Kids say the funniest things!!

24 Mar 2011

Our 9 year old daughter has recently started her sex education at school and seems to now be the font of all knowledge regarding everything to do with puberty.
We have just been out and she was having a debate with her 12 year old brother in the back of the car about whether girls or boys have it worse ... it went something like this:
Girl: Girls have it so bad, at least boys don't have to grow anything.
Boy: We do! We grow hairs under our armpits, not to mention pubic hair.
Girl: We get that too, but you don't grow anything that has to stretch your skin! We grow boobs and have periods.
Boy: Periods, Periods! ... What about erections!! They just happen out of the blue when you're not expecting it. One minute you're just walking down the corridor and the next minute ... erection! For no reason!! People can see it, its embarrassing!
Girl: Whats an erection?
Boy: When your willy goes hard!
Girl: Ahhhhhh. Well what about periods. You could be walking down the street and suddenly blood starts pouring out of your bum ... sorry, I mean vagina. Imagine if you were wearing a skirt and forgot to put your knickers on!! How embarrassing!!
Boy: Well boys always have to buy the condoms!
Girl: No they don't, you can get them in girls toilets from the same machine that you get the period papers.
Boy: Well .... boys have wet dreams!
Girl: Ahhhh wet dreams, I guess boys do have it worse!!
Not sure how she came to that conclusion but the whole debate was highly entertaining!!
lol

24 Mar 2011

Where's the "like" button? :thumbup:

24 Mar 2011

Oh Fun...
We never had that. We only had a boy who we packed off to boarding school at 7 (for business reasons) but that experience must have been a priceless moment for you.
I guess you'll remember that cherished moment till your dying day!

24 Mar 2011

Quote by GnV
Oh Fun...
We never had that. We only had a boy who we packed off to boarding school at 7 (for business reasons) but that experience must have been a priceless moment for you.
I guess you'll remember that cherished moment till your dying day!

And so will the kids -as it will be brought up at every family gathering between here and 2021. :giggle:

26 Mar 2011

Our lad tried to tell us a joke tonight, went a bit wrong..
Whats brown and shitty?
A shit... :doh:
Bless him.. I did the dad thing and left it to shi and went down stairs and laughed

29 Mar 2011

I'd be quite happy for my 9 year old to be recieving proper sex ed! Unfortunately she is currently getting all her info from a less than desirable friend who has older siblings. I recently had to correct her on what the procedure is for a male to female sex change operation. rolleyes

I do really feel for the boys though.. my stepson is having the random erection issues and has now started shouting at it to behave itself (in private of course.... I hope) lol

29 Mar 2011

Quote by payne
I'd be quite happy for my 9 year old to be recieving proper sex ed! Unfortunately she is currently getting all her info from a less than desirable friend who has older siblings. I recently had to correct her on what the procedure is for a male to female sex change operation.
I do really feel for the boys though.. my stepson is having the random erection issues and has now started shouting at it to behave itself (in private of course.... I hope)

:giggle:

7 Apr 2011

That's hilarious fun, I've posted a couple of my own kids' memorable quotes on here before now.
I was drivin them home one evening and I said to them "do you know what an oxymoron is?" ...my 11y.o. daughter said I do ......."clever dad"" cheeky lil minx...I can come here to get insulted...don't need it from me kids too.

7 Apr 2011

Quote by payne
I do really feel for the boys though.. my stepson is having the random erection issues and has now started shouting at it to behave itself (in private of course.... I hope)

Does that work? I might have to try it. :thumbup:
:giggle:
bolt

7 Apr 2011

At the Hair Salon this week my 8 year old daughter & I were waiting, she was looking thru some glossy magazine and spotted her idol Cheryl Cole.....all of a sudden in a quiet salon she asks out loud..."Mum...what's Tit Tape ????'....being a 34J....I dont have much need for it myself lol...and tried to explian why "ladies" needed it lol....Kids !!!

7 Apr 2011

At the Hair Salon this week my 8 year old daughter & I were waiting, she was looking thru some glossy magazine and spotted her idol Cheryl Cole.....all of a sudden in a quiet salon she asks out loud..."Mum...what's Tit Tape ????'....being a 34J....I dont have much need for it myself lol...and tried to explian why "ladies" needed it lol....Kids !!!

8 Apr 2011

Mine are awkward cus they get so specific if people I know read they will work out who I am lol

FUCK IT
Little Tweeky belongs to a club. I had a slight disagreement with the club managers over an excursion so in the heat of the moment I told little tweeky they would not be going back to the club. Three weeks on and little tweeky is on the way to school with Mrs Tweeky and another parent plus their children. Other child says to little tweeky "club starts back today". Little Tweeky says in front of other child and other child's parent "Daddy says I'm not going back to club cus those fat cows get on his nerves"

8 Apr 2011

I know....just last week the little boy down the road came running up to me crying and asking for his mum..........so I buried him with her lol

it seemed the kindest thing

10 Apr 2011

When my youngest was 12, she came into the kitchen with an old lampshade on her head and, in a monotone 'note' sang "hummmmm I am masturbating'
My jaw dropped - she took one look at my shocked face and said 'err no - that's the wrong word. I meant meditating' :giggle:

10 Apr 2011

I remember when my eldest (who is now 22) came home from primary school (she was year 3) and asked about how to have a baby. Apparently one of the kids had bought it up during a lesson and the teacher and said that we should ask our parents.
I though, okay Ill give her the full birds and bees lecture. We were in the car alone, as I was driving to town. Conversation went like this:
Me: When a man and woman want to have a baby. They will take there clothes off and the lady will lay down. The man's penis......
Daughter: redface

please dont use that word mummy.
Me: okay what word shall I use?
Daughter: Sausage
Me: Okay the man's sausage will get hard and he then puts this in the ladies vagina.
Daghter surprised

ops: please dont use that word mummy
Me: Okay what word shall I use?
Daughter: Beef Burger
At this point I lost it, burst into laughter and said, sorry babes i really can not have a serious conversation with you talking about daddy putting his sausage in mummy's beef burger!!!
lol

10 Apr 2011

When my youngest (now 14) was in his first school he told me I reminded him of his teacher
Son: Mummy you are like my teacher
Me: Is it because I help you and teach you things and look after you? :jagsatwork:
Son: No, its because her arms wobble when she holds them up too :dry:
Deflated or what

11 Apr 2011

Dad dad! Can I have £40:00 please biggrin

'kin hilarious sad

11 Apr 2011

Quote by Lost
Dad dad! Can I have £40:00 please 'kin hilarious

:giggle:
Send them out to pick it off the money tree in the garden!! lol