Just finished a phonecall with my mum. I asked her if she was happy to have the kids in Termtime if Mars and I went on holiday for a week without the kids. I explained I would take them on a camping holiday first, but was keen to spend a week visiting SH friends with just Mars.
'I was asked 'what about the poor kids'
I asked her if she had actually heard me say that I'd take them camping first.
Was asked if I could afford two holidays.
I emphasised 'camping' and 'staying with friends' (as in not paying for flights, accomodation yadda yadda). Then I emphasised the fact I have a very stressful job, and was told 'As long as you stick with it' :huh:
Making my time off valuable is sticking with it.
Am I a monster?!
Venusxxx
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Is it bad to go on holiday without your kids?!
Sex God
Venus having a break from the children isn't a bad thing. :shock: They have you for the week and then they have their grandparents.....surely they are getting the best of both worlds. 
Oooohhhh Venus.... What we wouldn't give to have a week without our kids....
I really think that it's important to have time for just the two of you be it a weekend away or if you are lucky a week... We do manage the occasional weekend away but we have to beg, plead and get on bended knee to get my Mum to take then overnight...
Dont feel guilty, and you are not a monster for wanting it hun
Like da69ve said, they are getting a camping holiday so why should you have to justify it hun...
Shireen
xxx
I really think that it's important to have time for just the two of you be it a weekend away or if you are lucky a week... We do manage the occasional weekend away but we have to beg, plead and get on bended knee to get my Mum to take then overnight...
Dont feel guilty, and you are not a monster for wanting it hun
Like da69ve said, they are getting a camping holiday so why should you have to justify it hun...
Shireen
xxx
Sex God
Quote by VenusnMars
Am I a monster?!
Venusxxx
Yes!!
You are obviously a horrible and uncaring parent even considering leaving your own flesh and blood with someone else
:x :x God I wish we could leave ours for a week to play away. Good luck to you.........
....you're not coming up to Scotland by any chance are you??????
:twisted: 
Sex God
I don't have kids, but I don't think you are a monster at all.
Like someone has said they will also get a week with grandparents, so they will spoilt etc.
You both have a good week and enjoy yourselves.
(bed here is you need one on your week out!! free of charge)
Like someone has said they will also get a week with grandparents, so they will spoilt etc.
You both have a good week and enjoy yourselves.
(bed here is you need one on your week out!! free of charge)
It's been years since I have had a weekend with my kids, let alone a holiday! Eugh, the very thought is curdling my cum.
Sunday night till Friday night is enough. Even that is hideously cutting into my social life.
Still, at 9 and 11, it'll not be long till they want to move out, will it? And if they don't, hell... they can be left alone to do their own thing from age 14, can't they?
Ah! But would I have not had them if I knew then what I know now? DAMN RIGHT!
Sunday night till Friday night is enough. Even that is hideously cutting into my social life.
Still, at 9 and 11, it'll not be long till they want to move out, will it? And if they don't, hell... they can be left alone to do their own thing from age 14, can't they?
Ah! But would I have not had them if I knew then what I know now? DAMN RIGHT!
Sex God
venus, obviously i'd support you in your need to visit certain friends, possibly at the other end of the country who knows 
so i'd suggest, if your mum won't wear it, calling social services and asking them for some respite time. you can pick 'em back up from their foster mum's a week or two later, safe in the knowledge they've been well fed and watered, so you can get up to all kinds of shennanigans completely guilt free! 
;)
hope this helps!
n x x x :P
so i'd suggest, if your mum won't wear it, calling social services and asking them for some respite time. you can pick 'em back up from their foster mum's a week or two later, safe in the knowledge they've been well fed and watered, so you can get up to all kinds of shennanigans completely guilt free! ;)hope this helps!
n x x x :P
Venus ...you're sanity depends on it (who said too late :shock: )
As a parent herself your mom will know what a godsend a break from the kids will be ...She's just from a different generation where mum had the role of "grinning and bearing it" The pressures on us nowadays means it so much more important we take all opportunities to shed stress whenever we can.
Good luck and enjoy your holiday!
As a parent herself your mom will know what a godsend a break from the kids will be ...She's just from a different generation where mum had the role of "grinning and bearing it" The pressures on us nowadays means it so much more important we take all opportunities to shed stress whenever we can.
Good luck and enjoy your holiday!
Orgasminator
Go on holiday , have fun :twisted: the kids will be there when you get back 
and you,ll appreciate each other more at the end of it .....( lucky buggers !) :wink:
and you,ll appreciate each other more at the end of it .....( lucky buggers !) :wink: Quote by niceguysdoexist
Venus ...you're sanity depends on it (who said too late :shock: )
As a parent herself your mom will know what a godsend a break from the kids will be ...She's just from a different generation where mum had the role of "grinning and bearing it" The pressures on us nowadays means it so much more important we take all opportunities to shed stress whenever we can.
Good luck and enjoy your holiday!
I'm an only child (who'd have guessed
) But yes, if dad comes out with 'in my day' one more time, I swear to god he'll be looking for a new jugular. :huh:
Neil, I'm liking your idea :lol2:
Venusxxx
Course you aint! Gawd I'd be a monster right behind you if you were!
We all need time away and time together as adults without the kids is important too.
You've said you're taking them camping first so what's the problem? I organise stuff in termtime, as you have, to do on my own and then at least they are at school all day and there's just the evening to do.
Don't worry - I love my mum to bits and wouldn't have managed so well without her help, but I think they have a little button that they press inside that's marked 'yeah but don't have too good a time and remember to feel a little guilty it's only right.'
I was hauled over the coals at a family gathering by my wicked aunty last weekend where she accused me of 'always being away, and saying to me 'well what about the kids?' That's bull - I've given my all for those kids and now they are older I won't stay in and wait for things to come to me. I've always took them travelling with me too. I just like to go on me own sometimes. Anyway she hit a raw nerve and I kept my cool but her idle speculation upset me - just like you are doubting it now - it's because our little guilt button has been pressed and it's a natural feeling. Step over it and enjoy your break. Personally I think I'm going to always feel like that, it's cos the kids are part of ya, it's natural but it's important to remember yourself for you too.....
Pass the ginnnnnnn!!
Cathy x
We all need time away and time together as adults without the kids is important too.
You've said you're taking them camping first so what's the problem? I organise stuff in termtime, as you have, to do on my own and then at least they are at school all day and there's just the evening to do.
Don't worry - I love my mum to bits and wouldn't have managed so well without her help, but I think they have a little button that they press inside that's marked 'yeah but don't have too good a time and remember to feel a little guilty it's only right.'
I was hauled over the coals at a family gathering by my wicked aunty last weekend where she accused me of 'always being away, and saying to me 'well what about the kids?' That's bull - I've given my all for those kids and now they are older I won't stay in and wait for things to come to me. I've always took them travelling with me too. I just like to go on me own sometimes. Anyway she hit a raw nerve and I kept my cool but her idle speculation upset me - just like you are doubting it now - it's because our little guilt button has been pressed and it's a natural feeling. Step over it and enjoy your break. Personally I think I'm going to always feel like that, it's cos the kids are part of ya, it's natural but it's important to remember yourself for you too.....
Pass the ginnnnnnn!!
Cathy x
Well I suppose it hits a nerve more so now I am working, often lates, nights and weekends meaning my time with them is limited anyway. It's not so much the break from the kids I need, but the opportunity to be able to let my hair down with friends, friends who all live too bloody far away!
Venusxxx
Venusxxx
Quote by VenusnMars
Well I suppose it hits a nerve more so now I am working, often lates, nights and weekends meaning my time with them is limited anyway. It's not so much the break from the kids I need, but the opportunity to be able to let my hair down with friends, friends who all live too bloody far away!
Venusxxx
I knew you agreed with me really, see?
Feckin' kids.
Sex God
Depends really.
If you forget them and leave them at home and they turn out to be some obnoxious little brats who defends the home in a series of amaturish slap-stick ways from a couple of low-rate burglars and you then go on to repeat the mistake while in an unknown city, then yes you are a bad parent.
I have a serious question though. How often do your parents look after the kids?
It used to be fairly normal in our family for the grandparents to look after the kids at least once a month. If you've not been leaving them with the grandparents I'd say they owe you time. :thumbup:
If you forget them and leave them at home and they turn out to be some obnoxious little brats who defends the home in a series of amaturish slap-stick ways from a couple of low-rate burglars and you then go on to repeat the mistake while in an unknown city, then yes you are a bad parent.
I have a serious question though. How often do your parents look after the kids?
It used to be fairly normal in our family for the grandparents to look after the kids at least once a month. If you've not been leaving them with the grandparents I'd say they owe you time.
:thumbup: 
Sex God
No Venus it's not bad.
Anyway, just think: the kid's'll be getting a holiday too.....................from you and Mars!!
Go for it and don't forget yer friends close to home and in S. Wales too!
:grin: :grin: :grin:
Anyway, just think: the kid's'll be getting a holiday too.....................from you and Mars!!
Go for it and don't forget yer friends close to home and in S. Wales too!
:grin: :grin: :grin:
It varies, sometimes it's a couple of months between sitting, sometimes (but rarely) twice a month. Pends on Munches! They did have them three times over Feb/March, and again weekend before last, but they usually only have the boy, the eldest is too old for sitting, and the middle child prefers to stay with her friend. I won't be asking again til July I don't think.
Gotta go to work, catch you later
Venusxxx
Gotta go to work, catch you later
Venusxxx
Sex God
Quote by VenusnMars
Am I a monster?!
Venusxxx
I would never have dared ask my mum to have looked after our kids for a week even though both my parents lived with us in the same house
If Jon and I wanted to go out for an evening my mother would create hell, insinuating I was a reckless fickle person who was unfit to have had children
"If you want to go out all the time, why did you bother having children?" she would enquire - all the time being about twice a year
Maybe it's the generation our parents grew up in that makes them think we shouldn't do anything as a couple, only as a whole family?
I hope your mother will have the kids for you. I'm sure it will be a fab week for you and them if she does
Tracy-Jayne
Sexlightened
We got the same reaction when we asked.
The odd night away is fine but just not long enough.
Trouble is the kids can’t go where we would like to go :shock: :shock: . Of course if we did go away without the kids, expect we would spend most of the time worrying if everything was OK.
Still will just have to work on the parents a bit more
Sussex2
The odd night away is fine but just not long enough.
Trouble is the kids can’t go where we would like to go :shock: :shock: . Of course if we did go away without the kids, expect we would spend most of the time worrying if everything was OK.
Still will just have to work on the parents a bit more
Sussex2
No Venus, on this occasion you are not a monster
Kat and I regularly leave the kids with Grandparents and go off on our own. This is something that we see as essential to maintaining our relationship and therefore the kids well being ie happy parents = happy, secure kids.
I guess we are fortunate that my mother is very supportive in this respect and that our kids are now old enough to be left on their own for a week.
There is more to being a parent than just 'being there' for your kids, they also need to see that you are individuals in your own right and not just mum and dad and to recognise that they are not the sole focus of your lives. It won't kill them and it just might make them more understanding and tolerant of others values in life apart from their own.
So, if you are a monster for wanting to spend some quality time without your kids, then I would have to be the biggest hell bitch monster around :shock:
and I'm sooooooo sweet really
:lol:
Kat and I regularly leave the kids with Grandparents and go off on our own. This is something that we see as essential to maintaining our relationship and therefore the kids well being ie happy parents = happy, secure kids.
I guess we are fortunate that my mother is very supportive in this respect and that our kids are now old enough to be left on their own for a week.
There is more to being a parent than just 'being there' for your kids, they also need to see that you are individuals in your own right and not just mum and dad and to recognise that they are not the sole focus of your lives. It won't kill them and it just might make them more understanding and tolerant of others values in life apart from their own.
So, if you are a monster for wanting to spend some quality time without your kids, then I would have to be the biggest hell bitch monster around :shock:
and I'm sooooooo sweet really
:lol: Quote by Red(RHG)
I was hauled over the coals at a family gathering by my wicked aunty last weekend where she accused me of 'always being away, and saying to me 'well what about the kids?' Cathy x
My sister used to make snide comments about my mum looking after my children on a saturday night and insinuating that i went out all of the time. I pointed out the reality is that I am at home every one of the other 6 nights, as well as every other moment i am not at uni,
The happiness of your children depends on the well being of parent(s) and sometimes you just have to put your needs first.
Sanity rules and whingers drool.
We are very lucky when it comes to babysitters......we have yet to ask for a week away (due to getting the same time off from work) but we know it would never be a long as we give far notice my mum and my partners parents would do it,even my sister in law has said she would help out!....all we need now is the money to go away!
Oh I can so sympathise Venus!
We're lucky (or unlucky) to have both sets of grandparents living only a mile away from us. This is good for babysitting but bad for privacy.
We try not to ask them to watch the kids TOO often, maybe once every 2 months (sometimes more often depending on munches, meets etc) but somehow we manage to feel guilty anyway.
We've only ever left them for one night at a time (so far) but watch this space
Good on you Venus for trying to get a week to yourselves! It IS important to spend time together without the kids and I know it helps us to stay sane
It's also very frustrating trying to organise babysitters and sometimes make up excuses for it - it was so much easier when we could just suit ourselves and do what we wanted, when we wanted (still we wouldn't be without the children, just roll on the time when they can be left home alone! )
Fee
XX
We're lucky (or unlucky) to have both sets of grandparents living only a mile away from us. This is good for babysitting but bad for privacy.
We try not to ask them to watch the kids TOO often, maybe once every 2 months (sometimes more often depending on munches, meets etc) but somehow we manage to feel guilty anyway.
We've only ever left them for one night at a time (so far) but watch this space
Good on you Venus for trying to get a week to yourselves! It IS important to spend time together without the kids and I know it helps us to stay sane
It's also very frustrating trying to organise babysitters and sometimes make up excuses for it - it was so much easier when we could just suit ourselves and do what we wanted, when we wanted (still we wouldn't be without the children, just roll on the time when they can be left home alone!
)Fee
XX
Sex God
Good God, who'd have thought this was the new millennium!
We went to NewYork for 5 days last year and as much as we missed them, we soooooooooo needed the time away. We have NO SUPPORT in bringing them up, no mum or dad on doorstep to babysit so i can go to Tescos etc, so for all those years we struggled with taking them everywhere (even to my smear tests ) i looked upon this as my break ...selfish maybe....but it provided the break i so bloody needed.
This year, we have been more selfish, the odd weekends away without them, its been my saviour, im a person again, not just a mum and if you speak to any health visitor worth their salt, they will agree its a good thing to leave them occasionally.
Ahem..for my lodger, whos also my friend, whos also my weekend babysitter occasionally!
Venus...go for it and dont feel bad...time will fly and you will be back with them before you know it!
xxxx
We went to NewYork for 5 days last year and as much as we missed them, we soooooooooo needed the time away. We have NO SUPPORT in bringing them up, no mum or dad on doorstep to babysit so i can go to Tescos etc, so for all those years we struggled with taking them everywhere (even to my smear tests
) i looked upon this as my break ...selfish maybe....but it provided the break i so bloody needed.This year, we have been more selfish, the odd weekends away without them, its been my saviour, im a person again, not just a mum and if you speak to any health visitor worth their salt, they will agree its a good thing to leave them occasionally.
Ahem..for my lodger, whos also my friend, whos also my weekend babysitter occasionally!
Venus...go for it and dont feel bad...time will fly and you will be back with them before you know it!
xxxx
Ditto what Kit said Venus.
It is just not OK to do it, many kids find it reassuring that their parents actually want to spend time together. When our kids were younger, we just took the line that we were best friends who wanted to go on holiday without the kids looking over our shoulders, just as they don't want parents looking over their shoulders when they are with best friends.
lhk
Kat
It is just not OK to do it, many kids find it reassuring that their parents actually want to spend time together. When our kids were younger, we just took the line that we were best friends who wanted to go on holiday without the kids looking over our shoulders, just as they don't want parents looking over their shoulders when they are with best friends.
lhk
Kat
Hi Venus xxxx
If you're a monster for wanting a week away from your kids to indulge yourself and re-affirm your adult relationship,then what the hell does that make me??!!
I've been a single mom for 11 years now with only one weekend away under my belt..... and shares in the wine and valium industry!! lol
However,I've come to realise that I'm finding it harder and harder and have decided to let them go live with their dad.........in BRISBANE!!!!!!! So I guess that makes me the biggest most rottenest monster going........oh well,I'll survive!!
You go girl......enjoy every minute xxxx
:bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
If you're a monster for wanting a week away from your kids to indulge yourself and re-affirm your adult relationship,then what the hell does that make me??!!
I've been a single mom for 11 years now with only one weekend away under my belt..... and shares in the wine and valium industry!! lol
However,I've come to realise that I'm finding it harder and harder and have decided to let them go live with their dad.........in BRISBANE!!!!!!! So I guess that makes me the biggest most rottenest monster going........oh well,I'll survive!!
You go girl......enjoy every minute xxxx
:bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
