy swung.
Maybe it's me but I do wonder why others can make all sorts of comments about people and I constantly get picked out?

My comment wasnt a dig at the fact he's 'playing away' - it was to point out to Ezyflyer that it is his wife who's actually enabling him to do what he does anyway, albeit unconciously, and thats probably the first thing she'll think when / if he tells her. ( but having read the thread since I realise he has no intention of telling her confused

)
I'm not sure, but I'm presuming that I personally didnt get any comments back from that because most people who know me are aware that I have a vanilla partner who does just that: enables me to be part of this lifestyle while he often stays home and looks after our daughter/ goes to work etc, so I'm looking at it from the other side of the coin?? The difference being that HE knows about SH and any part I play in it , and I recognise that I am incredibly fortunate in what I have. dunno

It was a dig however,which you picked up on:

Yep, this bit got me too...so you know she hasn't had time for a 'bit on the side' because you havn't allowed it...though you've allowed yourself time to?

...meaning that while Ezyflyer's out on the pull, his wife is stuck at home unaware, and that really is having your cake and eating it.
I wouldnt want to be in his shoes IF she ever does find out that him suggesting they start swinging together has been born from his solo activities here and not an attempt to perhaps attend to her needs out of love, affection or forgive me for saying it, gratitude.
Yes, I agree, it's his concern if he plays away, like you though (I think) I was just commenting on the fact that he is, as you so succintly put it, 'having his cake and eating it', which seemed, to me, a tad unfair on his wife, left at home with work and the kids.
Of course your situation, where your partner knows, is totally different to his as you and your partner obviously have an understanding that you are all comfortable with, which is brilliant biggrin

Ohh

A TAD? :rotflmao: that just tickled me. Saying its a Tad unfair is like saying the Africans in the 80's were only slightly starving and that the Jews were only slightly gassed. Lets face it the guys a twat plain and simple a judgement I hold out to all cheating spouses related to swinging or not, to the internet or not.
Mr Tweeky

2 May 2006

Pololady, very good advice and thanks for it, I'll certainly heed it.
Tweeky, thanks for your views, opinions are a bit like arseholes I suppose, everybody's got one.
When I leave my office early to play, not a regular occurrence at all, it is very late at night when the rest of my family are tucked up in bed, so accusations of me leaving my wife to do all of the work while I play are not, in my view, justified.

2 May 2006

Quote by tweeky
Tip #1 - Don't mention you have already started swinging without her
Tip #2 - If she agrees - find a new site and hope to god she doesn't find this one. It will not go down too well when some of your previous 'meets' start chatting to you both about what fun they had with you :shock: .
Tip #3 - If she wants to think about it - delete all trace of your membership on this site. If she decides to do some homework to look at what swinging is about she is bound to find SH and may just find little clues about you - including a thread asking a bunch of strangers how to get her involved.

Polo when I have killed someone and am on the run I will know who to ask for advice :lol:
Mr Tweeky
Surely any level headed person thinks of these things when they decide to put the 'cart before the horse' :roll:

2 May 2006

Quote by ezyflyer
Tweeky, thanks for your views, opinions are a bit like arseholes I suppose, everybody's got one.

They do, but not everyone gets them out in public.
The moral high ground's getting a bit cramped again, can someone move over a bit please. rolleyes

2 May 2006

Quote by tweeky
Ohh A TAD? :rotflmao: that just tickled me. Saying its a Tad unfair is like saying the Africans in the 80's were only slightly starving and that the Jews were only slightly gassed. Lets face it the guys a twat plain and simple a judgement I hold out to all cheating spouses related to swinging or not, to the internet or not.
Mr Tweeky

Mr Tweeky we are all allowed an opinion but name calling is not called for mad

2 May 2006

Quote by ezyflyer
Pololady, very good advice and thanks for it, I'll certainly heed it.
Tweeky, thanks for your views, opinions are a bit like arseholes I suppose, everybody's got one.
When I leave my office early to play, not a regular occurrence at all, it is very late at night when the rest of my family are tucked up in bed, so accusations of me leaving my wife to do all of the work while I play are not, in my view, justified.

Would like to know the reasons for NOW wanting to share this lifestyle with your wife and why you didn't initially.
I think though if you put your life on a public forum then one shouldn't be surprised to have people comment on it
Wouldn't your wife prefer you nestled next to you when you leave early???

