The male teacher in a girls' school asked the science class:
>
"Who can tell me what organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated? Mary, can you tell me?"
Mary blushed furiously as she stood up. She said:
"Sir, how dare you ask such a question? I will complain to my parents,who will complain to the principal."
The male teacher was taken aback at first by Mary's reaction. Then, as
understanding dawned on him, he called for another pupil, this time a
volunteer. Lily put up her hand.
"Yes, Lily?"
"Sir, the correct answer is the iris of the eye."
"Very good. Thanks, Lily," said the male teacher.
He then turned to the 1st girl, who threatened to complain to her parents
and principal:
"Well, Mary, I have 3 things to tell you:
First, you have NOT done your homework.
Second, you have a DIRTY mind.
And thirdly, I fear, one day, you are going to be sadly disappointed."
Belated Xmas humour.......
Three men died and waited at the gates of heaven.....
"In honour of this holy season," Saint Peter said,
"you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into
heaven."
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He
flicked it on. It represents a candle, he said.
You may pass through the pearly gates Saint Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled
out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells". Saint Peter
said you may pass through the pearly gates.
The third man started searching desperately through
his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow
and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"
The man replied, "They're Carols".
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It's Friday!!
Here's a dilemma for you.... With all your honor and dignity what would you do?
This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. Please
don't answer it without giving it some serious thought. By giving an honest
answer you will be able to test where you stand morally. The test features
an unlikely, completely fictional situation, where you will have to make a
decision one way or the other. Remember that your answer needs to be
honest, yet spontaneous. Please scroll down slowly and consider each line - this is important for the test to work accurately.
You're in Florida...In Miami, to be exact.
There is great chaos going on around you, caused by a hurricane and severe floods. There are huge masses of water all over you. You are a CNN photographer and you are in the middle of this great disaster The situation is nearly hopeless. You're trying to shoot very impressive photos. There are houses and people floating around you, disappearing into the water.
Nature is showing all its destructive power and is ripping everything away
with it.
Suddenly you see a man in the water, he is fighting for his life, trying
not to be taken away by the masses of water and mud. You move closer.
Somehow the man looks familiar. Suddenly you know who it is-it's George W. Bush!
At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take him
away, forever. You have two options. You can save him or you can take the best photo of your life. So you can save the life of George W. Bush, or you can shoot a Pulitzer prize winning photo, a unique photo displaying the death of one of the world's most powerful men.
And here's the question (please give an honest answer):
Would you select color film, or rather go with the simplicity of classic
black and white?
This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. Please
don't answer it without giving it some serious thought. By giving an honest
answer you will be able to test where you stand morally. The test features
an unlikely, completely fictional situation, where you will have to make a
decision one way or the other. Remember that your answer needs to be
honest, yet spontaneous. Please scroll down slowly and consider each line - this is important for the test to work accurately.
You're in Florida...In Miami, to be exact.
There is great chaos going on around you, caused by a hurricane and severe floods. There are huge masses of water all over you. You are a CNN photographer and you are in the middle of this great disaster The situation is nearly hopeless. You're trying to shoot very impressive photos. There are houses and people floating around you, disappearing into the water.
Nature is showing all its destructive power and is ripping everything away
with it.
Suddenly you see a man in the water, he is fighting for his life, trying
not to be taken away by the masses of water and mud. You move closer.
Somehow the man looks familiar. Suddenly you know who it is-it's George W. Bush!
At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take him
away, forever. You have two options. You can save him or you can take the best photo of your life. So you can save the life of George W. Bush, or you can shoot a Pulitzer prize winning photo, a unique photo displaying the death of one of the world's most powerful men.
And here's the question (please give an honest answer):
Would you select color film, or rather go with the simplicity of classic
black and white?
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
I think we are missing the point here.
George Dubyah is the point.
The real question is whether he knew about this 'Weather of Mass Destruction' beforehand. It could be that it is all a CIA plot, designed to prove that predictions of this weather, made by top-secret military figures, were after all, completely accurate and justified. Moreover, there would be proof that this weather originated in the Middle East, and before too many centuries pass, proof of this would be found.
Without any shadow of a doubt, if you just left him alone, several squadrons of British aircraft would arrive, led by Tony Blair, and bomb away the banks to allow the river to subside. It would demonstrate the strength of the 'special relationship' between our great nations and prove beyond all doubt, that 'bombing the crap out of it' is the solution to all problems-especially if our boys go in first.
And don't worry about the pictures-they would have made them all up afterwards anyway.
The Blessed Tony himself would be filmed, dangling on the end of the rope ladder, and pulling from the swirling torrents, Mr Blunkett's dog, gamely swimming the river with a life-jacket between his teeth-biting a few asylum-seekers on his way. Once dried out, they would all don their stetsons and sit around a camp fire, eating beans and re-enacting the scene from 'Blazing Saddles'. Democracy would be safe-along with respective election prospects.
So, never fear, all is well in the world, for nothing is as it seems.
George Dubyah is the point.
The real question is whether he knew about this 'Weather of Mass Destruction' beforehand. It could be that it is all a CIA plot, designed to prove that predictions of this weather, made by top-secret military figures, were after all, completely accurate and justified. Moreover, there would be proof that this weather originated in the Middle East, and before too many centuries pass, proof of this would be found.
Without any shadow of a doubt, if you just left him alone, several squadrons of British aircraft would arrive, led by Tony Blair, and bomb away the banks to allow the river to subside. It would demonstrate the strength of the 'special relationship' between our great nations and prove beyond all doubt, that 'bombing the crap out of it' is the solution to all problems-especially if our boys go in first.
And don't worry about the pictures-they would have made them all up afterwards anyway.
The Blessed Tony himself would be filmed, dangling on the end of the rope ladder, and pulling from the swirling torrents, Mr Blunkett's dog, gamely swimming the river with a life-jacket between his teeth-biting a few asylum-seekers on his way. Once dried out, they would all don their stetsons and sit around a camp fire, eating beans and re-enacting the scene from 'Blazing Saddles'. Democracy would be safe-along with respective election prospects.
So, never fear, all is well in the world, for nothing is as it seems.
Come on Pervy..... it may be a mans life but it is also a JOKE see the surreal side Pervy and lighten up...
am certain that even the most hardened democrat would stretch out there hand to rescue the guy that has condemned so may to death when he was govenor for texas.... and has imprisoned so many for soi long without any hope opf justice...... and has allowed so many military personel and citizens of a third country to die in the prosecution of an unnecessary conflict...
but OK I forget
he is a human being..... we do that sort of stuff.....
Rant over returns to sill mode...
Gmanxxxx
am certain that even the most hardened democrat would stretch out there hand to rescue the guy that has condemned so may to death when he was govenor for texas.... and has imprisoned so many for soi long without any hope opf justice...... and has allowed so many military personel and citizens of a third country to die in the prosecution of an unnecessary conflict...
but OK I forget
he is a human being..... we do that sort of stuff.....
Rant over returns to sill mode...
Gmanxxxx
