Hi everyone
It has been something that I have been thinking about after reading an article in a men's magazine. It said that a large majority of women fantasise about non-consensual sex. Is this true and what do you fantasise about?
Trust me I am no weirdo and just want to put an argument to rest that is all.
I look forward to hearing from you all
regards
Paul
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Is it true that women fantasise about non consensual sex?
Sex God
I belive the " " fantasy is common amongst women, but I think it's actually a fantasy about being totally "dominated" by a sexual partner and not actually wanting to be (just to make that 100% clear, THIS CANNOT BE USED AS AN EXCUSE TO WOMEN).
You never know who's reading this site.
You never know who's reading this site.
Yeah... odd world we live in! :shock:
I do think, though, that there's a confusion between 'non-consentual' sex (or as Easy correctly puts it) and being forced or coerced by a regular partner. Having a good old fashioned bodice ripper as a lover is a wonderful thing! Physical damage resulting from is just plain sick.
Hxx
I do think, though, that there's a confusion between 'non-consentual' sex (or as Easy correctly puts it) and being forced or coerced by a regular partner. Having a good old fashioned bodice ripper as a lover is a wonderful thing! Physical damage resulting from is just plain sick.
Hxx
I'll take Heather's point 1 step further, and point out there is a huge difference betweek and being forced or coerced by a stranger in a siutation WHICH YOU CONSENTED TO.
Talk to people from the BDSM scene, and they'll tell you it is the conscent that counts, NOT the specific acts you consent to.
Forced sex fantasies are surprisingly common, but I think you'll find they are almost all fantasies about *consensual* forced sex, not .
is a sick and evil thing that can never be condoned under any circumstances, consensual forced sex, on the other hand can be a LOT of fun for both parties!
Talk to people from the BDSM scene, and they'll tell you it is the conscent that counts, NOT the specific acts you consent to.
Forced sex fantasies are surprisingly common, but I think you'll find they are almost all fantasies about *consensual* forced sex, not .
is a sick and evil thing that can never be condoned under any circumstances, consensual forced sex, on the other hand can be a LOT of fun for both parties!
Guys
Thank you all so much for taking the time to put your views together, it is really appreciated.
Sorry Roger, did not mention anything about your topic!
Yes there is a clear difference between and non-concentural sex. is a nasty, evil thing that should never happen to anyone.
thanks again
Paul
Thank you all so much for taking the time to put your views together, it is really appreciated.
Sorry Roger, did not mention anything about your topic!
Yes there is a clear difference between and non-concentural sex. is a nasty, evil thing that should never happen to anyone.
thanks again
Paul
I guess this kind of thread must come up now and again. These comments are not intended to encourage anyone in any way and particularly not meant to encourage people who have a less than fully committed partner (come on, we've all met them at parties - couples where one is there to 'please' their other half more than for themselves)
No kind of magazine article or survey therein can be taken with anything other than a pinch of salt or two, surely. But it is clear that a 'play- ' situation can potentially be a seriously outre thing to do to while away the long autumn evenings (hint to partner who has expressed interest) . If both parties are fully seized of the implications and if the good old bdsm safeword/signal routine is followed then what harm can it bring (assuming always that neither partner has a history of real-life abuse) ... ?
How realistic it gets to be is up to the couple involved, but whatever happens, informed consent has to be the way.
Remember also that the Law is not going to be friendly to you if a scene of this kind occurs with someone you are not close to and that person has a change of heart/mind during the event.
And still 'on-topic' : there are plenty of guys around who might enjoy the tables being turned in some way - but I'm not sure I fancy being chased through the local woodlands by my gf with a scary strap-on shining in the moonlight - but, there again ...........
have fun, play safe and don't scare the horses (or anything else that lives in the woods)
the kent host
from sandwich (lots of secluded woodlands round here, ho ho !)
No kind of magazine article or survey therein can be taken with anything other than a pinch of salt or two, surely. But it is clear that a 'play- ' situation can potentially be a seriously outre thing to do to while away the long autumn evenings (hint to partner who has expressed interest) . If both parties are fully seized of the implications and if the good old bdsm safeword/signal routine is followed then what harm can it bring (assuming always that neither partner has a history of real-life abuse) ... ?
How realistic it gets to be is up to the couple involved, but whatever happens, informed consent has to be the way.
Remember also that the Law is not going to be friendly to you if a scene of this kind occurs with someone you are not close to and that person has a change of heart/mind during the event.
And still 'on-topic' : there are plenty of guys around who might enjoy the tables being turned in some way - but I'm not sure I fancy being chased through the local woodlands by my gf with a scary strap-on shining in the moonlight - but, there again ...........
have fun, play safe and don't scare the horses (or anything else that lives in the woods)
the kent host
from sandwich (lots of secluded woodlands round here, ho ho !)
As a newbie in a BDSM club once said: I'd like to be .. but not by a !
"No" means No. "I'd like you to do (whatever), ignoring me if I say No while you are doing it" means Yes.
It's for exactly this sort of confusion that 'safe words' were invented - some random word like 'cauliflower' that both parties understand means 'stop, I'm not enjoying this', for use in fantasies involving consent to forced sex/restraint/pain etc. Generally in a scene there will be a hierarchy of words that mean things from 'ok, I liked that the first few times, but could you do something else for a bit', through to 'ok, this whole thing stops NOW'.
Of course, if you get really into this sort of thing, you'll eventually end up wanting the 'ignore the safe word' fantasy, which is where things get a little more complicated!
"No" means No. "I'd like you to do (whatever), ignoring me if I say No while you are doing it" means Yes.
It's for exactly this sort of confusion that 'safe words' were invented - some random word like 'cauliflower' that both parties understand means 'stop, I'm not enjoying this', for use in fantasies involving consent to forced sex/restraint/pain etc. Generally in a scene there will be a hierarchy of words that mean things from 'ok, I liked that the first few times, but could you do something else for a bit', through to 'ok, this whole thing stops NOW'.
Of course, if you get really into this sort of thing, you'll eventually end up wanting the 'ignore the safe word' fantasy, which is where things get a little more complicated!
Quote by Mister_Discreet
As a newbie in a BDSM club once said: I'd like to be .. but not by a !
"No" means No. "I'd like you to do (whatever), ignoring me if I say No while you are doing it" means Yes.
It's for exactly this sort of confusion that 'safe words' were invented - some random word like 'cauliflower' that both parties understand means 'stop, I'm not enjoying this', for use in fantasies involving consent to forced sex/restraint/pain etc. Generally in a scene there will be a hierarchy of words that mean things from 'ok, I liked that the first few times, but could you do something else for a bit', through to 'ok, this whole thing stops NOW'.
Of course, if you get really into this sort of thing, you'll eventually end up wanting the 'ignore the safe word' fantasy, which is where things get a little more complicated!
I'd have to agree totally with Mister_Discreet.
Getting involve in a Consensual "forced act" shouldn't be taken lightly .. even if you are a married couple. It's way to easy to overstep the limits of another person and I think that safe words are one of the key elements in preventing this. And of course the ability to trust in the other person.
I have a problem with this , there is rich seam of male domination in womens literature where the dashing hero takes charge and "does it ..." to the submissive little girlie , who actually wants it really bad anyway but is too "rephained" to admit this to anyone , including herself . So she gets the sex , the readers get the vicarious thrill and it's all the mans fault and he gets the blame , so a result all round . Well actually no , because somewhere this shades into and more insiduusly by making that end of a spectrum that does shade into more "respectable " has the effect of legitimising in some peoples minds .
My opinion , this type of writing should be socially unacceptable , of course may be an integral part of work of fiction , but it shouyld be treated responsibly , it is the 2nd most seriuos crime after murder .
My opinion , this type of writing should be socially unacceptable , of course may be an integral part of work of fiction , but it shouyld be treated responsibly , it is the 2nd most seriuos crime after murder .
:shock:
i dont have fantasies about being
there s a big differance between being for real and haveing a slighty dominated fantasy
i swing both dom and sub
i do like a man to be a man in and out of bed i think its a power thing it makes me feel safe
but then just to confuse the situation i turn the tables and like to over power him.......... :twisted:
i dont have fantasies about being
there s a big differance between being for real and haveing a slighty dominated fantasy
i swing both dom and sub
i do like a man to be a man in and out of bed i think its a power thing it makes me feel safe
but then just to confuse the situation i turn the tables and like to over power him.......... :twisted:
You know, I actually went through a phase about seven or eight years ago where I used to write porn stories - not because it was a sexual fantasy of mine, but I just got intellectually fascinated by trying write damaged protagonists.
I used to post it to a newsgroup, and even years after I'd get odd emails from people who'd read it and liked it and got off on it. Suffice it to say, that really freaked me out! (There was even one guy who wanted to me write a story to match a specific sexual fantasy he'd been having, starring some girl he'd seen in some film, getting . I kept telling him I didn't want to do it and he kept nagging me to write it...)
I used to post it to a newsgroup, and even years after I'd get odd emails from people who'd read it and liked it and got off on it. Suffice it to say, that really freaked me out! (There was even one guy who wanted to me write a story to match a specific sexual fantasy he'd been having, starring some girl he'd seen in some film, getting . I kept telling him I didn't want to do it and he kept nagging me to write it...)
Slight thread hijack and Host here putting in his oar again
Personal safewords (e.g. Mr-D's example of cauliflower, an old friend's use of egg-and-bacon) are fine BUT there is a universal, 'RED', that is recognised as the house safe word at serious players' bdsm clubs in the UK and even Belgium and Holland. (so now you know why the Host lives so close to the channel ferries!!!) RED is simple, easy to understand even through sobs and is the third component of the Traffic Light scheme, also wellknown in public play in the clubs referred to. The advantages the system has for SM can print across to any non-consent scenario.
For those who want to use it:
'Green' - rarely used, means 'happy to comply with the scene' and 'prepared to take this further' depending on context..........'Yellow' - I am enjoying the scene, but that particular activity is beyond my limits, desist and do something else....
'Red' - Stop the scene totally, not just the activity.
But safewords are only one half of the correct prep for a BDSM scene. Setting of Limtis via discussion (described as negotiation by some) are the other half. Clearly that should apply to a playrape scenario.
Hijack over.
But one more time I will decry the real abuse by force or coercion of anyone female or male as a heinous crime.
The Kent Host
Personal safewords (e.g. Mr-D's example of cauliflower, an old friend's use of egg-and-bacon) are fine BUT there is a universal, 'RED', that is recognised as the house safe word at serious players' bdsm clubs in the UK and even Belgium and Holland. (so now you know why the Host lives so close to the channel ferries!!!) RED is simple, easy to understand even through sobs and is the third component of the Traffic Light scheme, also wellknown in public play in the clubs referred to. The advantages the system has for SM can print across to any non-consent scenario.
For those who want to use it:
'Green' - rarely used, means 'happy to comply with the scene' and 'prepared to take this further' depending on context..........'Yellow' - I am enjoying the scene, but that particular activity is beyond my limits, desist and do something else....
'Red' - Stop the scene totally, not just the activity.
But safewords are only one half of the correct prep for a BDSM scene. Setting of Limtis via discussion (described as negotiation by some) are the other half. Clearly that should apply to a playrape scenario.
Hijack over.
But one more time I will decry the real abuse by force or coercion of anyone female or male as a heinous crime.
The Kent Host
Orgasminator
Quote by TONNEDGIZ
Hi everyone
It has been something that I have been thinking about after reading an article in a men's magazine. It said that a large majority of women fantasise about non-consensual sex. Is this true and what do you fantasise about?
Yes it is true along with what others have said before me. It is a welcome respite from lying on the bed with a man who keeps asking 'what do you want me to do?' It is like crying out in desperation 'For heavens sake, use your imagination!'
As for what we fantasise about, I am sure it is no different that what men fantasise about only the roles are reversed.
I ended up banning a guy from a forum elsewhere because he linked to a personal site which he wrote fantasy stories about statutory , snuff scenes, adult , and . As he was a new member I triedvery carefully to be open-minded about fantasy only scenarios, and thought perhaps we should just ask him to remove the link........until we took on board that not only was he not socialising on the main board, but was actually PMing some of the more vunerable members of the site, in a friendly manner, but it just seemed too dodgy.......
It was whilst I was researching sexual deviancy to address this, I found this place! :mrgreen:
Venusxxx
It was whilst I was researching sexual deviancy to address this, I found this place! :mrgreen:
Venusxxx
Sex God
Quote by poniella
I think it's a myth that so many women fantasise this and reckon it's more likely a male fantasy. But I may be wrong...
Do some women fantasise about this kind of thing? Yeah I'm sure they do, but, I am also sure that if they did have these kind of fantasies that they would keep them close to their chest. I know I certainly wouldn't put a post on an internet site because I simply don't know who is reading and what could happen.
With this kind of thing I deffinately think it's a safety first issue and maybe that's why not many women talk about this kind of fantasy.
Quote by outdoorfun
And still 'on-topic' : there are plenty of guys around who might enjoy the tables being turned in some way - but I'm not sure I fancy being chased through the local woodlands by my gf with a scary strap-on shining in the moonlight - but, there again ...........
HEY! You stole my fantasy for a post! Curse you!
Quote by Tania
Yes it is true along with what others have said before me. It is a welcome respite from lying on the bed with a man who keeps asking 'what do you want me to do?' It is like crying out in desperation 'For heavens sake, use your imagination!'
Consider also, however, that the very act of asking this might well be a silent plea for domination on their part... The need to be "told" what to do is a fundamental aspect of male submission, IMHO, since it is seldom that a man such as myself (6'2 and large built) encounters a lady with adequate physical properties to dominate him bodily.
Just a thought... I've been guilty of asking that myself, you see...
Do women fantasise about non-consentual sex? Well I'm a woman and I do, so the answer can only be yes; I can see from the replies to this thread that I'm not alone. However, what has to be remembered is that a fantasy is just that, imaginary, and nothing more. There are some fantasies that people will never truly be able to act out, and I believe to be one of these. Whether verbal consent is given during play or not, to act it out it would have to be discussed at some point, and it could never truly be classed as , especially with it being the woman's idea in the first place.
In answer to the question 'What do you fantasise about?' it is more than the old school stereotype - 'stranger in a dirty mac pulling you into a back alley'. My fantasies generally consist of me teasing or flirting with my partner or a male friend and withholding sex to a point where they force themselves on me. I know that's what I'm trying to get them to do, but I am deliberately giving them the impression that they're forcing me. I would describe that as 'non consentual' though, rather than full on . There are others but that is the main one.
In reality, the only way to act out those kind of fantasies, as I mentioned before would involve discussing it with my partner, but for me that removes part of the fun. Although, as a natural submissive I do prefer to include elements of force and punishment anyway, and I imagine that these fantasies are just an extension of this.
I'd just like to add: In no way am I condoning , I have a close friend who was a victim and I've seen first hand the devastating effect it can have. I think, as with all slightly unusual fantasies, as much communication as possible is the key if you're going to experiment with it.
In answer to the question 'What do you fantasise about?' it is more than the old school stereotype - 'stranger in a dirty mac pulling you into a back alley'. My fantasies generally consist of me teasing or flirting with my partner or a male friend and withholding sex to a point where they force themselves on me. I know that's what I'm trying to get them to do, but I am deliberately giving them the impression that they're forcing me. I would describe that as 'non consentual' though, rather than full on . There are others but that is the main one.
In reality, the only way to act out those kind of fantasies, as I mentioned before would involve discussing it with my partner, but for me that removes part of the fun. Although, as a natural submissive I do prefer to include elements of force and punishment anyway, and I imagine that these fantasies are just an extension of this.
I'd just like to add: In no way am I condoning , I have a close friend who was a victim and I've seen first hand the devastating effect it can have. I think, as with all slightly unusual fantasies, as much communication as possible is the key if you're going to experiment with it.
Orgasminator
Quote by EasyTeep
The need to be "told" what to do is a fundamental aspect of male submission, IMHO, since it is seldom that a man such as myself (6'2 and large built) encounters a lady with adequate physical properties to dominate him bodily.
Just a thought... I've been guilty of asking that myself, you see...
You haven't met me yet, that's why :P
I think the subject is fascinating. If a man took me out to dinner and had the cheek to order the wine without consulting my opinion he would probably be wearing it. If he tried to cop a feel in the taxi he would get a cold shoulder. But back at his place or mine if I was not pinned to the sofa having my clothes ripped off before the coffee had time to go cold I would count the date a total washout.
But I am aware of a contradiction: if I do not want the guy I want him to stop trying to get into my knickers, if I do want him I want him to tear them off without asking. I am not at all surprised some men get the wrong signals. But if I say no I mean it, but if I say "I am not sure" I am telling him I want him to be sure!
But I am aware of a contradiction: if I do not want the guy I want him to stop trying to get into my knickers, if I do want him I want him to tear them off without asking. I am not at all surprised some men get the wrong signals. But if I say no I mean it, but if I say "I am not sure" I am telling him I want him to be sure!
Orgasminator
Nice one Sal! 
If you watch old movies .....the male is always the dominant character.....he is always the one who roughly grabs the leading lady....she of course is fighting him off but he does not give in until she surcomes to his way.....so in a way he is forcing himself on her without her consent.....how would you class this?
Quote by Spitfire_Sal
I think the subject is fascinating. If a man took me out to dinner and had the cheek to order the wine without consulting my opinion he would probably be wearing it. If he tried to cop a feel in the taxi he would get a cold shoulder. But back at his place or mine if I was not pinned to the sofa having my clothes ripped off before the coffee had time to go cold I would count the date a total washout.
But I am aware of a contradiction: if I do not want the guy I want him to stop trying to get into my knickers, if I do want him I want him to tear them off without asking. I am not at all surprised some men get the wrong signals. But if I say no I mean it, but if I say "I am not sure" I am telling him I want him to be sure!
Ordering wine without consultation is absolutely deplorable!!!Any man that dose that deserves to be wearing it!!
Well I guess its a female thing, but I know I would not struggle for long if Cary Grant grabbed me! 
I know its difficult, my other half complains about it, he is not the dominating type but he knows I like it, he will not play my fantasies because he is worried he will go too far, we tried it using a safe word once and it was hopeless, he kept asking me if I remembered it while spanking me and eventually I got really pissed off.
When we first started going out back when Elvis was slim (and so was I) nothing happened for ages, the men I had known prior to him had been a lot older, married and just out for what they could get, I was expecting similar treatment, park up somewhere quiete, a quick struggle (I had this idea that nice girls had to put up resistance or else she was a slut) then I would be pinned and the fun would start.
Never happened, oh sure we parked up, we would kiss, he would make a smooth move for boob or suspender and I would push him away, then to my frustrated annoyance he would give up and drive me home. Grrr.
In the end I had decided to dump him, but not until after my birthday, I wanted my present! Well he bought me the beautiful nightdress, real silk, sexy, wonderful. We were in my room when I unwrapped it with parents out of the way. Predictably he suggested I try it on to see if it fit (Come on guys, how about some original lines!). I refused and suggested he wear it himself if he was so keen to have someone parade about in it. He got annoyed as intended, I meant to cause a row to make the breakup nice and easy. Well the row got out of hand, seems he had a lot of pent up frustration too, at some point I grabbed his hair with both hands and attempted to yank it all out, he got free but I went for him again and he grabbed my wrists and tied them up with the cord off the window blind.
He backed off and there we were in this odd sudden calm, I was stretched up onto my toes, my arms up high near the top of the window, the thin cord cutting in painfully. He was panting and pulling his clothes back into order, I was aware I was dischevelled, blouse pulled out of my skirt, tights laddered (I had given up wearing stockings to our dates, no point). He said he was going to leave me like that, but I pointed out if he did my Dad would find me and come after him with an axe. He tried to get me to promise not to attack him again if he untied me but I would not, my wrists were hurting and I wanted to pass that pain on.
So he stepped up to me and unbuttoned the top button on my blouse. "Promise" he demanded. I shook my head, I could not speak, I was afraid my voice would just be a squeak, things were suddenly turning very interesting indeed. Next button, "Promise" shake of head, another button, another demand. Now he hesitated, looking down I could see he had exposed my bra and a lot of cleavage, screwing himself up he undid the next button and the blouse fell open. Now he looked worried.
"I just wanted you to try on the damn nightdress," he grumbled.
"Make me!" I whispered, and after that the date finally got hot!
I know its difficult, my other half complains about it, he is not the dominating type but he knows I like it, he will not play my fantasies because he is worried he will go too far, we tried it using a safe word once and it was hopeless, he kept asking me if I remembered it while spanking me and eventually I got really pissed off.
When we first started going out back when Elvis was slim (and so was I) nothing happened for ages, the men I had known prior to him had been a lot older, married and just out for what they could get, I was expecting similar treatment, park up somewhere quiete, a quick struggle (I had this idea that nice girls had to put up resistance or else she was a slut) then I would be pinned and the fun would start.
Never happened, oh sure we parked up, we would kiss, he would make a smooth move for boob or suspender and I would push him away, then to my frustrated annoyance he would give up and drive me home. Grrr.
In the end I had decided to dump him, but not until after my birthday, I wanted my present! Well he bought me the beautiful nightdress, real silk, sexy, wonderful. We were in my room when I unwrapped it with parents out of the way. Predictably he suggested I try it on to see if it fit (Come on guys, how about some original lines!). I refused and suggested he wear it himself if he was so keen to have someone parade about in it. He got annoyed as intended, I meant to cause a row to make the breakup nice and easy. Well the row got out of hand, seems he had a lot of pent up frustration too, at some point I grabbed his hair with both hands and attempted to yank it all out, he got free but I went for him again and he grabbed my wrists and tied them up with the cord off the window blind.
He backed off and there we were in this odd sudden calm, I was stretched up onto my toes, my arms up high near the top of the window, the thin cord cutting in painfully. He was panting and pulling his clothes back into order, I was aware I was dischevelled, blouse pulled out of my skirt, tights laddered (I had given up wearing stockings to our dates, no point). He said he was going to leave me like that, but I pointed out if he did my Dad would find me and come after him with an axe. He tried to get me to promise not to attack him again if he untied me but I would not, my wrists were hurting and I wanted to pass that pain on.
So he stepped up to me and unbuttoned the top button on my blouse. "Promise" he demanded. I shook my head, I could not speak, I was afraid my voice would just be a squeak, things were suddenly turning very interesting indeed. Next button, "Promise" shake of head, another button, another demand. Now he hesitated, looking down I could see he had exposed my bra and a lot of cleavage, screwing himself up he undid the next button and the blouse fell open. Now he looked worried.
"I just wanted you to try on the damn nightdress," he grumbled.
"Make me!" I whispered, and after that the date finally got hot!
Orgasminator
Quote by Spitfire_Sal
"I just wanted you to try on the damn nightdress," he grumbled.
"Make me!" I whispered, and after that the date finally got hot!
What a wonderful account! Thanks for putting a smile on my face! Quote by TONNEDGIZ
Hi everyone
It has been something that I have been thinking about after reading an article in a men's magazine. It said that a large majority of women fantasise about non-consensual sex.
I don't know about a "large majority", but I understand that some kind of domination/ fantasy is common, and was acknowledged (occasionally with embarrassment) even by feminists I knew. I think Freud (Sigmund, not Clement!) picked up on it in his work. The important point to make, though, whether or not this is the case, is that it's fantasy, and sexual fantasy should always have zero contact with reality, IMHO. Never the twain should meet.
There are some good passages in Iain M Banks' book "Complicity", a rattling good read in itself, on just this topic. The central character and his married mistress carry out a series of kinky role-playing assignations, which are both arousing and funny. I certainly understood how a bloke could get something out of being tied up, dominated and teased after reading it, although I still wouldn't fancy it myself.
I wonder: how many blokes fantasise about non-consensual sex acted out on them, by women or men? Answers on a postcard please...
Mr Licks
Don't all men? I know mine does. We were both a bit hung up on discussing things until the first time we actually accidently swapped partners (how do you accidently swap? Well I mean unplanned, and sort of we were not consulted, but that is another tale)
After that we found we could discus things very openly and he admitted to a long standing fantasy to being by a woman with a strapon. At first I was very shocked, thinking it meant he was gay or something, but since have found out it is a very common male fantasy, though when actually presented with the actual thing in the bedroom most promptly bolt.
But even if they are not into that extreme what man does not like the woman on top occasionally, holding down his arms and riding him hard. I also find men like what I call "Reverse Missionary" where I lie on top of him between his legs and have him wrap them around me. You do not have to dress up in leather and carry a whip to play domination games.
After that we found we could discus things very openly and he admitted to a long standing fantasy to being by a woman with a strapon. At first I was very shocked, thinking it meant he was gay or something, but since have found out it is a very common male fantasy, though when actually presented with the actual thing in the bedroom most promptly bolt.
But even if they are not into that extreme what man does not like the woman on top occasionally, holding down his arms and riding him hard. I also find men like what I call "Reverse Missionary" where I lie on top of him between his legs and have him wrap them around me. You do not have to dress up in leather and carry a whip to play domination games.
Quote by Spitfire_Sal
Don't all men? I know mine does. We were both a bit hung up on discussing things until the first time we actually accidently swapped partners (how do you accidently swap? Well I mean unplanned, and sort of we were not consulted, but that is another tale)
After that we found we could discus things very openly and he admitted to a long standing fantasy to being by a woman with a strapon. At first I was very shocked, thinking it meant he was gay or something, but since have found out it is a very common male fantasy, though when actually presented with the actual thing in the bedroom most promptly bolt.
Well, that's a very good question, and I'd be curious to know the answer. It's certainly not something straight men would talk about readily, but reading these fora it's plain that, like your bloke, quite a few blokes fancy being fucked, and I know some women quite fancy doing the fucking. I've certainly fantasised about getting a big dick up the jacksy, yet I've zero attraction to men and would never do this in real life, not least because I'd never trust a bloke that much. I'd certainly fancy a strap-on fuck, but I don't go for the domination angle, unless you consider the act of penetration one of domination which is a very dangerous and wrong road to go down. I've discussed this with my GF and she did once offer to get a strap-on and give me a seeing-to, but I could see that she was only suggesting it because she thought I'd like it, rather than her liking it herself, so I said don't bother. Plus the damn things are expensive! ;-)
However, I remember a feminist woman I went out with for 3 years (and who squirted like a firehose, btw), who a few times wondered aloud about how it would be to penetrate me. In those days I wouldn't have known a sex toy from a sink plunger, so the strap-on idea never occurred to me.
I remember seeing a porn flick while back, one of the Cumback Pussy series (though I can't remember which number), in which yer man, after the usual suck/fuck/anal sequence which is such a boring ritual in professional porn, lay on his back and was fucked by one of the women with a strap-on, who was plainly enjoying the role reversal. It made an interesting change.
But even if they are not into that extreme what man does not like the woman on top occasionally, holding down his arms and riding him hard. I also find men like what I call "Reverse Missionary" where I lie on top of him between his legs and have him wrap them around me. You do not have to dress up in leather and carry a whip to play domination games.
Oh yes! I go for both of those things. Hell, I'm a great believer in women on top, because a) I don't have to do much work, b) she's in control of her own pleasure, c) missionary makes me look like a hippo, and d) I get to have a good old fiddle. Similarly the old 'reverse missionary', as you call it, which I think my GF goes for because, with her legs closed, there's much more pleasurable friction, even though she doesn't get to move much. Nice to know others are into this sort of thing as well.
I agree with you that you don't need kit to be into domination games, but I'm not sure I agree that the acts you're referring to are in themselves dominatory, although plainly they can be. Mind you, perhaps I'm just a pussy-whipped bloke who's happy to be bottom dog :-)
So, any other blokes here into fantasies (on you, not by you)? One of my favourite fantasies, at my last place of work, was to be ordered onto my knees in front of four of my women colleagues (all very tasty ages from 20 to 50) standing in front of me stripped from the waist down, then told to pleasure each in turn with my mouth until each had come at least 3 times. And of course I'd not be allowed any 'relief' myself - it's a motivational thing, y'know ;-)
Oh yes. Yummy, yummy, yummy, slurp, squelch, drool :twisted:
Mr Licks
WELL I FOR ONE THOUGH DO NOT CONDONE THE REAL ABUSEIVE ORDEAL
LOVE THE FANTASY OF
my best one is a gang bang in a garage isuppose that makes me a lil weird then 
ops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:
but i do like it when a man is sooo masterful!!!!! and tugs my hair etc well i wont go into great detail ill leave it for you to work it out!
love pepps xxxxx
LOVE THE FANTASY OF
my best one is a gang bang in a garage isuppose that makes me a lil weird then
ops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: but i do like it when a man is sooo masterful!!!!! and tugs my hair etc well i wont go into great detail ill leave it for you to work it out!
love pepps xxxxx
