A man and a woman were dating. She being of a religious nature had held back the worldly pleasure that he wanted from her so bad. In fact, he had never even seen her naked. One day, as they drove down the freeway, she remarked about his slow driving habits.
‘I can't stand it anymore,’ she told him. ‘Let's play a game. For every 5 miles per hour over the speed limit you drive, I'll remove one piece of clothing’.
He enthusiastically agreed and sped up the car. He reached the 55 MPH mark, so she took off her blouse. At 60 off came the pants. At 65 it was her bra and at 70 her panties.
Now seeing her naked for the first time and travelling faster than he ever had before, he became very excited and lost control of the car. He veered off the road, went over an embankment and hit a tree. His girlfriend was not hurt but he was trapped. She tried to pull him free but alas he was stuck. ‘Go to the road and get help,’ he said. ‘I don't have anything to cover myself with!’ she replied. The man felt around, but could only reach one of his shoes. ‘You'll have to put this between your legs to cover it up,’ he told her. So she did as he said and went up to the road for help.
Along came a truck driver. Seeing a naked, crying woman along the road, he pulled over to hear her story. ‘My boyfriend! My boyfriend!’ she sobs, ‘He's stuck and I can't pull him out!’
The truck driver looking down at the shoe between her legs replies, ‘Ma'am, if he's in that far, I'm afraid he's a goner!’
A couple had been married for 25 years and was celebrating the husband's 60th birthday. During the party, a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them one wish each.
The wife said, ‘We've been so poor all these years, and I've never gotten to see the world. I wish we could travel all over the world.’ The fairy waved her wand and POOF! She had the tickets in her hand.
Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, and then said, ‘Well, I'd like to be married to a woman 30 years younger than me.’ The fairy waved her wand and POOF! He was 90.
A couple had been married for 25 years and was celebrating the husband's 60th birthday. During the party, a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them one wish each.
The wife said, ‘We've been so poor all these years, and I've never gotten to see the world. I wish we could travel all over the world.’ The fairy waved her wand and POOF! She had the tickets in her hand.
Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, and then said, ‘Well, I'd like to be married to a woman 30 years younger than me.’ The fairy waved her wand and POOF! He was 90.
My dog's got no nose
how does he smell?
wrotten
////
Makes me sick
What does?
Sticking my fingers down my throat
////
Choaks me
What does ?
This rope around my neck
Will/do they do???
Flowers 30 quid
dinner and a film 90 quid,
hotel room afterwards 200 quid
the look on his face when you tell him your having your period. . . . . . . . . . . . . Fucking priceless!
