Let's fix EagerSlut !

18 Oct 2005

Pale and wan, Eager lays stricken upon his bed, barely able to lift a finger to click the "next thread" link. Summoning up all his reserves of energy, he manages to scroll down the page, before breaking into a sweat and collapsing into his pillows.
While Kitty plays nursey, fetching and carrying for this poor victim of an unknown ailment, we, as EagerSlut's friends should rally around and help him before this dread lurgy saps him of all vim and Eagerness.
With my limited knowledgeof medicine ( Workplace First Aid course 2002) I shall do my very best to note his symptoms and maybe strike upon the correct diagnoses of his malaise. Of course, collaboration is much better, as i may have missed some symptoms. So if any of you have noticed other signs, it will help in raising this poor fallen Forum stalwart back to full vitality and posting prowess....
EagerSlut's Symptoms:
Dull or lacking in sparkly things. :huh:
Knicks have strange green tainting ( akin to grass stains) :lol2:
Torpor. :yawn:
Lack of EagerMilk :wanker:
A curiously "cocked eye" dunno

( a layby accident mebbe?)
Emoticons have become diluted or show lack of bounce. redface

No whistling innocent

My assumption based on these here facts......
EagerSlut... be strong, the news is not good...
you have contracted Big Pants Disease (BPD).... :grin: and your body is fighting the urge to pull on a huge pair of waist hugging purple and green baggy Y-fronts.
Fight it Eager, you are strong and this BPD is beatable... don't succumb... we are with you in your fight!!!
:grin: I am available for daytime TV medical slots btw...

18 Oct 2005

I have recently bought a pair of black sparkly stillettos, size 8 ---- will they help.....?
Thought not, but that's the best I can do at short notice dunno

18 Oct 2005

Do you think it is a serious case then? will the next ES avatar have pants up to his chest, held up by braces?
lhk
Kat

18 Oct 2005

Quote by KitKat
Do you think it is a serious case then? will the next ES avatar have pants up to his chest, held up by braces?
lhk
Kat

:scared: :scared: :scared:

18 Oct 2005

Quote by KitKat
Do you think it is a serious case then? will the next ES avatar have pants up to his chest, held up by braces?
lhk
Kat

It could be worse than that.... they may be held up, in very severe cases, with an elasticated belt with an S shaped buckle.... :shock:

18 Oct 2005

Quote by bluexxx
I have recently bought a pair of black sparkly stillettos, size 8 ---- will they help.....?
Thought not, but that's the best I can do at short notice

Please Bluexxx, donate them to EagerSlut now.... they may not be the cure, but they may stave off the worst effects ..... for a while... biggrin

18 Oct 2005

ES sweetie don't despair - although Postie has diagnosed the worstest ever disease an Eagerslut coould imagine smackbottom

shame on you Postie
I have here in my 1st aid Kit - one riding crop to put the colour back in your cheeks, one picnic table for you to rest upon, one trucker to soothe your fevered brow, one Kitty to bring you back to reality and one tiny, sparkly red thong and a huge snog to make you leap off your sick bed and wipe your snivelling nose and be ES again passionkiss

whoops - forgot the man size tissue for your nose :giggle: :giggle: :giggle:

18 Oct 2005

Just opened an eye for a quick squint to make sure you're all behaving and what do I find? My knicks are the subject of debate :shock: :shock: :shock:
Can they be responsible for my plight? dunno

:undecided:
redface

ops: :oops: :oops:
(Closes eye and decides I'm imagining it) bolt

18 Oct 2005

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Postie passionkiss

Quote by postie
While Kitty plays nursey, fetching and carrying for this poor victim of an unknown ailment, we, as EagerSlut's friends should rally around and help him before this dread lurgy saps him of all vim and Eagerness.

Kitty's at a safe distance of nearly 200 miles away :twisted: :twisted:
We'd best send in the troops ;)

18 Oct 2005

eager you could do with some wide sided apple catchers they will keep you warm if the night heater fails :shock: get well soon
grimpol wink

18 Oct 2005

Quote by postie
I have recently bought a pair of black sparkly stillettos, size 8 ---- will they help.....?
Thought not, but that's the best I can do at short notice

Please Bluexxx, donate them to EagerSlut now.... they may not be the cure, but they may stave off the worst effects ..... for a while... biggrin

Well, I'd better donate them fast then, cos when Judy sees my new shoes there will be no getting them off her :lol2:

18 Oct 2005

Due to the lack of Eagerness you say Postie. Does that mean he might actually become one of the normal, common, garden variety (as appose to the layby), slut!!!!! We need to put the eager back in. Quick anybody got some something to put into him to stop this from happening?

18 Oct 2005

Quote by bluexxx
I have recently bought a pair of black sparkly stillettos, size 8 ---- will they help.....?
Thought not, but that's the best I can do at short notice

Please Bluexxx, donate them to EagerSlut now.... they may not be the cure, but they may stave off the worst effects ..... for a while... biggrin

Well, I'd better donate them fast then, cos when Judy sees my new shoes there will be no getting them off her :lol2:
I don't think Judy will let you, but it may be the ONLY way you'll get them off her feet...

18 Oct 2005

Hey ES............. based on the responses so far in this thread.......... you're gonna die mate :grin:
Why don't you get out there and drive your truck just in yer sparkly knicks......... maybe that'll help confused

18 Oct 2005

Actually, I think Judy might have one of these in her travel bag, along with the pliers :eeek:
Judy is going to kill me if she reads this thread... I've been warned before about mentioning the pliers :giggle:
innocent

18 Oct 2005

Hmmm well if ES needs fixing I think think the bigger question is who broke him... innocent

:whistling: :whistling:

18 Oct 2005

Quote by EnglishChris99
Hmmm well if ES needs fixing I think think the bigger question is who broke him... :whistling: :whistling:

... and stole his "whistling" emoticons.... :shock:
wait a minute!!!!! Come back here englishchris !

18 Oct 2005

Quote by postie
wait a minute!!!!! Come back here englishchris !

I can safely say not guilty to that one guvnor... ES and the lovely Kitty have been far to busy to invite me round... but I think they are planning to do something naughty with me in the future... so I will do my best to break them both then!