I'm not one for moaning........well yes I am.......but I think this is justified.
When someone puts an ad on the site, and they word the advert to the effect of - "......and anyone who can't make the effort to tell me/us about themselves....." or " Anyone who replies 'Hi, I think I'm what you are looking for' will be deleted" - and those replying do bother to put a detailed message (with photo) together - you would think the people advertising would at least have the decency to just reply with a No Thanks if they aren't interested.
It seems to be the norm on this site that advertisers who aren't interested in the person(s) who are answering the ads just don't bother to reply. In fact of all the adverts I've answered and got no further only one advertiser has bothered to say No Thankyou.
Its time there was a section on here where people, who just ignore those replying to their ads, can be named and shamed. I just think its pig ignorant.
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Just having a moan
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Sex God
I don't get that much mail, so finding time to reply is never an issue, even if it's only to say that I'm not accepting a friend request from someone I've never interacted with ..... however I do know that the ladies, or couples even, can be inundated with mail, and I think you just have to accept no response as not interested at the moment. The name and shame topic comes up often in the forum, but it's not ever going to be implemented as that in itself might be open to misuse.
Sex God
Unfortunately some people are bad mannered.
You find them everywhere, not just on here.
You find them everywhere, not just on here.
Orgasminator
perhaps they have not been on the site when the mail has arrived or have since left the site or perhaps it is bad manners sooo many more reasons ... best advice is take it on the chin and either wait or better still move on to someone who can be bothered etc
Sex God
So you seriously want us to waste our time replying to people we never wanted to hear from in the first place?
Sex God
if we say "no thanks" we get messages asking "why?"
Surely the whole purpose of this site is to make contact with “other”. Or perhaps its not??? Whether they fit your criteria would not be known until you read the msg surely? I accept that if you receive a msg from say a single male and you specifically ask for couples or similar, then yes that would be an annoyance. I think what the poster is getting at is a valid point, unless you are fortunate enough to receive several hundred requests in a week, I do not think it is unreasonable for one to click the thanks but no thanks button"? If someone has gone to the effort to send a message, you to open it, maybe view their profile, how much more difficult can it be to click one button???
Quote by Trevaunance
So you seriously want us to waste our time replying to people we never wanted to hear from in the first place?
Sex God
Quote by Onthebeach_1
Surely the whole purpose of this site is to make contact with “other”. Or perhaps its not??? Whether they fit your criteria would not be known until you read the msg surely? I accept that if you receive a msg from say a single male and you specifically ask for couples or similar, then yes that would be an annoyance. I think what the poster is getting at is a valid point, unless you are fortunate enough to receive several hundred requests in a week, I do not think it is unreasonable for one to click the thanks but no thanks button"? If someone has gone to the effort to send a message, you to open it, maybe view their profile, how much more difficult can it be to click one button???
So you seriously want us to waste our time replying to people we never wanted to hear from in the first place?
One problem there is have they gone to the effort to send a message? We have had ads with key words in that must be mentioned in the message title or we dont read the message. Needless to say most of the messages never got read. Some people spam out copy and pastes like junk mail
Am I right in thinking that not getting responses is a new member issue? We all join get a bit excited, we all want some mail, we spend some time sending them and then get fuck all back :neutral: After a while we relaise thats just the way it is and pay more attention to the mail we do get back
I dont mind a no thanks we have had all types. We once had one no thanks after the banter and the normal pics we went to face pics. The message came back "One of us does not find one of you attractive". Did not bother me at all but Mrs got a bit upset about it. So might be good to be a bit thick skinned like me if you want all the no thanks responses back :lol:
Sex God
Just how often this comes up on this, and other Sites like it.
Can't see why anyone should reply if they are not interested. We send emails and don't get responses, people message us and don't get responses. So what? In the early days we were English and polite and replied to everyone and that lasted ooh, about two months. Unfortunately we got some nasty responses, some asking why, some then taking the response as a green light to hunt us down in chat or bombard us with spam messages.
Just toughen up and don't take rejection personally - you might also bear in mind that you may be EXACTLY what the other person/couple are looking for for but timing could be all wrong for all sorts of reasons. If you are a couple and they are a couple then tyou have the dynamics of four people to consider.
Can't see why anyone should reply if they are not interested. We send emails and don't get responses, people message us and don't get responses. So what? In the early days we were English and polite and replied to everyone and that lasted ooh, about two months. Unfortunately we got some nasty responses, some asking why, some then taking the response as a green light to hunt us down in chat or bombard us with spam messages.
Just toughen up and don't take rejection personally - you might also bear in mind that you may be EXACTLY what the other person/couple are looking for for but timing could be all wrong for all sorts of reasons. If you are a couple and they are a couple then tyou have the dynamics of four people to consider.
We aren't exactly inundated with mail but we do reply to every one.
I like to think we are polite if the folk aren't our cup of Darjeeling. I do say stunning aardvark if they haven't bothered to read the profile.
I wouldnt ignore somebody who took the trouble to say howdy at a social, and I have always tried to behave online as I would in person.
That said it would be a funny old world if we were all the same.
I like to think we are polite if the folk aren't our cup of Darjeeling. I do say stunning aardvark if they haven't bothered to read the profile.
I wouldnt ignore somebody who took the trouble to say howdy at a social, and I have always tried to behave online as I would in person.
That said it would be a funny old world if we were all the same.
Sex God
To be honest, if any one gets a message from a profile they are not interested in there's a simple 'no brainer' option of Reply No alongside the usual Delete, Ignore, Profile, and Reply
So if your not interested rather than ignoring or thinking about wording a reply, just use the Reply No option, at least people will know via the system generated polite decline.
Plus it should save similar threads appearing in the future (ever the optimist here), sadly as Nola pointed out earlier some people some people can be 'ill mannered', it's a fact of life, so accept and move on
So if your not interested rather than ignoring or thinking about wording a reply, just use the Reply No option, at least people will know via the system generated polite decline.
Plus it should save similar threads appearing in the future (ever the optimist here), sadly as Nola pointed out earlier some people some people can be 'ill mannered', it's a fact of life, so accept and move on
Warming the Bed
Quote by Trevaunance
So you seriously want us to waste our time replying to people we never wanted to hear from in the first place?
Must be nice to be in such demand
Sex God
From experience, some times it is easier not to answer some mail
Quote by steve_hockley
I'm not one for moaning........well yes I am.......but I think this is justified.
When someone puts an ad on the site, and they word the advert to the effect of - "......and anyone who can't make the effort to tell me/us about themselves....." or " Anyone who replies 'Hi, I think I'm what you are looking for' will be deleted" - and those replying do bother to put a detailed message (with photo) together - you would think the people advertising would at least have the decency to just reply with a No Thanks if they aren't interested.
It seems to be the norm on this site that advertisers who aren't interested in the person(s) who are answering the ads just don't bother to reply. In fact of all the adverts I've answered and got no further only one advertiser has bothered to say No Thankyou.
Its time there was a section on here where people, who just ignore those replying to their ads, can be named and shamed. I just think its pig ignorant.
I have a letterbox, a postcode and address, that does not mean I want everyone to send me junk mail, the same applies to mail on here, much of it is junk mail, most have not read your profile before they mail you, as we speak I have a guy in messenger (SH messenger) he has no pictures, no text information on his profile, no details of what he is looking for in text or in the boxes provided, his personal information is blank with the exception of his age and location and he will not take no for an answer, we actually always reply to mails but often get abuse from those we reply to with a polite thanks but no thanks, after many years on the site a lot of people just cannot be bothered replying anymore.
Our own profile is very long, it has hundreds of pictures, we know many think it is too big, so for those we expect them to just move on to a profile they do like, we have tried to project some of our personality and be informative so as not to waste anyones time, but each to thier own there are profile styles for everyone on here, long, short, with pics, without pics, just contact those that appeal to you, those that send us abusive mails about our profile say more about themselves than they do about us.
Single females can get hundreds of mails a day and some simply do not have the time to reply to everyone, some as I said are like junk mail, not what the person is looking for but ignored what the profile said and mailed anyway.
When people do not reply to us we simply take it as a no, not interested and move on. But don't for one second think it is just this site, we have been site members all over for many years and it it just the same on those.
Worse than no reply are the people who contact us, sometimes we are interested and tell them so, sometimes it is a polite no thankyou, annoyingly most of those we show an interest in with our response never get back to us again and leaves us wondering why they contacted us in the first place.
Casanova
Quote by Andy_Jules
As an alternative...
Loved the rant! And others' rants too. Goes to show we each have our own challenges to overcome while trying to get some meaningful contact on here. Sadly I have also stopped replying to all messages as well, for the reason others have mentioned - even a no is seen as a green light to start *arguing* the whens, hows and whys I can't meet (? what are these guys thinking!). I am afraid the automated reply sounds daft to me and not polite at all (what is there that is polite in a "thanks but no thanks"?) so I don't use it. I might use it if I could modify it, like you can with winks.
I'm with Steve From Hockley (the originator of this thread) on this one.
Tell me...Why don't people on here fill out their profiles correctly? If you don't want to meet a 'Straight Male' then take it off your profile!
When I fill out a search criteria I only ask for people interested in a 'Straight Male' and then when I approach them they haven't even the decency to answer.
I've pretty much given up on mailing people on here, I'm polite, have my profile filled in and always read what the advertiser wants before approaching them....but still no replies.
Both my (female) partner and I (male) play separately and neither of us have our photo on here because we are professional people who need to be careful. We always send pictures to a private email address ....why wouldn't we?? We do want to meet people as well.!!
They should call this 'Secret Heaven' as most of the people on here are exactly that and simply reduce the swinging community down to a select few and then complain when they run out of 'meets'.
We personally have more success going to a club but to be honest that can get expensive when you add up the travelling, entrance fees and staying over costs.
Tell me...Why don't people on here fill out their profiles correctly? If you don't want to meet a 'Straight Male' then take it off your profile!
When I fill out a search criteria I only ask for people interested in a 'Straight Male' and then when I approach them they haven't even the decency to answer.
I've pretty much given up on mailing people on here, I'm polite, have my profile filled in and always read what the advertiser wants before approaching them....but still no replies.
Both my (female) partner and I (male) play separately and neither of us have our photo on here because we are professional people who need to be careful. We always send pictures to a private email address ....why wouldn't we?? We do want to meet people as well.!!
They should call this 'Secret Heaven' as most of the people on here are exactly that and simply reduce the swinging community down to a select few and then complain when they run out of 'meets'.
We personally have more success going to a club but to be honest that can get expensive when you add up the travelling, entrance fees and staying over costs.
Quote by pebble
As an alternative...
Loved the rant! And others' rants too. Goes to show we each have our own challenges to overcome while trying to get some meaningful contact on here. Sadly I have also stopped replying to all messages as well, for the reason others have mentioned - even a no is seen as a green light to start *arguing* the whens, hows and whys I can't meet (? what are these guys thinking!). I am afraid the automated reply sounds daft to me and not polite at all (what is there that is polite in a "thanks but no thanks"?) so I don't use it. I might use it if I could modify it, like you can with winks.
We refer to sending "thanks but no thanks" replies to people but that is not what we actually say, each mail has a different response pertaining to why we are not interested, for example if contacted by a couple who are just fuck buddies we would tell them that this is the reason we would not meet, or when we get mails from couples who don't have pictures or only pictures of one person we state that this is the reason we will not meet, ie we reply with a "thanks but no thanks" without actually saying that.
The annoying thing is that every time we say no and the reason why it is for a reason already stated in our profile, ie our profile says we do not meet people who don't have viewable pics or send them with thier mail.
Sex God
I just take them out and shoot them .... better for everyone in the long run
And as for profiles don't get me started on profiles specially those with just a couple of cryptic lines .... the bastards
And as for profiles don't get me started on profiles specially those with just a couple of cryptic lines .... the bastards
Warming the Bed
I think that this is a tricky subject and yes it can be irritating when you get stupid emails or when you take the time to write an email and someone doesn't respond, or when someone doesn't read your profile.
If I send an email and someone doesn't respond then they are simply not interested, so no worries.
If I get a wink I ignore it (profile says so).
If I get a cockshot and nothing else - I ignore it.
IF someone writes me an email - I will always try to reply, but sometimes people are off the site for a while or might miss emails further down through their inbox.
I don't think that anyone sets out to be rude, but sometimes people don't have the time to respond, they are not interested or they just don't open it.
So if they don't read your profile, ignore it, and if they don't respond - why care?
If I send an email and someone doesn't respond then they are simply not interested, so no worries.
If I get a wink I ignore it (profile says so).
If I get a cockshot and nothing else - I ignore it.
IF someone writes me an email - I will always try to reply, but sometimes people are off the site for a while or might miss emails further down through their inbox.
I don't think that anyone sets out to be rude, but sometimes people don't have the time to respond, they are not interested or they just don't open it.
So if they don't read your profile, ignore it, and if they don't respond - why care?
Warming the Bed
Quote by Trevaunance
So you seriously want us to waste our time replying to people we never wanted to hear from in the first place?
Without wanting to challenge your right to ignore messages.......
If someone posts an ad on their profile they should be prepared to respond to people who message them on the strength of that "invite".
It doesn't have to be war & peace, you could always prepare a polite "no thanks" and cut and paste it instead of typing a fresh individual reply.
Cheers, Roketsox
Sexlightened
I know of a girl who had no photos on her profile no writing nothing. she had over 50 emails in the first few days. ( can you think how many she would have with photos ? )
if your not someone cup of the hint. and move on
if you was out in a bar and you asked someone for her number, and she said no. you wouldn't say why single.. and so on..
So no I don't think it's rude they didn't answer you back. they might of took the time to check your profile. and saw you didn't do nothing for them. then they looked at the other 50 emails and found the one that did..
The end :)
if your not someone cup of the hint. and move on
if you was out in a bar and you asked someone for her number, and she said no. you wouldn't say why single.. and so on..
So no I don't think it's rude they didn't answer you back. they might of took the time to check your profile. and saw you didn't do nothing for them. then they looked at the other 50 emails and found the one that did..
The end :)
Quote by roketsox
So you seriously want us to waste our time replying to people we never wanted to hear from in the first place?
Without wanting to challenge your right to ignore messages.......
If someone posts an ad on their profile they should be prepared to respond to people who message them on the strength of that "invite".
It doesn't have to be war & peace, you could always prepare a polite "no thanks" and cut and paste it instead of typing a fresh individual reply.
Cheers, Roketsox
And that would be fine, but as some have said, there are people on here that get hundreds of mails a day, most of the time the person sending the mail hasn't had the decency to read the recipitents profile, so why do they deserve a response, people do "invite" people to contact them, but thier profile says which people they would like and who they would not like, we get 4-5 friends invites a day, yet the first paragraph of our profile asks people not to invite us as friends unless we have met in person, why should we respond to people who haven't the courtesy to respect what we say.
As I said before, we do respond to mails, everytime, and half the time we get abusive mails back telling us how "up ourselves we are" or asking "why not", at least the nicer ones do, often it is "well your an ugly slag anyway" most of the mails we get are from people that our profile statements have already stated we are not looking for, but you believe that we should waste even more time on these people.
Respect me I will respect you simple as that.
Sex God
Some years ago I was on regular dating Sites - same shit. Some people replied and some didn't. You must be pretty weak, shallow and thin skinned to allow this to get you down.
Here is a fairly typical mail that "we" get - and you wonder why we just ignore mails these days?
............ You're gorgeous and have curves in all the right places, I think u have lovely skin.. Can I fuck your brains out? Please have a look at my profile. Get in touch with mobile number if this interests you. Mine is <xxxxxxxxxxxx> xx...............
Just get over it - fishing requires patience and tbh as a single bloke, I think that you will have a MUCH better chance at getting your leg over on a regular dating Site than in a place like this.
Here is a fairly typical mail that "we" get - and you wonder why we just ignore mails these days?
............ You're gorgeous and have curves in all the right places, I think u have lovely skin.. Can I fuck your brains out? Please have a look at my profile. Get in touch with mobile number if this interests you. Mine is <xxxxxxxxxxxx> xx...............
Just get over it - fishing requires patience and tbh as a single bloke, I think that you will have a MUCH better chance at getting your leg over on a regular dating Site than in a place like this.
