OK so you've been in contact with prospective durrrrty do'er(s) and things seem to be on the up and there's been some light chat bit of discussion even a social meet that sort of thing. Then you get a mail through your slot or on your phone saying "thanks but your not for me/us. Don't or wouldn't you want to know why? I know we're all grown ups in the swinging world, apparently, and we should be able to move on without a second thought but still.
We've had one or two knock backs when all seemed to be going good and we've given out a knock back or two ourselves. Well we gave a knock back the other day and the other party mailed just asking why. So dutifully we mailed back just saying that we didn't think that the meet to swing was suitable for us and that things didn't really click in that way.
OK, so maybe we shouldn't of even answered said mail but we did, just being poilte, as you do sort of thing. Lo and behold another mail, and yes I could of binned it straight away without reading, but hell I'm nosy. The mail asked why it was we thought that way and if it was anything we could think of that he/they could do that would A) change our mind, and he/they were OK about it if we didn't change our mind and B) How could we suggest that he/they change their approach to help out on future introductions etc.
We haven't mailed back yet.... lol
Ok ok ok I get the hint! ;)
Joking of course this wasn't me!
xxx
Are Northerns known for taking the hint?!
I can see why a knockback of sorts can for some be a little disconcerting but it happens, it's life, get over it and move on.
Never look back, ever!
I think I have said no thanks more often than had any members tell me no thanks.
But this is why I have said people should read profiles carefully: I get members who message me when I reply no asking why and usually it's because I have looked at their profile and they do not match what I am looking for at all (ie a couple and both in their 40s and both short: not what I have said I am looking for on here).
Put it this way I wouldn't message a gay man who is looking for a gay man and then get annoyed when I get told "no thanks" by him: hence why I think if you say no thanks to someone, they should 1) consider what is on your profile as there may be a reason there as to why you said no and 2) move on quickly as there's plenty of people on this website to get in touch with. I am sure there's plenty to go round.
We have sent lots of 'Thanks but no thanks' type messages. We are always polite about it and simply say:
"Sorry, you're not what we're looking for. No offence meant and we hope none taken."
There can be numerous reasons. They haven't read our profile and are literally not what we are looking for, it could be an attraction thing or something written on their profile/pics which puts us off.
We have had a couple of people ask why. We're always honest but polite. If it's a lack of attraction thing we say, "Sorry, there was no attraction" however we would never be specific in a too fat/too thin/you're ugly type way. If it's because we don't do what they're asking for or offering, we tell them!
If someone says no to us, we don't pursue it. No point, we are not that far up our own arses to think that everyone fancy must us and would never play with anyone else who had that 'I'm God's gift' attitude!
dont worry about it.
i get loads of people watching my cam in chat and the 'nice body,we would like to meet' mail and most dont follow it up.
you have to understand people like the chase and thats it.
i go to another site for meets and do well on it. i cannot tell you why,thats just the way it is.
just ignore people if after the first contact you dont hear from them again, they aint worth your time worrying about.
and if they give you the 'your not for us' stuff em because plenty out there will be as i have found out.
move on and leave them behind!
It's really not worth worrying about. We have plenty of people approach us that are never going to get anywhere but provided they approach us right we always politely say no and include the reason why straight away. This usually leads to a reply of 'ok thanks then, but if you change your mind you know where I am'. That's it, time to move on.
Sometimes we might be the ones who lose out, but we gain in another way. There is a really hot guy living in Glasgow that we would definetly meet, except he is way too far away for that to happen. We told him so and he accepted and understood the situation. We still chat and nothing has changed in that respect. On a similar note there is a guy about 3 miles from us with a body to die for, but there is simply no attraction. We told him so and we chat a couple of nights a week but at least we have been honest and we all know the score.
we mostly use the standard reject button when we're not interested in someone that has been in touch - BUt for the true numpty that messages us - especially if he or she or they happen to be the 45th one that day we save these 2 fine examples of replies
please feel free to copy them for your own use
1
OOOOOOOOh whoooopeeee
another message from a no-hoper with so little on his profile that it would be hard to imagine - well imagine anything actually!
no pics and no detail but can't host = probably a married guy looking for a quickie
so why on earth you think we should be even remotely interested in meeting with you is beyond us.
best of luck elsewhere on the site
laff n chilli
ps - this has been a copy n paste (can't be arsed) message brought to you by lazy fekkers dot com
and
2
Hiya XXXX
thanks for your message
lots of single guys complain that they never get a reply - not even a polite thanks but no thanks
And the reason for that is that so few of them actually read a whole profile to see if they are what we are looking for
we suggest you buck the trend and first read your profile - then read ours - then compare - then you'll know not to waste your time contacting us again - and more importantly we won't have to waste ours replying
best of luck elsewhere on the site
laff n chilli
PS - this has been a copy n paste (can't be arsed) message of rejection brought to you by lazy
We even occasionally tailor them for persitant offenders just for our own amusement
laff n chilli
Hope your both well? 
