Looking for a different perspective

2 Jan 2005

:dunno: :x :dunno: :x :boxing: :x :boxing: :x :dunno: :x :dunno: :x
I'm not one for really making any new years resolutions cuase i can't help thinking that when i don't succeed at them, i have sort of failed. So, rather than fail, i don't make any per se.
However, i was asked what my resolutions were. I responded with "to have fun, be happy, and not to let the world pull me down." This isn't really a New Year resolution, its just how i generally try to live my life.
Minutes after saying this, the telephone rang. It was my ex telling me about what a wonderful time the kids and him had had at his mam and dads on Ne'er day. I don't have an issue with any of them having good time at all, thats what life should be about. And, whats good for the goose, is good for the gander. I have had a great few days, why shouldn't they???
Thing is, i felt my blood boil. I have never felt like part of his side of the family, even after a 20 year relationship. Through our marriage, that feeling caused some problems which i will be honest and say, some of my issues were justified and some perhaps not so justifiable. There was even a time when his side of the family didn't see any of us, including their grandchildren for nearly 10 years.
Why am i so damn angry??? Why is it bothering me soooo much, especially as it goes against my thinking of trying not to let the world pull me down??? We aren't together any more, so whats the problem? :dunno:
I know that within these rooms there are soooo very many different and varied lives. I am really just wondering if anyone else can relate to where i am at?
Lots of love, hugs and kisses
Little
XXX

2 Jan 2005

Quote by Sexysteph
Little could it be that he is just such an insensitive Jerk which explains him as an EX?
You are worth far more than him honey....... I understand that the kids liked being with his parents but for him to ring you and rub it in is selfish and juvenile. Sorry babe but you are better off without him. and I am really really glad that you had a great time yourself doing YOUR thing.
You are one of the nicest kindest people I have chatted to and I can only wish for you the very best life can bring. Happy New Year Honey.
Sorry I cant relate to what you described cos if it had been me I would have sweetly and eloquently told him to go forth and multiply using a less favourable form of language. Take care honey catch you in the chat room

Thanks Steph,
Looking at things the way i do, i always look to see why something bothers me. It bothered me, becuase ultimatley it was yet another dig at me for whatever reason. Insensitive? Do you know him by any chance? He can't help it, its just who he is, which is exactly why he is my ex.
Still hard sometimes brushing it off, even when i know, that he really isn't being spiteful or a bastard, but just totally and completely insensitive to anyone and everyone around him.
Lesson learned for today? - When someone is who they are, don't expect them to act in a different way to who they are in the first place. Then you won't be disappointed. lol

Lots of love, hugs and kisses
Little
XXX
PS I know what i mean ! :bounce:

2 Jan 2005

I know what you mean too little. I have an ex husband and an ex boyfriend who treat me like crap still. xbf moved in with an 18 year old who was pregnant to someone else, while he was still stringing me along. I miss him like crazy but I know that I don't want him anywhere near me!
The ex husband treats me and our kids like shit. He won't commit to regular access dates and often only tells me on the day when he is going to have the youngest. He hardly bothers with the older one at all mad

I really want to take the attitude of 'fuck em all, I'm going to stay happy and do my own thing' but when your ex won't commit to having his kids how can I plan anything to make myself happier? If I do manage to get him to commit to a date I am forever biting my tongue to avoid arguments in case he turns around and says he won't have her any more rolleyes

Sorry, off on a rant again but as you can see, I do know what it's like to be fucked around and it pisses me off that I can't do anything about it.

2 Jan 2005

Ex's .............. aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggghhh
After the Xmas and New Year I have had, please don't start me off, cos I will probably NEVER stop.
I am there with you each one of you, all the way .................. hugs and all.

3 Jan 2005

*ahem*
Not all arsehole ex's are male
bolt

3 Jan 2005

Quote by dambuster
*ahem*
Not all arsehole ex's are male

3 Jan 2005

Quote by dambuster
*ahem*
Not all arsehole ex's are male

OMG ! :doh:
Maybe he sees me as the arsehole ex ! :shock: :shock:
Then again, i couldn't give a shit. :twisted: innocent

:giggle:
Lots of love, hugs and kisses to all ex's passionkiss

Little
XXX

3 Jan 2005

everybody likes to belong somewhere ,family groups are part of being human even if you did,nt feel right with his family you were still part of group and must have had some
good times now your not and can,t be so as they saying gose you never know what you got till its gone' even if you did,nt want to be there you could its gone
confused

: hope makes some sence to you as lost myself there rolleyes

have fun

3 Jan 2005

Hey Little
Happy New Year. You are always come across as a strong and happy person on here so I feel you will get over this very soon. The new year is with us - brush those feelings away as they only upset you not him and carry on shining in here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Corriexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

3 Jan 2005

I can understand what your going through. I need to get a better perspective on things too and stop analysing everything confused

Heres for a good 2005 for you!

