Quote by BIoke
Anyone for one of my home baked fruit scones?
x
Oooooo yes please. Can I have clotted cream and jam please?
Sex God
Oooooo yes please. Can I have clotted cream and jam please?
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Is it us, you or something else???
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Oooooo yes please. Can I have clotted cream and jam please?
Sex God
with hand whipped cream :twisted:
Warming the Bed
Sexysmilingeyes, we are sorry you feel its a cut paste, genuinely it wasn't.
We thank you all for your messages and advice, Mr Powers you said all websites are different, we agreed with you. Hence why we asked for advice / info / anything really about this site and if anyone could offer the advice as to why no repsonses or messages.
We have been given at lot of advice on how to search for "the elusive single bi fem" for which we are grateful, but we actually already do all this on this website.
Easy, we know its the biggest site, that is why we joined.
It is unfortunate that obviously people do cut and paste e-mail / messages on this site (as i am sure they do on others) to obtain "notches on bed posts" which we feel defeats the ethos behind swinging, maybe we are naive, in asking what we could do for a single bi fem, to make us more attractive and appealing to them.
We wanted advice from regulars / long term members obviously they know the site better than we do, up until the replies on this forum post, we didn't have the "complete negativity" towards the site. We had hope hence why we asked for advice, no body asked, if we had been to clubs. no one asked what kind of messages we send. We were treated as though we were honestly a bit thick, we were told to do stuff that we have already done and is apparent on our profile.
Again thank you for your help, advice and understanding on this matter.
x
We thank you all for your messages and advice, Mr Powers you said all websites are different, we agreed with you. Hence why we asked for advice / info / anything really about this site and if anyone could offer the advice as to why no repsonses or messages.
We have been given at lot of advice on how to search for "the elusive single bi fem" for which we are grateful, but we actually already do all this on this website.
Easy, we know its the biggest site, that is why we joined.
It is unfortunate that obviously people do cut and paste e-mail / messages on this site (as i am sure they do on others) to obtain "notches on bed posts" which we feel defeats the ethos behind swinging, maybe we are naive, in asking what we could do for a single bi fem, to make us more attractive and appealing to them.
We wanted advice from regulars / long term members obviously they know the site better than we do, up until the replies on this forum post, we didn't have the "complete negativity" towards the site. We had hope hence why we asked for advice, no body asked, if we had been to clubs. no one asked what kind of messages we send. We were treated as though we were honestly a bit thick, we were told to do stuff that we have already done and is apparent on our profile.
Again thank you for your help, advice and understanding on this matter.
x
Warming the Bed
Have we said we are miserable, no because thats not us, eager, enthusiastic and actually nice people, that is us.
Shame that you didn't get to see that, before you opted for approach you took and its a shame we asked for the advice.
Shame that you didn't get to see that, before you opted for approach you took and its a shame we asked for the advice.
Quote by Fantasyfull
We wanted advice from regulars / long term members obviously they know the site better than we do, up until the replies on this forum post, we didn't have the "complete negativity" towards the site. We had hope hence why we asked for advice, no body asked, if we had been to clubs. no one asked what kind of messages we send. We were treated as though we were honestly a bit thick, we were told to do stuff that we have already done and is apparent on our profile.
Again thank you for your help, advice and understanding on this matter.
x
Quote by Fantasyfull
We spend a fair amount of time constructing well worded, intelligent, witty (ish) messages, obvioulsy to catch there attention, but also to make them aware of who we are, that we have taken the time to read there profile, show we have respect for them and we have understood what they are looking for and yet we have NEVER had a response from anyone, not even a one line "your not what i want"!!!
didn't have to ask ,your first post explained your kind of messages...
as for clubs...you weren't asking about clubs,you were asking about where you could be going wrong on here.
Warming the Bed
Flower, we are sorry you found the forum posts to be aggressive and impatient. Unfortuntley we found the advice given is the stuff we have already done, we did inform people that we had done the things they suggested and they are detailed on our profile.
Please tell us, how would you suggest we get to know people? As our messages are not responded to. We don't send messages to people who are not looking for the same things we are.
This is why we posted to ask what else we could do, we are sure that if you or anybody didn't gat any feedback / responses from any message you sent you would question what was wrong and how you could re address it all, we had got to the stage where we did question this site, but instead of just giving we asked for advice..
That is what we tried to do. Unfortunatley it didn't work as we planned. To be told to do stuff that is already detailed on our profile felt as though it was standard info / advice to give out without knowing anything about us or even reading our profile.
Please tell us, how would you suggest we get to know people? As our messages are not responded to. We don't send messages to people who are not looking for the same things we are.
This is why we posted to ask what else we could do, we are sure that if you or anybody didn't gat any feedback / responses from any message you sent you would question what was wrong and how you could re address it all, we had got to the stage where we did question this site, but instead of just giving we asked for advice..
That is what we tried to do. Unfortunatley it didn't work as we planned. To be told to do stuff that is already detailed on our profile felt as though it was standard info / advice to give out without knowing anything about us or even reading our profile.
Warming the Bed
Mr Powers it was suggested by a number of people on this thread to attend clubs!
So we simply pointed out we already do.
So we simply pointed out we already do.
Quote by Fantasyfull
Mr Powers it was suggested by a number of people on this thread to attend clubs!
So we simply pointed out we already do.
then maybe you should have said that in your first post,so that when people gave you advice they wouldn't be telling you stuff you had already done...i think your problem is,you didn't like some of the answers so got on the defensive...there is no quick fix solution to your situation,but as you have mentioned in several posts,that you are more successful on other sites...the answer is quite clearly in front of you as what to do.
Sex God
I'm curious what answer you expected frome th question.
A) You say your profile etc is the same here as elsewhere.
So it can't be that.
B) You are (presumably) the same people on each site.
So it can't be that.
C) The sites/memebrs are different.
So it must be that.
What did you want - a bunch of people to post and say "Yes we are thoughtless, selfish people who don't respond to pms. Sorry".
I doubt anyone who doesn't bother to respond to pms would get into it on here.
We all get ignored, a fair number of us (holds hand up in shame) ignore some pms. If there is a solution I have no idea what it is.
A) You say your profile etc is the same here as elsewhere.
So it can't be that.
B) You are (presumably) the same people on each site.
So it can't be that.
C) The sites/memebrs are different.
So it must be that.
What did you want - a bunch of people to post and say "Yes we are thoughtless, selfish people who don't respond to pms. Sorry".
I doubt anyone who doesn't bother to respond to pms would get into it on here.
We all get ignored, a fair number of us (holds hand up in shame) ignore some pms. If there is a solution I have no idea what it is.
Warming the Bed
Sorry, we did think people would have seen the info on our profile when they looked.
Like we said when we tried to explain numerous times we had done they stuff people suggest, we got called aggressive, impatient, we didn't listen and we are defensive when in actual fact we just wanted to say we have done those things.
We never expected a solution to be given to us, as you said sites are different. We took the time to ask for help, but it would have been nice if people took the time to read the profile when they looked.
Obvioulsy if people are on more than one site they will notice the differences, hence why we asked for adviced on here!
Like we said when we tried to explain numerous times we had done they stuff people suggest, we got called aggressive, impatient, we didn't listen and we are defensive when in actual fact we just wanted to say we have done those things.
We never expected a solution to be given to us, as you said sites are different. We took the time to ask for help, but it would have been nice if people took the time to read the profile when they looked.
Obvioulsy if people are on more than one site they will notice the differences, hence why we asked for adviced on here!
Warming the Bed
sorry i don't presume the same people are on different sites, yes the profile details are the same.
No we didn't expect anything of the kind from the messages we sent.
We simply asked people who know the site better, what advice they could give us and tips tricks etc.
I really am sorry we asked, it has caused more issues than we would ever dream possible, all because we said we had done the stuff they suggested! Not defensive, not aggressive but true!
No we didn't expect anything of the kind from the messages we sent.
We simply asked people who know the site better, what advice they could give us and tips tricks etc.
I really am sorry we asked, it has caused more issues than we would ever dream possible, all because we said we had done the stuff they suggested! Not defensive, not aggressive but true!
Sex God
You've lost me. In your first post you specifically put "any advice welcome" and then objected to every bit of advice you were given. If it wasn't relevant so be it, but you got what you asked for. Advice.
OK so people hadn't read your profile, you didn't say they had to in order to reply. I excpect you've got all the advice you're going to get.
OK so people hadn't read your profile, you didn't say they had to in order to reply. I excpect you've got all the advice you're going to get.
To me from out set you sound like a couple who have been online over the weekend and not had any responses (again) and are getting a bit niggled .... after all you think your ok so why wouldn't people reply at least.
You vented your problem / annoyance / asked for advice.
Advice was given (the same as previously given so not getting at you just giving opinions)
You didnt like / agree with responses so got defensive after all you had done all that was suggested (not that the advisors knew that).
So what have we learnt - that you feel on other sites people respond even if its a no and that we (the collective) dont respond.
Conclusion - Get over it, live with it or don't and move on but moaning about the problem and now about the people giving the advice won't win you any replies.
Goodnight all x
You vented your problem / annoyance / asked for advice.
Advice was given (the same as previously given so not getting at you just giving opinions)
You didnt like / agree with responses so got defensive after all you had done all that was suggested (not that the advisors knew that).
So what have we learnt - that you feel on other sites people respond even if its a no and that we (the collective) dont respond.
Conclusion - Get over it, live with it or don't and move on but moaning about the problem and now about the people giving the advice won't win you any replies.
Goodnight all x
Warming the Bed
Yes we did ask for advice, on a spefic area, we obvioulsy should have made it clearer what advice guidance we were after. We did mention that earlier and we are sorry!
Sorry when you know people have looked at your profile, ywe presumed they had read it, which was our misunderstanding.
As we said we are sorry we posted the thread.
Sorry when you know people have looked at your profile, ywe presumed they had read it, which was our misunderstanding.
As we said we are sorry we posted the thread.
Warming the Bed
We are sorry you expect us to be that kind of couple, it is a shame that we asked or didnt exactly clarify how we wanted a bit of help with a site that we thought people knew a lot better.
Again thank you all.
Again thank you all.
You really want to know...your profile is nothing special,your pics are nothing special,your one of many 1000's of couples looking for that needle in a haystack "the single bi female"...you don't stand out,there is nothing in your ad or profile that makes you "the one to choose"...okay so your not getting any replies back...some possibilties have been explained to you but you don't seem to have taken that on board...get over it,lick your wounds or move on...but whinging about it is not the answer!
Warming the Bed
Final comment you will be pleased to know,
we have been told we are defensive, aggressive, impatient, moaning and basically ungrateful.
we did try and explain after the first comment that we had already done all the stuff people sugggested and yet people still offered the same advice, we have been critised for not detailing all that is on our profile in the forum thread and because we are on other sites we compared the responses and we got critised for that.
we are the ones that have now been slated for trying to explain yes we have done that, we didn't expect a "solution" we didn't want snide comments, we didn't expect to be judged as desperate people.
by repling to the post, answering the questions and commenting on things people said, we have been judged as these "awful" people who don't listen to anything, we are not hardened swingers, we have not been doing this for years, we are pure and simply a couple who wanted to fulfill our fantasties.
sorry if through our responses and reactions we has been gravely misunderstood.
we have been told we are defensive, aggressive, impatient, moaning and basically ungrateful.
we did try and explain after the first comment that we had already done all the stuff people sugggested and yet people still offered the same advice, we have been critised for not detailing all that is on our profile in the forum thread and because we are on other sites we compared the responses and we got critised for that.
we are the ones that have now been slated for trying to explain yes we have done that, we didn't expect a "solution" we didn't want snide comments, we didn't expect to be judged as desperate people.
by repling to the post, answering the questions and commenting on things people said, we have been judged as these "awful" people who don't listen to anything, we are not hardened swingers, we have not been doing this for years, we are pure and simply a couple who wanted to fulfill our fantasties.
sorry if through our responses and reactions we has been gravely misunderstood.
Warming the Bed
No we are a normal couple, on here for the same reason as you said the other 1000's people.
Why do people continually dissect peoples posts and challenged them? No wonder people are scared to post in the forum!
Fantasyfull - you don't have to justify yourself, you've replied to people posts in a polite manner - I'd have got well an truly piddled off by now!
Good luck and I hope you find what your looking for :smile:
Fantasyfull - you don't have to justify yourself, you've replied to people posts in a polite manner - I'd have got well an truly piddled off by now!
Good luck and I hope you find what your looking for :smile:
Sex God
Having been here for a little while and written to a number of people I too Have found that it is not unusual to recieve no reply.
One reason given in chat was that one couple had recieved so many respnses to their ad that they were simply overwhelmed, lucky them, and deleted a good many without reading them. Maybe the people they were looking for were in there, but we will never know. It also defeats the object of the ad too in my opinion.
Where people have responded to me with 'thanks but no thanks' I always respond to them thanking them for their consideration and taking the time to reply. Manners cost nothing.
I did once write to a mod here who was offering help but recieved no reply, perhaps they too were far too busy.
However there are a good few people here who do take the time to reply and one particular indivdual took quite some time to write to me over a particular matter and as a result I hold them in high regard and high esteem.
In conclusion life happens and you have to get on with it regardless of what it throws at you and don't let it get you down.
It was once said 'it's just another no one the path to that yes you seek'
One reason given in chat was that one couple had recieved so many respnses to their ad that they were simply overwhelmed, lucky them, and deleted a good many without reading them. Maybe the people they were looking for were in there, but we will never know. It also defeats the object of the ad too in my opinion.
Where people have responded to me with 'thanks but no thanks' I always respond to them thanking them for their consideration and taking the time to reply. Manners cost nothing.
I did once write to a mod here who was offering help but recieved no reply, perhaps they too were far too busy.
However there are a good few people here who do take the time to reply and one particular indivdual took quite some time to write to me over a particular matter and as a result I hold them in high regard and high esteem.
In conclusion life happens and you have to get on with it regardless of what it throws at you and don't let it get you down.
It was once said 'it's just another no one the path to that yes you seek'
Hi Fantasy!
Welcome to the forums
I don't like to see people that are new to the forums being treated the way you have, ok you might have sounded a bit miffed that you haven't had responses to messages, but I think people could go a little easier on you being a first time poster. You have apologised and people need to understand the written word is not always clear and we don't always come across in the way we mean.
The advice I would offer that works for us when looking for single men is use the chat rooms, there are area ones that people from certain area gather in, if not open us one yourself and get to know people, I wouldn't exclude anyone just because they don't live in your area, as you never know when they might.
I find the chat rooms are a better place to try and get to know people, don't get frustrated you will get some twits there, but as long as you are polite and respectful at all times you will soon get to know more people, there are some nice people here, it just takes time and patience to find them.
Welcome to the forums
I don't like to see people that are new to the forums being treated the way you have, ok you might have sounded a bit miffed that you haven't had responses to messages, but I think people could go a little easier on you being a first time poster. You have apologised and people need to understand the written word is not always clear and we don't always come across in the way we mean.
The advice I would offer that works for us when looking for single men is use the chat rooms, there are area ones that people from certain area gather in, if not open us one yourself and get to know people, I wouldn't exclude anyone just because they don't live in your area, as you never know when they might.
I find the chat rooms are a better place to try and get to know people, don't get frustrated you will get some twits there, but as long as you are polite and respectful at all times you will soon get to know more people, there are some nice people here, it just takes time and patience to find them.
well..geting back to orginal question. I think there is little differance in trying to meet a bi-female or anyone else. I am single male and there are 10 times more of us looking for meets. So we have same ratio problem.
I have found, that geting myself into the chat rooms, and showing I have a sence of humour etc is useful. Then attending the various socials across the site, shows people you are genuine, look like your picture and gives them a chance to chat to you.
I know this might sound a long winded way, but in the end i find does lead to good regular sexy freindships, rather that a just a one off fumble in the dark.
I wish you well in your search.
I have found, that geting myself into the chat rooms, and showing I have a sence of humour etc is useful. Then attending the various socials across the site, shows people you are genuine, look like your picture and gives them a chance to chat to you.
I know this might sound a long winded way, but in the end i find does lead to good regular sexy freindships, rather that a just a one off fumble in the dark.
I wish you well in your search.
Quote by anais
Why do people continually dissect peoples posts and challenged them? No wonder people are scared to post in the forum!
Fantasyfull - you don't have to justify yourself, you've replied to people posts in a polite manner - I'd have got well an truly piddled off by now!
Good luck and I hope you find what your looking for :smile:
Yes Anais I am guilty of doing that too. But the op's original intention was quite simple. It has now been turned into dissection of by the same people.
This site may well be the biggest out there and on that basis is likely to have the biggest ammount of dreamers and timewasters, blimey we have had a few of those tits.
Yes they are obviously niggled about the lack of replies, and people not replying to them.
The forums of late have been pretty shite in my view, and am not suprised when a genuine thread has been turned on it's head. As I have said yes I am guilty of that too on occasions, but can understand from something so simple to then turn into what it has become, why people don't post and why the forums have not got what it used to have.
I bet the op will not post anything else in this forum and that will be a shame, as I thought their original comments were quite honest ones, and they were just looking for some kind of advice, which has been given in some not very nice ways.
That is my take on it and bet ya I get it too as usual but....I am a bit more thick skinned than the op, and know how easily things can be twisted and turned on here.
Whatever the outcome I hope that have learned some valueable things from posting in the forums.
Quote by Mr-Powers
We do have to say that no we have not answered our own question, the initial post was regards to people simply not replying to messages!
i tell you why people don't reply back to others who have answered their ads...and its quite simple really,they don't want to offend with a "thanks but no thanks!"
on more than one occasion we have replied back to people saying "your not what we are looking for" or "thanks but no thanks!"...and they have taken that to heart and got arsey about it...like we are too good for them...perhaps we are...but sometimes its just less hassle to not reply back at all!
Quote by Mr-Powers
Mr Powers, On the other sites we are on, we have had never had a arsey reply from a thanks but no thanks, we have actually be thanked for simply repling and acknoweldging the message. We have been in clubs and said no and had no said to us, we understand it is part and parcel of the whole scene.
If your so happy with these other sites...why stick around here,every site works diffently...this is not a free site for most...and if you send a PM to someone,your going to have to be really worth a reply back because the other party has to pay to do so.
And for your information its not just this site you get arsey remarks from...we too get it from other sites,aswell as getting a thanks for replying back to them...Single bi-fems are the rarest things on any site...they also get the most replys to their ads...they can afford to be fussy or choosey or just cannot simply reply back to everyone.
Quote by Fantasyfull
Mr Powers, We find it disappointing that in the time we have been on the websites and in the swinging scene, your message is actually one of the worst we have every recieved
i offer them sound advice/opinion on their predicament...and i get this.
I stand by everything i said on here.
Sex God
Quote by Fantasyfull
.......... maybe we are naive, in asking what we could do for a single bi fem, to make us more attractive and appealing to them.......
I know someone (looks at Anais :huh: ) said that you'd had your posts dissected and I know I should know better, but I just wanted to pull this bit out of your post towards the bottom of page 2.
If I knew the answer to that I'd now be sat on a yacht off the coast of some tropical island sipping champagne and not sat here killing time until I go to work. There is no "one-size-fits-all" approach to attracting anyone.
I don't do meets. That's not what I'm here for. I'm quite happy with my fiance and we enjoy the social side of things.
However, over the last few years I have been propositioned by members who range from hard-core gay guys to single bi fems, usually on a pretty frequent basis.
I think what makes me stand out from others is that I try to inject my personality into anywhere I am, whether it be chat, forum or PMs.
What I'm trying to say is the way to move forward on here is not to hide your light under a bushel. PMs obviously aren't working for you, so try chat and, even though you've had a bad experience with the forums, stick with them. It does have it's moments and everyone involved gets a better feeling for others personalities. As your profile text says, you want to get to know the other party first and once you click with someone it usually leads to other things. ;)
One last thing and this is a constructive criticism, your profile text reads like you're selling a used car (sorry
) and your advert starts off with a whole bunch of negative stuff about how you've been unable to find a bi fem. It took me all my time to get to the end and I was making a point of reading it, so imagine if I was someone who was looking for a couple with a bit of flair and va-va-voom. I wouldn't be stopping there. I really do think that the principles of advertising do hold up here, mainly because of the huge number of people we have here. You'll get about 10 seconds to grab someones attention. If you don't then they've gone and it's nigh on impossible to get them back.Try being more upbeat. Keep sentences short. Use positive phrases, not negative ones. Get others to proof-read your ads for opinions.
Trawl the ads and "use" parts of others ads for inspiration (or just plain steal the funny bits ..... hey! Works for me
). Warming the Bed
We would like to say a BIG thank you to Anais, Mancunian, Theladyisaminx, Deancannock and Kentswingers777.
Writing a forum post is quite hard, as the written word can be misunderstood as mentioned by Theladyisaminx, it was genuine request, we were looking for advice / direction from people who have had success on this site. We are not completely new, neither are we totally naive as the few fantastically great people have realised.
Kentswinger777, we have a definatley learned a few things from this thread, we have taken on board all the comment both good and obviously not quite so good comments!, because we do respect others opinion, if we didn't we would have posted orginally!
At points through out last night whilst reading and commenting we did feel like deleting the profile and running for the hills BUT we have been given hope that not all the people on this site are out to berate, intimitate and dissecte others and for that as we said a BIG thank you to those people!
Thank you again, we will definatley keep smiling, keep searching and quite possibly grow that extra layer of skin .
xxx
Writing a forum post is quite hard, as the written word can be misunderstood as mentioned by Theladyisaminx, it was genuine request, we were looking for advice / direction from people who have had success on this site. We are not completely new, neither are we totally naive as the few fantastically great people have realised.
Kentswinger777, we have a definatley learned a few things from this thread, we have taken on board all the comment both good and obviously not quite so good comments!, because we do respect others opinion, if we didn't we would have posted orginally!
At points through out last night whilst reading and commenting we did feel like deleting the profile and running for the hills BUT we have been given hope that not all the people on this site are out to berate, intimitate and dissecte others and for that as we said a BIG thank you to those people!
Thank you again, we will definatley keep smiling, keep searching and quite possibly grow that extra layer of skin
.xxx
Quote by Fantasyfull
We would like to say a BIG thank you to Anais, Mancunian, Theladyisaminx, Deancannock and Kentswingers777.
Writing a forum post is quite hard, as the written word can be misunderstood as mentioned by Theladyisaminx, it was genuine request, we were looking for advice / direction from people who have had success on this site. We are not completely new, neither are we totally naive as the few fantastically great people have realised.
Kentswinger777, we have a definatley learned a few things from this thread, we have taken on board all the comment both good and obviously not quite so good comments!, because we do respect others opinion, if we didn't we would have posted orginally!
At points through out last night whilst reading and commenting we did feel like deleting the profile and running for the hills BUT we have been given hope that not all the people on this site are out to berate, intimitate and dissecte others and for that as we said a BIG thank you to those people!
Thank you again, we will definatley keep smiling, keep searching and quite possibly grow that extra layer of skin
xxx
To post on here you will need a lot more than just an extra layer.
My skin is thankfully thicker than a rhinos.
Sex God
Ok just a thought. Have you tried reverse psychology? You could try putting in your profile that your innundated with requests from bi-fems and that you've had enough now please could they stop. Worth a go?
Ok im sorry i'd best get off hadn't I
Seriously guys stick around anyway You got yourself a good three pager+ going on forums and thats in lean times. Methinks you'll do Ok in here :D
To those replies that you have had on here that seem a little too harsh and thoughtless to anyones sensitivities don't give them much thought and remember that your not unique on receiving them, most of us have at somepoint and still do. Its a learning curve and you soon get to just skip over those sort of replies.
Ok im sorry i'd best get off hadn't I
Seriously guys stick around anyway You got yourself a good three pager+ going on forums and thats in lean times. Methinks you'll do Ok in here :D
To those replies that you have had on here that seem a little too harsh and thoughtless to anyones sensitivities don't give them much thought and remember that your not unique on receiving them, most of us have at somepoint and still do. Its a learning curve and you soon get to just skip over those sort of replies.
Sex God
Quote by kentswingers777
......... quite possibly grow that extra layer of skin
xxx
To post on here you will need a lot more than just an extra layer.
My skin is thankfully thicker than a rhinos.
How about these....
:rascal: :rascal: :rascal: :rascal: :rascal:
