Have I a closed mind then, or am I simply stating my thoughts and opinions, which Is i believe what a forum is for.....
Do you know me from Adam?
Take your pick, go the way we are now and watch it get worse because it will and a whole lot so.
Or take a stand and do something, I'm not for one moment saying my thoughts are the only way to deal with it, but hey, somethings better than nothing.....
Out of interest, what do you suggest as a solution?
In answer to your question, I don't see it as a case of trust, so a child tries a drink in a friends bedroom, that's a world away from sticking a large peice of steel in another child isn't it? Children will experiment, i understand and am comfortable with that, my problem arises when they then decide to visit the concequences of that on another innocent party. Is it a normal thing to expect a child to want to rob, stab or kill another human being simply because they can? Is there an excuse for that, or as imho no excuse whatsoever.
On a personal level I trust my daughter as far as this, I know what she does when she goes out, I also know that she has respect, compassion and thought for others because she has been both taught and shown by her parents example. By the way, over 16 years, never an ounce of trouble.
I don’t think for one minute all bad parenting makes for bad children. Luckily some better their lives, I have friends that have grown up to be law abiding citizens.
They still have insecurities even in adulthood. They still feel a sense of no self esteem and question their self worth which they have difficulty with at times.
I have anger for parents that treat children in such a diabolic way they should be brought to justice and be punished. My point was just this in my op not all 16 year olds should be sent to prison for more torture.
Also I know there are parents out there doing their best by their children and still the child seems to have the upper hand.
I would not or could not ever let my child think they can get the upper hand over me sod what the pc brigade say about it. These are my children to bring up as loving caring and well adjusted adults and in doing so if punishment is deserved then punishment is given. Just to say I have three children a 17 year old boy and twins one of each 11. My 17 year old still has to be in bed by on college night’s home at 9pm if he doesn’t like the rules he is old enough to move out.
I do feel we can do more for our children from early ages by setting clear defined boundaries and explaining from as young as 2-3 the consequences of their actions.
To explain right from wrong, people are too scared for others to see at this age a child having a temper tantrum because a parent has said no to their wishes. I have worked for a large chain store for 18 years I saw parents give in to quieten the child to save embarrassment. If you move the boundaries then, you have lost the fight, the problems just get bigger the older the child.
A lot of children on our estate have been brought up with "paid for on benefits" perks. They see their parent/s having never worked, drinking, smoking and at home with all the electrical gadgets under the sun.
They never learn the value of taking part, earning or having good behaviour rewarded. Instead they become instant gratification mongrels, whose parents give them money to shut them up! When that's gone they look for other ways to get money and kicks.
Over the last 20/30 years the change in societal acceptance of violence has shifted, look at the use of bad language, violent films, violent computer games, they see criminals glorified and untouchable by the law! They see these people as role models sadly.
Instead of instilling good societal values in these kids, the authorities have put a ring fence around these kids, whilst their parents have capitalised on softer laws absolving them of their responsibilities.
Do I believe in jail for kids under 16? Damn right I do, however as someone else mentioned, it should be hard to do, no TV, no games, no computers, it should be a programme of worth, teach kids the value of learning a physical trade (even early on), teach them to provide for themselves, what they grow they cook and eat, get them into good physical fitness. qualifications, a sense of having a place in society.
It should be as such; get up have breakfast, spend 5 hours doing qualifications, GCSE's etc focus on the 3 R's, lunch, 5 hours of physical activity ranging from fitness, working in a garden/farm environment to grow and provide food, learning a trade etc, evening meal, and bed!
Problem with the kids round here is that they are in and out of the system, no one addresses the real problems with them and so they re-offend, they spread the word amongst their mates that it's cushy and so prison is no longer a punishment to be feared, I mean it even gets wiped off their record at 16!!!!
All I am going to say is that I had a horrific upbringing, exactly the same as my siblings did. They unfortunately turned out to be carbon copies of my parents; I on the other hand have carved out a very good life for myself.
If it is all down to upbringing, why am I not the same as the rest of my family?
Likewise, I have a friend who had an absolutely charmed childhood, they could not have asked for better parents and she is a credit to them, yet her brother is scum, for want of a better word.
) I had said parents can be summonsed or issued with a warrant of arrest to ATTEND court to hear their child/ward's sentence (oh and also I do know of cases where parents have been sentenced for not sending their kids to school).
Her mum was a really- really- nasty piece of work. I went to the house she grew up in recently, and saw the hole in the bathroom door her mum made when trying to knock it down. My friend had locked herself & little brother in there when her mum had tried to kill them with a carving knife. One of my friends classmates was killed in a car accident when she was about 11. My friends mum turned to her & said "I wish it had been you."
, methinks it's time to step away.
:lol:
to that
