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Is It Any Wonder SOME Guys Get Ignored.......
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Sex God
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: On the other side of the coin for a moment..........
Over the years I have swung, the replies I have had from singles and couples have been reasonably brief and 'carefully' written. Although there is usually a mention of what won't get done.
Would there be any point in replying at length to a suitable guy? We usually look and behave like Roger Rabbit on speed for days on end as soon as we see the words 'yes', 'we'd like to meet' and don't read any further. The 'letter' gets chewed to pieces in the intervening period.
Over the years I have swung, the replies I have had from singles and couples have been reasonably brief and 'carefully' written. Although there is usually a mention of what won't get done.
Would there be any point in replying at length to a suitable guy? We usually look and behave like Roger Rabbit on speed for days on end as soon as we see the words 'yes', 'we'd like to meet' and don't read any further. The 'letter' gets chewed to pieces in the intervening period.
Sex God
Quote by mattmoleman
I think that chat up style could catch on. Don't think I've quite got the hang of it yet though.
Oi! What on earth have you done to my loaf......... I thought it tasted funny, and here was me thinking the DairyLea was off :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Oh, the replies I could show you, my wankers folder is full of howlers......... brb :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Sex God
Quote by bluexxx
Oi! What on earth have you done to my loaf......... I thought it tasted funny, and here was me thinking the DairyLea was off :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Oh, the replies I could show you, my wankers folder is full of howlers......... brb :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
You've been eating your own avatar? :shock: Just jump in that tub of DairyLea and let others eat you instead. Yummy.
I can't believe you actually keep them. Is it a common thing to keep really, really bad replies? Or as blue so eliquently puts it, a wankers folder :lol:
Sex God
Yes, I keep all my replies, they come in handy to have a howl at when I'm bored :lol: :lol: :lol: . Anyways, here's a few, not including the "fuck me now" ones, from the last time I advertised..............
Hi,
My name is XXXXXXXXXX and I am a 32 yr old professional bi guy.
Clean and discreet on the outside, naughty and
adventurous on the inside and always with a sense of
fun. I am the kind of guy you could invite to your
mum's for Sunday lunch and then back to yours after
for some filthy fun! The point is that I know how to
behave and when to misbehave.
Beyond that I am into all the usual so long as its
pleasurable and particularly enjoy giving oral, I
can't get enough.
I've attached a pic which I hope you like and can send
more if you are interested. I am also available on MSN
under XXXXXXXXXXXX and have a webcam if you
need verification that I am who I say I am.
Look forward to hearing from you,
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
This one made me howl cos of the mums at Sunday lunch line :lol2: , and actually I suppose it was decent reply other than he ignored the particulars of my ad completely - copy and paste jobbie obviously.
______________________________
Hello there, how are you? I was just reading your profile on swinging
heaven. Very nice!! I would love to meet you.
I am 30, 5'10", medium build, black hair and brown eyes. Im a
professional (a Doc) I like to have fun. I am easy going with a good sense of
humour. Anything else you want to know, please ask.
Well, shame his doctorate didn't teach him much about replying to ads
__________________________________
by the way u must give me ten straight away ty
Huh? :confused:
____________________________________
Hi.
I found your profile and think we could help satisfy and entertain each
other. If you agree I'd love to hear from you. My email is:
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX xx
Yeah right
____________________________________
Hi Blue, I saw you on Swinging Heaven. I am an affluent and smart
professional living between Milan and London. I would love to get to know
you better and meet you soon.
You will enjoy it. Ad No. XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Hope to hear from you soon.
Bye
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
So, come on, own up.... who moved London and Milan to the North West without telling me :dry:
_____________________________________
Hi, im 25 from manchester, very sexy, tanned and horny as hell. I can
only send pics via email, XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX so i
can send u one
u wont be disappointed xx
:roll: :roll:
_________________________________________
hi where u from
:doh:
__________________________________________
Hi seen your ad iam 36 slim build not bad looking and i think make up
all the things you want o my cock is 7in i would love to fuck you at the
same time sucking on a big hard cock any way get back to me if you
think i could be the lucky guy
_______________________________________
38 married 15 stone 5"8 UP FOR fun very horny would love to try first
time bi...x
:gagged:
____________________________________
hello im XXXXXXX 35 in to the gym and keeping fit ring us if you want to
meet up on XXXXXXXXXXX
___________________________________________
And they wonder why they don't get replies :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
:lol: :lol: :lol: . Anyways, here's a few, not including the "fuck me now" ones, from the last time I advertised..............Hi,
My name is XXXXXXXXXX and I am a 32 yr old professional bi guy.
