Tell the people you love how you feel Sas, they will be the best people in the best position to help get your motivation back on track. Its amazing how just the odd softly spoken reminder can help you keep focus.
Peace
awwww hunny wish i could help you find it and put it back where it belongs
chin up sweetness
sometimes the only person who can restore it to its former glory is yourself but friends can support you while you find it again
hope it returns real soon :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose:
i think the best way often is a change of scenery, holiday, new job, move abroad, new friends. Read in sunday times about a guy in australia who was heartbroken when his wife left him - so he put everying he owned for sale on ebay, i mean the money to go travelling - his story is amazing - and inspiring - they are making a movie of his life ! Clear that life is not smooth preogression upwards - but will be lots of bumps - the thing is how one handles those bumps.
Sassy grief is a difficult one to get over, I had people close around me that cared, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell them when they asked how I was feeling that I felt like I was stuck in a place where I didn’t want to be, just going through the motions each day getting the bare minimum done that I could so all around me thought I was coping.
I was like you I had no motivation, but I had a 3 year old son I knew I had to get out of where I was, and find life again.
I think part of getting there is admitting things don’t feel right, it took me a year to one day wake up and feel I was back in a place I wanted to be, I believe it is all part of the grieving process, talking about it can always help.
It is winter to, you might feel a little better in spring.
Keep going things get easy as time goes on.
Thanks for your replies and pms guys and gals.
Thing is, I'm not feeling down in the dumps or sad. I'm still having a giggle and a flirt but everything seems so much of an effort.
I need a new ass kicker :grin:
I can relate to what you typed Sassy!
Its like when you look into your own eyes in the mirror, the usual spark in them is not there.
I am a firm believer of self help, but realise some need support from others.
When we in our family have lost that spark, we get ourselves out doors, drive to the country, look around at nature, hear the birds sing, listen to the peace of silence(!), look at the trees!
Borrow a dog, seeing them happy makes us happy!
Ponder on the good things that this world may have to over us.
All may sound silly, but works for us!
What ever, you take care, and get that mojo back soon!
Lucyspost
I lost my mojo ages ago, it think it is out shopping with yours sassy.
Maybe we should go and look for them together
Grieving takes time. A lot longer than people often imagine. But after a while it eases back and life comes into play again.
When my dad died (many many years ago now) I pictured my grief as a patch on a patchwork quilt. It was huge, and obscured most of the others - the other elements of my life. Gradually it shrank. It never went away, it's still there, along with my childhood measles and the year I hoped for a new bike.
As your grief settles down to being just a part of your life, not the main element, your mojo will naturally return. It's on one of the patches you can't see.
I think you identified the core problem - your friend WAS your mojo in many ways. Getting it back could feel (deep inside) a little like an acceptance of the loss - saying a final goodbye.
It isn't of course, and maybe giving yourself a good talking to might help - how your friend would love to see you bouncing again, how your life should be a celebration of his great influence on you.
My own personal belief (not to sermonise at all) is that our passed loved ones can see us now, and see how we live our lives and care about us as they did when they were still with us.
:therethere:
