Triggered by a convo with my son. This is the letter I wish I could send to myself at the age of 15.
Dear S (15),
I know it's hard at the moment - all homework and getting nagged about stuff. It gets better, believe me.
Get your exams, keep your head down in french and for God's sake keep your mouth shut in games. I know Mrs Gale is a complete bitch but you get to leave soon - she doesn't.
Boys WILL like you - they already do but you're too afraid to believe it. Don't worry about that, there really is plenty of time.
Don't let people criticise your choices - they're different - not necessarily right.
Love S (45)
What letter would you write to your younger or older self?
Dear FB (43)
keep your friends close, but don't let them move in!
FB (44)
Dear Blue (15)
Do good things
From Blue (37)
Dear Tan (aged 13)
Don't dilly dally on the top of the stairs even when your brother calls you names other wise you WILL fall and cause yourself years of problems.
If you find yourself in a predicament its not the end of the world. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
When people say you cant do something, don't listen because YOU CAN.
Beware of peoples ulterior motives, specially family and don't let people bully you into doing something that will better yourself.
Don't ever worry about what other people think of you.
Don't ever lose sight of who YOU are and what you want, If someone doesn't like you for you they are really not worth it, Don't change for anyone.
Love Tan (age 25)
Dear Sassy ( aged 32 )
There's a fab webby called Swinging Heaven. Never mind that geezer from Aldershot that you fancy the socks off, get your ass on there and have some fun instead of waiting many more years!
from Sassy ( aged 48 3/4 )
Dear Sassy ( aged 42 1/4 )
Don't do it! He'll fuck around behind your back and it'll take years to get rid of the bastard for good. You should have listened to me 10 years ago!
from Sassy ( aged 48 3/4 )
oi you!
you dozie git...pull your finger out and enjoy yourself for fuck's sake!
stop moping around and worrying about stuff... the war will never happen, you know it really, they aint got the courage to press the red button.
and seriously, all that other bollocks running around in your head is just nonsence...
liven up... learn to dance.
oh, and dont go down the pub just yet...
lp
Dear Martin
I understand how lonely and isolated you feel because your parents are no longer together - but long term it is for the best!
Yes your confidence is low but it will improve, you are a special caring gentle person who will make others happy.
Bless you and don't suffer other people's hurt!
Most of all I love you.
Martin
Letter to myself and my son (Anonymous)
Strange times visiting all sorts of hurt at the moment
Dear Davej, your fast approaching the time to leave school and step out into the world and make your own way and whilst I don’t want to give you an idea of the future so that you can benefit from discovering it yourself, I can say that if you tear this letter up now, you won’t go far wrong. You are going to be incredibly lucky in life and love and the older you get, the more you will realise this. You will always want for things but temper that with the thoughts of what you’ve got because it’s pretty damn good.
So given that life is going to be good for you what else can I tell you, nothing much, just a few pointers.
The friends you have now will, for the most part be your friends for years to come, they will move away and start their own families, but you’ll all get together periodically, as families and now and gain just as mates for card nights round each others homes and golfing breaks abroad, when you do, try and drink less. You will find that your capacity for drink is poor and will always send you into deep sleeps. Those sleeps will become the prime opportunity for your friends to get their own back on anything you’ve done to them in the past.
You won’t know what super glue and a Nokia is at the moment, they haven’t been invented, but they will be. Super glue is a very strong adhesive that sticks fuck all together as the advert claims other than skin. A Nokia is a telephone that has no wires, you’ll carry it around with you. By applying super glue to the back of the Nokia and it’s control buttons and then placing it onto the top of your head whilst your asleep and then constantly ringing you, your friends will have something they can tell their families about for years. Nokia have their own signature tune that serves well in your pocket, but only annoys if its coming from the top of your head. It won’t be a major thing and drowning the Nokia will eventually silence it and after a couple of hours, remove it from your bonce, but you will be left with flaky looking skin and a reddish rash for a while.
The finger painting of the words ‘hello sexy’ on your forehead with sun block, on the first day in Portugal after an afternoons drinking and sleeping by the pool, again won’t be life threatening and for the most part won’t spoil your trip as you can cover it with a hat until the sun blends it all in, however some establishments that you want to visit will have to wait as they ban head wear in the evenings.
The clipping of the family pet in stripe patterns with a set of Whal hair clippers won’t be so funny, you might have been drunk and asleep at the time, but it was in your own home and you will be deemed responsible because of that. Don’t fret about it, a clipped Labrador isn’t hurt or embarrassed by it, but folk will look at you as if you are some kind of sadistic torturer until it’s grown back.