2 May 2006

Something that does cross my mind in threads like this... well more the "my wife won't be up for it" ones actually...
When a married guy decides to have a crack at swinging on their own (without wifey knowing) they regularly seem to say "I know my wife and she won't be up for it".
Well the thoughts that come to me are...
If the wife was asked whether she thought her hubby was porking total strangers from an intenet site behind her back, would she not say "I know my husband and he would not do that"
Which makes me think if she can be so wrong about him - could he not be so wrong about her? Do some people just assume they know people - even partners.
Let's face it... if the wife doesn't know what the hubby is doing - does the hubby really know what wifey is doing?
Then of course there is the thing where hubby thinks his wifey won't be up for it as 'women don't think the same as men'
But who is it the guy is shagging on the side then? Are there only men on this site?
I always wonder how chuffed one of these guys would be to find out that HotPantsMILF69 is infact their wife and she has been having the time of her life.
After all if a couple really know eachother - that is 'really' know eachother - she will know what the hubby is doing and may well be getting hers too. The apparent unwillingness to discuss swinging may well just be wifey not wanting her hubby to spoil her fun or bump into all of the guys she has been boning instead of watching day-time telly.

2 May 2006

Quote by ezyflyer
Pololady, very good advice and thanks for it, I'll certainly heed it.
Tweeky, thanks for your views, opinions are a bit like arseholes I suppose, everybody's got one.
When I leave my office early to play, not a regular occurrence at all, it is very late at night when the rest of my family are tucked up in bed, so accusations of me leaving my wife to do all of the work while I play are not, in my view, justified.

Well, when asked if it was possible if your wife was playing away you inferred that she wouldn't have the chance as she was busy with work and the kids....you can hardly blame anyone from saying what they did. :shock:

2 May 2006

Quote by PoloLady
Something that does cross my mind in threads like this... well more the "my wife won't be up for it" ones actually...
When a married guy decides to have a crack at swinging on their own (without wifey knowing) they regularly seem to say "I know my wife and she won't be up for it".
Well the thoughts that come to me are...
If the wife was asked whether she thought her hubby was porking total strangers from an intenet site behind her back, would she not say "I know my husband and he would not do that"
Which makes me think if she can be so wrong about him - could he not be so wrong about her? Do some people just assume they know people - even partners.
Let's face it... if the wife doesn't know what the hubby is doing - does the hubby really know what wifey is doing?
Then of course there is the thing where hubby thinks his wifey won't be up for it as 'women don't think the same as men'
But who is it the guy is shagging on the side then? Are there only men on this site?
I always wonder how chuffed one of these guys would be to find out that HotPantsMILF69 is infact their wife and she has been having the time of her life.
After all if a couple really know eachother - that is 'really' know eachother - she will know what the hubby is doing and may well be getting hers too. The apparent unwillingness to discuss swinging may well just be wifey not wanting her hubby to spoil her fun or bump into all of the guys she has been boning instead of watching day-time telly.

Some very good points....the original poster seemed quite dismissive of the suggestion that his wife might be having her fun 'elsewhere' too but who can really say? It may be that she's not interested in shagging him that much because she's having a lot more fun with others? wink

2 May 2006

Flidais and Pololady, both very valid posts. She may well be getting it elsewhere, I just doubt it.
Anyway, this is probably my final post on this thread until we have spoken about it together. I will then post up the outcome for all interested parties. It'll be a couple of weeks away as (a) I have to pluck up courage and (b) we have other issues in our home life at present that have nothing to do with sex etc, that are making any thoughts or talk about the subject difficult.
Thanks to all
ezy

2 May 2006

Quote by ezyflyer
Pololady, very good advice and thanks for it, I'll certainly heed it.
Tweeky, thanks for your views, opinions are a bit like arseholes I suppose, everybody's got one.
When I leave my office early to play, not a regular occurrence at all, it is very late at night when the rest of my family are tucked up in bed, so accusations of me leaving my wife to do all of the work while I play are not, in my view, justified.

Seems your wife got a bigger one for free when she married you.

2 May 2006

Maybe this thread is getting a little to personal now ?
Just my thought smile

Shaz x

2 May 2006

Quote by Shaz_n_Tony
Maybe this thread is getting a little to personal now ?
Just my thought
Shaz x

Yep!!!

:roll: :roll: :roll: