Hi folks,
Just wondering if the more experienced people hereabouts would like to reveal something of the way the old 'green-eyed monster' has (or hasn't) impacted on their swinging lives. I bring this up as someone who so far has only had one meeting from this site (Hi, G and S!), and who found it highly satisfactory (G, you are a *phenomenon*! x ) -- but who then had to abandon any hope of meeting those people again because of Kerry's insistence that I didn't start seeing anyone who "lived so close to us"...
Y'see, it turned out that dear G and S, who responded to my ad because their situation agreed so closely with mine, lived literally *5 minutes drive* away from here... And even though passing up such a lovely opprtunity does seem to me to be a terrible waste, the particular details of my situation (which people can read about in my ad...) mean that I've agreed to do what Kerry asks. But with all due respect to my dear poppet, it really does seem that her reaction has nothing behind it except *jealousy*. She'd be happy if I was seeing a woman or a couple who lived *miles away*, but she doesn't want me messing with people nearby: she hates the thought that she and I might drive through their village every day; that they might easily be part of the 'world' that we currently live in; and that I might be able to just pop over there at a moment's notice...
I have to say, I'm a bit annoyed about this. But I'm very new to this game, and I'm wondering if anyone has any insight into this situation, and would like to make a helpful observation. I mean, jealousy is a pretty universal human response, isn't it...?
Thanks in advance for all thoughtful posts!
Bests,
Mark D.
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*Jealousy*: what do people witness or experience...?
Sex God
Errmm you don't say whether Kerry met G and S with you and, if so, what her reaction to it was. Pretty fundamental that!! If she wasn't with you then what's this all about then??
Sex God
Quote by Kerry's bloke...
Hi folks,
Just wondering if the more experienced people hereabouts would like to reveal something of the way the old 'green-eyed monster' has (or hasn't) impacted on their swinging lives. I bring this up as someone who so far has only had one meeting from this site (Hi, G and S!), and who found it highly satisfactory (G, you are a *phenomenon*! x ) -- but who then had to abandon any hope of meeting those people again because of Kerry's insistence that I didn't start seeing anyone who "lived so close to us"...
Y'see, it turned out that dear G and S, who responded to my ad because their situation agreed so closely with mine, lived literally *5 minutes drive* away from here... And even though passing up such a lovely opprtunity does seem to me to be a terrible waste, the particular details of my situation (which people can read about in my ad...) mean that I've agreed to do what Kerry asks. But with all due respect to my dear poppet, it really does seem that her reaction has nothing behind it except *jealousy*. She'd be happy if I was seeing a woman or a couple who lived *miles away*, but she doesn't want me messing with people nearby: she hates the thought that she and I might drive through their village every day; that they might easily be part of the 'world' that we currently live in; and that I might be able to just pop over there at a moment's notice...
I have to say, I'm a bit annoyed about this. But I'm very new to this game, and I'm wondering if anyone has any insight into this situation, and would like to make a helpful observation. I mean, jealousy is a pretty universal human response, isn't it...?
Thanks in advance for all thoughtful posts!
Bests,
Mark D.
Hi Mark.
Gut reaction because that's the only way I know how:
The way I read it, your lady is generously acknowledging your physical needs, and I think you need to acknowledge her emotional needs in return. She wants you for herself but can't give you all that you need so she's agreeing to you getting some of it elsewhere, and I think that's a very loving gesture on her part. But she doesn't want it on her doorstep, and I think that's perfectly understandable. For her it's a case of "out of sight, out of mind" - she accepts that you need to do your thing, but when you're not doing it with her, she doesn't want to be reminded of it. Is that jealousy? Maybe. Is it wrong? I don't think so. This woman clearly loves you to bits and is trying to let you do whatever you need to do to be happy, and she may not be feeling too great about herself knowing that she can't satisfy you in this one particular area of your relationship so she's doing the best she can to find a way round the problem. She can perhaps put it to the back of her mind to the extent that she's happy when you're actually together physically, but to be in close proximity to the other lady all the time would just be a constant reminder that she doesn't need.
If sacrificing a bit of travelling time would make her happy, I think that would be a small price to pay for the sacrifice she has made for you. Sounds to me like you have a partner who gives you great understanding and compassion, and it would be lovely if you could give it back.
I read your ad Mark and I have to say that it is a very well thought out and lovely ad. I wish you luck in finding what you are looking for....
With regards to your post, I have to say that despite the fact that Kerry has agreed to you seeking additional sexual satisfaction elsewhere, doing it right on your doorstep will be a little too close to home
I dont think its a matter of jealously but more to do with respecting Kerry...
Shireen
xxx
With regards to your post, I have to say that despite the fact that Kerry has agreed to you seeking additional sexual satisfaction elsewhere, doing it right on your doorstep will be a little too close to home
I dont think its a matter of jealously but more to do with respecting Kerry...
Shireen
xxx
Quote by Shireen_Mids
I read your ad Mark and I have to say that it is a very well thought out and lovely ad. I wish you luck in finding what you are looking for....
With regards to your post, I have to say that despite the fact that Kerry has agreed to you seeking additional sexual satisfaction elsewhere, doing it right on your doorstep will be a little too close to home
I dont think its a matter of jealously but more to do with respecting Kerry...
Shireen
xxx
Got to agree with Shireen here, I think your other half just has some limits, but look on the bright side she also has a very open attitude to life. Very few ladies would do this, I live in a mis-ballenced sex drive life, and no swinging at all would be allowed by Mrs TnH.
Now this is not a moaning post as I am happy with my life and family, and not looking to change it. Just to show you the other side of what your partner could easily be asking of you. Hey once a week would be heaven, sometimes we go more than a month (Thats what long hours and kids do to you) and I a 5 times a day guy as well.
So in this case take what she is offering, she obviously cares deeply for you, to chose sharing you than try and repress and maybe lose you. She has already gone a long way so think you will have to go with her on this.
Equally you post most eliquently, and your add is the same. Sure you will be getting some good replies very soon.
Good luck in the future.
TnH
Quote by tallnhairy
I read your ad Mark and I have to say that it is a very well thought out and lovely ad. I wish you luck in finding what you are looking for....
With regards to your post, I have to say that despite the fact that Kerry has agreed to you seeking additional sexual satisfaction elsewhere, doing it right on your doorstep will be a little too close to home
I dont think its a matter of jealousy but more to do with respecting Kerry...
Shireen
xxx
Got to agree with Shireen here, I think your other half just has some limits, but look on the bright side she also has a very open attitude to life. Very few ladies would do this, I live in a mis-ballenced sex drive life, and no swinging at all would be allowed by Mrs TnH.
So in this case take what she is offering, she obviously cares deeply for you, to chose sharing you than try and repress and maybe lose you. She has already gone a long way so think you will have to go with her on this.
Equally you post most eliquently, and your add is the same. Sure you will be getting some good replies very soon.
Good luck in the future.
TnH[/quote
What they said :thumbup:
there are probably millions of men (a few of em are on this site!) who would give their right arm to be in your shoes. You are very lucky to have a partner like Kerry. Respect her limits and GOOD LUCK!
Hi Mark,
I think you've got a lovely understanding partner who has just clearly set down the boundaries.
She's supporting you with your needs and I think respecting her wishes would be the best way you could show her how much her support means and how much she means to you.
My partner has very recently told me that he's no longer comfortable with me swinging, so until we can reach a compromise I've decided to take a back seat and respect his feelings.
On the flip side of that, he's Bi and wants to continue exploring opportunities ;)
I have no problem with this
, but something we've had to agree on is the boundaries.
If he came to me and told me he wanted to break them or had broken them, then I guess it could create problems
- (be warned Mr ES 
hehe ;))
In short, you obviously have a caring understanding partner, and by respecting her wishes you're showing her how much you care, understand and support her.
Kitty x
I think you've got a lovely understanding partner who has just clearly set down the boundaries.
She's supporting you with your needs and I think respecting her wishes would be the best way you could show her how much her support means and how much she means to you.
My partner has very recently told me that he's no longer comfortable with me swinging, so until we can reach a compromise I've decided to take a back seat and respect his feelings.
On the flip side of that, he's Bi and wants to continue exploring opportunities ;)
I have no problem with this
, but something we've had to agree on is the boundaries. If he came to me and told me he wanted to break them or had broken them, then I guess it could create problems
- (be warned Mr ES hehe ;))In short, you obviously have a caring understanding partner, and by respecting her wishes you're showing her how much you care, understand and support her.
Kitty x
Quote by Ice Pie
Gut reaction because that's the only way I know how:
The way I read it, your lady is generously acknowledging your physical needs, and I think you need to acknowledge her emotional needs in return. She wants you for herself but can't give you all that you need so she's agreeing to you getting some of it elsewhere, and I think that's a very loving gesture on her part. But she doesn't want it on her doorstep, and I think that's perfectly understandable. For her it's a case of "out of sight, out of mind" - she accepts that you need to do your thing, but when you're not doing it with her, she doesn't want to be reminded of it. Is that jealousy? Maybe. Is it wrong? I don't think so. This woman clearly loves you to bits and is trying to let you do whatever you need to do to be happy, and she may not be feeling too great about herself knowing that she can't satisfy you in this one particular area of your relationship so she's doing the best she can to find a way round the problem. She can perhaps put it to the back of her mind to the extent that she's happy when you're actually together physically, but to be in close proximity to the other lady all the time would just be a constant reminder that she doesn't need.
If sacrificing a bit of travelling time would make her happy, I think that would be a small price to pay for the sacrifice she has made for you. Sounds to me like you have a partner who gives you great understanding and compassion, and it would be lovely if you could give it back.
Hey, that's a super post! Thanks for taking the time to write it. You're absolutely right, of course: she doesn't want it 'on her doorstep', and that's quite reasonable. I was a bit teed off because, having found something good with nice people, I didn't want to give it up! (Which, in its way, is also quite reasonable!). But I'm okay now!
Thanks again for your thoughts!
With all good wishes,
Mark D.
Quote by Shireen_Mids
I read your ad Mark and I have to say that it is a very well thought out and lovely ad. I wish you luck in finding what you are looking for....
:-)
It's lovely of you to say so! Thanks! (People are all so *nice* round here - it's *amazing*!)
Quote by Shireen_Mids
With regards to your post, I have to say that despite the fact that Kerry has agreed to you seeking additional sexual satisfaction elsewhere, doing it right on your doorstep will be a little too close to home
Yes. I see that now.
Quote by Shireen_Mids
I dont think its a matter of jealously but more to do with respecting Kerry...
Yes.
She'll be back tomorrow night (her job takes her away a lot): I'll be laying on a few nice surprises for her to make sure she knows how appreciated she is!
Hugs to you,
Mark D.
Quote by tallnhairy
Got to agree with Shireen here, I think your other half just has some limits, but look on the bright side she also has a very open attitude to life. Very few ladies would do this, I live in a mis-ballenced sex drive life, and no swinging at all would be allowed by Mrs TnH.
Now this is not a moaning post as I am happy with my life and family, and not looking to change it. Just to show you the other side of what your partner could easily be asking of you. Hey once a week would be heaven, sometimes we go more than a month (Thats what long hours and kids do to you) and I a 5 times a day guy as well.
So in this case take what she is offering, she obviously cares deeply for you, to chose sharing you than try and repress and maybe lose you. She has already gone a long way so think you will have to go with her on this.
Equally you post most eliquently, and your add is the same. Sure you will be getting some good replies very soon.
Good luck in the future.
TnH
Another thoughtful and wise reply! I'm very grateful - and, as I've just said in another post, I'm not in a bad mood any more!
:-)
Sorry to hear about your own less-than-ideal situation. Let me wish you good luck with it...!
Bests,
Mark D.
Quote by Marya
What they said :thumbup:
there are probably millions of men (a few of em are on this site!) who would give their right arm to be in your shoes. You are very lucky to have a partner like Kerry. Respect her limits and GOOD LUCK!
Another friendly and helpful reply! I'm beginning to feel very well looked after!
Yes, I am very lucky to have Kerry!
Thanks for your thoughts and for the kind wishes!
Hope you are lucky too!
:-)
Mark D.
