Kids!

15 May 2008

My youngest daughter, aged 12 almost gave me a heart attack yesterday.
We were in the kitchen and she was messing about with an old lampshade we're chucking out whilst I was folding laundry out of the tumble drier.
Suddenly, she put the lampshade on her head and 'sang' Buddhist style ... "Ommmm - I'm masturbating'
My jaw hit the floor and I said 'WHAT??' :shock:
A look of realisation came across her face and she replid 'Oh dear - I've said the wrong word haven't I ... I meant MEDITATING'.
I almost wet myself laughing - so did she (red faced). I didn't even know she knew what it meant (they learned about it in 'Citizenship' apparently) but I'm pretty sure what they learned didn't involve lampshades!
Kids - gotta love 'em! biggrin

15 May 2008

Why are they learing about masturbating in Citizenship lessons??
Or have I missed something here?
biggrin

15 May 2008

I think that in order to gain a "C" grade or above for GCSE Citizenship, one is required to be able to masturbate to a Photograph of Gordon Brown.
Simply bowing only gains a "D" grade.
I'd hate to see the fail rate. wink

15 May 2008

Quote by Sarah
Why are they learing about masturbating in Citizenship lessons??
Or have I missed something here?

I know ... I didn't really understand that either. I mean, I know they need to know about pregnancy, STDs, respect etc - but masturbation?? Don't you kinda find that out for yourself? rolleyes

Winchwench ... a C for wanking over GB?? That's one exam I'd make an effort to fail! :eeek:

15 May 2008

Wait until she's 16 and hands you a cucumber in the supermarket for the basket and smiles! :shock: I was, for once, stuck for words.

15 May 2008

Quote by jaymar
Wait until she's 16 and hands you a cucumber in the supermarket for the basket and smiles! :shock: I was, for once, stuck for words.

Was it for you or her? wink

:giggle:

15 May 2008

The same daughter came walking into the lounge with a pink Jellybaby ice lolly the other evening (if you haven't seen them, they're cylindrical, about 4" long and a bit 'wobbly') waving it around and announcing 'these look a bit dodgy'.
Oh well ... I suppose it's not a bad thing that she can talk about stuff like that. rolleyes

15 May 2008

last night after a conversation with another member on here they sent me a link to a family guy clip about a 2 girls one cup gross clip.
anyway, daughter could not see the lap top but could hear the family guy clip sound.
she started lauging and said " your watching the family guy clip about 2 girls 1 cup arnt you?"
omg, those of you who know will know why i was shocked. lol i asked her if she knew what it was about and she did, but thank fully has not seen the real clip as " nah cant find it anywhere " ewghhhhhh.
on another occassion as a out reach worker i was sat in a familys home with the enterance to the living room vsable to me only, while i was talking to the mother i looke dup and something caught my eye at the door, her daughter who was about 4 was stood there singing in to her mothers vibrator lol :shock: :giggle:
the look on my face made the mum wonder what was up, got up looked around the door and was mortified lol
xx fem xx

16 May 2008

Quote by X_fanny_x
Wait until she's 16 and hands you a cucumber in the supermarket for the basket and smiles! :shock: I was, for once, stuck for words.

Was it for you or her? wink

:giggle:
I dread to think.... it was just the 'knowing' smile as if to say 'yes this is phallic shaped' lol

16 May 2008

Quote by jaymar
Wait until she's 16 and hands you a cucumber in the supermarket for the basket and smiles! :shock: I was, for once, stuck for words.

Was it for you or her? wink

:giggle:
I dread to think.... it was just the 'knowing' smile as if to say 'yes this is phallic shaped' lol

:red: :lol: :lol: :lol:

16 May 2008

Quote by X_fanny_x
Wait until she's 16 and hands you a cucumber in the supermarket for the basket and smiles! :shock: I was, for once, stuck for words.

Was it for you or her? wink

:giggle:
I dread to think.... it was just the 'knowing' smile as if to say 'yes this is phallic shaped' lol

:red: :lol: :lol: :lol:
you have haven't you??? and a carrot? what about a butternut squash?? :shock:
:wink:

16 May 2008

no commento redface

16 May 2008

Quote by X_fanny_x
Wait until she's 16 and hands you a cucumber in the supermarket for the basket and smiles! :shock: I was, for once, stuck for words.

Was it for you or her? wink

:giggle:
depends on weather is was a half one or not..... rolleyes

20 May 2008

A 17 year old today - "Micro-biology is like Dr Who - you don't have to get it to be impressed"

20 May 2008

Quote by markz
Wait until she's 16 and hands you a cucumber in the supermarket for the basket and smiles! :shock: I was, for once, stuck for words.

Was it for you or her? wink

:giggle:
depends on weather is was a half one or not..... rolleyes

Aye cos the bigger one was saved for your gob :roll:

20 May 2008

The daughter of some friends of ours a while ago was telling her grnd parents about the new decorating that her mum & dad had done and explained that the new "dildo" rail going round the middle of the room was really nice lol

I nearly passed out laughing when she told me!