3 Jan 2005

Quote by johnneuk1

everybody likes to belong somewhere ,family groups are part of being human even if you did,nt feel right with his family you were still part of group and must have had some
good times now your not and can,t be so as they saying gose you never know what you got till its gone' even if you did,nt want to be there you could its gone
: hope makes some sence to you as lost myself there
have fun

To be honest, its probably got more to do with - having spent years objecting to certain aspects of behaviour, the lack of tolleration for others, and the disrespectful manner in which we were all treated. In one foul swoop, its all been thrown out !
I will not accept unacceptable behaviour. Simple. (Unacceptable behaviour being of my own definition and requires no justification) My ex, has shown, through his actions that he doesn't find the behaviour uncacceptable. What bothered me was, did he ever really find it unacceptable in the first place????
Anyways, he hasn't acted any different to how i should have expected. Just leaves me with the job of trying to get the kids to see and look at what they find acceptable or not. But then, i'll not be worrying about the kids either, they have there heads screwed on.
I just screw.
Lots of love, hugs and kisses
Little
XXX

3 Jan 2005

Hi Little,
I too often get the same feeling, often in the company of my other side..reason...I dont know..I guess we all want to be liked and we all try to get on..well most of us do!
The long and the short is..not to waste too much time dwelling or looking for the answer as it changes minute by minute, day by day..etc..
Just face things head on and realise that we are not all privvy to all the conversations being held about us every waking moment of the day therefore we cant justify others perceptions and wrong impressions.
I hope this clears up things a bit..if not ignore me..lol
Regards
Al_mighty
PS
I am what I am!!

3 Jan 2005

Emotions in check, thoughts assimilated.
Thanks everyone. passionkiss

Anyone fancy a shag? :twisted: wink

Little
XXX

3 Jan 2005

Quote by t&t
Ex's .............. aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggghhh
After the Xmas and New Year I have had, please don't start me off, cos I will probably NEVER stop.
I am there with you each one of you, all the way .................. hugs and all.

3 Jan 2005

Quote by little
Emotions in check, thoughts assimilated.
Thanks everyone.

Quote by little
Anyone fancy a shag? :twisted:

3 Jan 2005

Quote by little
Anyone fancy a shag? :twisted:
Little
XXX

When you coming down this way ? I'm good at therapeutic shags :therethere: hump

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

3 Jan 2005

Quote by little
Emotions in check, thoughts assimilated.
Thanks everyone.
Anyone fancy a shag? :twisted:
Little
XXX

i do but i am too far away evil

3 Jan 2005

Quote by HungryP
Ex's .............. aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggghhh
After the Xmas and New Year I have had, please don't start me off, cos I will probably NEVER stop.
I am there with you each one of you, all the way .................. hugs and all.

Aaaaawww thanks redface

ops:
p.s. Can I share little's shag??? :twisted: :twisted:

3 Jan 2005

Hey, Little
You've had lots of good advice and I've also been personally pleased to relate it to my own experiences. It's good to realise you're not alone. Exs can be a real pain and I'm fortunate to have a wonderful son (now 22) and stepdaughter and stepson who know their father very well. But just to re-assure the men on here, i don't have a problem - there's lots of good fellas out there!!! I'm sure other women feel the same. xx

3 Jan 2005

Quote by Lucifer

Anyone fancy a shag? :twisted:
Little
XXX

When you coming down this way ? I'm good at therapeutic shags :therethere: hump

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
OMG ! You think i'm in need of therapy!
On my way :twisted: bolt

3 Jan 2005

Quote by ajg426
i do but i am too far away

I travel and have been known for the occasional adventure lol

3 Jan 2005

Quote by vodka_babe22uk
Little
i know just the thing to cheer you up
a nice deep bubble bath scented candles music and a crate of wine
then come here for a good blether
voddy xxxxx

You know me tooooooooooooooo well !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! drinkies

:giggle: