Is swinging the last bastion of prejudice and discrimination

1 Jun 2010

Quote by Freckledbird
Its called, closet racism.
I cannot accept that one does not find another race of people attractive, i find all women attractive hispanic, white, polish, russian, thai, indian, black, im sure those white people and ladies that say oooh sorry no blacks or asians or whatever are the above, thats my opinion and the way i see it.
Its like i said, how can someone say they dont want to meet an asian person or black person but yet sit there tanning the hell out of themselves in the sun or sunbed with skin as dark as them lol, makes no sense.

It's called choice, or preference. People make choices for their own reasons. When it comes to being intimate, it's not for you or anyone else to decide that they are racist because they don't choose you. It might not be due to the colour of their skin; they might have objections due to someone's culture, whatever. Whether they like to get a suntan or not, is completely irrelevant rolleyes

Yet it also might be because of the colour of their skin. Especially if they are advertising as preferring black to white for a swing. OK it is a choice but it is based on colour and choosing one colour over another for humans means a prejudice.
I do agree the tanning point is a bit crap though smile

Good thought provoking stuff though

1 Jun 2010

Quote by Lost
Its called, closet racism.
I cannot accept that one does not find another race of people attractive, i find all women attractive hispanic, white, polish, russian, thai, indian, black, im sure those white people and ladies that say oooh sorry no blacks or asians or whatever are the above, thats my opinion and the way i see it.
Its like i said, how can someone say they dont want to meet an asian person or black person but yet sit there tanning the hell out of themselves in the sun or sunbed with skin as dark as them lol, makes no sense.

It's called choice, or preference. People make choices for their own reasons. When it comes to being intimate, it's not for you or anyone else to decide that they are racist because they don't choose you. It might not be due to the colour of their skin; they might have objections due to someone's culture, whatever. Whether they like to get a suntan or not, is completely irrelevant rolleyes

Yet it also might be because of the colour of their skin. Especially if they are advertising as preferring black to white for a swing. OK it is a choice but it is based on colour and choosing one colour over another for humans means a prejudice.
I do agree the tanning point is a bit crap though smile

Good thought provoking stuff though
I still don't think it's prejudice, choosing one skin colour over another. It's a preference. Doesn't necessarily mean you have anything against the race, just that you don't want to shag them.

1 Jun 2010

Quote by Freckledbird
Its called, closet racism.
I cannot accept that one does not find another race of people attractive, i find all women attractive hispanic, white, polish, russian, thai, indian, black, im sure those white people and ladies that say oooh sorry no blacks or asians or whatever are the above, thats my opinion and the way i see it.
Its like i said, how can someone say they dont want to meet an asian person or black person but yet sit there tanning the hell out of themselves in the sun or sunbed with skin as dark as them lol, makes no sense.

It's called choice, or preference. People make choices for their own reasons. When it comes to being intimate, it's not for you or anyone else to decide that they are racist because they don't choose you. It might not be due to the colour of their skin; they might have objections due to someone's culture, whatever. Whether they like to get a suntan or not, is completely irrelevant rolleyes

FB....fecking bang on the money.
:thumbup::thumbup:
Even if a white couple did not want to play with a black couple, it is total bollocks to then shout the race crap issue.
IF we did not want to play with black guys that would be our choice, and if someone called me a racist for not wanting to, they would get told in no uncertain terms to piss off.
Our choice !!
I can never imagine a " white " person shouting the race card if a black or Asian person did not want to play with them, why is it any different the other way around? dunno

1 Jun 2010

Quote by Freckledbird
Its called, closet racism.
I cannot accept that one does not find another race of people attractive, i find all women attractive hispanic, white, polish, russian, thai, indian, black, im sure those white people and ladies that say oooh sorry no blacks or asians or whatever are the above, thats my opinion and the way i see it.
Its like i said, how can someone say they dont want to meet an asian person or black person but yet sit there tanning the hell out of themselves in the sun or sunbed with skin as dark as them lol, makes no sense.

It's called choice, or preference. People make choices for their own reasons. When it comes to being intimate, it's not for you or anyone else to decide that they are racist because they don't choose you. It might not be due to the colour of their skin; they might have objections due to someone's culture, whatever. Whether they like to get a suntan or not, is completely irrelevant rolleyes

Yet it also might be because of the colour of their skin. Especially if they are advertising as preferring black to white for a swing. OK it is a choice but it is based on colour and choosing one colour over another for humans means a prejudice.
I do agree the tanning point is a bit crap though smile

Good thought provoking stuff though
I still don't think it's prejudice, choosing one skin colour over another. It's a preference. Doesn't necessarily mean you have anything against the race, just that you don't want to shag them.
So here's why would you(not meaning you as in you Fb btw) not want to shag them? It would be because of the colour of their skin in this case. so making a decision based on colour.
I don't disagree that its a choice what or who people do things with what IU do say is that it is one of those practices in which it is acceptable to discriminate it has to be as your choosing to pick one colour over another for sex.

1 Jun 2010

Quote by kentswingers777
Its called, closet racism.
I cannot accept that one does not find another race of people attractive, i find all women attractive hispanic, white, polish, russian, thai, indian, black, im sure those white people and ladies that say oooh sorry no blacks or asians or whatever are the above, thats my opinion and the way i see it.
Its like i said, how can someone say they dont want to meet an asian person or black person but yet sit there tanning the hell out of themselves in the sun or sunbed with skin as dark as them lol, makes no sense.

It's called choice, or preference. People make choices for their own reasons. When it comes to being intimate, it's not for you or anyone else to decide that they are racist because they don't choose you. It might not be due to the colour of their skin; they might have objections due to someone's culture, whatever. Whether they like to get a suntan or not, is completely irrelevant rolleyes

FB....fecking bang on the money.
:thumbup::thumbup:
Even if a white couple did not want to play with a black couple, it is total bollocks to then shout the race crap issue.<<< Not relevant in this discussion that i can make out
IF we did not want to play with black guys that would be our choice, and if someone called me a racist for not wanting to, they would get told in no uncertain terms to piss off. << an undisputed point as far as I can see
Our choice !!
I can never imagine a " white " person shouting the race card if a black or Asian person did not want to play with them, why is it any different the other way around? dunno

Again not relevant in this discussion 777 that i can make out

2 Jun 2010

Quote by skanders
Its called, closet racism.
I cannot accept that one does not find another race of people attractive, i find all women attractive hispanic, white, polish, russian, thai, indian, black, im sure those white people and ladies that say oooh sorry no blacks or asians or whatever are the above, thats my opinion and the way i see it.
Its like i said, how can someone say they dont want to meet an asian person or black person but yet sit there tanning the hell out of themselves in the sun or sunbed with skin as dark as them lol, makes no sense.

I was wondering when the race card would be played in this debate to try to trump the self-choice that remains a fundamental right when choosing someone to be with, whether they are a life partner or someone to have five minutes of fun with. It's got nothing to do with a suntan either so please don't tar free-thinkers with your closet racist brush.
And on another thread you were bemoaning why you don't get many meets dunno

2 Jun 2010

Quote by swcpl2005
Its called, closet racism.
I cannot accept that one does not find another race of people attractive, i find all women attractive hispanic, white, polish, russian, thai, indian, black, im sure those white people and ladies that say oooh sorry no blacks or asians or whatever are the above, thats my opinion and the way i see it.
Its like i said, how can someone say they dont want to meet an asian person or black person but yet sit there tanning the hell out of themselves in the sun or sunbed with skin as dark as them lol, makes no sense.

I was wondering when the race card would be played in this debate to try to trump the self-choice that remains a fundamental right when choosing someone to be with, whether they are a life partner or someone to have five minutes of fun with. It's got nothing to do with a suntan either so please don't tar free-thinkers with your closet racist brush.
And on another thread you were bemoaning why you don't get many meets dunno

Obviously he must use his colour as the reason, hence why he sounds hacked off.
Maybe it has nothing to do with that at all....maybe they just do not like the look of him.....simples.

2 Jun 2010

Quote by willxx69
I'm thinking about going to the toga party next Thursday. I'm not especially a "BBW admirer" as such. I have no strong feelings either way as it depends entirely on how well I click with a particular individual. However, there are one or two people going who I particularly want to meet. I would love Sappho to come with me if she wanted to. She is the total opposite of a BBW - but I am sure she would be made welcome.
Will

you would both be made very welcome would be great to meet you both so go grab a sheet n drop me a line so i can add ya to the guest list
:bounce:

2 Jun 2010

Quote by Kaznkev

I'm thinking about going to the toga party next Thursday. I'm not especially a "BBW admirer" as such. I have no strong feelings either way as it depends entirely on how well I click with a particular individual. However, there are one or two people going who I particularly want to meet. I would love Sappho to come with me if she wanted to. She is the total opposite of a BBW - but I am sure she would be made welcome.
Will

you would both be made very welcome would be great to meet you both so go grab a sheet n drop me a line so i can add ya to the guest list
:bounce:
ohhh,someone with intelligence coming,i may have someone to talk to in the corner : )
oi
i could fall out with you fast at this rate cheeky bugger smackbottom

2 Jun 2010

Quote by Islandcpl1
I believe that everyone should have the right to choose no matter what the choice, be it intimate or not. And, I also believe that we all have the right to "decide" if someone is prejudiced or not including those who choose to be intimate with someone or not, 'simply' or 'only' on the grounds of colour, size or age etc.

Of course you, like everyone else, have a right to decide what your opinion is. That almost everyone in this thread disagrees with that opinion doesn't make it any less valid to you. However it seems that you are unable to understand the difference between prejudice and preference and believe that those who express a preference are, by definition, prejudiced.

Quote by Islandcpl1
If it is a closet choice? Why is it a closet choice? Perhaps because it is'nt socialy acceptable and therefore kept in the closet? And if this is the case is'nt looking the other way and doing or saying nothing as people make that choice, tantamount to accepting the legitenacy of people to make a socialy unacceptable choice?

Prejudice is socially unacceptable, preference is not socially unacceptable. If you accept that there is a difference then the answer to that question is no, of course it isn't.

Quote by Islandcpl1
I get back to my original question. Is the swinging scene the last bastion of prejudice and discrimination?

No it is not. Luckily it isn't a bastion of ridiculous political correctness either. The scene attracts those who do not see social acceptability as the be all and end all, if they did they wouldn't be swingers. They make up their own minds what is acceptable and how they prefer to live their lives. They accept that others don't share their preferences and don't label vanillas as prejudiced just because they prefer not to swing. Ring any bells?

2 Jun 2010

Quote by skanders
Times change, intelligent racists know do exist, theres more clever less blatant ways of being racist.

It's not your colour thats unattractive Skanders, it's that huge chip on your shoulder.
*Her*

2 Jun 2010

Quote by skanders
Times change, intelligent racists know do exist, theres more clever less blatant ways of being racist.

Start a new thread and elaborate then,
We all know racism exists I don't think anyone disputes that. What is damn certain though is that there is less of it now than ever before. Not in my household will I ever entertain racism but it will be discussed whenever a question is raised. This country of ours Britain is more accepting of differences than any other in the world I believe and will as it should and needs to always strive towards that goal. We know there is unfairness and inequality but it is getting less everyday that passes.
Is this how it stands could someone tell me please/
It's OK to swing with a preference to skin colour as its a choice it's not saying that there are any anti social feelings about colour just that aestetically for that individual that's what they prefer. Just as they would paint the hallway of their house a colour they chose.
I don't even pretend to understand it as I for one think i would base my swing on meeting the person and enjoying them regardless of the colour of their skin.

2 Jun 2010

Quote by skanders
Times change, intelligent racists know do exist, theres more clever less blatant ways of being racist.

What a load of old tosh.
Seems to me you have had a bit of a let down through swinging and have used that old cookie...." the race card ".
Rejection has nothing to do with the colour of your skin, and I would say listening to your rabble talk on here, there will be even less people that will want to meet you. We would not want to meet anyone like you in a month of Sundays.
I think you need to accept that rejection happens in swinging....get used to it.
Oh and btw....I think you have more than one chip on your shoulder, in fact I think you have all these on them.

2 Jun 2010

Quote by skanders
Its called, closet racism.
I cannot accept that one does not find another race of people attractive, i find all women attractive hispanic, white, polish, russian, thai, indian, black, im sure those white people and ladies that say oooh sorry no blacks or asians or whatever are the above, thats my opinion and the way i see it.
Its like i said, how can someone say they dont want to meet an asian person or black person but yet sit there tanning the hell out of themselves in the sun or sunbed with skin as dark as them lol, makes no sense.

Neither does this post by you.
It's perfectly possible for an individual's preferences to be shaped by racial stereotypes even while the individual isn't themselves racist - hence the idea that all black guys are well hung bulls who know how to treat a woman. Now some people will undoubtedly tell me that they base their preference on experience, but there's a hell of a lot of literature out there, especially from the US, that makes clear that there are political tensions and stereotypes underpinning the preference for some people as well. I know of no evidence that black men do have big cocks or more stamina, but it presses buttons for a significant number of women.
But at the end of the day it's only a preference, not a qualification. If someone doesn't fancy large slightly balding white guys in their forties I don't scream discrimination, I just move on.
BTW, the fact that you say you find all women attractive may not make the search for a partner harder for you; it doesn't make a woman feel especially valued if you tell her that as well as fancying her, you fancy Hilary Clinton, Mother Teresa. Margaret Thatcher and so on.

2 Jun 2010

If she has a pulse springs to mind.
bolt

2 Jun 2010

Quote by couplefunuk
Times change, intelligent racists know do exist, theres more clever less blatant ways of being racist.

It's not your colour thats unattractive Skanders, it's that huge chip on your shoulder.
*Her*
Spot on.

Quote by Lost

It's OK to swing with a preference to skin colour as its a choice it's not saying that there are any anti social feelings about colour just that aestetically for that individual that's what they prefer. Just as they would paint the hallway of their house a colour they chose.
I don't even pretend to understand it as I for one think i would base my swing on meeting the person and enjoying them regardless of the colour of their skin.

I completely agree with your last comment (in bold), Lost. But whether or not we'd do it that way, is irrelevant - people can choose who they'd like to swing with, using whatever criteria suit them.

Quote by Islandcpl1
Then why if a person outside of the scene is considered to be prejudiced when he/she chooses not to mix with socialy or otherwise a person of a different colour? But yet within the scen its deemed to be a choice?

I don't think that choosing not to mix socially with any particular group, would make someone prejudiced. It's still a choice.

2 Jun 2010

Quote by Islandcpl1
I get back to my original question. Is the swinging scene the last bastion of prejudice and discrimination?

No it isnt, it is what others have said, it is about personal choice about who we have recreational sex with, whether that person be short, tall, fat, thin, male, femal, black, white or any shade inbetween. It is about having sex with people who we find attractive.
I cannot find someone attractive or otherwise just because they are a certain colour or size, however, I do not play with couples, so am I discriminating. My husband does not find men physicaly attractive and does not want to have sex with them. Is he discriminating?
Also, a lot of the socials you have quoted could well be set up so that people can meet 'potential' playmates. If that is the case, then why invite people who you know you are not attracted to, or who you would not want to play with?
Have you also considered that some people play with others of a certain race, colour, age etc as a fantasy, not because they are the only people they find attractive or because they are necesarily predjudice against others?

2 Jun 2010

Quote by kentswingers777
If she has a pulse springs to mind.

You could be right.
Feel free to frame this post.

2 Jun 2010

In swinging, unless you shag anything that moves, you will always be predjudiced or discriminatory to some degree. Islandcouple - tell me you have never turned anyone down who has approached you for any reason? Were they too young, too old, too thin, too fat, too ginger (or blonde or brunette), not ginger (or blonde or brunette) enough, you didn't like their personality, their looks etc, etc? Was that not discriminatory in some form?
I completely fail to see your arguement. It's as if we must have sex with any and everyone who approaches us for fear of offending and in what universe is that right or correct?
I have never dated nor wanted to, a man of colour. I have never met one I found attractive. Likewise, a man with ginger hair. Or one over the age of 50. Does this mean I was being discriminatory or that I have preferences? Where would you draw the line?
Was I being predjudiced? Slightly I guess, but completely without malice. It's my choice and last time I looked, I was free to make it.
I think whoever mentioned political correctness gone wrong had it spot on. There's really no need to make this about something that for most people, it's not.
*Her*

2 Jun 2010

Would someone like a new record to play??

2 Jun 2010

Quote by Gillianthe1st
Would someone like a new record to play??

If it's by the Average White Band things might go badly wrong....

2 Jun 2010

Quote by awayman
Would someone like a new record to play??

If it's by the Average White Band things might go badly wrong....
lol very very good....... we just seem to have these threads and they go round and round in circles....... cant please all of the people all of the time.

2 Jun 2010

Quote by Islandcpl1
If a person 'perminantly' refuses to play or socialise etc with another person 'soley' on the grounds that they are the wrong size, age, colour or any other reason they have to accept the fact that they are prejudiced.

It seems you have now added another factor to the discussion. The OP was playing with not socialising, not being friends with, etc.
If a person does not want to work, socialise, be friendly with another because of their colour then this I would agree with as having racist overtones.
Having sex with some one as you do not find them attractive is a preference.
Dave_Notts

2 Jun 2010

AAArrrrghhhhhhhhh someone find the bloody key please

2 Jun 2010

Quote by Gillianthe1st
AAArrrrghhhhhhhhh someone find the bloody key please

You wearing that chastity belt again...........I am a good lockpick :twisted:
Dave_Notts

2 Jun 2010

Quote by Gillianthe1st
AAArrrrghhhhhhhhh someone find the bloody key please

G major any good to you?

2 Jun 2010

Quote by Dave__Notts
AAArrrrghhhhhhhhh someone find the bloody key please

You wearing that chastity belt again...........I am a good lockpick :twisted:
Dave_Notts
Can you not use your teeth this time though please, oh and whilst I'm at it, what colour are you again?

2 Jun 2010

Quote by awayman
AAArrrrghhhhhhhhh someone find the bloody key please

G major any good to you?
Is that Major as in old army type person? if so then please no there so last year

2 Jun 2010

Quote by Kaznkev
What if you have a fetish for just that type of man, is that discrimination?

No Kaz thats whats called looking at art biggrin

2 Jun 2010

Scenario
A white couple swing with only white men because that is their preference.
They have met some swingles at a social who are both black and white and they like them both equally because of course they hold no prejudice. There comes a time after the social where there is the chance to play with one of these guys. They choose the white guy as its their preference not to play with the black guys.
Why did/was that decision made? What precluded the black guy as they've said they liked them equally.
OK, I know that people have a right of choice, of course they do and that is how things should be, however what thoughts go into that choice? Why was it decided to preclude the black guy? It was because he was black. A choice based purely on the colour of skin. a prejudicial choice against the black guybecause of it.
Nobody has given an answer that fully elucidates this "matter of choice" statement made to satisfy the basic why.
This is a good subject and though some may get the feeling it goes around in circles i for one think it does develop and go on to challenge our perceptions. Given that it doesn't descend into a nasty, which it hasn't so far.