Clean and discreet on the outside, naughty and
adventurous on the inside and always with a sense of
fun. I am the kind of guy you could invite to your
mum's for Sunday lunch and then back to yours after
for some filthy fun! The point is that I know how to
behave and when to misbehave.
Beyond that I am into all the usual so long as its
pleasurable and particularly enjoy giving oral, I
can't get enough.
I've attached a pic which I hope you like and can send
more if you are interested. I am also available on MSN
under XXXXXXXXXXXX and have a webcam if you
need verification that I am who I say I am.
Look forward to hearing from you,
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
This one made me howl cos of the mums at Sunday lunch line :lol2: , and actually I suppose it was decent reply other than he ignored the particulars of my ad completely - copy and paste jobbie obviously.
______________________________
Hello there, how are you? I was just reading your profile on swinging
heaven. Very nice!! I would love to meet you.
I am 30, 5'10", medium build, black hair and brown eyes. Im a
professional (a Doc) I like to have fun. I am easy going with a good sense of
humour. Anything else you want to know, please ask.
Well, shame his doctorate didn't teach him much about replying to ads
__________________________________
by the way u must give me ten straight away ty
Huh? :confused:
____________________________________
Hi.
I found your profile and think we could help satisfy and entertain each
other. If you agree I'd love to hear from you. My email is:
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX xx
Yeah right
____________________________________
Hi Blue, I saw you on Swinging Heaven. I am an affluent and smart
professional living between Milan and London. I would love to get to know
you better and meet you soon.
You will enjoy it. Ad No. XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Hope to hear from you soon.
Bye
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
So, come on, own up.... who moved London and Milan to the North West without telling me :dry:
_____________________________________
Hi, im 25 from manchester, very sexy, tanned and horny as hell. I can
only send pics via email, XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX so i
can send u one
u wont be disappointed xx
:roll: :roll: _________________________________________
hi where u from
:doh:
__________________________________________
Hi seen your ad iam 36 slim build not bad looking and i think make up
all the things you want o my cock is 7in i would love to fuck you at the
same time sucking on a big hard cock any way get back to me if you
think i could be the lucky guy
_______________________________________
38 married 15 stone 5"8 UP FOR fun very horny would love to try first
time bi...x
:gagged:
____________________________________
hello im XXXXXXX 35 in to the gym and keeping fit ring us if you want to
meet up on XXXXXXXXXXX
___________________________________________
And they wonder why they don't get replies :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
Sex God
Quote by JudyTV
I can't believe you actually keep them. Is it a common thing to keep really, really bad replies? Or as blue so eliquently puts it, a wankers folder
If you saw some of the ones guys send to me you would keep them too. People still think we write them ourselves. Absolutely mind-blowing. You just would not believe some of the suggestions I get
...... .admitedly I just so had to try the odd one or two of them. 
Judy
Go on, do tell Judy. Were they like the emails they sent you?
Priceless Blue. Most just sound completely out of the 'blue' (pardon the poor pun) but I suppose that just makes them bizaar.
Sex God
Judy, did he give you the numbers for the other four adverts he has? All exactly the same. It really wouldn't suprise me.
Sex God
Well i have another..... not quite as rude.... but just proves that they really DON'T read what your seeking.........
You may want to read my Ad 1st so you will understand it better.... 369870
Email follows.....
hi am XXXX
just seen ur advert on swingers heaven and thought i'd drop u a line
well am 20 from the north west
am clean and can be descreet if requiredhope to hear from you soon
:doh:
And here is another.......
hi I'm 24 years old italian looking for fun with
another girl...I'm 1 80 meters curly air really nice body...i like oral sex i have my toungue pierced
brown air brown eyes...i don't send you a clean picture because lots of time people use them for web sites
but if you are interested reply and you'll have
It...so I wait for you reply i'm up for anything you
want!
:confused:
And just wait for this 1.......
lovely minge isn't it!
id like to rub my plastic bag on it.
WTF No name, no age, no pic..... and yes u have guessed.... No reply!!!
You may want to read my Ad 1st so you will understand it better.... 369870
Email follows.....
hi am XXXX
just seen ur advert on swingers heaven and thought i'd drop u a line
well am 20 from the north west
am clean and can be descreet if requiredhope to hear from you soon
:doh:
And here is another.......
hi I'm 24 years old italian looking for fun with
another girl...I'm 1 80 meters curly air really nice body...i like oral sex i have my toungue pierced
brown air brown eyes...i don't send you a clean picture because lots of time people use them for web sites
but if you are interested reply and you'll have
It...so I wait for you reply i'm up for anything you
want!
:confused:
And just wait for this 1.......
lovely minge isn't it!
id like to rub my plastic bag on it.
WTF
No name, no age, no pic..... and yes u have guessed.... No reply!!! 
Sex God
lol pmsl never laughted so mucth at reading these replies to adds.....
i cant belive people actually send the drivell............
MikeC
i cant belive people actually send the drivell............
MikeC
Sex God
Tut it's so annoying when people don't read ads properly 
Sex God
Quote by JudyTV
Hi
Looking to get my cock sucked through a car window tonight. I have 8.5 inches uncut very clean. I'll walk over to your open window unzip my cock and you wank/suck me off. I'll be sniffing poppers so there will be a good load to swallow I'm a straight bloke so I AM NOT offering anything in return. Also I am not looking to engage in any conversation at all I really prefer a TV or CD but a warm mouth in the dark will do.
I'll be available for the next couple of hours.
Of course all ladies welcome.
Cheers
Judy, did you tell him that you keep a travel rug in your car --- just so as he knows that he wouldn't have to stand for the whole time :giggle:
Quote by bluexxx
Hi
Looking to get my cock sucked through a car window tonight. I have 8.5 inches uncut very clean. I'll walk over to your open window unzip my cock and you wank/suck me off. I'll be sniffing poppers so there will be a good load to swallow I'm a straight bloke so I AM NOT offering anything in return. Also I am not looking to engage in any conversation at all I really prefer a TV or CD but a warm mouth in the dark will do.
I'll be available for the next couple of hours.
Of course all ladies welcome.
Cheers
Judy, did you tell him that you keep a travel rug in your car --- just so as he knows that he wouldn't have to stand for the whole time :giggle:
am i missing something here :shock:
does having you cock suched by a TV but not offering anything back make you str8 now days?
walks away very confused
Sex God
Quote by JudyTV
Hi
Looking to get my cock sucked through a car window tonight. I have 8.5 inches uncut very clean. I'll walk over to your open window unzip my cock and you wank/suck me off. I'll be sniffing poppers so there will be a good load to swallow I'm a straight bloke so I AM NOT offering anything in return. Also I am not looking to engage in any conversation at all I really prefer a TV or CD but a warm mouth in the dark will do.
I'll be available for the next couple of hours.
Of course all ladies welcome.
Cheers
Judy, did you tell him that you keep a travel rug in your car --- just so as he knows that he wouldn't have to stand for the whole time :giggle:
Seeing as its your turn to pay for lunch today I will be ordering the biggest flucking steak on the menu followed by a double pudding (crepes in Brandy Sauce) A bottle of the dearest white wine and finish it off with a very large Brandy. We will leave the car in the car-park and get a Taxi into the village.. you can pay :P
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
So.......... I need to take out a third mortgage to get through today, don't I
:lol: :lol: Actually, I thought the guys ad was quite horny..........
ops: :oops: :oops: ......... but as a non driver and user of public transport I don't suppose his scenario would work quite as well through a train window :shock: :shock: :shock: Quote by JudyTV
Well they read mine properly :P
not looking for meets...so never get any responses :P ....must be because couples and ladies DO READ :shock:
You will be inundated with replies for a meet now, from every conceivable section of the swinging community and from all three sexes.
Judy
:P ......well I'll have just have to let them down gently then :P
travelling distances...........how can anyone complain about them in the uk
Sex God
Quote by JudyTV
Saying that I think I have been dumped anyway. Flucking hell, I have been dumped by a straight guy
:haha:
And I thought my life was bad
Sex God
Quote by bluexxx
Actually, I thought the guys ad was quite horny..........
OMFG! :shock:
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
I bet you'd bloody well have fun trying though!
Gem. x - can fully recommend sex on trains but not through windows!