Fire and heat won’t be kind to you, but don’t alter your life to avoid it, damage and injury will be minimal, don’t put your life on hold because of it, just try to remember that towels and bedside lamps should never come into contact, especially when it’s done deliberately, your aim of creating a more subdued lighting effect will work, but a sixty watt bulb is a heat source and a towel is a flammable object, if left unattended they will ignite.
Towelling dressing gowns and flame should never come into contact so try not to lean against a gas hob whilst wearing one, you will ‘flash over’ don’t worry, it will be a violent fireball that engulfs you quicker than you can spit, but once the faceing of the gown has flashed over it will extinguish itself.
Night lights or tea lights are small candles set into thin metal containers, they will be made en-masse in China, you’ll know this because they will stamp the words ‘made in China’ on the base of each one. They will be sold in boxes of twelve and if set out in a room, can give a much more romantic feel to it, but a word of warning, read the back of the box because on there, it will tell you to place these candles on a heat resistant base, not directly onto the furniture as the metal containers get very very hot and if left long enough, will burn down into the furniture by as much as 1mm and leaving a nice circular pattern on your best oak with the words ‘made in China’ clearly visible. You will be able to cover most of them will other household objects, telephones, ornaments, magazines etc, but the layout won’t be the same and furniture is expensive.
Finally, you will continue to use pencils through your life so stop wondering how they get the lead into them, its not important and will do your head in.
All my best Davej.
PS
Ditch the drainpipe jeans and winkle pickers - you look a state!! :shock:
To Busty (age 10)
Tell the teacher and your Mum you are being bullied. Just because it isn't physical doesn't mean it's not bullying. The girl is wrong, you have done nothing wrong, be strong.
Busty (44)
Dear Miss B (Aged 15)
If only you knew then what you know now!
9 years really isn't a long time in the grand scheme of things but my how you've grown.
There are only a few words of wisdom that I can actually offer you - stop trying to fit in with the "in" crowd and get your bloody head down at school, you're in your last year for crying out loud.
You know those GCSE things that mum keeps going on about, well contrary to what you may think they are important and you may need them later in life, I know she's a pain in the arse harping on about them all the while but she really does know best, don't bloody tell her that I told you that - I hate it when she's right.
I know that the boy is the centre of your world right now, he feels it too, but he will wait for you because he knows that you're worth it. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but things don't go quite so smoothly with him over the next couple of years - you break his heart, but like I said he WILL wait for you, be patient and more understanding of him. Boys have feelings too you know, yes really, stop being a bitch just because you can - and no you cannot blame everything on PMT (you can only get away with that one for so long).
Take the rough with the smooth girl and know when the time is right to call it a day, stop clutching at straws because it only makes the pain worse.
You'll know what I mean in time, and stop bloody muttering under your breath how much like mum I am, you're forgetting that I was you, and you will become me, so listen I know what I'm talking about.
Be nicer to dad while you're at it, I know he's at work all the time and you rarely see him but how do you think you've got a roof over your head, clothes on your back and food in your belly? It isn't by magic my love, if only it were. Mum leaves him when you're 17 but please don't hate either of them for this, remember what I said about calling it a day, it was their time - people fall out of love and it's better to say goodbye than to carry on living a lie just for the sake of others.
A few years down the line when you think you're older and wiser remember that you're just older. Dad gets really ill when you're 21, just after the baby, yes I said baby - you will go on to have a little boy congratulations, but more about this in a minute. When dad gets ill please remember that you do not have to cope on your own, do not shut people out, they are only trying to help you and you cannot carry the weight of the world on your shoulders alone. Try not to resent him, I know it's hard given what's happened in the last few years but he needs you, he's not the same man that he used to be. You will have you're own life but try to visit him more, yes I know it will be hard as he won't know who you are, but just seeing his eyes light up when he remembers briefly will make the past seem unimportant - family is family and never ever forget that.
Back to the baby, scary thought at 15 isn't it? You will fall in love again and your son is the product of this - who'd have though that eh, us a mum!
I'm not going into details too much because bringing up a child is going to be hard, I'm not going to pretend it's not, but you have to find out exactly what I mean by yourself. That rush of love that you'll get when you first see your son is going to last forever and will happen everytime you look at him, the shock of it will be a bit like a slap in the face but without the pain.
I'm going to go now and let you digest this information but one more thing, that job that you really really want when you're 22 and don't get past the interview stage, apply again the year after it will be worth it.
Dry your tears and try to smile, it's a beautiful smile.
See you when you're my age.
Miss B (Aged 24)
xx
Me aged 45 to me aged 12.
Never take any notice of what people that are not important in life say to or about you, take more notice of the people that really care and love you.
People that don’t care about you will always try and drag you down, the people that do care will always try and build you up.
Funnily enough I am saying this same thing to my 12 year old daughter at the moment.
What a beautiful thread.
Dear Ben (15),
At the moment escaping that rathole is the most important thing on your mind and the only option you can see is to resolve to make as much money as possible. I wandered that path for 20 years and it wasn't as much fun as I would have liked although its all turned out lovely.
Have a look around, the best advice I can give you is to find something that makes your heart sing whenever you do it, and get somebody to pay you to do it. Success is measured by how you feel not by what you have.
Ben (45)
PS Missy says Ditch the drainpipe jeans and winkle pickers - you look a state!!- and I should add that haircut will one day be called a mullet and you will regret it.
Dear J (17)
Keep making the choices you want to make, oh, and your hair line might be receding now but it doesn't get any worse.
Start saving money now for an iphone.
J (25)
Dear Fluff (aged 15),
It is OK for a female to enjoy sex and it will not make her a slut if she opens her legs wide to welcome him in. Maybe you should wait until you're older to really indulge though. You are only trying to replace the love you crave from our parents.
Your sister will move out of your shared room when you are 19 so if you want to stay at home for a bit longer you will have the bedroom to yourself. You will get on better when you are out of each other's hair, but never turn your back on her in an argument.
Don't give up studying geology just because the teacher is sexist. He'll have a heart attack soon after you leave school anyway.
Don't be in such a rush to do everything, enjoy your life without complications and responsibilities for longer. Living together without being married is no big deal and you don't have to have kids young just because other people are. Take time to smell the roses and watch what's going on around you.
Rest assured that everything will work out for the best, Stuff really does love you despite what you believe and your relationship will survive whatever is thrown at it.
All my love, Fluff (aged 40) xx
Dear Reacher (aged 17)
When the Sergeant from the RAF careers information office rings you up and gives you the sales pitch more akin to double glazing sales people and tells you that a young fit bloke like you does not want to be a communications techy....nooo you want to be a gunner you get to have a gun...and we have a place become available in 6 weeks come in now and fill out the forms..
Dont be a fucking knobhead and go Wow cool guns i'll be there in two hours....say no I would like a trade that might be usefull and pays better please...
also for future long term reference dont push buttons for the sake of "see what happens next" not shiney ones or big red ones you will continue to get in the shit....
And last but not least there will come a time when you know you should not mention the chicken...no matter how pissed....listen to the voice saying shut the chuff up...
Reacher (34 and 3/4)
P.s dont feel guilty for wanking in peoples tea who you dont like it happens all the time.
Dear Mrs B age 13.....dont walk that way home from school....if you have to.....dont talk to boys dressed in cammo gear!....you will still be with him 23 years later!
Dear Mrs B age 14......dont have sex yet.....FFS wait and make your first time nicer than a dirty shed floor!!
Dear Mrs B age 17......FFS girl get on the pill and save yourself a lifetime of what ifs and wondering!
Dear Mrs B age 22 .........Dont let your mum call the emergency doctor.....get her to give your dad some painkillers and a cuddle and send him off to bed........if she HAS to call the doc......please dont let the doc send him to W****** Hospital....please PLEASE....if you havent listened to any other advice....listen to this one......PLEASE!
To Vicky (aged 15)
First off - one day you and mum will be the best of friends, it will take a few years yet but you will both go through something that brings you closer together. Hard to believe at the moment I know but its true (trust me)
I know you dont get on with your brother but he’s a typical little brother, dont let him get to you, again in a few years time you’ll be fiercely protective of him and he will have his own trials to get through and you will need to be there for him regardless of anything else going on.
As for your love life (yes you do have one) make the most of who you find, dont let a day go past without telling him you love him. 2006 will be a horrendous year for you and your son (pick your jaw up from the floor dear). But do yourself a favour, insist he goes to the GP’s and dont take no for an answer, then you and the boy might have a very different future than the one we currently have. Whatever happens though you will make it through regardless of the outcome.
Love your friends, ignore those who wish you ill because its a reflection of them and their insecurities, not you my hun. You will become strong and independant and are worth knowing and loving despite what others may tell you to the contrary.
Every person makes right decisions, wrong decisions and decisions that affect their entire future. Do right by the people you know and you will earn their respect.
And dont EVER put a wall up around your heart - life is too short to cut yourself off from those around you and from those that might want to offer you a future. Grab life and all it can offer with both hands and dont let go despite how hard it might try to shake loose from you.
And so i bid you farewell my sweet, just know that people love you and want you in their lives no matter what you may think at times.
(PS When you and the hubbie plan to sell the house and rent for a bit, dont - u’ll never get back on the property ladder again cos house prices go thro the roof)
From Vicky (aged 38)
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:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: 
